Vaginal Fantasy Hangout Ep. 9 "The Cthulhurotica Anthology"


Uploaded by geekandsundry on 25.09.2012

Transcript:

FELICIA DAY: Hey, everybody.
It is "Vaginal Fantasy Book Club" broadcast time.
As usual, we have everyone here.
First, we have Bonnie Burton.
BONNIE BURTON: Hello.
FELICIA DAY: We have Kiala Kazebee.
[KIALA GASPS]
KIALA KAZEBEE: You said it right.
FELICIA DAY: I know.
KIALA KAZEBEE: It's a miracle.
FELICIA DAY: And the extremely glowing Veronica Belmont.
VERONICA BELMONT: Hello.
I'm next to my wall.
FELICIA DAY: Your--
VERONICA BELMONT: My wall.
FELICIA DAY: What's next to your wall?
VERONICA BELMONT: What did we call it?
This, uh--
my divider.
FELICIA DAY: Oh.
Why do you sit over--
KIALA KAZEBEE: The Veronica Barrier.
VERONICA BELMONT: The Veronica Barrier.
I'll never be over it.
FELICIA DAY: But why are you still over there?
VERONICA BELMONT: It's because it's alphabetical.
The barrier comes before Veronica.
"Vaginal" comes before "Veronica," see?
It's alphabetical.
My first name.
FELICIA DAY: I had no idea that's how they did it.
KIALA KAZEBEE: There it is.
FELICIA DAY: Why do they do that?
VERONICA BELMONT: I'm sorry.
We're digressing already.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, I know.
Guys, it's gonna be a very unfocused hour because this
was an interesting pick this month.
But first, I have a couple of things to do.
I want to give a shout out to some local meetups.
There is a group in Austin who is watching
together, from the forums.
There is a North Central Florida group that's already
had a couple of meetings.
The Canadian "Beaver Dreams" has, uh, a meetup this month.
[BONNIE LAUGHS]
FELICIA DAY: That's what they call themselves.
It's a subgroup.
BONNIE BURTON: Wow.
FELICIA DAY: We don't control that name.
BONNIE BURTON: That's awesome.
VERONICA BELMONT: "Beaver Dreams."
FELICIA DAY: We have a Chicago meetup at the Bourgeois Pig,
at St. Louis at Shameless Grounds, and, as usual, we
have our casual hangouts on the forum led by Vicky.
If you're new to the group, this is a book club, and we
read two romance-oriented books.
We have a main book, and we discuss that book.
And sometimes we get to the alt book.
People discuss them of the "Goodreads" forum and we enjoy
them all together once a month while drinking.
Hello.
BONNIE BURTON: Cheers.
VERONICA BELMONT: Cheers.
I think I accidentally opened an expensive bottle of wine.
FELICIA DAY: Wait, why?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Ooh.
VERONICA BELMONT: No, I just mean totally accidentally.
Like, I think I just pulled an expensive
one from the cabinet.
And it looks fancy, so--
FELICIA DAY: Does it taste--
VERONICA BELMONT: --it's worth it.
FELICIA DAY: --anything like your regular?
VERONICA BELMONT: Mm-hmm.
FELICIA DAY: Oh.
Well, that's worth it.
Before we get into the book--
which is Bonnie's choice this month--
I could not decide what kind of books to pick for next
month, so we're doing a poll.
So during this hangout, if you are a member of the group, go
to the "Goodreads" forum and there's a poll there.
Vote on one of the five categories
that I put up there.
And at the very end of the hangout we'll announce who won
and what books we'll be reading next month.
And if you don't know exactly where that is, it's
bit.ly/vaginalpoll.
VERONICA BELMONT: Vagine-al poll.
Or vagina poll.
FELICIA DAY: I actually said that--
VERONICA BELMONT: That's a callback to an earlier joke
you guys didn't hear.
Sorry.
FELICIA DAY: When you look at it--
VERONICA BELMONT: Too insidery.
FELICIA DAY: -- if you read it, it says "vagine-al." I
don't know.
Bonnie, will you take this over and please describe the
book for this month and why you picked it?
BONNIE BURTON: Yes.
First of all, I want you all to appreciate my Cthulhu
tentacles that I have on my hands.
KIALA KAZEBEE: They're amazing, yeah.
FELICIA DAY: Where did you get them?
BONNIE BURTON: I got them at a toy store, but I think Archie
McPhee sells them, which is--
they sell a bunch of toys.
They're in Seattle, but they're online--
archiemcphee.com.
I got these at a paper store.
VERONICA BELMONT: Had you already--
did you own that before the book pick or did you buy them
for the show?
BONNIE BURTON: Let's do a quick run down before I
explain Cthulhu too much.
I have a Cthulhu collection, so I have, like, Cthulhu toys.
So I've got Cthulhu cowboy.

He has the little tentacles, has a little cowboy hat.
FELICIA DAY: What?
VERONICA BELMONT: Sure does.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
I'm wearing a Cthulhu necklace, which you can't
really see.
But I've got the charm, and it's like little Cthulhu.
Look how handsome he is.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Wow.
BONNIE BURTON: Look at that.
And Veronica's wearing her necklace,
her tentacle necklace.
FELICIA DAY: Kiala looks traumatized.
Kiala, what do you--
KIALA KAZEBEE: I'm traumatized by this whole thing, honestly.
BONNIE BURTON: And then--
well, don't let that stop you, because I got you guys
tentacly necklaces.
And I forgot to send them.
But this was Kiala's.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yay, it's so pretty.
FELICIA DAY: Aw.
KIALA KAZEBEE: And a mustache.
It's an awesome piece with the mustache.
BONNIE BURTON: This was Felicia's.
FELICIA DAY: Oh my god, orange is my favorite color.
BONNIE BURTON: And they have mustaches because they're
hipster octopi.
And then, for those of you who follow on the other show,
"Tabletop," there is-- they played a game called "Gloom,"
but there's "Cthulhu Gloom."
KIALA KAZEBEE: Wow.
BONNIE BURTON: So you should play "Cthulhu Gloom." So yeah,
I have a lot of Cthulhu.
I'm kind of Cthulhu'd up, as it were.
FELICIA DAY: And I know--
KIALA KAZEBEE: The fez is--
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, the fez is pretty good.
BONNIE BURTON: Oh yes, and the Cthulhu fez, which I also--
KIALA KAZEBEE: Which is cool.
BONNIE BURTON: Yes.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
So, the audience--
if you don't know already that Bonnie picked the books this
month and she picked our main book.
It's called "Cthulhurotica," and it's a short story
collection of Cthulhu-oriented short stories.
Bonnie, do you want to describe the book in a little
bit more detail?
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
It's kind of cool because it's a bunch of different writers,
as that's how anthologies run.
It's just a bunch of short stories, so if you don't like
one of the stories, you can move along to something else.
And that's--
oh, Felicia.
FELICIA DAY: What?
BONNIE BURTON: I can already tell you hate this book.
FELICIA DAY: No.
What?
Come on.
BONNIE BURTON: Yes.
FELICIA DAY: I'm drinking whiskey for the first time,
out of a tiny Cthulhu shot glass--
VERONICA BELMONT: Yay.
FELICIA DAY: --that I bought you for your birthday and
never gave you.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Wait, are you drinking whiskey too?
Because so am I.
VERONICA BELMONT: Aw, I would have drunk whiskey if I'd
known it was a theme.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]

FELICIA DAY: That's so funny, Kiala.
We always drink wine--
KIALA KAZEBEE: I know.
FELICIA DAY: --and this month, we picked whiskey.
Why?
Because tentacles are traumatic.
KIALA KAZEBEE: That's exactly why I chose it.
[LAUGHTER]
VERONICA BELMONT: Wait--
Bonnie, what are you drinking?
Bonnie, what are you drinking?
BONNIE BURTON: I am drinking moscato wine out of the giant
glass that's as big as my head.
VERONICA BELMONT: And we're drinking wine because
tentacles are romantic.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
[KIALA GROANS]
KIALA KAZEBEE: Ew, romantic.
BONNIE BURTON: Felicia, it's just more arms to hug you.
VERONICA BELMONT: Yes, later.
FELICIA DAY: Oh god.
KIALA KAZEBEE: OK.
VERONICA BELMONT: Post-coital tentacle hugs.
FELICIA DAY: No.
KIALA KAZEBEE: I didn't read about a lot of hugging.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
Cthulhu's muy a cuddle monster.

I am trying to put the "love" back in Lovecraft.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, OK.
So--
BONNIE BURTON: OK, well, anyway.
So this book--
which, by the way, if you follow them on Twitter with
the same title, "Cthulhurotica," they're
live-tweeting us right now.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, well that's cool.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: That's nerve-wracking.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: They're super excited that we read it, so I
think-- and even if you didn't like it, you're at least
tweeting that it exists.
FELICIA DAY: That's true.
No, I'm not saying I didn't totally like it.
Well, let's go down the line.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: So you discovered this book and you liked it--
I would assume you like it.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: Tell us what you thought.
BONNIE BURTON: I have a friend named Gareth Branwyn.
I'm totally mispronouncing his name because I'm already
tipsy, but he writes for "MAKE" and "Boing Boing." And
I had said earlier, in many episodes previous to this on
"Vaginal Fantasy," that I liked Cthulhu.
I had a bit of a Cthulhu crush.
And he's like, you should check out this book, and it's
a small press book of a bunch of different writers.
There's poems and there's art in it too, but it's mostly
short stories that are about three pages to six pages each
of all different time periods and all different
types of sexy time.
Some are very, very whoa.
Like, there are some descriptions.
And then there's others that's kind of like, eh, there was
some sex, but it wasn't like big time sex.
Because I'm always that person that complains in "Vaginal
Fantasy" that the sex scenes are a little bit, uh--
not all of the books, but some of the books,
they're a little vague.
FELICIA DAY: Mm-hmm.
BONNIE BURTON: And I kind of like, you know--
get in there.
FELICIA DAY: Ooh, OK.
[LAUGHTER]
BONNIE BURTON: Sorry, that was the wrong--
yeah, I shouldn't have used my hand like that.
Sorry, that was the wrong--
FELICIA DAY: Kiala's just looking down like--
I don't know if she's just trying to breathe in the
whiskey or what.
[KIALA LAUGHS]
KIALA KAZEBEE: No, I'm looking-- actually, I'm just
reminding myself of the stories that I liked and that
I didn't, you know, all the time.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]

