Codex takes matters into her own hands - The Guild Season 6, Episode 12 - End Game


Uploaded by geekandsundry on 08.01.2013

Transcript:

CODEX: So a mob attacked Game HQ.
That happened.
And Vork fell off his dragon and hurt his arm, and there
were gamers running everywhere--
and they're not the most coordinated bunch-- so there
was dangerousness--ness.
At that point, during what I now call the Vork Ride of
Oh-12, I decided to take the high road--
put Vork in my car and drive away from HQ forever.
But then, I thought about Donovan on his stupid
treadmill desk, laughing at my expense.
I mean, what the heck with him being the mole and blaming
everything on me?
So then I changed my mind and decided to take the low, drag
wounded friend into the lobby and throw hot guy
under the bus road.
The Guild and I were in the carpool lane to confrontation.
Honk honk.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
-Raid HQ!
Raid HQ!
VORK: Awww, Codex, heels!
CODEX: I got nothing but hand sanitizer.
-We got tangles.
ZABOO: They tore her apart.
Sabina!
FLOYD: You!
Get out of my HQ!
THEODORA: Floyd!
This man looks injured, treat him gently.
Lawsuits.
CODEX: You sold me out and you released all
the expansion notes.
How can you live with yourself?
ROY: We all leaked it together, Dummy.
CODEX: What?
DONOVAN: We thought the great feedback would
give Floyd the release.
CODEX: But you betrayed him.
THEODORA: Your Guild leader started a riot, and your other
friend did excellent IT work for free.
No complaint there.
CODEX: But I was just trying to help him.
SULA: So were we!
CODEX: So we were all trying to help him, but we weren't
helping him at all.
Floyd?
VORK: Owww!
FLOYD: I'll tear you in half!
I take supplements.
BLADEZZ: Clara, you're on the wrong side!
CLARA: Oops!
CODEX: Floyd, your game team leaked the
expansion notes, not me.
SULA: Well, Codex deceptively covered for her Guild mates.
FLOYD: You mean you all betrayed me?
Oh, that's it!
I'm retiring to Hawaii with Morgan Webb.
I've met her twice.
It'll work.
And none of you are coming to the luau!
ROY: We just wanted the fans to see the genius
world we all created.
How hot are those mermaids now, huh?
ZABOO: They're not all boobs and fin, you know.
They have complex dialogue options.
CODEX: We all had your best interests at heart.
But your worst flamers are right out there in one
convenient place, so go take it out on them.
And forget about the Guild and the expansion notes, because
it's all so last year at this point.

Because if you don't, I'm going to go do it for you.
-Raid HQ!
Raid HQ!
Raid HQ!
Raid HQ!
Raid HQ!
CODEX: Stop it!
Stop it!
Stop it!
MADELEINE: Vork?
CODEX: Everybody get back!
Back, back!
Just shut up and listen for a second.
-6.5.
-5.
-That's a stretch.
-Oh, an official statement from The Game.
Leave your video responses below.
CODEX: No, this an official statement from someone who got
fired from The Game today.
And as my last act, I am here to tell you so-called "fans"
what jerks you are.
-She's mean!
-Go make me a sandwich.
CODEX: Think about the game as your girlfriend.
If you treated her like this, would you ever
get the good stuff?
Meaning the sex?
Unless she had very low self-confidence like I did in
high school with Rick Johnson?
No!
You would not!
-Rick Johnson?
Oh, man.
Who wants to google him?
Leave it in the comments!
CODEX: Please don't.
VORK: Madeleine?
Is that you?
Are you a mirage?
How, what, when, why, who?
MADELEINE: Oh!
Is the pain too much to bear?
VORK: The balm of you in my eyeballs takes it all away.
Not really.
I'm definitely hurting, but I--
MADELEINE: Oh, your speech was magnificent.
I was witness to a similar speech in '89 outside the
German embassy before the wall came down.
Semi-similar.
VORK: The power of me to lead is too great to
unleash upon the world.
Can you live with that?
MADELEINE: Oh, in all my years of dating Hollywood stars and
Washington advocates, you are the most unusual
man I have ever met.
I was led to your arms and that is enough.
VORK: Oh, ouch!
Fifty shades of victory.
-She's a really nice lady, but there's a sparkle
missing, you know?
CLARA: You've got to sparkle.
-And her kids?
Weirdos, too.
I mean, well, you know that.
CLARA: Oh, I know.
She'll get through it.
Believe me.
I'll help her.
-Thanks, little lady.
CLARA: Oh, any time.
Mind if I post a video of this?
-OK.
CLARA: Oh, come here.
CODEX: Do you guys know who's inside there?
All the people who make the game that you supposedly love.
But when you're ass-hats, online and like, right here,
guess what?
They don't want to make things for you anymore.
-The Game is folding?
OMG, guys.
-I knew they were pussies.
CODEX: That was taken out of context, vlogger.
FLOYD: Hey, you all, I got-- oh, a lot of people.
CODEX: Uh, [GROAN].
FLOYD: OK.
CODEX: OK.
Hi.
Great!
Thank you.
I was running out of smart words.
THEODORA: Everyone, The Game Team would like to
officially--

