DooM 3 - Marine's Journey - Episode 12

[yawns]
Not far, huh? Should I care? I heard that!
I've gotten this far on my own. Alone!
Yeah. Alone. Kinda feelin' lonely though.
Not that I'm lacking social activities, I've come to meet lots of people here; and... things.
But they're too socially inept to interact with. Just groaning, screeching, screaming, growling, gnarling, laughing, radio chattering...
Uh, I dunno. I'm one of those embiciles who like to push buttons to see what happens.
How 'bout I activate it first, and then I'll let out whatever's left of him?
Did I mention everyone I meet is a turd in his own way? That douchebag didn't even say please!
At least he said "thank you," otherwise I'd probably throw him back into that chamber.
Maybe one of those mutated rats or spiders will stomp on the activate button and have something to watch.
Then in the afterlife, he'll be telling himself, "I should've said please."
But aside from the paintballing factor, I'm a merciful guy!
Let's hear his side of the story.
Are you serious? No idea?!
Oh! I need ammunition! How do I open this storage? Eh? Doc? Blah! Screw you! Ignorant bastards!
Disk, PDA. "Disable security lock."
Disable my ass, why don't ya?
My arsenal is now restocked with ammunition.
All right, doc. You ready to go?
You son of a bitch!
Fine! Stay here! I should throw him back into that chamber!
Actually, being stuck in that chamber was probably the bestest thing to happen to him. He survived!
But it's funny that he doesn't know a damn thing that went on. He sure wouldn't wanna hear my story!
Now I hope I don't get trapped in here! What is this room, anyway?
Am I gonna make it? Yes!
Was that really some kind of chamber, or did some amateur interior designer decide to make it a nuissance for employees to get from one aisle to the next?
Uh.
Okay.
"Rawr" to you too!
Yeah. Hurry up and get into the position...
You'd like for me to put you down in!
If doc had went the other way he would've been one door away from getting his answers!
But no! I gotta be the answer to everything! Don't I?! Freakin' spiders! Why is this place just completely crawling with them?
I'd better waste him. These spiders are MY kills! I want the world record for most kills!
No... Universal record! Just one, after another, after another, after another! It's okay. It just adds up.
Is that ALL of them? Oh wait, missed one! I'm only askin' for life-threatening danger, aren't I? I should go back and hang with doc.
I think I'll just run all the way to the other end so they don't jump out at me. And go!
Hah! It was cleared anyway. Semi cleared.
Hey! What's up? Your brains blown out, that's what!
Ah crap! Epic fail!
I would have preferred taking them both out with a bang.
Oh, let me guess... Of course!
Jesus! You know, at one point I got very annoyed with all those maggots overrunning the place.
Now it's nothin' but you three-foot, multi-legged, upside-down-headed pests!
I swear there's some kinda territorial theme goin' on.
Oh, what?
Ugh! So annoying!
By the way, are they saying "checkmate"?
Like they're playing chess? Or "checkmate" like they think they got me?
Didn't realize the dead could be so self-conceited! Little arrogant cocksuckers!
But hey, it's helping me more than it's helping any of them, so I'm not complaining.
I wouldn't call it "checkmate" until it's COMPLETELY over! Not in anticipation that it's GONNA be over!
You fools! You underestimate me!
And I think I've overestimated all of you thus far!
Uh. Right!
Who's there?! Nobo--what the?
Am I seeing things, like usual?
Not sure what's urging me to follow the bloody footprints,
But the fact they have no toes makes it NOT human!
Umm. Oh, okay! Where to? By the way, are you my imaginary friend?
Sure! Let's hurry my way to that locked door so I can embrace the sound which would be my denial of entrance!
Where we goin'?
Uh...
Aww. We can all embrace a child's laughter.
But that sounded like the laughter of a fuckin' demonic child!
The kind I fear to have with my girlfriend!
But when this is all over, I won't even know the meaning of fear.
Carry a pistol at all times and I'm good.
Tapping sound again!
Make good choices!
Who're you kiddin', Sarge? Dangerous?
I doubt any path is any safer than the others!
Dude! Really?!
Hey! Your zippers are down!
Did I hit the "Call for security" button or what?
I'm sure if I had selected the other button, maybe another large swarm of spiders
Would've came crawling in from every direction!