BONNIE BURTON: OK, maybe I should explain who Cthulhu is.
FELICIA DAY: Yes, give us a little background, as people
who don't know.
Because I didn't have a lot of context for Cthulhu and all I
knew was from things at conventions, like the things
that you're showing us.
But on a deeper level, I didn't know.
BONNIE BURTON: It was weird because he's considered a
fictional cosmic entity.
You can find out about him on Wikipedia, which I'm just
gonna read from so I don't mess anything up.
He appeared in the short story called "The Call of Cthulhu,"
that was published in "Weird Tales" in 1928.
And obviously, the writer was HP Lovecraft.
Now, HP Lovecraft was kind of considered the godfather of
horror writing, like Stephen King.
A bunch of authors have always said they kind of were
inspired by him.
Tim Burton was inspired by him.
A lot of icons in horror now were inspired by HP Lovecraft,
very much like Edgar Allen Poe.
The problem with HP Lovecraft is, in real life, he was a
weirdo jerk.
So he kind of--
yeah.
He was really into the occult, but he was like super duper
homophobic and hated women.
FELICIA DAY: Mm-hmm.
BONNIE BURTON: And was kind of a mama's boy,
and he was a racist.
I don't know.
Maybe that was just the '20s.
I'm not sure, I wasn't there.
But--
[LAUGHTER]
BONNIE BURTON: Uh, yeah.
He had issues.
I don't know.
He had some sex issues-- like, he didn't have any.
[BONNIE CLEARS HER THROAT]
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
But anyway, Cthulhu's been spelled like a zillion
different times and he's used in a lot of Lovecraft stories.
Because of it, he became super, super popular--
like, with metalheads and goth kids and punk rockers and
horror fans.
So he just became--
I'm gonna say he became the Bettie Page of monsters.
VERONICA BELMONT: Hm.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Wow.
BONNIE BURTON: He was used on so many album covers and used
in so many references and lyrics and poems and TV shows.
And, you know, he's got tentacles and wings and manly
arms and legs and he's sexy.
FELICIA DAY: So--
OK.
So you--
I don't know.
I don't even know what to say about this.
Veronica, what did you think of the short stories?
Because this is the melding of that mythology with--
not romance, OK?
Let's just say there's no romance.
BONNIE BURTON: Oh, there is too.
There's some romance.
FELICIA DAY: What?
All right, let's go all down the line
before we start fighting.
Because I'm a little--
I think we're all a little bit drunk and surly tonight,
because this is--
[LAUGHTER]
BONNIE BURTON: Before we go further, because we are drunk,
and since you're drinking hard alcohol for a change--
VERONICA BELMONT: I'm not drunk yet.
God, you guys got started early tonight.
I'd better catch up.
BONNIE BURTON: I'm not drunk, but I'm just saying, because
two of us are drinking hard alcohol for a
change, there might be--
KIALA KAZEBEE: That's right, I haven't-- yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: I just want to address really quickly that I
love Felicia a lot and I think that there were moments in our
past episode where people thought we
don't like each other.
VERONICA BELMONT: What?
FELICIA DAY: Why are you reading the comments?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Bonnie, never read the comments.
FELICIA DAY: Don't read the comments.
VERONICA BELMONT: That's crazy.
FELICIA DAY: If you read the comments, I have, like, a man
face and, like--
[KIALA LAUGHS]
VERONICA BELMONT: That's OK.
Someone on the "Tabletop" episode said I was a bitch
because I hate koalas, but I don't really hate koalas.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Well, you are a bitch because you hate koalas.
VERONICA BELMONT: I don't really hate koalas.
BONNIE BURTON: Koalas can hurt you.
They could screw you up.
They've got, like, sharpened claws.
KIALA KAZEBEE: No, I will not--
VERONICA BELMONT: They look cute.
KIALA KAZEBEE: I will not hear a bad word
about koalas, my namesake.
FELICIA DAY: No.
Get out.
That's why there's a barrier there.
No, you cannot read the comments, Bonnie.
And it's one person.
Somebody the other day said I need to learn how to do
makeup, because I look like Cruella de Vil.
BONNIE BURTON: What?
What?
VERONICA BELMONT: Internet!
Um, OK.
First up, let me just--
BONNIE BURTON: I just want to say I'm not gonna judge any of
you if you didn't like this book, but I--
there were stories in it that I was like,
whoa, that's not cool.
FELICIA DAY: Well, we're gonna get-- we're
gonna get into that.
We're gonna go down the list of our favorites.
VERONICA BELMONT: We'll talk about this.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
OK.
VERONICA BELMONT: Come to this side of the barrier for a
moment and let me tell you.
One thing--
I promise I'll stop talking about the barrier.
It's in my head now.
So, the chat room is going to explode if you don't tell them
where we got the necklaces from, Bonnie.
FELICIA DAY: Oh.
BONNIE BURTON: Oh yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: The ones that I am wearing.
These ones.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah, and it's cool because they do-- they're
called "Unpossible Cuts" and they're on Etsy.
They're a laser cutter jewelry store and they do
all kinds of stuff.
Like, I've got "Star Wars" stuff from
them, I have a TARDIS.
I have all different kinds of-- they do dinosaur
necklaces, they do--
FELICIA DAY: Oh, that's cute.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah, they do all kinds of
symbols and stuff that--
they're very geeky, so there's some very cool
geek chic girl stuff.
I actually give those out as presents to all my geek
girlfriends, because there's so many cool stuff and they're
really affordable.
So that's where I got the necklaces.
VERONICA BELMONT: That's awesome.
BONNIE BURTON: And they're at most conventions, too.
So check them out.
VERONICA BELMONT: So, getting back to the book.
Yes, I did--
I loved the book.
I thought it was fantastic--
BONNIE BURTON: Yay!
VERONICA BELMONT: --for a few different reasons.
One, it was so different from all the
other stuff we've read.
Two, I liked the short story element of it.
I love short story collections in general, just because I
like the variety that they kind of give.
And there were so much difference between each story.
The first story just grabbed me so much because it was so
dark and so sexual and there was so much tension and fear
that I was like, wow, this is gonna be a totally different
kind of book from anything we've read.
And each story, they had different kinds of scary
moments, they had different kinds of sexy moments.
The writing styles were completely different.
I thought that kept it very interesting.
And also, the writing was all really good, which I
appreciated as well.
There was a higher level, I think, of proficiency in the
writing in these short stories than probably most of the
other books that we've read so far.
So I thought that was, you know-- with the exception,
maybe, of Jacqueline Carey.
So I just thought--
I can see Felicia's poop face.
She is making a doody face at me right now.
She is.
FELICIA DAY: I'm wearing sparkles.
I'm wearing sparkles.
I love sparkles.
VERONICA BELMONT: But anyway, I liked it.
There were some stories I enjoyed much more than others,
which we can talk about a little bit later.
I did pick out a few of my favorites.
And I liked the essays, too.
I thought that was really cool.
I loved the kind of break down of why this is so popular in
pop culture these days and why it has taken such a hold on
people's imaginations.
I thought that was fascinating.
FELICIA DAY: Good.
Kiala?
Do you want to go next?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah.
I actually--
I really enjoyed it.
I was disturbed, but I enjoyed being disturbed.
I haven't read horror in a long time.
It's funny, because I just did this live storytelling event.
It was--
we'll talk about that for a second.
I just did that, and I was talking about how I was
reading horror all through high school,
and then I just stopped.
I haven't read any.
And I never read any Lovecraft.
And so, this was really interesting, to go into that
world, that Cthulhu world.
And then I also liked that there was so much--

their sexuality was really fluid in--
not every story, but in lot of the stories.
Much more so than in anything we've read.
I really liked that.
Yeah, I really enjoyed it, even though I was scared and
grossed out sometimes.
BONNIE BURTON: Yay.
FELICIA DAY: Um, OK.
I did not hate it, Bonnie.
BONNIE BURTON: OK.
FELICIA DAY: I just want to go on record.
OK, here's the deal--
I don't watch any horror films.
I don't think I've ever seen more than three
of them in my life.
I had to leave "Babe--
Pig in the City" and "Godzilla"--
the new one-- because I was crying hysterically.
So--
BONNIE BURTON: Wait, were they bored?
FELICIA DAY: Those are horror shows to me,
because Babe was in danger.
BONNIE BURTON: Wait--
VERONICA BELMONT: Aw.
BONNIE BURTON: Wait, wait, wait.
I want to back up a minute, because in one of your
episodes of "The Flog," you said that "Babe" was your
favorite movie.
FELICIA DAY: "Babe" was my favorite movie.
The sequel was horrifying.
And if nobody believes--
BONNIE BURTON: Oh, "Babe 2."
FELICIA DAY: Have you seen both of them?
KIALA KAZEBEE: No.
I I've seen neither of them.
FELICIA DAY: What?
VERONICA BELMONT: Of the "Babe" movies?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Well, I think I was afraid that the pig would
get killed.
I'm afraid to watch animal movies in general.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah, me too.
FELICIA DAY: No, me too.
But that's what I'm saying. "Babe" is--
yeah, go Bonnie.
BONNIE BURTON: How did Babe remember all his lines?
How did the pig memorize that stuff?
No, I'm kidding.
FELICIA DAY: "Babe" is the best movie ever made.
I could cry just singing the theme song.
But the sequel is much more adult--
oh, Veronica.
We need to go singing together.
VERONICA BELMONT: You have to sing it.
BONNIE BURTON: That's your karaoke song, isn't it?
FELICIA DAY: I can't.
I don't think it's legal for me to sing it, but I'll do it.
I'll croon it to you next time I see you.
VERONICA BELMONT: OK.
FELICIA DAY: But anyway, "Babe--
Pig in the City" was a much more adult film.
There's a fire and all the animals are
running and I was sobbing.
I had to leave.
BONNIE BURTON: What?
FELICIA DAY: There's a fire, everybody's in danger.
BONNIE BURTON: It's like an apocalyptic pig movie.
FELICIA DAY: It was directed by the guy who did "Mad Max,"
I believe, so.
BONNIE BURTON: What?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Really?
FELICIA DAY: I'm not sure.
That might not be true.
BONNIE BURTON: I have to say, now you're selling this to me,
because I don't like the pig movie.
Now that I know it's like a "Mad Max" pig apocalyptic
movie, I'm totally watching that.
FELICIA DAY: All right.
Well, good.
And then we'll get together and then we can talk.
We can compare notes.
BONNIE BURTON: I'm sorry, Felicia.
And you didn't like "Godzilla?" It was
too scary for you?
FELICIA DAY: Well, in the new Peter Jackson one, when
they're capturing Godzilla, I started--
BONNIE BURTON: That's "King Kong."
FELICIA DAY: --crying hysterically.
BONNIE BURTON: That's "King Kong."
KIALA KAZEBEE: Me too.
Me too.
FELICIA DAY: You did?
VERONICA BELMONT: Yeah.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh yeah.
I was just sobbing.
Oh, that poor--
BONNIE BURTON: That's "King Kong."
KIALA KAZEBEE: --lizard.
BONNIE BURTON: That's not "Godzilla." "King Kong."
FELICIA DAY: Oh, right.
VERONICA BELMONT: It was "King Kong."
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh, you're right. "King Kong."
FELICIA DAY: Oh, it was "King Kong." Oh yeah, I'm sorry.
BONNIE BURTON: This is Godzilla.
See this face?
FELICIA DAY: It's whiskey in my mouth.
I'm sorry.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah, I don't--

