The Flog Christmas Eve Spectacular!

FELICIA DAY: Hey, everybody.
Welcome to the Christmas Eve--
[SCREAMS]
What the [BLEEP]?

So it's Christmas Eve and most of you are not going to be
watching videos on the internet but as my present to
you I am here.
So happy holidays.

But first here are some Trio Mio presents for you.
Number one this week is a web series called "Squaresville."
It follows the adventures of Zelda and Esther, two nerdy
girls on a quest for--
I don't know, whatever they're questing for that week.
Anyway, it's really well written,
well acted, well shot.
It's well--
it's well everything.
I highly endorse it as a high quality web series
that you can enjoy.
So check it out on YouTube at /squaresvilleseries.
Number two is "The Giana Sisters," a side scrolling
platform game that is so reminiscent of "Mario
Brothers" that the 8-bit version got pulled from
shelves in the '80s.
But I don't care because this reboot is totally awesome.
It has all the retro music and game effects.
And when you power up you turn into a red-haired bad ass.
Which is kind of redundant.
See what I did there?
Last on our list is "Morning Glories," a graphic novel
about a prestigious prep school and six gifted students
who go there.
Now at first glance you might think this is some kind of
angst-ridden teen story but it is not.
Something mysterious is going on at this academy.
Think less "90210" and more like "Lost" with murder.
Bonus, they just released a hardcover deluxe edition so
you can catch up on all issues to date in style.
All right, time for our segment "Let's Get Our Holiday
Gaming On." I hate you, Santa Claus.

Hey everybody, it's holiday time.
RYAN: Happy holidays.
FELICIA DAY: Ryan is back-- my brother--
and can you guess what kind of game we're going to play?
RYAN: I think there are several visual clues.
FELICIA DAY: I don't know.
Which one would that be?
RYAN: Santa's disembodied head.
So this is called "Days Before Christmas".
It's a relatively obscure game, probably
because it's so great.
If you want to leave a comment why don't you comment on what
other games you want us to play next year.
Just anything.
Put them in the comments.
That's a Christmas gift to us and it's free for you to do.
Unless you want to charge us for your finger typing.
All right.
Right now we're starting.
And go.
RYAN: Action.
FELICIA DAY: Now I'm going to play the first term and then
we're just going to basically hand it back and forth.
Only days before Christmas Santa slept in his house.
An evil plot was brewing cooked up by an awful louse.
Oh, it rhymes!
What do I do here?
What do I do here?
It's snowy outside.
OK, watch this.
Whoa!
Why is he--
RYAN: There's a white substance shooting from his
crotch region.
Stripper pole!
FELICIA DAY: Stripper pole?
RYAN: Mrs. Claus has been learning to dance.
FELICIA DAY: Secret [BLEEP].
RYAN: That's not safe!
FELICIA DAY: Now you get on the armchair.
RYAN: OK.
FELICIA DAY: Was that it?
RYAN: I think this is the world's easiest game.
I'm just going to keep going forward.
FELICIA DAY: Get back there!
OK.

No.
No.
No.
Oh!
RYAN: Dude, kill the penguin.
FELICIA DAY: Oh my god.
What is going on?
Wait.
I can't do anything.
I can't bang anything.
Oh look.
Dinner bell.
What did it do?
Who knows.
Look at this creep business.
RYAN: That is really creepy.
FELICIA DAY: What the [BLEEP]?
RYAN: I got transformed into a present.
This is great.
FELICIA DAY: Stop doing that.
RYAN: Look at this.
I don't have to do anything.
Oh.
Oh [BLEEP]!
Why did I do that again?
FELICIA DAY: Why did you do that again?
My turn.
OK, this is where you went wrong every time--
going over the cliff.
So this is what I--.

What am I doing?
RYAN: He's waiting for iceberg.

Oh my god.
Why?
There's something awful about--.
He was all up in your grill.
Man, you can't rest a second.
Get very close, very careful.
FELICIA DAY: This is the worst thing I've ever played.
No!
RYAN: I don't understand it.
FELICIA DAY: Oh God.
No.
No.
No!

This is not what you should do with your holiday, guys.
Oh!
Stay on it!
Stay on it!

RYAN: Oh wow, he just exploded like a pinata.
FELICIA DAY: Wood factory.
Don't go through the crack.
RYAN: [LAUGHS]
FELICIA DAY: Shut up.
OK don't talk.
RYAN: This is serious business.
FELICIA DAY: Please don't talk.
Just achieve things.
Oh my god you talked.
So please don't be heedless.
Please just--.
RYAN: OK, we've got fifteen [BLEEP]
levels, guys.
Stick with us.
FELICIA DAY: It's not doing anything.
Guys, this is not how you design a game right now.
Where is he?
Come here, you [BLEEP].
RYAN: It's like Indiana Jones.
FELICIA DAY: It's a temporary cloud.
It's a temporary cloud.
Temporary cloud.
RYAN: Oh no!
FELICIA DAY: Dude, how many times did I
say temporary cloud?
RYAN: I didn't believe you.
FELICIA DAY: Temporary cloud.
RYAN: This is just-- it's just [BLEEP]
with us now.
Oh!

This is the most dismal piece of [BLEEP].
What happens if I--.
FELICIA DAY: I'm not getting that present.
All right, we can do this.
RYAN: OK, good.
Now life isn't so bad.
FELICIA DAY: I mean--.
RYAN: Did you see how well I aimed, right in the middle of
those two things?
Just [BLEEP]
this.
Just--
let's just get this over with.
Wow, there's a bottomless pit in Santa's house.
FELICIA DAY: Is that it?
RYAN: Oh come on.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, you [BLEEP].
[SINGING -- Christmas carols]
RYAN: Just the only thing that could make this game worse is
hearing Christmas songs [INAUDIBLE].
FELICIA DAY: There's no life lessons in this
game, honest to god.
RYAN: No, except that life is hard and it's going to let you
down and people let you down.
OK, last level.
FELICIA DAY: Last level!
Last level!
Last level!
RYAN: Mr. Weather--
FELICIA DAY: Is this bothering you?
Is this bothering you?
RYAN: No Santa.
Just keep going.
Oh, I won the game.
FELICIA DAY: You did it.
Was that it?
BOTH: Christmas has been saved.
FELICIA DAY: And all the kids around the world--.
RYAN: Rudolph is looking a bit--
I don't know what's happening there.
BOTH: Merry Christmas to all of you.

FELICIA DAY: See you guys later!
See you later!
Bye!
RYAN: Bye.
FELICIA DAY: Question of Note this week comes from Patty who
asks, if you could hike to the North Pole to meet Santa what
would you bring?

That was super awkward.
Dear Patty, before today I would have
brought a lot of things--
like cookies and dim sum and spa certificates--
because I think they do amazing work
at the North Pole.
But after playing "Days Before Christmas" the only thing I
want to bring Santa is a [BLEEP].

So merry [BLEEP]
Christmas, Patty.
Sincerely, Felicia Day.

OK, Patty.
I really appreciate your watching.
Hope you have a great holiday all of you, and I'll
see you next time.
Bye!