Massholes Outtakes Eps. 1-5

[INTERPOSING VOICES]
PADDY: What the fuck are we doing right now?
JIMMY: And today my boy Kenny's [INAUDIBLE]
to his--
Sorry.
And today-- hey, and today my boy Kenny is going to
introduce us to his agent.
Going to be haw-- uh, [INAUDIBLE].
-You one more shot of Jameson?
KENNY: What are you, like an assistant junior agent?
JEREMY: Today's my third day in the mailroom.
[LAUGHTER]
-You sound like fucking Piglet.
JIMMY: And today my boy Kenny from Footloose is going to
introduce us to his agent.
And we're going to be [INAUDIBLE].

JEREMY: Today's my third day in the mailroom.
Today's my third day in the mailroom.
KENNY: Paddy.
JIMMY: It is yours.
KENNY: Yeah.
James Dean's.

Fucking freeloader inception in my living room.
Freeloader, is that right?
-Yeah.
KENNY: It sounds weird, though.
[LIPS QUIVERING]

-Plans take six.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
JIMMY: It's my agent.
Said I killed it.
-Do you know how dirty the bottom of your shoe is?

-[INAUDIBLE].
Fuck you.
Look at me.
I'm over here.
-I'm over it.
-Let's go smoke a joint.
[LAUGHTER]
MAGGIE: New Kids on The Block and [INAUDIBLE] all around.
-Speed.

-Shh.
Shh.
Shh.
Shh.
Fred, shut the fuck up.

PADDY: I'm not--
whatever Meatloaf said.
I'm not doing that.
-I'm going to be able to understand you, but the rest
of the world won't.
PADDY: I know.
-I won't do that.
And that's the Meatloaf line.

JIMMY: I think it's awesome.
Actually.
I actually miss Paddy quite a bit.

PADDY: The chick's a babe, right?
Cut.
I don't know, man.
I mean the chick's a babe, for sure.
Fuck.

JIMMY: [SINGING "A WHOLE NEW WORLD" PARODY]

-And then you realize it's the Footloose.
KENNY: Then she's a weirdo.
I don't even know what to-- what the fuck would-- what
would you do?
I don't know.
JIMMY: [SINGING "A WHOLE NEW WORLD" PARODY]

KENNY: Are you in there?
MAGGIE: What?
KENNY: Hey, have you ever heard of method acting?
[LAUGHTER]
[KNOCKING ]
MAGGIE: What?
KENNY: Hey, you want to be an actress, right?
MAGGIE: Ken, I'm the best actor you ever saw.
You have some [INAUDIBLE] on your face.
-Rolling.
We're still rolling.
JIMMY: Am I confused or don't you fight in the morning and
we break up in the afternoon?
Was that the next day?
-Smokes [INAUDIBLE]
-Dime.
Dime.
Hot tit.
Hot tit.
Hot tit.
-Hot mommy.
-Mommy.
So what we're doing--

-Kenny Wormald?
Yeah.
I thought it would be cool to have Kenny here on set.
Get a couple more Twitter followers.
I do have a couple more Twitter followers, however,
now this is what I get.
@BrentMcMasters, "Does Kenny Wormald smell
like my dreams?" No.
He doesn't.
He smells like pot smoke and booze.
-First of all, bwoop, Bacon.
I'm, what, officially one degree away from Kevin Bacon
now with Kenny.
He's giving me that stink eye.
I just want him to notice me.
I mean I don't want him to notice me.
Fuck Kenny.
Anyway, no.
I like Kenny.
-"Do you think Kenny has a big dick?"
-To the roof.
Move the [INAUDIBLE].
-No, I don't think he does.
He might.
-'Til next year, and then you're going to be in here
regurgitating Brad Pitt?
Hey, you got that from Deadline Hollywood.
Nikki Finke's Oscar breakdown, front of the page, right?
JIMMY: Read that, too.
-Read that, too.
Thanks, Jim.
You going to come in here?
JIMMY: And with the lighting and everything and the shot
compensation, you should probably take your top off.
[LAUGHTER]
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
-From the top.
CIARA: Fuck it.
-Come on, [INAUDIBLE].
Ciara, hold your hair up.
-[INAUDIBLE].
Shit, I'm sorry.
Top actually came off.
-You got to get his hand, bro.
-I know.
I'm waiting for him to look at me.
CIARA: Good.

[LAUGHTER]
-Why are you laughing, Ciara?
You can't laugh.
[INAUDIBLE].
KENNY: Fuck it.
Suck it.
Fuck you.
Fuck you.
Ya'll cool.
I'm done.
[MUSIC PLAYING]