Tim Minchin - Woody Allen Jesus (subtitulado)


Uploaded by MonesvolAkbar on 25.01.2012

Transcript:
I've promised you some great music tonight,we've got some coming up
it's a musical performance from a man who's here
to give us an alternative view of Christmas.
It is the fantastic Mr. Tim Minchin, ladies and gentlemen!
Jesus was a Jewish philosopher
had a lot of nice ideas
about our existential fears
much admired by his peers
Short and Jewish and quite political
Often hesitant and very analytical
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus
Woody... Allen... Jesus!
Jesus was a great entertainer
doing cool tricks all of the time
turning water into wine
making stormy weather fine
Even now his stunts confound us
Kind of did what Derren Brown does
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Jesus
Magic Woody Allen Jesus!
Jesus died but then came back to life
so the Holy Bible said
kind of like in Dawn of the Dead
like a film by Simon Pegg
Try that these days, you'd be in trouble
Geeks would try to smack you with a shovel
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus
Magic Woody Allen Zombie Jesus!
Jesus ascended into heaven
he was an incredible guy
you don't often find fellas that fly
disappeared right into the sky
And only once did he use his ability
With great power comes great responsibility
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Jesus
Jesus!
Jesus' mother gave birth to him
without having sex with a dude
no, she would never be that rude
never even being nude with the dude
Breeding without the opposite gender is
commonly known as parthenogenesis
Other animals that don't need males
include a lot of lizards, and various snails
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen Zombie Superman Komodo Dragon Jesus
Jesus!
Jesus can communicate with the deceased
like Psychic Sally
Jesus lives forever, which is pretty odd
but not as odd as his fetish for drinking blood
Jesus is in more than one place at a time
like and electron, or Schrödinger's feline
Jesus pulled off that water walking miracle
He was as handy as an amphibious vehicle
Jesus had bare feet, long hair and a beard
Look, I'm not saying it's me
I'm not saying that I am Jesus
I am Jesus
Praise be to Jesus
Praise be to Woody Allen Jesus
Woody Allen Jesus!
Praise be to Magic Woody Allen
Zombie Superman Komodo Dragon
Telepathic Vampire Quantum
Hovercraft *me* Jesus
Peace.
You've got some balls to do that Jesus song.
Ah, well.
So, I just wanna clarify, you're not Jesus?
It's not up to me, to say whether I am Jesus.
Tim Minchin's DVD
Live at The Royal Albert Hall is out now,
if you like comedy which is not just very funny
but smart as well, get yourself a copy
Mr. Tim Minchin,
Thank you Tim, great to see you.