100 тысяч - фильм Михаила Дубилета (2011) ("100 thousand" - Eng subtitles)

Uploaded by swerkl on 26.12.2011

- They've got nothing on us, right? We've kept it low and quiet, small-scale.
So we sit still, we're cool, we don't know a thing. That's all.
- Shut it. The place could be wired.
- Right. And FBI men watching behind the mirror.
Tough luck there are no mirrors here.
Wise Arts Studio presents
Vadim Burlakov, Sergey Kunickij, Anton Rosickij and Vladimir Shumkov
in a movie by Michael Dubilet
100 thousand
- Did you really need to be that dumb?
- Hang on. What on Earth do you know about stocks? You! About stocks?
- What's there to know? You see stockbrokers, you hear the stock will fly up three times in five days -
what else is there to understand? You've got to buy!
- Why did you start eavesdropping in the first place?
- No one comes to our bar in suits like that. And there they are, talking of the easy money.
So I marveled at the thought...
- "Marveled". I've nearly been had because of you!
- Asbestos is long prohibited. People get cancer because of it!
- "Prohibited", "prohibited". Plaster it - no one will make out if it's asbestos or not.
Those slabs will save us enough to buy a house for me - and for you.
I don't need such house!
- Hold him!
- If I got caught, I'd get whacked bad.
- I won't get away with plain whacking.
- What else then?
- He'll waste me.
- Oh, come off it. No way.
- Out of principle. He's of the thieves, they've got their own rules.
If he's got it in his head that I ripped him off, that's it!
This Gena The Bag is one hell of a man. There's a lot of rumors about him going around.
I know for sure he manages the gambling at dog fights. Crazy money in there.
- Why did you go to him then?
- The whole thing was safe. I often see him in the bar. He was sure to have the money at hand.
- As if he'd give you the money that easy. And how did he buy this story at all?
- He turned me down right away. So I offered him to share.
He goes: you stand for your words? I said: I heard it all right here, with my own ears.
Then he asked me for the name of the company.
- And you spilled it out?
- What else was I to do?
- I see. You told him the name, and he told you to go get laid, right?
- All in all, stock's not his thing. I thought I was just having a bad day.
- And your cocktail was absolutely shitty today.
- Thanks to you, we're all are having a bad day today.
- How do you mean?
- I've had to cancel shootings.
- Action! And the girl!
Cut! Let's try again.
- Do you know what time it is?
- Last take! The last one!
Skate, skate!
We're rolling?
- Yes.
- The girl!
- So that there's peace on the planet, let us all drink grape juice produced by...
- Damn it all. Cut!
- You're torturing the children!
- So the shootings got cancelled, and I didn't meet the deadline. I'm in deep shit moneywise.
- You won't get paid, that's all. I'm the one that's in real shit. Moneywise.
- Do you have any clue whom you chose to mess with, Tolya? You take me for a fag?
- Look, we're going to the police! They'll have your gangster by the balls.
- They'll tell us to go have fun with ourselves.
- He's got to be connected. How else would he have been in the business for so long?
- Three days ago they cost me a hundred thousand. And today they're worth shit!
The company is bankrupt. D'you know what 'bankrupt' is?
- A hundred thousand of what?
- Bucks, Tolya. A hundred thousand green that I paid like a freaking bastard. Having listened to you. To you, Tolya.
You said you'd stand for your words? You did. And stand for them you will.
- What do we have to show to the cops? What's the crime? Threats? They don't take in for that.
- That's not the way things are done. The money's yours - so is the risk. What have I got to do with it?
- Explain him.
Here's the deal, Tolya. If in two weeks you don't return me my money,
I'll hurt you so bad like you ain't seen even in the movies.
- You got it?
If I'd lent you the money, this would have been my problem. But you ripped me off, Tolya.
So now it's your problem.
- So I called you. What else was there to do? I picked up the stocks - and came here.
- What's the use of the trash?
- He said they're worth a thousand or so. Money all the same.
- Here's what I'll tell you: this is bullshit! Because of you I've lost such a part...
- I could not believe it, I didn't, didn't want to... You can't imagine what it's like... to see... how these... assholes...
...before my eyes... it's such helplessness... I... I would strangle them! But I'm left no forces. I've no forces left.
- Whose phone is it? I'm asking whose phone is it?!
- Mine, I think.
- Unbearable outrage! Are we playing games here? Listen, I did ask to have the mobiles switched off, didn't I!
Is it not possible to show elementary respect?
Let's see the next one! It's seven hours we're here!
- Move on, beat it!
- What do you want?
- Guys, won't we find a hundred grand in two weeks? We'll sell something.
- Like what?
- Cars. For our cars we'll surely get ten grand.
- Yeah, right. Both are half-wrecked.
- So? I'll patch them up.
- Listen, we're not talking about ten damned grand! In two weeks we've got to get together a hundred thousand. Dollars.
- Jewels, savings? Perhaps, we could borrow from someone? What if we sell our flats?
- Sounds good. We'll start with yours.
- I rent.
- We all rent.
- And no bank will give us credit, since we've got no steady jobs.
Man, she's hot.
Right then, let's go to the dressing-room to think. And quit mourning for yourself. You'll mourn later. In prison.