well, whatever.
The big giant thing that was attacking the city was dying
and we were crying.
FELICIA DAY: It was "King Kong." I was so traumatized, I
couldn't remember what it looked like.
OK, anyway--
KIALA KAZEBEE: I went with it.
I agreed with you, because I thought
that's what was happening.
FELICIA DAY: It was a horrifying scene, whatever
movie it was, whenever it was.
OK, so basically, I don't like any of that and I was just so
grossed out.
I tried to read this book and I had to put it down for,
like, 2 and 1/2 weeks.
And then I'd read a little bit and I'd be like,
oh, I can't do it.
It was just-- guys, tentacles.
BONNIE BURTON: Like, all of it?
VERONICA BELMONT: It was so dark.
I loved it.
FELICIA DAY: It was scary.
And it was so traumatic-- like, all the
sexuality was so gross.
It was all--
there was no romance or like genuine love there.
That was what it was.
It was all very twisted and dark.
I enjoyed it, in that I appreciated the writing and I
thought it was really well-written.
There are a couple of stories I did enjoy a lot, but
overall, the experience--
I just felt icky and it was hard for me to read, just
because it's so foreign to me and I don't like horror films
or tentacles anywhere.
BONNIE BURTON: Oh.
But wait a minute-- you did that episode of "Tabletop" and
you were all, "Tentacle party, tentacle time."
FELICIA DAY: But that was lighthearted.
Were there any tentacle parties like as, hey--
like one of those blower things and confetti?
That's what I think of when I think of--
BONNIE BURTON: We were playing Elder Gods.
That's Cthulhu.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
I mean, I'm saying you picked well, and a lot of people the
forums agree that they thought it was really interesting and
well-written.
VERONICA BELMONT: So the question is--
BONNIE BURTON: I didn't want to scare you.
I'm cool with grossing you out, but I didn't
want to scare you.
FELICIA DAY: No, it's cool.
VERONICA BELMONT: My question is, does all sexuality have to
be love-based?
Does it all have to be romantic, or can something
still be hot but not romantic?
Can it be scary and hot?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yes.
VERONICA BELMONT: Is that OK?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yes.
No.
VERONICA BELMONT: Or can it only be romance-based?
FELICIA DAY: I don't know.
I think we have a parting of minds.
Because I realized, actually, reading this, that I read
romance books not for the naughty parts, necessarily,
but I like the journey of two people who find each other and
learn things about each other.
So that's why I like romance.
And I guess I went into this with more open eyes, but it's
not why I read escapist fiction necessarily.
BONNIE BURTON: That's a fair point.
VERONICA BELMONT: I find it even more escapist this way.
BONNIE BURTON: It's like a lot of people go to see horror
films because they like that thrill.
They like to be scared.
Kind of like a roller coaster, right?
Where you know you're not gonna die at the end of the
roller coaster--
unless you're at Knott's Berry Farm and you're just sitting
up there for two hours.
You're not gonna die.
So when you go see horror films, you know you're gonna
be scared, but you're safe watching, because you're not
in the movie.
So that's kind of like horror fiction--
it scares you and makes you think, but you're still safe
on your couch reading.
That's kind of how I view horror stuff.
But you know what?
There are a lot of people out there that can't watch horror.
You're not alone.
I mean, that's just my thing.
I love horror.
I actually read a lot of horror, more than I read
sci-fi, fantasy, and romance, just because
that's what I like.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
Veronica, you said--
so you thought this is like more titillating?

VERONICA BELMONT: It's more lusty, I guess-- in the vein
of lust than romance, in a way.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
No, I got you.
VERONICA BELMONT: It doesn't necessarily have to be
romanticized sexuality.
I think there's other kinds, too.
FELICIA DAY: No, you're right.
And that's why--
I don't normally read that stuff like that, so I was
really taken aback.
We had a couple of questions about what stories--
did we have any stories that particularly stood out as your
favorite or your scariest or the grossest?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Uh-oh.
FELICIA DAY: What just happened?

VERONICA BELMONT: I think she lost audio for a second.
KIALA KAZEBEE: I did.
I lost my earphones when I--
I pulled them out with my book.
Cthulhu pulled out my earphones.
FELICIA DAY: You're really serious, Kiala.
It's like a test.
I feel like you you feel like you're being tested for this.
BONNIE BURTON: I will say--
FELICIA DAY: So serious.
KIALA KAZEBEE: It's a collection of short stories,
so it's hard to--
VERONICA BELMONT: Let's let Kiala go first then.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, Kiala go first.
KIALA KAZEBEE: What?
VERONICA BELMONT: Tell us your faves.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, tell us your faves so you'll get it
off your chest and can drink your whiskey
a little bit more.

KIALA KAZEBEE: I really liked the Mars one.
I loved the island one, where you never--
the guy was on the island, and--
Vic, yeah.
And you never figured out what he did.
The hippie one was really annoying, but I still kind of
enjoyed reading it.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, it was so annoying.
That one was not my favorite.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: I'm not a big fan of hippie fiction.
VERONICA BELMONT: In general.

KIALA KAZEBEE: I really liked the one with--
oh, the one with all the Greek mythos in it.
FELICIA DAY: Oh yeah.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Where Askamagades or whatever and
Scylla, and she had all the hairy mouths.
FELICIA DAY: That was "Between a Rock and the
Elder Goddess," right?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yes.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, that was--
I agree.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah, I really liked that one.
I think those were all my favorites.
BONNIE BURTON: Cool.
FELICIA DAY: What about you, Bonnie?
Which one was your favorite?
BONNIE BURTON: I have to say, I loved "The Cry in the
Darkness," only because--
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh, I picked that one, too.
BONNIE BURTON: It was from the husband's point of view--
KIALA KAZEBEE: Which one was that?
BONNIE BURTON: And the reason I loved the story is because
he's following his wife because she's sleepwalking--
he thinks.
He keeps hearing these weird sounds--
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh, right.
BONNIE BURTON: And she always comes back to bed with muddy
feet and a dirty nightgown and a big grin on her face.
And I was like, clearly, she's cheating on you
with Cthulhu, dude.
Like, get a clue.
But he's so old school that he's like, I have to protect
her and walk after her and see what's going on.
It's so funny, because it's from his point of view, so you
feel like she's in this mortal danger.
But if you're a chick reading this, you're like, no, she's
just gettin' it where she can get it, because you're not
doing the deed right.
And she's happy where she went.
VERONICA BELMONT: The visuals were super intense, too.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: The mental imagery.
BONNIE BURTON: It was very much written in a
Lovecraftian style.
If you read and of Lovecraft's stuff, he's very, very verbose
and a lot of words and a lot of just description.
It's actually kind of hard to read his stuff, if you're not
used to it.
Kind of like when you read Shakespeare, you have to kind
of get into it.
After a few plays--
it takes a while, unless you're really into it already.

I just thought it was funny because he's clearly horrified
and she's clearly satisfied.

I just thought it was funny.
And the fact that he's like, she had weird
liquid on her stomach.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, that was gross.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, no.
Gah.
VERONICA BELMONT: That was pretty gross.
BONNIE BURTON: And how does the guy not know what that is?
That's like, hello?
FELICIA DAY: Oh god.
BONNIE BURTON: Oh sorry.
FELICIA DAY: But it was written in the most Gothic
style, I thought, that one.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: Which was really interesting.
That was the most authentic sort of Lovecraft story.
And it was almost, like, kind of
Hawthorne, Nathaniel Hawthorne.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: Sort of very Gothic, old school, the style
of that one.
BONNIE BURTON: I also liked--
what's the name of it?
It's the one where she's--
it's a very, very short story, and it's the one-- oh.
I hate the title.
FELICIA DAY: What is it?
BONNIE BURTON: "Daddy's Girl."
KIALA KAZEBEE: What is it?
Oh.
FELICIA DAY: Oh.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh.
That was interesting.
That was the one that I kind of wanted to read more about.
BONNIE BURTON: I know.
I wanted more.
VERONICA BELMONT: I wished that was longer.
BONNIE BURTON: It was so short and it was just like she's
training this Cthulhu-type character.
It almost reminded me, honestly, a little bit of
"Kushiel's Dart." because clearly they're training these
Cthulhus to be sex slaves for parties.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: That, and then they have to use humans as
test subjects to train them to be sexually whatever.
And it was just so funny because the girl was like--
she basically got her dad's assistant, who was kind of
uppity and bitchy to be the test subject.
But it was just--
I mean, it was kind of gross.
I mean, they were like--
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, it was gross.
There was-- ew, those tentacles.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah, it was pretty gross.
FELICIA DAY: It was pretty gross.
That was one of the grossest ones, to me.
What about you, Veronica?
KIALA KAZEBEE: They were all pretty gross.
VERONICA BELMONT: Veronica agrees.
BONNIE BURTON: Veronica better go.
I feel like I'm losing cred.
FELICIA DAY: No, no, no.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, why?
No.
All right.
So, as you mentioned, the one which was "The Cry in the
Darkness" was one of my favorites as well.
The one that probably screwed me up the most was "The
Fishwives of Sean Brolly."
FELICIA DAY: Oh!
Oh, that was the worst.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh, the fishwives.
VERONICA BELMONT: It screwed me up because that was really
the one where it pulled me into the story and then
suddenly you're like, what the--
what?
Like, we had gotten a little desensitized, I
think, by that point.
FELICIA DAY: Yes.
VERONICA BELMONT: You kind of expect the tentacles, you kind
of expect, you know, the women going to the
Cthulhu in the nighttime.
But then all of a sudden you get this one, you're like,
what did he-- he just did what now with his-- on the--
what?
So that was a little terrifying.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: That was--
VERONICA BELMONT: We're allowed to
say spoilers, right?
I mean, we--
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, what is this?
What is that thing?
VERONICA BELMONT: What is happening?
What is happening?
Oh.
Aw, tentacle party.
Inappropriate tentacle party.
KIALA KAZEBEE: It's so perdy.
BONNIE BURTON: I think they animated--

