Rielle Hunter, Ryan Seacrest and Melissa Rivers


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 29.06.2012

Transcript:

JASON SKLAR: Today on the show, Rielle Hunter, Ryan
Seacrest, and Melissa Rivers.
No, it's not an all new episode of "I Didn't Know I
Was Pregnant." It's "The Tweekly News." And it starts
right after these fake karate moves.

Welcome to "The Tweekly News."
RANDY SKLAR: America's ninth most trusted source for
Twitter news.
JASON SKLAR: I'm Jason Sklar.
RANDY SKLAR: And I'm Randy Sklar.
JASON SKLAR: And together we are @Sklarbrothers.
And we're here taking a break from donating crates full of
OKC Championship merch to San Salvador.
RANDY SKLAR: You know, There are a whole swaths of
Hondurans who think the Buffalo Bills dominated the
NFL in the 1990s.
JASON SKLAR: Now since it's an election year, we often kick
off the show with "2012 in 140." This week, we're calling
it "2008 in 140."
RANDY SKLAR: That's because Twitter blew up this week when
2008's best-coiffed candidate John Edwards and his baby
momma Rielle Hunter split up.
JASON SKLAR: As expected, Twitter handled the news with
kid gloves.
@AngeGold tweeted, "John Edwards and Rielle
Hunter have split up.
She must be dying."
RANDY SKLAR: Yeah, aww.
Even Ann Coulter would call that harsh.
Fortunately soon after, emmarosecurtis tweeted, "You
all are being too rough on John Edwards.
Let he who has never knocked up a woman while his wife was
dying of cancer cast the first stone."
JASON SKLAR: Whoa, OK.
Twitter is like a virtual Comedy Central roast.
RANDY SKLAR: Without having to see so much of
Courtney Love's lady junk.
JASON SKLAR: Now it's time for @REPLY, where we reply
directly to annoying people's annoying tweets.
RANDY SKLAR: This week, Melissa Rivers shouted, "Just
got to NY for my cousin Caroline's weeding.
I'm a bridesmaid.
Woohoo."
JASON SKLAR: So first of all, I'd never been to a weeding.
Although I have been stoned at three weddings.
RANDY SKLAR: Was one of them yours?
JASON SKLAR: Let's just keep going.
And second of all, Melissa, why are you cheering woohoo
about being a bridesmaid?
No one wants to put on an ugly dress and play second fiddle
to the star.
RANDY SKLAR: Well, it is Melissa Rivers.
I mean, she's literally made a career out of being a
bridesmaid to her mother.
JASON SKLAR: All right, kids, pencils up,
it's time to re-learn.
RANDY SKLAR: Just like ex helps people re-learn life
without cigarettes with its free quit plan, we learned
this week that President Obama needs to re-learn how to up
his Twitter game.
JASON SKLAR: @barackobama tweeted out a sales pitch for
his new reelection buttons. "Get a pair of our new Obama
buttons for $5."
RANDY SKLAR: When did Obama go from being President of the
99% to President of the $0.99 store?
JASON SKLAR: Come on, Barack Obutton.
Show some swagger and up your swag game.
Even Benjamin Button wouldn't wear that button.
RANDY SKLAR: Yeah, he's a baby.
Babies don't wear buttons.
JASON SKLAR: No, because he's a Republican, and plus the
movie made, like, $1 billion, so he's in the 1%.
RANDY SKLAR: You know, every week we're fascinated by
what's trending on Twitter, especially the weird stuff.
This is, "That Was trending?"
JASON SKLAR: This week, RIP Michael Jackson was trending.
RANDY SKLAR: What?
I thought he died three years ago.
JASON SKLAR: Well, maybe Twitter knows
something that we don't.
I mean, did the King of Pop come back from the dead?
RANDY SKLAR: It is conceivable.
I mean, he was looking more and more like a
vampire before he died.
JASON SKLAR: So when we first saw RIP MJ trending, we
assumed he came back to life.
RANDY SKLAR: Only to be killed by a
time-traveling Abe Lincoln.
JASON SKLAR: Which, of course, is way better than being
chased down and hunted by Martin Van Buren, Werewolf
Proctologist.
By the way, Randy, do you remember exactly what you were
doing when you first heard that Michael Jackson died?
RANDY SKLAR: Yeah.
I was watching a documentary on the Kennedy assassination.
Now even though each tweet maxes out at 140 characters, a
cool twit pick is worth 1,000 characters.
JASON SKLAR: This is "Pic This." Ryan Seacrest tweeted
this pic with the caption, "What up jersey this is ur
wake up call at idol auditions."
RANDY SKLAR: That's a great Seacrest.
JASON SKLAR: Thanks, Rand.
I've been working on it.
RANDY SKLAR: Now I know Twitter is a medium where
brevity is the soul of wit.
But Seacrest has no soul, and therefore should not be
allowed under any circumstances to use the
phrase, what up?
JASON SKLAR: He should have an autocorrect on his iPhone that
converts all of his slang into the phrase, I am white, and I
am so incredibly sorry.
RANDY SKLAR: Now before we log off, it's time to end our show
with tweets to re-tweet.
JASON SKLAR: That's where we highlight tweets from people
we follow who we think you should follow, too.
RANDY SKLAR: Jenny Johnson tweeted, "Each time I hear an
AC/DC song, I picture a 50-year-old woman in a
bodysuit with freckled cleavage."
JASON SKLAR: Why is she thinking of Steven Tyler when
she's listening to AC/DC?
RANDY SKLAR: I have no idea.
JASON SKLAR: Thanks for accidentally clicking on "The
Tweekly News," and don't forget to follow
@thetweeklynews.
RANDY SKLAR: And if you want more of "The Tweekly News," go
to BecomeAnEX.org/Sklar for exclusive content, outtakes.
JASON SKLAR: And of course, Tweekly News buttons.
RANDY SKLAR: We're selling buttons now?
JASON SKLAR: Yeah, man, they're coming back.
RANDY SKLAR: Like MJ?
JASON SKLAR: Michael Jordan?
We didn't like Melissa Rivers.
RANDY SKLAR: Just got to NY for my--
JASON SKLAR: Is she southern?
RANDY SKLAR: I don't know.
[LAUGHING]
That's all my women characters are southern.
JASON SKLAR: You only know your women from the show
"Designing Women."
RANDY SKLAR: That's right.
JASON SKLAR: I get it.
RANDY SKLAR: Just got to NY for my
cousin Caroline's weeding.
JASON SKLAR: She's a gay man?
RANDY SKLAR: Yep.
JASON SKLAR: OK.
[LAUGHING]