- You're in your office? I'll be in a minute.
- Once again you turn your desk into a snack-bar? Have a read! The devils!
I've seen swindlers, but these guys... simply devils!
- Everybody please make five steps back. Miss! For a few minutes, please!
- What's to rejoice about? You've got a lead?
- Just picture: in plain daylight, in front of hundreds of tourists they clear up Peter the Great in Kronshtadt.
- You mean the artist who poses for photographs with tourists?
- I mean the monument!
- Well, if it's in Kronshtadt, why send the case here? Let them deal with it themselves.
- Because everyone's laughed their asses off. And swindles are handled here. And by myself alone.
- Why haven't I been warned that you'd be working here? Who're you?
- How's that "haven't been warned"? Sort it out with your superiors. We're sort of money-collectors here.
- Must be a mix-up.
- Not caring about anyone, in front of the whole crowd!
- They took a lot?
- No idea.
- How long have you been working here?
- I don't work here, I'm all about breaking scissors here!
- Is it long you work around here?
- Chinese sh... what?
- How often do they collect coins from the monument?
- Which monument? Peter the Great? No way! That's the tourist spot.
Whatever coins fall out - are picked up, the ones that fall in, stay.
People say there's a large storage underneath the monument, and all coins end down there.
- I don't get it, why you're jumping around. Swindlers, right. Got the coins, right. You're sick dead of it all!
- Hold on, this is different. These are not regular swindlers. They're inventive. Daring.
- We're going, no?
- Good day!
- Hold it!
- Three guys, dressed as working men - have they parked here?
- That's right. Over there, cherry Nissan.
- Not so fast!
- What's the matter?
- You're alone?
- Come on, come on, faster!
- Let's roll!
- Makes it even more interesting to catch them by the fins, get it?
Bon appetit.
- If we buy suits every time, it'll cost us too much. To hell with workers' costumes,
but what if we need something more serious?
- Then we should find where to hire them. No proof, no traces. And we'll untie our hands too.
- Roubles, roubles, euro, roubles... how about you start working? I've got to go to the bank!
- I'm going to the bank.
- Why's that?
- You can't be trusted with money! You'll lose half on the way!
- Nah! He'll trade it for booze.
- Wow! Nigeria! Picture it, the coin made its way from Africa all the way to St-Pete's.
The whole world. It's... what?
- Nothing! Hurry up, I've go to make it to the bank!
How about you quit fooling around? Better help instead.
- Heads or tails?
- Don't make me mad.
- Heads or tails?
- Tails.
- Heads.
- Picture that, I walk on stage... and don't recall a single line!
- You know, I understand you're trying to...
- Would you like anything?
- Take this away, please.
- Well?
- Pour me some vodka.
- Forget vodka. Here, have a cocktail.
- Pour me some vodka.
- What's up at the bank?
- A fine river view!
- Good day. You exchange coins?
- Have you exchanged the coins? I told you I should've been the one to go!
- Cool it.
- Breathe even.
Four thousand dollars!
- Any problems at the exchange?
- They'd never seen that many coins. Even paid me extra so that I never show up again.
- And to keep the money we'll need... a handbag!
- Put the stocks there too. Out of harm's way.
- Watch it. That chair's falling to pieces.
- Quit stuffing yourself. You're supposed to be losing weight, Hamlet!
- Don't you dare to control me! As much as I want - I eat!
- Girls, don't quarrel.
- Yeah, are we going to keep sitting around? Eating and having cocktails?
- Don't make a fuss. Aim your questions over there.
- Enough with the Einstein looks. What's on your mind?
- I do have an idea.
- Speak up then!
- Here's how I picture it all.
- Good day.
- How do you do.
- May I be of any assistance?
- You tell 'im, we're after a gift for my homie. A damn decent one, no crap.
- We require an old and exquisite antique object.
- I take it you will be picking it by its price?
- He plays smart, I'm goin' make the bugger dance!
- If you could be so kind as to restrain from...
- I got it. In this room we've got only relatively inexpensive things. Let us step into the next room.
- Here's an antique clock, 18th century.
- Whatd'ya say? Good stuff?
- This is more of an expensive trinket...
- I beg your pardon! It's handmade by the late great...
- Something's buzzing in my ear. Let's move it.
Hey! Follow me.
- Quite a unique item. Of everything we've seen so far - this is the first seriously interesting purchase.
- Ask'im, how much is he after?
- Thirty two thousand.
- Green?
- The price is in roubles.
- Do I look like a junkie? Tell him to spit it out then! No way I'll make a one-grand present to my homie.
Tell him to call for his kingpin. I'll slice him open!
- If you haven't heard correctly...
- I have heard you.
- Hi. Marble chimney-corner clock, 19th century. We'll pay around three.
- These are typical 'new russians'. They beg to be ripped off to the limit.
- Who should be dancing around here? Me, you say? Take me for a shitcup, do they?
- Good day to you!
- Look here. Here's the deal. See that shit right there? Whatd'ya ask for it?
- Well, you see, it's a de luxe exhibit...
- How much is this sex-zibit?
- I'd be willing to let it go for... three thousand. Dollars.
- Now we're talking! I can't give the Bull some cheap crap, right? We're on it.