It's like I'm in the kind of crisis that every button I push
Tries to kill me, brings me closer to death, or delays my death!
It doesn't matter! This whole place is tryin' to kill me!
Is Sarge havin' a hell of a time, too?!
Probably not! Wanderers of hell just bypass him to come greet me every step of the way!
I've had my greetings!
Where am I even goin'? I was sure I was on Sarge's path.
I did see him and someone else not too far back.
He also didn't leave a trail of corpses.
Why is it... that I get the feeling... that just somehow Sarge might be...
Somewhat responsible... for this shit?
Psh. I'm being paranoid, aren't I?
It's not like Sarge made a pact with the devil or anything.
Can he hear what these numbnuts are saying even through they're dead?
I can't understand them.
Greetings! Outta my face! Ah! Ah! And...
Behind the shelf is cheating! Is that all of'em?
Once again, I get by unscathed! I hope Sarge is watching this!
I should definitely be eligible for a promotion at this point!
Shoot man! I might end up being the sole survivor on Mars!
But where the hell did these things come from?
NONE of these things were like anything I've had in mind as being Martians.
If these ARE the real Martians, then there's gonna be a buncha disappointed kids at home!
Especially if they heard the news that I just freakin' slaughtered every one of them!
"Daddy, do aliens exist on Mars?"
"Not anymore."
"Why not?"
"Let's say a marine brought an armaggeddon with him."
There had been evidence that some cultures and species existed here
But there were never any answers to what exactly happened.
With so many differing possibilities, I don't think anyone could've imagined that maybe these fuckin' things had somethin' to do with their disappearances!
I think I've already come to a conclusion that these are NOT Martians!
Somewhere along the line, WE were the ones that screwed up and openned up that wormhole or portal or whatever and let these things out.
Maybe the Martians gave their lives to imprison these monsters in another world before something really bad happened!
Well, SOMEBODY did this and it needs to be stopped!
That Asian guy knew about this but somehow he became possessed on my back.
Jeez. Maybe I was meant to be here! Is this fate? Is this my destiny?
What the fuck am I talkin' about?! I sound like a terrible action-figure hero from the movies!
I don't even have my own dramatic, heroic theme music!
But I've got a tune for those spiders up there! It goes like "Boom! Boom! Boom!"
Yeah! That'll teach'em!
That's a funny spot for an armor! Wha--?!
Oh, great! Another whispering voice! Should I trust this one?
It's a pretty dark, narrow hallway.
They say to never follow a man's voice.
It's almost like a pedaphile offering cotton candy from a van or pick-up truck!
Over where? It's a... Oh!
Oh, yesss! It's got "TRAP!" written all over it!
Who cares?! I want it!
LAUGHS
Shut the fuck up!
Oh, yeah! All right! Let's get this party started!
Ye-ah! How'd'ya like my glowing blue balls?!
Am I too rough?!
Aw man! Party's over already?
Well, balls to y'alls!
It's amazing how light this gun is, though! I've heard so much about it! It's awesome!
Only problem is I think it's dodgeable.
Well now here comes the after party!
I need to make a grand entry since that's how real party-do'ers like to roll!
Oops! Did I crash it? Oh well!
They were some partypoopers anyway.
Besides, what's a party without any chicks being around for the excitement?
It just can't be done! They say a party is not without chicks and booze!
While I totally disagree on the booze part, you can't dance or fuck around for hours with just guys!
I'm sure if I spend more time here, I'll bump into chicks SOMEWHERE!
I'd just prefer not to... you know... see any of'em wrapped up in spiderwebs,
Or cremated by those fiery rats!
Or taking part in any form of BDSM role play with those two-headed maggots!
Ah! What a turn off!
Checkmate! How do you like it?!
So anyhow, I think I have a new drive to wanting to bash all of hell in its face!
Even though it's nothing more than a theory, I shall avenge all of the lost cultures that once dealt with these satanic forces.
I won't allow this to go forward and reach earth!
Uh. Uh.
Holy shit that sounds like a lot of spiders down there!
Man! Just when I had my mojo up and running, they come spoil the fun!
All right! Nevermind what I said. They did their thing. I wanna do mine and get the hell back home!
No pun intended!