FELICIA DAY: Oh boy.
VERONICA BELMONT: But yeah, he straight up killed his wife,
and that was pretty--
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: Pretty messed up.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
I mean, there's disturbing stuff in here, for sure.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: Yeah.
So that one was-- that was kind of scary.
I also liked, let's see-- oh.
Also, I guess I picked two of the most screwed-up ones that
had to do with dudes, and I wonder why?
The fish eater one--
"Amid Disquieting Dreams."
BONNIE BURTON: Oh yeah!
FELICIA DAY: Oh, yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: With the, like--
BONNIE BURTON: That one was weird.
VERONICA BELMONT: That was weird.
BONNIE BURTON: It was, wasn't it?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Which one was that?
VERONICA BELMONT: With the fish eater guys with the big
staffs and they were like peeling back the fish and
eating them while they made him do all
this messed up stuff.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh, yeah.
This is your fish eater and-- yeah, I know what you're
talking about.
FELICIA DAY: I skipped over that one.
I had to skim it, yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: How come-- what made you
decide to skip it?
FELICIA DAY: It was just--
the imagery of it was really disturbing to me.
It was the same thing as "The Fishwives." Like, I actually
started skimming that one just when he started describing the
fishwives as these kind of bloated underbelly, oozy women
who he's attracted to.
It was the most traumatic--
yeah, it was very traumatic for me.
KIALA KAZEBEE: It was this describe the smells--
VERONICA BELMONT: But don't you think it's so intriguing?
KIALA KAZEBEE: There's a lot of describing of smells in
these stories.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: I always think it's so--
I think what gets me about these stories is it's so
intriguing.
What kind of dark powers make these people go so crazy and,
like, bloodlusty, in a way?
That's not the right word, because I know what bloodlust
actually means, but it felt right to say at the time.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah, it's like they can't control
the urges in a way.
It's almost like you're under a spell.
It kind of reminded me--
I know this isn't really a fair parallel, but kind of
like with "Bram Stoker"-- you remember the movie version of
"Bram Stoker's Dracula," with Winona Ryder?
Remember?
It implies in that that they can't control themselves and
they go out to have sex with Dracula when he's in werewolf
form, because he shapeshifts in many different forms.
And they can't control it.
It's kind of like that lure to the vampire, where you can't
control yourself.
You kind of know what's happening, but you're so
driven by lust.
I almost feel like that's the same--
at least in this book.
Not in Lovecraft's books.
In Lovecraft's books, there's no sexy times like this.
That's why this book exists, is because Lovecraft didn't
have any sexy times, because he didn't have any sexy times
in real life.
So I don't think he'd know how to write about it.
So in this book, I feel like it's that weird draw where you
can't control yourself and are drawn to this creature.
It's not like they have this predisposition towards being
attracted to tentacles, it's just--
FELICIA DAY: The power, yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: Right.
It draws them in somehow.
FELICIA DAY: I thought-- one of my favorite ones was "The
C-Word," which was kind of like--
BONNIE BURTON: Really?
FELICIA DAY: It was kind of the indie version-- it was
that indie movie with a touch of Lovecraft.
Where there was the older woman and the guy who--
they kept being together, but she was getting older and
tried to push him away a little bit.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh yeah.
FELICIA DAY: She made a deal.
VERONICA BELMONT: That was kind of romantic.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, that was the one with romance in it,
because she--
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
BONNIE BURTON: I liked that.
I had a feeling you would like that, because I dub that the
"Harold and Maude" of Cthulhu romance.
VERONICA BELMONT: What?
Oh, that's adorable.
That's adorable.
BONNIE BURTON: And I'm like, I have to believe Felicia's
gonna like this, because they cuddle and everything.
FELICIA DAY: Yes.
Yes, thank you.
Where's the cuddling with the tentacles?
No, there's none.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
KIALA KAZEBEE: The Mars one was romantic too.
I mean, in that he found his soulmates or whatever.
Or she did.
She found her soulmates.
BONNIE BURTON: I liked "The C-Word" one, too, just because
it didn't have any tentacle sex or anything, which is
probably one of the reasons you liked it.
But I also liked it because he made a mistake and said, "You
turned me from a prince to a frog," and I'm think he meant
to say the other way, you turned me
from a frog to a prince.
And because he said that, she like freaked out a little.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: Because of the whole
amphibian, Cthulhu thing.
I thought that was really sweet that she just dropped
her fork and was like, what?
It was sweet.
FELICIA DAY: I thought the writing was really good.
I mean, there was--
none of the stories to me were not well-written.
In fact, some of them just felt a little short.
They could have gone on longer.
But it's just a tone of something I'm not used to
reading, so it was kind of--
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: And then there was one other one that I
thought was crazy traumatic.
What was it called?
"The Infernal Attractors," where the guy had the piece of
machinery and the girl was just going crazy--
VERONICA BELMONT: Yeah.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh yeah.
FELICIA DAY: --and everything.
Ugh.
BONNIE BURTON: That was weird, too, because I had to read
that three different times to visualize it properly.
Because the first time I read it, I thought it was just a
sex machine.
VERONICA BELMONT: Yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: You know what I mean?
Like one of those weird,
contraption, robot sexy things.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Sex trap.
And I couldn't figure out what, at the end, you know--
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
KIALA KAZEBEE: What it was that he saw above him.
Was it that he was in love with the girl, but
that was his demon?
BONNIE BURTON: He got his own demony thing.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah, but his demon was that he was--
VERONICA BELMONT: Cthulhu on his shoulder.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Right, right.
OK.
BONNIE BURTON: He got a Cthulhu on
his back, as it were.
I know, I thought that was weird.
It felt like-- it almost felt sci-fi instead of horror.
Like it felt like some sort of Barbarella sex machine slash
William Gibson erotica thing.
FELICIA DAY: Which I thought was kind of interesting too.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah, I didn't get horror from that.
KIALA KAZEBEE: I've been watching--
BONNIE BURTON: I got sci-fi.
KIALA KAZEBEE: I've been watching this last season of
"Fringe," too--
re-watching it--
and it reminded me of the thing they put Peter in.
They put Peter Bishop in the machine.
BONNIE BURTON: Totally.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah, probably.
BONNIE BURTON: Probably that was a sex machine.
That would be a whole other kind of fringe.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Uh-huh.
Well, it does create a hole.
It creates some kind of hole, so.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh?
FELICIA DAY: Oh boy.
Karen on the forums asked, "Would any of these short
stories translate into a movie?" Do you guys think any
of them would?
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: I kind of thought that "The Assistant from
Innsbrook," which was where the guy goes to evaluate the
estate of somebody who died, and then this beautiful woman
comes to try to help him.
They're evaluating all these old relics and everything, and
it turns out that she's a monster, and he gets sucked
into this cult ritual thing.
I thought that was kind of an interesting
story arc between them.
BONNIE BURTON: I like that.
I could see that as the movie.
I could see that as a TV show even.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
BONNIE BURTON: Go ahead.
VERONICA BELMONT: You go ahead.
FELICIA DAY: Veronica, go.
VERONICA BELMONT: OK.
I think that "Flash Frame" would make
an interesting movie.
That was--
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh, was that the Indian one?
Is that the--
VERONICA BELMONT: No.
KIALA KAZEBEE: No?
OK.
VERONICA BELMONT: This is the one where the journalist
living in Mexico City, who goes to the movie theater and
sees the film and it has these flash frames--
FELICIA DAY: Oh yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: --of the weird orgy kind of scenes.
I'm still not really 100% positive if it's a female or
male protagonist in that story.
I think it's a guy.
FELICIA DAY: I think it's a guy, too.
It's the girl in yellow, which is basically my room.
And that was a terrifying one, because it was more
psychological versus just tentacles assaulting you.
That one was more like, you watch this movie and then you
suddenly get all these nightmares.
VERONICA BELMONT: "The sound is yellow."
That's the first line.
Yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: That was pretty weird.
BONNIE BURTON: I thought that would be a great movie.
And you know what's sad?
I'm a huge-- this isn't what's sad.
This is actually cool.
I'm a horror film fan, but what's sad is there's not very
many Cthulhu movies out there.
In fact, there's very, very few, and the ones that are out
there are either comedy, "American Pie" type horror
things, where it's just bro movies that are just bad.
VERONICA BELMONT: Really?
BONNIE BURTON: Or just do references to Cthulhu, but
it's not a full Cthulhu movie.
And there's HP Lovecraft movies, where it's about him
or he's fictionalized in a way.
But it breaks my heart that there's not any decent-- like,
I would love Guillermo del Toro to do a Cthulhu movie.
I would love even any indie movie directors to do one.
Gareth Edwards, who did "Monster," who's doing the new
"Godzilla" movie.
I think he would--
FELICIA DAY: Oh, I love that movie.
Did you guys see that? "Monsters?"
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah, it was such a great, pretty movie.
KIALA KAZEBEE: I saw it.
BONNIE BURTON: And it was a low budget, indie, horror,
monster film, but the monster is so--
it's such a great reveal at the end, and so
it's a moving movie.
It's not horror--
there's times when it's a lot of
tension, but it's a romance.
KIALA KAZEBEE: I actually got irritated with that movie.
BONNIE BURTON: Really?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah.
I was irritated by that couple.
It was just, like, I wanted them to die.
I needed more monsters and less of that couple.
BONNIE BURTON: I love you, Kiala.
That's awesome.