- Wait. Let us step to the cashier and fill all the forms.
- Move it!
- We shall try.
- And no fooling 'round!
- Telephone for you.
- Have them call later.
- I tried. But it's very important.
- Forgive me, I must leave you. A deal for... say, six thousand will be taken care of by our consultant.
I beg your pardon.
- Listening.
- Good day. I am the executive producer of the movie 'Burnt by the Sun 2' by Nikita Mihalkov.
Do you know such director?
- Good lord, who doesn't know the director Mihalkov? It is classic!
- For the key scene of the movie we absolutely require a 19th-century marble chimney-corner clock.
And it's nowhere to be found in Moscow.
- I don't gettit. Some lamer goin' handle us?
- You've closed the deal. We've nothing but formalities left.
- Kinda like let lamers do the dirty work? Right, do the dirty work then. I'll look around.
- All the legalities and taxes - 15 per cent extra.
- Dodgy business they run here, eh?
- We've looked everywhere! As I understand, you too don't have such a chimney-corner clock?
- Such clock we do have, but...
- No buts! My dear! Immediately get the paperwork done!
- Oh, if only it was not so unique...
- We will not bargain. Will ten thousand dollars be enough?
- The problem is...
- Twelve!
- All right! We will sort out all the problems.
- Let's move.
- Wait! Please come back. There's been a terrible mistake.
- What the hell?
- We've had a mix-up. You will have to return the item. However, I'm ready to compensate for your wasted time.
- So then, to the bar. And move it!
- Five and a half thousand net profit!
- Funny how he breathed it out: "it is classic!"
- Thank you, Nikita Mihalkov. The grand master always said that first you work for your name, and then...
...and then his name works for us.
- He paid easily?
- Yep. You should've seen his hands tremble as he counted the bills. As though before a rendezvous with a girl.
- Let's go...
- And so everyone will be looking for blind vagabonds and our hands are clean.
- And I'm telling you it's dumb! And boring! That's not the way, don't you get it? Like children.
- Look at things realistically.
- And how do I look at them? Let's hit on money collectors. Rack a load of dough! The whole sum at once!
- Right. And they're armed. And live cartridges.
- So?
- So they'll start shooting!
- We'll knock them out before they start shooting, that's all.
- You've gone total nuts. Extremist.
- Oh to hell with you. Do whatever you want. I refuse to work like that.
- Listen, we don't have to risk our lives. We can do it quiet, neat. Here's what I think, what if we...
- You're still chattering? You'll spend your whole life locked up in here.
- Why don't you liven up our solitude then...
Will you come any closer?
- How do you like the skirt?
- What, in front of everyone?
- I'm not ashamed of anybody. That's the kind of work I do, no time to be ashamed. You?
- I'm even less so. You've got breaks so rare that I cherish every second with you.
- I thought we were talking about something.
- We'll get back to this conversation, right? - No doubt about it.
- You'll drill a hole!
- Girls, go to work!
- Why are the girls to blame?
- 'Cause we won't make it! You get it? We're late!
He'll get back to the conversation! I get killed, then you'll get back to the conversation.
- Oh, calm down. We're doing what we can.
- In four days we've gathered twenty. And should have made double that! Almost a week gone by!
And today you're sitting around, not doing shit!
- You're the one doing a lot.
- If I could do it myself, you'd not be sitting here! You think this is easy on me? It's my head on the line here!
- And the fact that we've become swindlers because of you - that doesn't bother you, no?
Thanks to whom are we around? You'd better shut your mouth and bring cocktails over!
- And what would you have done in my place? Such a chance coming your way! You'd sit still?
What, stand around and see the opportunity roll by you? I'm asking you, what have I done wrong?
- You've done everything wrong! From beginning to end! You're a barman?
Well, be a barman and stay away from things where you don't understand jack!
- I was just trying to earn some money.
- Earn? You tried to make a pile out of thin air! Why did you tell him the name of the damn company, anyway?
And to us you should've come before and not after!
- You'd try to change my mind. - How surprising, eh? We're so predictable! Amazing!
- To hell with you then. Go off! Sorry for asking my friends for help.
- You're daft. Remember in the first grade we all went down into a boiler room? On Gorokhovaya street.
- And so?
- Who chickened out first? Remember?
- You did.
- I did. And he said: there's four of us here. And it felt better. You get what I'm saying?
- You're in business, so we're all in it.
- You better tell me, have you ever heard of Victor Lustig?
- No.
- No? Well, there was a French guy with that name. So in the twenties of the last century,
when the Eiffel tower was closed for renovation, pretending to be a Ministry worker he sold it to buyers-up! As scrap metal!
- No way!
- And then he fled to America. There he got caught, though, and was locked up for twenty years...
...for counterfeiting. - Stick to the point.
- Chinese constructors. As of late the Chinese come here and build entire districts.
- Oh, quit it. You with your delusion of...
- Yes! The tower of Gasprom!
Hey, why not, why the hell not? They'll pay a fortune only to be able to build that tower!
It's rollback money! No publicity! A bribe! It's all under the table!
- Don't you get it, in an affair like that it's not a hundred grand we're talking about! But millions.
And then local constructors will find us for that. Like competitors. Or the FSS.
