Why I Love Vero Beach


Uploaded by domdec314 on 16.01.2009

Transcript:
Some people call this Zero Beach.
Me, however, I like to call it...
THE CITY
Come with me. Let's see what this place is all about.
Did you know that there's a famous quote by Martin Luther King Jr. that states
What does that have in common with the gates of heaven?
Well, let's just say that
as soon as a person walks along the lines of Vero
they go from
HAPPY
to
SAD!
(deathly cry)
Established in 1543
Vero Beach High School is the oldest known
Class A school in the world.
Did you know that seven hundred thousand
percent of all doctors, lawers, and generally good people
have gone to that
school?
Established in 1200 B.C.
this place has been around for most of my life.
I mean, maybe even yours too.
Well, this place is where most well-to-do Vero folk come to dine
and hey, heh, I can't blame them.
'Cause I mean after all
Vero Beach is about
culture.
Reminds me of something George Washington said back in 1857
when he... when he found Plymouth Rock.
He said
Vero Beach
It's all about the good life, baby.
It's that time of day again in Vero Beach.
All the surfers from around the world are out here partying.
Did you know that Vero Beach
is one of the hottest surfing destinations in the nation?
Heh, and not only that
THE WORLD!
Haha!
Just take a look out there.
I've been all around the world.
I'm what you would call a traveler.
One who tries to
broaden his intellectual horizons.
I've been to New York City.
I've been to China.
I've been to Russia.
I've been to Belgium.
BUT NOTHING
IN THE WORLD
is enough to match
the Smithsonian Institute
of Art.
SO SIMBA
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERO BEACH?
(uncomfortable silence)
Heh heh!
I guess he's speechless!
(obnoxious laughter)
Now, you might be asking yourself
HEY!
I'm an athlete.
What does Vero have to offer for me?
Well, heh...
statistics say that over one hundred and fifty two million
percent of all athletes in the world
come from Vero Beach.
Did you hear that? Heh!
THE WORLD!
Heh heh!
Flush that down your toilet.
Haaaaaah.
Vero Beach...
it's beautiful.
Not only do you have the Golden Gate Bridge
but you also have the largest national nature preserve
IN THE WORLD!
Even beyond Yellowstone National Park.
Y'ever been sick before?
I know I have.
You might ask yourself
what if I have AIDs
or CANCER?
How's Vero gonna help me?
Heh!
I'll give you one hint.
It starts with an "H"
ends with an "L"
and the middle syllables are
"O"
"S"
"T"
"I"
"P"
"A"
I believe.
(Hostipal?)
You'd call that the hospital.
And not only any hospital.
THE GREATEST
HOSPITAL
EVER!
Did you know
that when Jimi Hendrix choked on his vomit
he went there?
And here's where it all ends.
Our journey through Vero.
Now
You may be asking yourself
Isn't Vero bigger?
Well, of course it is.
Vero is SO HUGE
that there's no possible way
that I can ever put it into one documentary.
I hope I've, uh, pleasured you with some
small tastes of just how high culturally
aesthetically
spiritually
verbally
Vero Beach is.
And I thought it fitting that we should end here
in the cemetery.
You know, when Thomas Edison
made the first light bulb
do you know what he said?
He said
when I die
I don't want to go to heaven
I want to go to Vero Beach
And that
my friends
is exactly
why I love Vero Beach.
(HEY) WHEN YOU COME TO FLORIDA
IT'S ALWAYS A GOOD TIME
DANCING WITH THE MANATEES
AND SWAYING WITH THE TREES
SIT BACK AND RELAX
AND TAKE A LOAD OFF
TROPICAL PARADISE AND TROPICAL DEPRESSION
NO MATTER WHAT
IT'S GOING TO BE A GOOD TIME
I HAD A BLIND CHICK
SHE COULD SEE VERO
I HAD A DEAF CHICK
SHE COULD HEAR VERO
I HAD A RETARDED CHICK
SHE COULD THINK VERO
I TOOK POOPIE
AND IT COULD SMELL VERO
OH, FATHER FATHER TIME
WON'T YOU GIVE ME ONE MORE DANCE
BY KEEPING UP THE SUN
JUST THREE MORE MINUTES
AND WHEN MY TIME IS UP
I WILL QUIETLY RETIRE
TO MY CASTLE WHERE I LAY MY HEAD TO REST
IN FLORIDA WHERE LIFE IS THE BEST
A COCONUT FALLS FROM A PALM TREE
LANDS ON MY HEAD
I HAD A SPIRITUAL EPIPHANY
ALL OVER MY BED
I WANT TO SMEAR VERO
ALL OVER MY BREAD
MY TURDY BIRDIES IS HUNGRY
AND THEY NEED TO BE FED
(BARK)
VERO VERO VERO VERO (HEY EVERYBODY LETS GO TO VERO)
VERO VERO IT'S A VERO (HEY EVERYBODY LET'S GO TO VERO)
VERO VERO HIYA VERO (HEY EVERYBODY LET'S GO TO VERO)
VERO VERO HIYA VERO (HEY EVERYBODY LET'S GO TO VERO)
VERO VERO POOP VERO (HEY EVERYBODY LET'S GO TO VERO)
VERO VERO DUMP VERO (HEY EVERYBODY LET'S GO TO VERO)
VERO VERO (HEY EVERYBODY LET'S GO TO VERO)
HAHA... POOP