I know, I'm kind of like that with most monster movies.
Like "The Host," which is a great Korean horror film.
If you haven't seen it, please do, because the first 20
minutes of "The Host" is probably one of the best
sequences in a monster film.
But the main characters, the humans, I
always get annoyed with.
I'm the same way with all Godzilla
movies and Gamera movies--
all of those movies.
I want all the humans to-- gah, the humans are
irritating.
KIALA KAZEBEE: You want Penny to die?
VERONICA BELMONT: The thing is, I don't watch any horror
movies, so I'm confused about why I like this book so much.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh really?
FELICIA DAY: Do you not like horror films?
VERONICA BELMONT: I hate horror movies.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, I'm the same.
BONNIE BURTON: Well, there's a difference between horror
films and monster films, because a lot of the monster
films aren't really horror.
Because to me, the scariest horror films, that actually I
have a hard time watching, are the ones that are about serial
killers or based on true stories.
I don't want to know about the evil in humans.
I want to know about evil that doesn't exist.
So to me, I like anything that's not related to a real
life slasher.
I can't watch slasher films.
I have a hard time with exorcism-type films, just
because I was raised Catholic.
So I actually--
FELICIA DAY: What about you, Kiala?
KIALA KAZEBEE: I like to watch all horror movies.
I love all of them.
FELICIA DAY: You watch them all?
That so weird, then.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah, I love horror movies.
BONNIE BURTON: That's awesome.
KIALA KAZEBEE: They're just like candy for me.
VERONICA BELMONT: Ugh.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: I can't think of a worse way to spend
an hour and a half to two hours.
FELICIA DAY: Me neither.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh!
BONNIE BURTON: Really?
VERONICA BELMONT: Frickin' ugh.
KIALA KAZEBEE: I even watched those "Human Centipede"
movies, which wasn't--
[FELICIA GASPS]
VERONICA BELMONT: No way.
VERONICA BELMONT: Kiala!
That is so weird to me.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Really?
VERONICA BELMONT: I like scary books, but I
can't do scary movies.
KIALA KAZEBEE: I've always loved horror movies, since I
was little.
I've just--
BONNIE BURTON: That's awesome.
KIALA KAZEBEE: They're my favorite.
FELICIA DAY: My mom let me watch "A Nightmare on Elm
Street" when I was like seven, and I
swear, for like a decade--
KIALA KAZEBEE: That's a bad idea.
FELICIA DAY: Yes.
BONNIE BURTON: That's scary.
FELICIA DAY: I think maybe I just watched too many scary
movies underage.
My mom took me to "Aliens"--
VERONICA BELMONT: I think that's what
happened to me, too.
FELICIA DAY: Yes!
KIALA KAZEBEE: No, but I did that.
I did that.
I had cable in my room--
I don't know, single mom, she let me--
and I watched "Nightmare on Elm Street" and I was like
nine and it was on HBO and I had to stay awake and watch
whatever that show they had on HBO.
It was about sports--
it was like a sports show.
Not "Sports Night," but like that.
Anyways, I had to watch like nine episodes after that,
until, like, 4:00 in the morning, because I couldn't
move or go to sleep.
I was so terrified.
BONNIE BURTON: Hey, Kiala?
Kiala, you might be too young to remember this, because I
think I'm the oldest in this group, but do you remember
"Night Fright?"
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah.
"Fright Night."
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
"Night Fright" was great and--
KIALA KAZEBEE: "Night Fright" or "Fright Night?"
BONNIE BURTON: And then you had all these great-- and this
was in the '80s, which is weird.
In the '80s and the early '90s, there were a lot of late
night horror shows, like "Creepshow"--
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah, I watched all of those.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah, "Fright Night" and--
not "Fright Night," though "Fright Night" was funny.
VERONICA BELMONT: Was "Tales from the Crypt" one?
Was that real?
FELICIA DAY: Oh, I remember that, when I was a kid. "Tales
from the Crypt."
VERONICA BELMONT: I don't even believe--
FELICIA DAY: But that was like a puppet.
VERONICA BELMONT: --that was actually scary.
That was, like, fake-- was that fake scary, or was that
real scary?
FELICIA DAY: It was fake scary.
KIALA KAZEBEE: It was scary, though.
There were some scary ones.
BONNIE BURTON: The puppet was the host, but then you'd have
actual, real-- but you know what?
A lot of people got their start on that show.
It's funny, because I watched--
I got the DVD box set and it's funny, because, like, Ewan
McGregor's in an episode and--
KIALA KAZEBEE: Really?
BONNIE BURTON: --all these cool--
KIALA KAZEBEE: Is he naked?
Because he's always naked.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
Well, he was nakedish.
FELICIA DAY: Remember when Harvey
Keitel always got naked?
Always.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah, why did he do that?
FELICIA DAY: Sorry.
BONNIE BURTON: Jesus, talk about horror.
VERONICA BELMONT: I liked "Goosebumps" and "Are You
Afraid of the Dark" and--
KIALA KAZEBEE: I did, too.
Yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: Or as we're supposed to say now,
"Gersberms."
BONNIE BURTON: "Gersberms?"
VERONICA BELMONT: Berks.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
VERONICA BELMONT: Like, "Ermahgerd, 'Gersberms.'"
BONNIE BURTON: So I mean, I honestly--
VERONICA BELMONT: "Ermahgerd, you guys.
'Gersberms.'" [LAUGHTER]
VERONICA BELMONT: "Ermahgerd,
'Gersberms!'" [LAUGHTER]
VERONICA BELMONT: "Ermahgerd!"
FELICIA DAY: I'm so annoyed.
KIALA KAZEBEE: "Ermahgerd, 'Gersberms.'"
VERONICA BELMONT:
"'Gersberms!'" [LAUGHTER]
BONNIE BURTON: Oh my god.
This is awesome.
That has to be an animated GIF at some point, swear to god.
[LAUGHTER]
BONNIE BURTON: I'm just gonna say that if you read horror,
there's usually sex scenes in most horror books.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
But if you watch "Cabin in the Woods"--
which is the only horror film I've watched in the last,
probably, eight years--
that was a great movie, because everything was--
KIALA KAZEBEE: It was so good.
Sorry.
FELICIA DAY: Everything was kind of a play on all the
tropes of that, so it was really clever.
So anything that was in it-- did you not
like that movie, Veronica?
VERONICA BELMONT: I didn't see that.
FELICIA DAY: It's not even scary.
VERONICA BELMONT: I literally have not
watched a scary movie.
The scariest--
BONNIE BURTON: You'll love it.
VERONICA BELMONT: --movie I've probably watched in the past
10 years was, like--
I don't even know, you guys.
Like, "Transformers." Like, I don't know.
[LAUGHTER]
VERONICA BELMONT: I passed out during "District
9." I passed out--
FELICIA DAY: Oh, yeah.
I remember you told me that.
VERONICA BELMONT: --in the movie theater.
Blurp.
BONNIE BURTON: Why?
VERONICA BELMONT: And I wasn't even scared.
I was excited to see that movie.
And then the gross stuff with the fingernails started
happening and I was like, I don't feel so good.
BONNIE BURTON: What gross stuff?
There's fingernails in "Transformers?"
FELICIA DAY: No!
KIALA KAZEBEE: No!
VERONICA BELMONT: No!
"District 9."
FELICIA DAY: "District 9."
BONNIE BURTON: Oh!
VERONICA BELMONT: I was joking about
"Transformers." I was joking.
BONNIE BURTON: Oh.
VERONICA BELMONT: That was a joke.
BONNIE BURTON: I have to say, though--
VERONICA BELMONT: Yeah, I don't do scary movies.
Sorry.
BONNIE BURTON: I really did love "Cabin in the Woods," but
I'm kind of pissed off at Joss Whedon.
FELICIA DAY: Why?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Uh-oh.
BONNIE BURTON: Because Felicia--
VERONICA BELMONT: Don't spoil it.
BONNIE BURTON: --wasn't in that movie.
FELICIA DAY: The what?
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh.
BONNIE BURTON: Felicia!
VERONICA BELMONT: You should have been in that movie.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh.
BONNIE BURTON: You should have been in that movie.
FELICIA DAY: I can't be in everything that
everybody I know does.
VERONICA BELMONT: Be in all the things.
All the things.
BONNIE BURTON: No, but you can be in every Whedon thing.
FELICIA DAY: No, that's rude.
I've been in just enough.
Just enough.
OK, so does anybody want--
VERONICA BELMONT: Dinosaurs?
FELICIA DAY: --to say anything else about this book?
Because we're gonna move on to our alt book.
BONNIE BURTON: Yes, I do want to say
something really quickly.
You can follow Cthulhurotica--
it's Cthulhurotica on Twitter.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Cthulhurotica.
BONNIE BURTON: They're really fun to follow because--
they've been live tweeting this whole thing that we've
been doing.
FELICIA DAY: I know, I've been checking the hashtag.
They've been digging all the salient
points, which is great.
BONNIE BURTON: Right.
I feel sad because I missed their deadline, but they have
a second book that's coming out.
They did a call to writers, I think couple weeks ago.
But they have a second book, so if you liked this one or if
you haven't read it yet or you can't find it-- it's on
Amazon, but they're also selling it on their website,
on the Cthulhurotica website-- but they have a second book
coming out, too.
So check it out if you liked book one.
FELICIA DAY: Awesome.
And it's cool, because it's an independent publisher.
So we're supporting this independent publisher, so--
VERONICA BELMONT: Yay!
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yay.
FELICIA DAY: Is everybody voting on
the "Goodreads" poll?
Remember that at "Goodreads" we're voting during the hour,
and I'm gonna pick whatever category you guys vote on by
the end, and I will announce the books for next month.
So you guys are choosing the category.
There are five different categories--
vampires, werewolves, demons, fantasy, or angels and gods.