It's government workers we'll be impersonating. We'll get ripped apart big time.
- So let's collect labels and bottle caps. Maybe we'll win something.
- Let's think. Where does money flow, in general?
- In jewelry stores.
- Now that's a thought. If we go blatant, dirty boots all over the carpet - it might work out.
- Mister! What's going on?
- Everyone calm. LenGaz.
What've you got?
- Hell, same, so to speak, picture as next door.
- Woman, breathe evenly. We're not robbers or something.
- Right, you stop right away and explain to me what's going on.
- Work on.
Miss, don't be yelling - you're not on a parade. You laid the gas pipes yourselves?
- What gas? You're out of your mind? This is a jewelry boutique!
- Oh!
- Oh!
- I think it's here!
- Well, draw it. They'll open up everything here anyway.
- What are you doing? And who gave you the right? And what is it you're going to break here in my store?
- Missus, hand back the marker. 'Cause we're kinda nervous, our job is, so to speak, dangerous.
- You'd better not argue with him.
- Thanks, missus.
- Girls, get me Vladimir Petrovich on the line. We'll deal with you.
- Oh, what's to deal with? It goes all along the wall, right?
- Yes. Vladimir Petrovich, we've got a problem. Could you come right over? Yes, now...
- Well, tell me.
- Vladimir Petrovich, there's no controlling these two, they've messed up all the walls.
- You're the ones that messed up the walls!
- What gas company?! You've seen their papers?
- The policeman checked the papers.
- What policeman?! Hang on. Tell me everything in order. I need each detail. Each one of them.
- And what if the house blows up? People will die! You'll be sent to prison!
- Easy with prison there... It's good that you've come in time. Right, Alla, you may go.
And call the police, just in case.
- Wait. I remember clearly that you put the glasses in your pocket.
- Oh, spare me the rubbish! Stick to the point!
- Easy with prison there... It's good that you've come in time. Right, Alla, you may go.
And call the police, just in case.
And you too, go back to work.
- You've got a pipe here! The pipe breaks - that's a leak.
- Which pipe breaks?
- And a leak is an explosion! The entire house can collapse!
- We're closed. Come tomorrow.
- How rude!
- Get it, no? You were the one to lay the pipe?
- I've never even seen no pipes! And I've no clue what's inside these walls!
- We've got gas company with an inspection. Could you send someone over? Yes, right away.
- And what now?
- The gas pipe passes through here. But it should be going that way. And stick out over there.
- Well, not hard to guess. What it was they said is of little importance.
Who would wish to have their store closed for a month for reparations, right?
- What reparation? Were they gas men or not?
- Gas pipeline is never laid inside walls of residences. Never. Go on with the story.
- Nothing to go on with. They finished messing up the walls and took off...
- And from this point in more detail.
- Wait! Perhaps we could reach an arrangement? A thousand?
- Are you attempting to bribe me? Do you have any idea what it might result in for me, and for you too?
- Speak lower. Two. Two thousand. Dollars.
- Let's get out of here.
- Wait. Three. Four. Five? All right, five, but that's the limit.
- Your papers please! Who called for the police?
- I did. You've come very quickly.
- We're increasing efficiency. If anything goes wrong - there's a squad waiting outside in the vehicle.
Your papers.
- The fourth check in two days. - Everyone's gone mad.
- What are you handing me? Exhibit the permission of the district administration.
So that everything goes by the law.
- You're welcome! Here's the permission.
- With stamps... all stamps are there...
- Inspection... residual gas pipeline... first decade of June. Right then, everything is in order here. Any questions?
- No questions.
- Right then, and do you have any questions?
- We've finished the inspection. No further questions.
- Sorry to have bothered you.
- That's my work. Good day.
- Right then, a policeman too. Plus a car, so a driver is possible. Hence three-four men, right?
Oh, devils! Do you realize that if you file a swindle case, this will automatically be a testimony against yourself?
- How so?
- An attempt to bribe a functionary.
- But they are swindlers!
- And at the moment of committing the crime you were not aware of it. And what if it had truly been LenGas?
What if indeed the risk of a leak? And offering a bribe to a functionary is article 291. Up to eight years.
So, think, decide. Do we file the case?
- Hi.
- New cases?
- Uhuh.
- How's your quartet?
- Devils. True devils. Picture it, they never once repeated themselves. Wherever on Earth did they come from?
And nothing to pin on them. And no idea where to look for them. Even if we catch them,
we've no reason to take them in. Any lawyer will get them right out.
It's on their free will that people give them the money... Sooner or later they'll make a mistake, of course...
- This case is on everybody's watchlist now. People in the precinct even envy you.
- You're mocking me? Ever since I was moved here from CID, they talk all kinds of things.
- Well, there are pluses, eh?
- Yes.
- I'll be on my way.
- Good evening.
- You're a no good businessman, you are.
- Oh, quit it!
- What's up?
- Let's get out of here.
- Is this Gena the Bag?
- Listen, the nineties are well over. Makes no sense running from him. Let's go and talk to him.
- Hi, Tolya. Glad to see you. You lose no time, eh? Working.
- And what seems to be the matter?
- Boys, take a walk. I've things to talk over with Tolya.