CODEX: Introduce themselves.
Yeah, this is Roy, the lead artist of The Game.
ROY: What's up?
CODEX: This is Donovan, lead programmer.
Theodora, the producer, runs The Game.
SULA: I'm the community manager.
I have my ear in the community, 24/7.
-Yeah?
Well, you can put your ear on my dick.
-Haha, yeah.
CODEX: And this is Floyd, the creator of The Game, who can
barely make anything anymore because of all of you haters.
FLOYD: And some of my own emotional baggage, which,
well, we-- yeah.
Do you guys know how hard--
[MUSIC PLAYING]
FLOYD: Well, no you don't.
Because you're here and you're making my life hell.
But let's have it out right now.
OK?
This is a chance for you to get out from behind your
computer and just say what you're going
to type to my face.
I'm ready.
Have at it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]
-You're awesome.
-I played for years, and I can't stop!
-I have a tramp stamp of the character
from your first game.
FLOYD: Oh, thanks.
-Gamers embracing their creators.
Oh, be sure to put in royalty-free
French horn music here.

FLOYD: Why do you guys say so many mean things, anyway?
-Low self-esteem.
-I'm an orphan.
-Floyd!
-[SCREAM]
I smelled danger!
-I was just going to get him to sign my limited edition
broad sword.
-Oh, sorry.
CLARA: Honey, your pizza throwing did something good.
Who'd of thunk?

[MUSIC PLAYING]
ZABOO: Wait, what?
CLARA: No wonder Blakey's hyperactive.
Go, honey!
Faster!
Faster!
-Hi.
You're Clara, right?
The blogger?
CLARA: Oh, fancy meeting a fan here.
-Oh, I'm not a fan.
But Controller Girl is looking to expand.
How would you feel about having your own
personal mommy blog?
We can pay a little.
BLADEZZ: Hey, did I hear pay?
You know, I think we can work something out, cutie.

DONOVAN: I have no one else to give this to, so--

TINKERBALLA: What about dinner?
DONOVAN: My treat?
TINKERBALLA: No, it's my turn.

Actually, sure.
We can try that.
Just hang on.
No need to waste it, right?
FLOYD: Everybody!
I got a great concept for a new expansion.
Underground Troll World.
-Yeah!

FLOYD: Well done, Codex.
CODEX: A lot of people want to friend my character now, which
is kind of creepy.
FLOYD: Well, you always have a place here, if you want it.
CODEX: Thanks, but I think my alternate reality is better
when it's not so real.
TINKERBALLA: Oh, no.
You'd better stay.
BLADEZZ: I still haven't gotten my schwag order, yo.
ZABOO: Do you have any facial recognition software?
There's a girl I need to find.
VORK: Unban me now.
FLOYD: Done.
But I still hate you.
CLARA: Let's all go get tacos.
CODEX: OK, but my Guild kind of comes with.
Like it or not.

So it's Friday night.
No longer jobless.
Yea!
Wow.
I was such a mess when I started doing these, but now,
not so much.
It's because I have the Guild.
I guess healing them kind of helped heal me, too.
We're a team.
We're friends.
And, yeah.
I guess that's all I needed.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]