And another bit.ly link I would like you click on,
because we're moving to our next book, is
bit.ly/eternalpleasure, because "Eternal Pleasure" is
our alt book this month--
BONNIE BURTON: Wait a second, I dressed up for that.
FELICIA DAY: You're dressing up for it?
BONNIE BURTON: I have to say, this is the first time I've
ever done a "Vaginal Fantasy" Cthulhu--
a "Vaginal Fantasy" costume change.
FELICIA DAY: Oh my god.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh!
FELICIA DAY: OK, so while you're doing that, I'm gonna
tell everybody that the bit.ly/eternalpleasure leads
you to the book trailer for this book, and it is one of
the best pieces of video I've ever seen put together.
We can't show it on air, because we don't have the
rights, but if you watch this book trailer, you will be
like, this is the best hot mess--
I mean, just the guitar alone, and the--
[BONNIE LAUGHS]
FELICIA DAY: --partially-naked man.
VERONICA BELMONT: I have to watch it.
I'm gonna watch it.
BONNIE BURTON: It was great.
FELICIA DAY: You haven't seen it, Veronica?
VERONICA BELMONT: No.
No.
BONNIE BURTON: It's awesome.
VERONICA BELMONT: Where's the link?
How can I-- where can I?
Oh, there it is. "Eternal Pleasure," got it.
FELICIA DAY: It's at bit.ly/eternalpleasure.
Make sure you don't use the music, Veronica, but while
everybody's watching the trailer, I'm gonna describe to
you the book.
"'Eternal Pleasure.' The Gods of the Night are incarnated
the first time in 65 million years, summoned to protect
humanity from an all-encompassing evil that is
coming in 2012, at the end of the Mayan calendar.
While currently incarnated as deadly, handsome men, they
have the ability to assume their prior forms--
those of gigantic dinosaurs."
[VERONICA LAUGHS]
VERONICA BELMONT: They just, like, cut out a bunch of
people and stuck them in this picture.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh my god.
FELICIA DAY: I hope everybody's watching that book
trailer, because it's massively entertaining.
"One of them, Ty Endeka, develops a powerful attraction
to his driver, Kelly Maloy.
She never expects to be drawn into this world of demons,
vampires, werewolves, and otherkin--" namely,
dinosaurs--
"but when she is, she handles it with aplomb, even when The
Eleven's mysterious leader, Fin, tells her she has a
crucial role to play in the coming fight." So what do you
guys think?
I hope you're watching--
and Bonnie contributing--
[LAUGHTER]
VERONICA BELMONT: What is that thing?
BONNIE BURTON: That would be my T rex costume.
It's actually--
it's called a "Cushzilla." It's like a
Slanket, but it's Godzilla.
Rawr.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, it's amazing.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Rawr.
It looks fantastic.
BONNIE BURTON: It's really comfortable.
I am too hot, though.
Sorry.
VERONICA BELMONT: So I watch a lot of book trailers in my
line of work, and that was literally the worst thing I've
ever seen in my life.
That was just, like--
what was--
clip art galore.
I don't know.
There was like breaking glass and--
BONNIE BURTON: I have a confession.
VERONICA BELMONT: People made of electricity.
BONNIE BURTON: I watch that trailer, like,
every day, to laugh.
Because I think it's hilarious.
[VERONICA LAUGHS]
FELICIA DAY: Guys--
BONNIE BURTON: I've passed it around work, I've passed it to
all my writer friends.
If Nina Bangs is watching this right now-- and she's on
Twitter, by the way, as Ninabangs.
I love that book trailer, because it was like "Mystery
Science Theater" book trailer.
FELICIA DAY: No, it is the best.
BONNIE BURTON: It's awesome.
FELICIA DAY: Before we say what we thought about the
book, I'm gonna read a couple of the forum comments.
BONNIE BURTON: OK.
FELICIA DAY: Anna said, "Even though 'Eternal Pleasure' is
extremely cheesy and bad, I feel weird giving a low star
rating, because I was so entertained.
I have never highlighted book quotes until this book.
Do the women think the author of this novel could have
possibly taken this book seriously?
It's so off the wall crazy." Her favorite quote was, "Thou
shalt not make love with a dinosaur, no matter how sexy
he is."
[KIALA LAUGHS]
BONNIE BURTON: That's true!
FELICIA DAY: Justine on the forums says, "I don't know if
I can read on the bus anymore after it, because I had to
stop myself from laughing out loud at the 'erotic blasts'
the main character was getting hit with from the guy." Yeah,
so that's what the forum thought.
That was pretty much the consensus.
What did you think, Kiala?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Me?
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
KIALA KAZEBEE: I actually didn't, uh, get a chance to
read the dino--
FELICIA DAY: Aw.
BONNIE BURTON: Aw.
VERONICA BELMONT: Aw.
KIALA KAZEBEE: I am sorry.
FELICIA DAY: Well, that's OK.
KIALA KAZEBEE: I moved this month, so--
FELICIA DAY: Oh, OK.
Well, don't worry about it.
We're gonna spoil everything and you'll still
want to read it.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Do it.
FELICIA DAY: Bonnie?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Spoil it all.
FELICIA DAY: Bonnie--
well, let's go with Veronica, because you've got halfway
through, because you were a little busy this
weekend doing something.
VERONICA BELMONT: Gettin' mawwied.
FELICIA DAY: Somebody got married.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yay!
VERONICA BELMONT: Like the end of one of our romance books.
I couldn't help myself.
BONNIE BURTON: Yay!
VERONICA BELMONT: I just had to get married.
No, yay!
Yeah, I did.
I got about 20-- no, I got more than-- yeah, I'm about
halfway through, and I was enjoying it.
I thought it was great.
I was having a lot of fun reading this book.
It was hilarious.
I thought your lizard, Bonnie, was moving, but it was just
your dog wiggling--
BONNIE BURTON: My dog moved it.
VERONICA BELMONT: --the cushion, and I thought your
lizard was alive.
BONNIE BURTON: I've got so many--
I've got dinosaur galore.
Because, you know, if you're watch "Doctor Who"-- which you
should be, Veronica--
there was a dinosaur "Doctor Who" episode.
that was like, "Rawr."
VERONICA BELMONT: Rawr.
BONNIE BURTON: So I've got the dinosaur stuff.
I have the Tardis back here with some dinosaurs and
Godzilla, because, you know.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: I thought it was hilarious.
It was just so off-the-wall ridonkulous.
I just couldn't deal.
It was--
I'm gonna finish it, because I think it's great.
I haven't had a chance to read any of the alt picks in a
really long time and this one, I'm like, I'm in it to win it.
I'm gonna finish this sucker.
BONNIE BURTON: It's awesome.
VERONICA BELMONT: I don't care, I have
to know what happens.
I can't believe they have the most silly names ever.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, they're ridiculous.
VERONICA BELMONT: They really do.
I love how even they think their names are ridiculous.
BONNIE BURTON: They do.
VERONICA BELMONT: I love how suddenly there's vampires and
werewolves are showing up, out of nowhere.
It's just, like--
it's like everything--
I love dinosaurs.
I love dinosaurs.
Like, dinosaurs are one of my favorite things ever in the
world, in history, whatever.
And so I was like--
and Felicia and I have a joke about dinosaurs that goes back
to an early NaNoWriMo idea that I had, with their tiny
little arms.
FELICIA DAY: Tiny little arms.
VERONICA BELMONT: Not a romance novel, by the way.
So when I found out that we were doing a dinosaur-related
pick, I was super excited.
This has not disappointed.
FELICIA DAY: And you were not disappointed.
VERONICA BELMONT: This has not disappointed.
If you want to see dinosaurs in ways you
never thought possible--
BONNIE BURTON: It's true.
VERONICA BELMONT: --this is the pick for you.
BONNIE BURTON: It's so true.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
Bonnie, what did you think?
I'm gonna go last, because I have some quotes.
I have to do the quotes, because you can't take this
book seriously and say this is a great book, but you can--
BONNIE BURTON: What?
Well--
OK.
FELICIA DAY: You can't be like this is great writing and
great characters in a way that is like, you know--
but you could say, I'm having the funnest time ever.
BONNIE BURTON: This is not "Wuthering
Heights." This is like--
FELICIA DAY: No.
BONNIE BURTON: I'm a big "Mystery Science Theater 3000"
fan and this feels like if they wrote a romance book.
But I will say, I'm--
OK, so just backtrack.
I'm a huge fan of dinosaur cartoons, so "DinoSquad"--
if you look up "DinoSquad," which I tweeted about earlier
today, it's a cartoon from, like, the early '90s and it's
about teenagers that transform into dinosaurs.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Hmm.
BONNIE BURTON: So I thought maybe this is them grown up,
having sex.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh.
BONNIE BURTON: I did say "grown up." I said "grown up."
I'm not talking about creepy dinosaur sex.
VERONICA BELMONT: Maybe think of, instead, as the family
from "Dinosaurs," the puppet TV show.
BONNIE BURTON: Oh no.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh, that's--
better.
That's--
VERONICA BELMONT: "Not the mama!"
KIALA KAZEBEE: No.
VERONICA BELMONT: "Not the mama!"
KIALA KAZEBEE: God, girl.
BONNIE BURTON: Oh man.
FELICIA DAY: You are the queen of impressions--
of nonsensical impressions.
VERONICA BELMONT: My joke is that I don't know-- the only
impression I can do is Lumpy Space Princess, and I already
did that on the show, so now I have to find new ones.
FELICIA DAY: That's kind of just--
BONNIE BURTON: Hey, doesn't-- isn't Greg Argono--
Argonowatz--
he worked on "Dinosaurs?"
FELICIA DAY: He did.
Greg Aronowitz, the production designer who works
on many of my shows.
I believe he did work on that.
VERONICA BELMONT: Maybe he should have done the book
trailer for
"Eternal Pleasures." [LAUGHTER]
VERONICA BELMONT: Maybe that would have made it better.
Could have made it better.
BONNIE BURTON: I have a request of all the
"Vag" fans out there.
So you creative types, I think we should do our own trailer
for this book.
If you think you could do a better trailer, I think you
should post it to YouTube after you read the book.
Because I'm going to.
I'm making puppets, I'm doing a whole-- yeah.
FELICIA DAY: Are you kidding, Bonnie?
BONNIE BURTON: No, I'm not kidding.
I love this book, so I'm going to do--
I'm gonna redo the trailer with puppets and bad music
that I'm gonna compose.
[VERONICA GASPS]
VERONICA BELMONT: Can I help?
FELICIA DAY: I can't wait to see this.
VERONICA BELMONT: Can I help?
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
Veronica, we're totally doing this.
FELICIA DAY: Wow.
BONNIE BURTON: I love the book so much,
because it's so out there.
I had the same problem.
I ride two different trains to get to
work, to get to Revision3.
So I'm riding two trains-- one of them's kind of like the
tough kid train.
It's like a rap video without the glamour and Cristal, but
all the smells.
So I'm reading this book, laughing my ass off, and this
woman next to me-- tonight even, because I was re-reading
passages that I wanted to bring up--
was looking at the cover.
She's like, girl, that looks like a good book.
What's that all about?
And I was like, it's about dinosaur shapeshifters having
sex and fighting vampires.
And she thought I was on crack.
[LAUGHTER]
BONNIE BURTON: She was like, what?
And I'm like, no.
And if you look at the cover of the book--
FELICIA DAY: Oh, the book.
Show the cover.
It's Benicio Del Toro's and Brad Pitt's love child.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: There's no dinosaurs.
Is it's just, like, a hot dude, but there's no-- there's
no dinosaur--
VERONICA BELMONT: There needs to be-- there needs, at least,
to be the shape of the dinosaur.
FELICIA DAY: It should be an outline.
VERONICA BELMONT: Well, we haven't explained--