- I think we'd better stay.
- Tolya, don't play on my nerves.
- And I say we're going nowhere.
- What is it you've said?
What have you just told me? Tolya owes me money. You're in on it?
And you're all in on it?
And is it together that you'll pay the money back?
- Well, there's no way we leave him here alone.
- Pay the money back, I ask - is up to all of you?
- It sure looks that way.
- Goodie. Let's go then, have a talk with all of you.
- Girls, we won't disturb you?
- Hey, Tolya, how about a cocktail?
- Let's keep it sober today.
- Oh, oh, no hospitality. Right then, sober it will be.
- I'll skin you if you don't wipe the smirks off! Get the hell out here, whores!
- This is too much! This is our dressing-room!
- What's that you said?
- Girls...
- What?!
- What an outrage.
- And the outrage, boys, begins if in six days I don't see my money.
- This is what I was meaning to talk to you about. I've some questions about your so-called... deal.
- Hey!
- What're you doing?
- Down! Sit down, I said.
Go on, spell out your questions. Louder!
I take it, there are no questions. So the terms are clear.
In six days I want to see the whole amount. You get it, Tolya? Whole!
Otherwise I will cut your skin off in strips. Beginning with your backs.
And then I'll kill you. Out of principle. Here's where you all are to me. Six days.
- Guys, how are you?
- My head's spinning.
- Get off me, I'll manage. Bashed up all my kidneys.
- Both with a single kick?
- Maybe a drink?
- Pour me some vodka.
- Here, will tequila do?
- Pour me some vodka.
- Something to drink?
- To hell with your 'something to drink'! Better something to eat.
- A cocktail for you?
- Go on. And what about you diet?
- Listen, now's not the time. At this pace, in my short life I'll never get to play Hamlet.
- Guys, what do we do? Tolya wasn't kidding about the thug.
- Yeah, this one will in fact skin us.
- Uhuh. Out of principle.
- Hey. You'll be laughing, but think I've come up with something.
- You know, you really need to make an effort to make us laugh now.
- Enough. Go on, what's on your mind?
- I think we should take the girls to a club.
- How original!
- Hey! What're you doing? I'm asking you, you don't see where you going, what?
- The hell you stand by the door for?
- No, you didn't get it. That's pure coke, I've paid four hundred for it!
- You got ripped.
- What!? You think you can just take off like that?
- I said it's your fault. More questions? Get lost.
- So I move across the crowd and guess what? I stand there, mouth open, and I don't believe my eyes.
Before me stands Ksenia Sobchak!
- No way!
- Cool!
- Same as I see you now!
- Crazy, man!
- Drunk, barely keeps on her feet. Starts hugging me, kissing. I was shocked, I say.
- The hell you doing?
- Dude, I really didn't see you.
- You got any idea what the powder was? Pure coke, I paid four hundred for it!
- Dude... and no way to pick it up.
- That's it! A mess!
- Right then, my bad.
You come here often?
- Every week.
- I don't remember you!
Be my guest then.
- Ksenia will be there, Timothy as well, all the stars! It starts in two hours.
The cream of society will be there. The whole city will be rocking. And photos in all magazines after that.
- How come you got the tickets? And why d'you sell them?
- And what good are thirty tickets to me? I carried Ksenia to her room, she tossed me over the bunch.
Drunk as hell. I ran off, thinking: she sobers up, surely will want the tickets back.
- What do you ask for the tickets?
- Look here. It's written three hundred green on the tickets.
I'll let you have them for two hundred, if you take them all.
- Looks cheap, guys.
- Yeah, gotta take 'em.
- Work!
- I look into the binoculars. And I go, like, no way! I mean, I rub my eyes...
And there's right in front me, full naked...
- Come with me.
I'll be back.
- Who was naked there?
- I get back, I tell you.
- Hello! Can you hear me?
- Uhuh.
- With so much money in the toilet?
- Girls, get out of here.
- Got the wrong toilet?
- Take care of the client.
- You'll see now.
- Where d'you get the powder from?
- Here, take a look!
- Someone must have given him a treat.
- And the tickets?
- Every single one! Six grand!
- Great. Let's move. Help me lift this hulk up.
- How many times have I told 'quit stuffing yourself'!
- Lights! Bright! And the flares! People, look - people!
- He's flying high!
- Oh, a food-store! Let's stop by, we'll get some juice...
- Come on... look at me... come here... Let me give you a kiss...
- Open up! We're on invitation from Ksenia Sobchak.
- Hey, people! Hey!
Check this out.
Funny kind of Ksenia lives here, I guess!
Nursing home for the elderly
- Great joke! Sure worth two hundred!
- If you're up to it, I can supply you the powder. Through the bar. Good quality.
- What, you didn't like it?
- Good day to the actors. How was your show?
- Amazing!
- Oh, you know, splendid! Kids were overcome with joy. They approached us, thanked,
told us they hadn't seen such a show in a long time.
- Children's play in costumes of workers?
- We adore realism.
- Yes!
- Now we're here after costumes of firemen.
- Experimenting. - How interesting.
- A den was busted on Ordinarnaya street. Beats your quartet by far.
Twenty girls in militia uniform. Dances and other pleasures for the rich. Guess what it's called?
'Payback'! Got it?
- No.
- Daytime they do us, nighttime we do them!
- And where did they get so many uniforms?
- Rented somewhere! Without papers you can't buy them, but renting is no big deal.
- Listen...
- You're still chasing your elusive boys?
- Yes, yes... There is one thought...
- Oh well, work on.
Costume rental
- We're working on a parody. 'Men in black'. Rehearsing today. So we need strict business suits.
- Oh, we've enough of those.
- This doesn't look anywhere near one thousand bucks.
- It'll do. The main thing is to get an expensive watch. And fine ties.
- We also need full-height costumes.
- We have those, but they're working in a project. Some children's movie. Call tomorrow, I'll try to find out.
- Any sooner?
- Right, call me in the evening.
- We need them today.
- We'll pay extra.
- And what if the costumes aren't here by seven?
- Then we go with no costumes.
- How's that? They'll remember our faces.
- No one will remember us. By seven they'll all be drunk dead.
- You've gone crazy? To lose it on the last hit? We return the debt and then stay on the run from the cops
for the rest of our lives?
- Calm down, everybody. If there are costumes, we take the costumes, it's safer with them.
If there aren't, we go without. We're way past covert operations.
And anyway, we may still not need to go to the wedding. We've five thousand left.
- Good day, may I be of assistance?
- You may.
- Excuse me, where are you going?
- We would like to speak to your director.
- I understand English, thank you.
- We cannot lose our time with you.
- Either you pay, or you clear the premises by the end of the month.
- Sit down! You don't need an international scandal, do you?
- Half of the block are my debtors! No, it's out of question!
What? That's all! What's the matter?
- I'm sorry, I...
- We come from Austria. We are from Hoffner and Braun company.
We would like to speak about a copyright infringement case.
- We represent the world guild of photographers.
- Oh, you need to address the marketing department. This is not up to me.
- No, no. Sheryl Nields is the author of the photograph which is printed by the entrance of your trade center.
Do you know who is depicted there?
- Some blonde.
- We are the proprietors of the rights for that photo. The cost of rights for the photo in such size
is 11.000 Euros per year. Either you sign a yearly contract, or we pass the copyright infringement matter
on to the court.
- And who's that?
- Lawyers. To witness your acceptance of guilt, should you choose to deny it in the court.
- Here's the deal, gentlemen lawyers. First of all, the top price for your suits is one hundred dollars.
Secondly, such matters are first dealt with a fax to the marketing department. And thirdly...
A delegation from Austria over such a laughable amount - is nonsense.
There's a button under my table. The security will be here 46 seconds after it's pressed.
I've just pressed it.
- You do understand that...
- 40 seconds!
- You bastard!
- What's going on?
- Gena the Bag is looking for you. Came to the bar twice.
- Got it. I'll be there soon.
- Hold it right there!
- Damn it!
- Move it! Hurry up!
- Start it up! Come on!
- Some lawyers... Alla, please call the police.
- Well, I did mess up with the numbers. But how was I to...
- Shut up!
- We're five grand short.
- So we'll squeeze out the maximum at the wedding. Call about the costumes.
- Good day. I'm about the full-height costumes. Oh, that's great. We'll be there shortly. Thank you.
That's it, the costumes are ready. They're waiting for us.
- Businessmen, you say. Four? Oh, what kind of identification? What have we got on them?
A paper with a fake stamp? No witnesses. They're four, he's one. We won't prove anything.
Listen, at this moment I am looking at four men with businessmen suits in their hands.
In five minutes they'll be out of here on a new case. You really do want me to drop everything
and drive to the god-damned trade center for that testimony?
I'm sorry for the burst out. All right. Yes, I got it.
- A mad rhythm - from rehearsal to rehearsal, from premiere to premiere.
- I understand. The times are such.
- Aha-ha, what do you think?
Hey, give me another suit then.
- And what's the project that is being filmed with these suits?
- What project?
- Hey-ho!
- Well, you said that the costumes were taken from some production?
- It doesn't suit you at all. Try this one.
I've no idea, some movie for children.
- As though made specially for me, eh?
- Looks good on you!
- They let the costumes go easily?
- Hang on, let me help you.
- You know, it's uncommon that costumes be given away from the set. Usually costumers hang on to these.
- I think we'll have them back in the evening.
- Hamlet! Here! - Why me? It's heavy!
- I'll catch up with you.
- Hey.
- Hey. What's with Gena the Bag?
- Mad as hell. Looking for you.
- Strange. We agreed I'd come see him in the evening.
- Maybe something urgent. Call him.
- No. If he doesn't call himself, it must be no phone talk. Never mind, I'll handle it.
- Hi!
- Hi there.
- We thought you forgot us completely. Why so glum?
- Sorry! Zenit is playing!
- What kind of a guy will prefer football over a girl?
- Oh, one in every two. But once the football is over, I'm at your total disposal.
- Guys, let's make it brief. We drink, we move on. Can we talk in private, no?
- Listen, why do you chase them out all the time? Girls, let's drink together?
- Of course!
- Let's have some champagne and then talk alone all you wish!
- So what do we drink to?
- Let's drink to the last stroke of the pen.
- And to the last drop then.
- To the last curtain call.