FELICIA DAY: Like a looming shadow.
BONNIE BURTON: This guy, right here.
VERONICA BELMONT: --to non-readers that when they go
into-- so, they're basically the souls of dinosaurs.
FELICIA DAY: Yes.
VERONICA BELMONT: So when they take their dinosaur forms,
there's kind of like an aspect of them inside the dinosaur.
I don't know, are they moving like the dinosaur?
FELICIA DAY: I don't know.
VERONICA BELMONT: That's what I wanted to know.
Are they just sitting inside of it or are they like, "Grr,
arr?"
BONNIE BURTON: They make the sounds.
They make the sounds.
They talk about that at the beginning of the book, that
they make--
FELICIA DAY: But it isn't-- it isn't a physical
dinosaur like that.
It's like a glowing outline.
VERONICA BELMONT: It's like a ghost dinosaur.
But it still has matter, because it can attack them.
FELICIA DAY: Exactly.
VERONICA BELMONT: It can kill things.
KIALA KAZEBEE: So what kind of outline, though?
I mean, is it-- like, is it a brontosaurus outline?
VERONICA BELMONT: There was, like, T rex--
KIALA KAZEBEE: Triceratops?
VERONICA BELMONT: --an allosaurus, and like--
FELICIA DAY: Every guy has a different dinosaur.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: What's Q's dinosaur?
It's like a--
I don't know how to pronounce it, because
it's Aztec or Mayan.
FELICIA DAY: Aliothaurius?
VERONICA BELMONT: Tezacasacocorean.
[FELICIA LAUGHS]
BONNIE BURTON: No, this book is kind of--
VERONICA BELMONT: Kesokasasakusu.
BONNIE BURTON: So the book's kind of crazy, because when
you read the first few chapters, you're like, OK.
You're trying to wrap your head around it.
So there's these immortals that want to
wipe out humans, right?
But they can only do it at certain times of the year?
FELICIA DAY: The calendar year, which is now the Mayan
calendar in 2012.
BONNIE BURTON: Right.
FELICIA DAY: And then this guy, Fin, this who has sparkly
silver hair--
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh.
FELICIA DAY: He has sparkly hair.
Like, literally.
BONNIE BURTON: Yes.
FELICIA DAY: He has glitter hair.
And somebody on the forum was mentioning what kind of
Christmas ornaments he had in his hair, because it was
always sparkly white hair.
BONNIE BURTON: He has tinsel hair.
Tinsel.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, that's good.
He had tinsel hair.
VERONICA BELMONT: Very light.
FELICIA DAY: So we don't know what Fin is.
Fin is like a mystery.
He's a mystery, but he's the one who
reincarnated these guys.
And literally, they haven't been alive in, they say, 45
million years.
This is the last time.
And that's why they need drivers.
They need hot women to drive them around--
VERONICA BELMONT: They need drivers.
They need uber cabs.
KIALA KAZEBEE: They need hot drivers.
VERONICA BELMONT: They have uber cabs.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Because everyone knows that dinosaurs
couldn't drive.
BONNIE BURTON: Let me bring it down.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Unless there's some kind of ironic oil joke
in there, too.
Like the gas--
[VERONICA GASPS]
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh my god.
BONNIE BURTON: Oh my god.
FELICIA DAY: It was a missed opportunity.
VERONICA BELMONT: Probably not.
That's probably not it at all.
KIALA KAZEBEE: I just blew your mind.
VERONICA BELMONT: Yeah, you did.
But then it's like, no, that's too deep.
That's too deep.
BONNIE BURTON: That is awesome.
KIALA KAZEBEE: All right, go ahead.
BONNIE BURTON: So, if you break it down, it's like Duran
Duran's "Chauffeur" meets--
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah.
That song just went into my head.
BONNIE BURTON: Meets "DinoSquad" meets--
VERONICA BELMONT:
"I'm the baby!" [LAUGHTER]
BONNIE BURTON: Oh my god.
There's so many things--
FELICIA DAY: OK.
Guys, I want to read you some quotes that I lifted
while you think of--
Christine from the forum wants to know, if we could
shapeshift into any one animal/dinosaur, what would we
pick and why?
So you must mull on that while I read to you some of my
favorite quotes.
BONNIE BURTON: Which dinosaur?
FELICIA DAY: No, what any animal would
you shapeshift into?
BONNIE BURTON: Oh, OK.
FELICIA DAY: Let me do my quotes.
VERONICA BELMONT: We're quietly thinking about it.
BONNIE BURTON: OK, quote.
FELICIA DAY: OK, quiet.
Here's one quote.
This is the point of view of Kelly, the driver.
"Both men had faces and bodies that sent out a primal call to
all women, a call that promised to put
adrenaline-pumping excitement into their lives and bring
heart-stopping sex into their beds." That was pretty bad.
I mean, bad as in amazing.
And then let me get my--
"Why the hell was she thinking of his hair when she'd fallen
into some weird alternate universe where werewolves and
dinosaurs battled each other in Memorial Park?"
[BONNIE LAUGHS]
FELICIA DAY: Which is--
she has a self-awareness of how ridiculous this is, which
I think kind of makes this.
And then--
"'I think you're wrong, Kelly.
I know you.
I know what's in your eyes-- hunger.' Ty stopped as he
reached the side of the bed. 'Recognizing things like that
is one of the perks of having a primitive soul hot-wired for
sex.'"
VERONICA BELMONT: Whoa.
BONNIE BURTON: He's awful.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh god.
How do they get so cheesy underground that long?
It's like 65 million years of cheese ball lines just fed
into their brain.
FELICIA DAY: He does that the whole book, though.
VERONICA BELMONT: I know.
BONNIE BURTON: The first few chapters, though, totally
dragged me in.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: I was like, this is gonna be lame.
And then I read the first two chapters and I'm like, oh my
god, I've got to keep reading.
This is exciting.
FELICIA DAY: You just have to get through it.
You just have to be like, oh, that part was not good.
Let me go to the next one, where a dinosaur is killing a
pack of werewolves.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Because that happens.
VERONICA BELMONT: It happens all the time.
FELICIA DAY: Everybody's being blasted with testosterone.
It's like they literally an air vent of testosterone just
hitting her in the face, because it's,
like, 15, 20 times.
BONNIE BURTON: I love that their cover is that they're--
was it that they're missionaries saving souls?
I'm like, yeah, right.
They're super hot guys, first of all.
So that's the thing--
you get this description of them in the first chapter that
they're being reincarnated--
they're not reincarnated, they're basically taking over
the bodies of humans that have just died.
FELICIA DAY: Hot humans.
BONNIE BURTON: But they're super hot.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Uh, only the hot ones.
VERONICA BELMONT: That would attract--
BONNIE BURTON: Uber hot.
FELICIA DAY: But in the book, one of them asks--
one of them actually asks Fin, why did you pick these bodies?
We're all so hot.
And he's like, why not?
I mean, that's literally kind of like the attitude he has.
BONNIE BURTON: He says very specifically, I don't want you
have to work hard to get women.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, is that what he said?
VERONICA BELMONT: Yeah, yeah.
That's what he said, in that first, tense meeting.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
I mean, come on.
FELICIA DAY: It's amazing.
VERONICA BELMONT: I just love how they always want to just
rip each other's throats out all the time.
FELICIA DAY: All the time.
VERONICA BELMONT: Take the alpha male thing we've talked
about for so many episodes--
it just goes so far above and beyond anything we possibly
could have imagined.
It was just like, oh, he's looking at my woman, I'm gonna
rip his throat out!
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
BONNIE BURTON: They're all like, was that a predator or
not a predator?
Like they--
VERONICA BELMONT: Predator?
Prey?
Predator?
Prey?
I don't know why I'm doing this voice now.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, I don't know.
It's your dinosaur voice.
VERONICA BELMONT: Yeah, it's my dinosaur voice.
FELICIA DAY: And then there's a trio of brothers who are all
blond and amazingly gorgeous, and they imply that they do
everything together.
BONNIE BURTON: Everything.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh!
FELICIA DAY: And I'm just like, what is going on?
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: I kind of want to read more.
I want to read the rest of them.
There's only three out, but I want Fin's.
I want to know what happens to Fin.
Like, what the heck's going on with him?
BONNIE BURTON: They're really fast reads, too, because I
read the first one in a day and I was like--
VERONICA BELMONT: Do we not know what Fin is yet?
FELICIA DAY: No.
It's a mystery.
He's the mastermind.
VERONICA BELMONT: It's a mystery still.
OK.
BONNIE BURTON: He's the one that brought them back.
FELICIA DAY: And he doesn't have his book out.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: But the funny thing is, they keep talking
about how 11:11 is a number that keeps coming up and that
the world is trying to remind us of the end of the world,
but we're not noticing the signs.
So, this is something that was told to me a long time ago,
that if you constantly--
you know when you look at the clock, and you find yourself
always looking at the clock at the same time, every day?
It means something.
So if you always look at the clock and it says 9:11--
and no correlation to, obviously, the New York
tragedy, but--
9:11's supposed to mean that you seek change
in your life, right?
Some of us always notice what it's 4:20, and
then others, 11:11.
And I found it interesting that this story focused on the
11:11 number.
VERONICA BELMONT: Well, to me, 11:11 is a good time, along
with 12:34.
FELICIA DAY: Me too.
I love both those times.
VERONICA BELMONT: Have you seen--
BONNIE BURTON: I thought 12:34 is that you make a wish.
VERONICA BELMONT: Well, have you seen--
FELICIA DAY: What kind of lore--
VERONICA BELMONT: --the literal "Microsoft Paint"
video for "Party Rock?"
BONNIE BURTON: Oh. yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: Has anyone seen those?
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: So when they go, "The party rock is in the
house tonight, everybody just have a good time," they show a
picture of times, and the times are 11:11 and 12:34.
So whenever I see those times, I'm like, oh,
that's a good time.
[LAUGHTER]
VERONICA BELMONT: That's a good time.
FELICIA DAY: That's so weird.
Those are the two times I always look at and I'm like,
well, I'm lucky now, because I looked.
Isn't that weird?
VERONICA BELMONT: Yeah, because you
looked at that time.
BONNIE BURTON: Right.
VERONICA BELMONT: That's why that part of the song really
speaks to me.
BONNIE BURTON: But according to this book, 11:11 means the
end of the world.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: What?
FELICIA DAY: Well.
BONNIE BURTON: Wait.
FELICIA DAY: You win some, you lose some.
OK, what animal would you shapeshift into?
Did you guys pick one?
VERONICA BELMONT: I want to be a panther.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Mm-hmm.
FELICIA DAY: Really?
BONNIE BURTON: Really?
VERONICA BELMONT: Yeah.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: Because my first "World of Warcraft" pet
was a panther, and his name was, um--
what was his name?
Snoozer.
His name was Snoozer.
KIALA KAZEBEE: No.
God.
VERONICA BELMONT: His name was Snoozer because he faded,
because he could fade away.
He could become invisible and, like--
I don't know.
FELICIA DAY: Are you gonna play "Mists of Pandaria?"
VERONICA BELMONT: No.
Don't plan on-- no.
FELICIA DAY: No?
VERONICA BELMONT: No.
I'm kind of into other stuff right now, Felicia.
I don't know.
FELICIA DAY: The talent trees are really good, I have to
tell you, I was impressed when I looked it up.