- Your turn.
- To the last frame.
- What is it you guys're so busy with all the time?
- That's our little secrets.
- Now bring me some vodka, ok?
- Time to go back to work.
- Pass me the glasses.
- Let's take a look?
- Hand me the black one.
- There you go.
- Hm, this is good!
Help me zip it up.
- What's this rot?
- Sure rotten! Did you see how he kicked his leg? Red card here, definitely!
- Flank him! Flank him!
- Tolya, bring the volume up! I can't hear a damn thing.
- Enough yelling. Let's watch the game quietly!
- Guys, going far?
- Let's go.
- If anybody asks, no one saw us, no one heard, all right?
- Is everything all right?
- I'll explain later.
- You think it's Gena the Bag? - Why would he need the microphones? It's the cops.
- Where're you going? - My car's by the entrance.
- It's probably watched. Let's take mine.
- And why do need all the money with us?
- You don't expect to return here, do you? That's it, games are over.
- Yeah, and get rid of the stocks too. Garbage for us, proof for the cops.
- And what if... - What if what?
- Look who's driving in the car!
- How did the cops find us?
- The bugs were on the costumes, so by the costumes.
Damn! We leave no tracks and still we got tracked down so stupidly.
- What have they got on us anyway? That we took a bribe? That's no crime, all in all.
Or that we took the coins? They belong to no one.
- The antique shop man gave us the money on his free will.
- That's why they planted the bugs, 'cause they've nothing on us.
Right, we pull off the wedding quickly, we give the money back and we lay low.
Everybody hides home and we stay put for a week.
- A month. - A year!
- Be happy and healthy for all your lives! - Thank you!
- Beg your pardon!
- Shall we take a walk?
- Are you kidnapping me?
- Yes. But it's a secret. Hurry up!
- Yes, of course. I got it. I will call you back tomorrow!
- Gentlemen, be careful!
- Here you go.
- Easy, easy there...
- And where are you going? - What do we have here!?
- For a ride.
- And does uncle Sasha know?
- Of course he does.
- You want to come with us?
- Will you come to my wedding too?
- To your wedding we'll definitely come!
- Hey, ho! Having fun? Gimme five! Hey, girls!
- The bride's been kidnapped.
- What? Where have you taken her? Speak up!
- The bride's been stolen.
- Ladies and gents, something has happened! And where is our bride? I think she's been kidnapped!
- Yes! And we won't give her back just like that!
- And if the groom loves the bride, he'll collect a handsome ransom!
- I could bury you, bastard!
- Easy there. It's only a game. Smile. Just a game.
- Collect I will! Hey, friends, don't be stingy! They need a ransom - a ransom they'll get!
- Go ahead!
- May I?
Will we gather the ransom?
- Sure thing!
- You missed Lika, fool! Look for her now wherever you want!
- Will do.
- Boys and girls, let's collect the ransom for the bride. Come on, as much as you all can!
- Listen, who are these guys? Is this your work? - No. Maybe friends of Lika's?
- We've looked everywhere, she's nowhere around.
- Must've driven her somewhere. Damn, they thought of everything.
Ninety thousand! Can find no more.
- Let me check.
Hello? They say ninety and that's that.
Right, got it.
Little. Much too little.
- How's that too little?
- How about we kick your butt too little?
- Such a bride! And beautiful, and kind, and practical! We'd better keep her!
- I'll go on looking.
- You do that.
Keep her? No way! That - I can't allow!
Bros, let's push our pockets! Thank you, dear! That's a manly act! Thank you!
One hundred twenty-five. Not a rouble more!
- Let me check. They give one twenty-five.
Too little? Again?
- We've no more money!
- They say they've no more money.
They say: too little.
Wait, wait! If there's no money, you can pay with a dance!
- Now the groom will dance! Bring vodka in!
- And pop the music louder!
- Hurry, hurry! There'a show for you right inside!
- Lika! I will never ever let you go again!
- Start it up! Come on!
- One hundred twenty-five thousand - it's more than five thousand dollars.
Stop somewhere, we'll exchange it. So the total is what? Huh?
A hundred thousand!
- A hundred thousand! We did it! One hundred thousand dollars!
- What a dump. And here we are like assholes in these costumes.
- Oh, you make a swell Ratatouille.
- We'll get through.
- Heading straight into his jaws.
- We're already in there, as deep as it gets.
- That's five on the red one. The bet's mine, got it?
- Check out the clowns! Mickey-mice!
- I take it we're the principal entertainment of the evening.
- Guys... and what if we risk it?
We bet the whole hundred on the fight.
Hey, we come clean with Gena and there'll be some left for us too.
- He'll take your dough and make you owe him still. If you win, that is.
- Tolya, hi! I've been looking all day for you. Good thing you turn up yourself. You're here for some carnival?
- So it seems.
- I see you don't come empty-handed? You brought it all?
- You're stained with blood.
- What is it you've said?
And you keep it shut until spoken to. This all ends in an hour. Sit around.
- Maybe we can give the money and go?
- Shut your trap! I said: sit around.
- You could at least get cocktails ready.
- People always pay me their debts. Always. And so will you.
You've one week left. Got it? And don't think of running. I'll find you and punish you.
You, your bitch, your puppies. Got it? Get lost now.
Let's move.
- There's a hundred here? Right, to hell with it. Pick it up, don't stand around! And where are the stocks?
- What stocks?
- 'What stocks'? Count it.
Paper stocks, Tolya! Paper!
- You yourself said they're worthless. So we threw them away.
- Worthless? Threw away?
These stocks now cost half a million. And keep growing. You got it, you god-damn Batman?
Where're my stocks?
- But you threw them down...
- So that you bring them to me along with the money!
- Wait!
Bastards! I'm trying to tell you where the stocks are!
- That's better. Speak up, but clearly. Or else you'll lose the second kidney too.
- We... by the bar... we threw them in the trash bin.
- There you go again. You want me to believe that you dumped half a million in a trash bin?
- But we didn't know! - It's the truth. They must still be there now.
- Ok, let's have a look. Pick him up. Load this circus in the car and let's roll to their bar.
- Boss, he called us bastards.
- Then call him a bastard too, pick him up and let's move! And don't forget the dough.
- Move it!
- You bastard!
- Hands off me! I can walk without you.
- Tolya, Tolya... remember how you wanted to have a share with me.
Oh, don't squeeze like that. We'll sort it all out now.
In fact, you'd be better off with the costume of a hairy mongrel. No, I'm serious.
Whoever picked the costume for you?
- Even if it were the cops, with the microphones, they're probably gone by now.
- And what are the options? This way we at least got one chance. Right?
Urgh, these costumes drive me crazy.
- Boss, maybe we leave the dough in the car?
- The hell you do. There's enough in there for two cars like this!
- You all aright?
- Norm.
- Show us.
- Empty.
-Empty! - Indeed. Empty.
- No more trash bins around, huh? And what're you standing for? Keep looking!
Threw away, eh? Half a million?
- Boss. I'm thinking...
- What are you doing? He's thinking!
- Boss. I wanted to say.
- You've got one attempt.
- They were in the dressing-room all the time. Maybe they hid them there.
- What did they hide, thinker? Ah, you mean... So it's in the dressing-room that you hid the stocks, is it?
Hold on, you idiots.
- Hey, thugs, get the hell out of my dressing-room!
- Get rid of her.
Not in that sense! Throw her out of here!
- But we've paid our debt for the stocks already!
- You didn't get enough the last time?
You paid because this asshole tried to con me. And the stocks are mine.
I'm the one that bought them. With my hard-earned dough!
Tolya, you're dead meat. You think you can outsmart me? And you, like, get half a million?
Will you talk?
- But we returned the debt!
- Whatever we did - was only to return you the money. You're not thinking of killing us?
- Why the hell else am I here? If I need to, I kill!
Tolya, the next time I'll aim in your shoulder. The bullet gets stuck in the shoulder.
It hurts. It hurts bad.
Where are the stocks, you stupid gnat?
Who're you?
- Captain! All clear here. Where're you at?
- The dressing-room.
- Hold them back!
- Freeze! Face down! Freeze, I said! Down on your knees!
- We're the good guys!
- Down! Hands behind your head!
- Listen, this is...
- Stay down! And shut up!
- Take them to the station.
- Out of the vehicle! I shoot to kill! Get out!
- Go on! Jump!
- They've got nothing on us, right? We've kept it low and quiet, small-scale.
So we sit still, we're cool, we don't know a thing. That's all.
- Shut it. The place could be wired.
- Right. And FBI men watching behind the mirror. Tough luck there are no mirrors here.
- I see you're all dressed up.
- What are we suspected of?
- You're the leader here? Who was the one to crack Gena in front of the microphone?
Right. So let's settle things. Gas servicemen, businessmen from Austria, cinema crew, blind vagabonds,
nurses, drug squad, steel founders, Kronshtadt park workers... it's a list of sixteen positions.
And now, to top all that - clowns. I've got here a case of a serious gang of swindlers.
- And what've got to do with it? - Do we look anything like a gang?
- A pity there's no mirror here.
And no FBI men behind it.
This money-lender has got so many crimes on him that a whole department won't dig in a year.
You're lucky to be alive. And now in addition there's an attempted murder of a police captain while on duty.
With a firearm. Twenty-five years is the least this Gena is facing. You're lucky, I say.
- And what now? We're normal people. We've got friends, jobs...
- Veey wel. And what about this? Not yours either?
- No.
- It's the first time we see it.
- Then I've no further questions.
- Look!
- Hold it.
- What?
- Here's what!
- Hey, boys! Where did you get the stocks from?
- What?
- These papers, of which the planes are made. Where are they from?
- Found them in a trash bin!
- Boys, stay right there. Hang on! Where're you going? Wait! Wait!
100 thousand
A film by Michael Dubilet
Barman - Vadim Burlakov
Actor - Anton Rosickij
Journalist - Sergey Kunickij
Advertiser - Michael Dubilet
Gena the Bag - Vladimir Shumkov
Captain - Dmitry Lebedev
Inga - Yulia Irinina
and others
Script - Michael Dubilet
Director - Michael Dubilet
Director of Photography - German Ismagilov, Michael Dubilet
Sound - Sergey Loginov
Produced by Michael Dubilet