VERONICA BELMONT: Well, I've played the beta, but I'm
playing "The Secret World," right now-- which has a
Cthulhu, by the way.
FELICIA DAY: I love "Secret World." Actually, Bonnie, you
would love "Secret World," because
there's a lot of horror.
It's very horror oriented.
VERONICA BELMONT: I feel like I'm coming in like six months
too late to this game, but I'm still enjoying it anyway.
But whatever.
And I'm real upset that I got married this weekend, because
now everyone's gonna be a way higher level in "Borderlands
2" than I am.
KIALA KAZEBEE: I am!
Yes, yes.
VERONICA BELMONT: So that sucks.
KIALA KAZEBEE: I've been playing "Borderlands"--
BONNIE BURTON: Is everyone playing this?
KIALA KAZEBEE: I've been playing "Borderlands" non-stop
for the past week, so.
VERONICA BELMONT: Wait, are you Xbox or PC?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Xbox.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh.
FELICIA DAY: Veronica, I--
Veronica, I downloaded the PC person, and I can't play FPS
on my desktop.
I've got to play on the Xbox.
VERONICA BELMONT: No!
FELICIA DAY: It makes me sick.
VERONICA BELMONT: What?
No, you can't play first-person shooters on Xbox.
They're made for PC gaming.
FELICIA DAY: I'm so much better at them.
VERONICA BELMONT: PC gaming is so much easier for
first-person shooters.
FELICIA DAY: No.
KIALA KAZEBEE: No.
FELICIA DAY: I disagree.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, you guys--
KIALA KAZEBEE: Disagree.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh!
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh!
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh!
FELICIA DAY: OK, Kiala, what animal would you be?
BONNIE BURTON: Wait, wait, wait.
If we're gonna talk about games, can I mention really
quick the video game that I want to play?
VERONICA BELMONT: Ah, chat room agrees with me.
FELICIA DAY: Whatever, chat room.
Sorry, I'm getting surly.
BONNIE BURTON: The video game that I--
I'm just gonna say this once, because I never play video
games ever, and when you guys talk about video games, I feel
kind of like the dumb person.
I will say that thanks to the other hangout show that's on
"Geek and Sundry" called "MetaDating," I now want to--
which is an awesome show.
If you're not watching it, it's like "Vaginal Fantasy,"
but with guys playing romance dating sim games.
FELICIA DAY: That game they played this month is crazy.
BONNIE BURTON: "Facade?" So their game that they played is
like if you walked in on your best friends fighting, that
are a couple.
And everything you say depends on whether or not
they break up or not.
It's like the most awkward game ever, and I will play
that until I die, because that is the best video game I have
ever seen in my life.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, I wish they did a sequel.
It's so long ago.
It was like 2008 they did that game, and then they were
supposed to do a sequel, and I don't think it ever got made,
unfortunately.
BONNIE BURTON: I was just going to say, if you haven't
watched that show yet, there are other awesome hangouts on
"Geek and Sundry." You don't have to just watch us, though
we are rockin'.
FELICIA DAY: We're the best, but you know.
BONNIE BURTON: "MetaDating" is hilarious.
VERONICA BELMONT: "Sword and Laser" is OK, too.
FELICIA DAY: "Sword and Laser" is pretty good.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah, they're OK.
VERONICA BELMONT: We gotta put that out there.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
OK, Kiala, what would be your animal?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Well, Veronica stole my animal, because I--
VERONICA BELMONT: So sorry!
KIALA KAZEBEE: I wanted to be a panther, too.
FELICIA DAY: Guys.
KIALA KAZEBEE: But that is only because I was-- at one
point, if I was ever going to get a tattoo, I wanted it to
be a panther who was eating an ice cream cone.
VERONICA BELMONT: Aw.
[LAUGHTER]
KIALA KAZEBEE: Kind of wrapped around a lily.
BONNIE BURTON: See, that's funny, because I wanted a
tattoo of an ice cream cone eating a panther.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh!
FELICIA DAY: That's weird.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Uh-huh.
Anyways, panther.
FELICIA DAY: What practical level of being a panther--
what are you gonna do?
Are you go--
I mean, people would capture you immediately.
There's no freedom with being a panther.
KIALA KAZEBEE: They move pretty fast.
Really fast and stealthy.
VERONICA BELMONT: What do you mean there's no freedom?
What do you mean?
FELICIA DAY: Well, you'd have to be-- you
could be in the jungle.
But I want to be a hummingbird, because I can go
everywhere and suck nectar everywhere.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, but then you're dumb and
you can't kill anything.
You're just a--
BONNIE BURTON: A hummingbird?
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: --boring hummingbird, flying around.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, what's wrong?
That's my--
VERONICA BELMONT: Ooh, maybe a raptor of some kind, like a
bird of prey.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Maybe I should be a bear.
VERONICA BELMONT: A hawk.
No, bears are too, like, derp de derp derp.
[FELICIA LAUGHS]
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah, but they like hot tubs.
They like sitting in hot tubs.
And I like sitting in hot tubs.
FELICIA DAY: You're gonna put a bear in a hot tub?
What?
KIALA KAZEBEE: They like to sit in hot tubs.
BONNIE BURTON: This feels like "Harvey Birdman." What are you
talking about?
FELICIA DAY: All right, Bonnie, what was your animal?
BONNIE BURTON: So I thought about this a lot, because I'm
a big "Harry Potter" fan and I always remember--
VERONICA BELMONT: Obama/Weasley, 2012!
[LAUGHTER]
BONNIE BURTON: --the whole shapeshifting thing.
I always liked the whole idea of being a raven, because you
could fly, you could escape predators quickly.
And they're scavengers, so they're not vegetarians--
they still eat meat, so that's cool.
FELICIA DAY: Mm-hmm.
BONNIE BURTON: But, I don't know.
And it's goth-- you know, the whole Lenore,
Edgar Allen Poe thing.
So I like the idea of a raven, but it's interesting, because
it depends--
by the way, I think panther could totally work, because if
you're shapeshifting, you could be a panther at night
and totally have camouflage.
FELICIA DAY: Hmm.
BONNIE BURTON: So I think that works.
FELICIA DAY: All right.
Maybe hummingbird was stupid.
BONNIE BURTON: I think it depends where you live.
KIALA KAZEBEE: No, hummingbird is amazing.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah, hummingbird's good.
FELICIA DAY: It's more of an ornamental animal.
It's not like that's a practical use
for that, you know?
I mean, it would not be--
yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: I do want to say something, Felicia.
Did you know that one of the first surveillance drones in
Afghanistan was the hummingbird robot?
VERONICA BELMONT: That's cool.
FELICIA DAY: I didn't know that.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Aren't they super strong, too?
BONNIE BURTON: It looks exactly like a hummingbird--
which is weird, because there's not a lot of
hummingbirds in Afghanistan.
But they use that as the surveillance drone to send out
in front of troops, so they could see
what was around buildings.
FELICIA DAY: Interesting.
So there is a practical use to being a hummingbird--
drone.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
You could be a battle bird.
VERONICA BELMONT: Battle bird.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Battle bird.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, oh.
Before we wrap up, Christine wants to know-- oh no, Joanne
wants to know, what do we think about the last love
scene where Ty rubs vanilla lotion, in attempted foreplay,
all over his legs, while bent over in front of his woman?
I just kept smelling vanilla lotion in a very pungent way,
and I was like, this is not sexy.
BONNIE BURTON: I did too.
FELICIA DAY: Yes.
VERONICA BELMONT: I haven't gotten to
that point yet, but--
FELICIA DAY: Oh, OK.
I want to hear your comments.
BONNIE BURTON: I have vanilla incense in my
house, so I was like--
I'm going to just put the bottle right up to my nose as
I'm reading.
FELICIA DAY: That's weird.
OK, who would you cast--
BONNIE BURTON: Did it feel weird?
Because I was like, is this a Bed, Bath and Beyond type of--
it felt like a weird moment.
FELICIA DAY: It was a weird, weird moment, because he was
like, this is how you are sexy.
But it's not, because there was--
[VERONICA SINGS TO HERSELF]
BONNIE BURTON: No.
FELICIA DAY: Anyway, I don't want to
spoil it, because Veronica--
what is she singing?
VERONICA BELMONT: No, it's OK.
You can spoil it.
I was singing "This is How We Do It," by Montel Williams.
No, I'm kidding.
FELICIA DAY: OK, last question--
VERONICA BELMONT: That's just-- wait,
what's the guy's name--
KIALA KAZEBEE: Wait, who?
VERONICA BELMONT: --that sings that song, chat room?
"This is how we do it.
This is how we do it." Oh, I can't sing this,
because we'll get sued.
Montel--
no, no.
Montell Jordan?
It was Montell Jordan?
Thank you, chat room.
Montell Jordan.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Wow.
VERONICA BELMONT: It was not Bell Biv DeVoe.
[LAUGHTER]
VERONICA BELMONT: Lordie.
FELICIA DAY: That's not accurate.
VERONICA BELMONT: Not Montel Williams.
FELICIA DAY: They only did "Poison." I think
they only did that.
BONNIE BURTON: Montel Williams?
Bill Cosby!
I don't know.
FELICIA DAY: OK, last question--
VERONICA BELMONT: I know that whole song by heart.
FELICIA DAY: Who would you cast in this book?
And then we're gonna check our poll and see what our winning
books are for next month.
Who would you cast?
I said, since it's so cheesy, Billy
Zane and Pamela Anderson.
KIALA KAZEBEE: What?
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, Jesus.
BONNIE BURTON: Billy Zane?
He'd have to wear a wig, because every guy in this book
has long hair.
You would have to wear a wig.
Billy Zane's bald.
FELICIA DAY: I mean, early Billy Zane, in that one
superhero movie he did.
BONNIE BURTON: Or, like, "Orlando" Billy Zane.
Like he'd have to be really old-school Billy.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh, he was so hot in that.
Oh, or in "Critters." He was in "Critters."
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: He was in "Critters," yeah.
Early Billy Zane.
KIALA KAZEBEE: With a ponytail.
FELICIA DAY: What about you?
BONNIE BURTON: OK, so I think--
who was the creepy guy that was in the first Christian
Bale "Batman" that played--
oh, what's his name?
Do you know who I'm talking about?
That weird guy with the big eyes?
Uh--
KIALA KAZEBEE: Cillian Murphy?
BONNIE BURTON: Yes!
FELICIA DAY: Cillian Murphy.
BONNIE BURTON: I think Cillian Murphy should
play tinsel hair dude.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: Really?
FELICIA DAY: I don't know about that.
KIALA KAZEBEE: That would be nice.
I don't know, I just like Cillian Murphy.
VERONICA BELMONT: I think he's attractive, but I don't know
if he's like good looking enough, because--
BONNIE BURTON: That's the thing.
VERONICA BELMONT: --Fin is supposed to be like--
KIALA KAZEBEE: He's so pretty.
VERONICA BELMONT: --perfect.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, perfect.
VERONICA BELMONT: Like Adonis, kind of.
BONNIE BURTON: Oh, that's right.
You're right, you're right.
OK, let me rephrase.
FELICIA DAY: It's the blue eyes.
They're throwing you.
His eyes are amazing.
BONNIE BURTON: You're totally right.
So maybe--
because he has to be pretty, right?
So maybe the lead guy from "White Collar."
[FELICIA GASPS]
FELICIA DAY: Matthew Bone?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Bone?
VERONICA BELMONT: Bone?
FELICIA DAY: Bone?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Ner?
Matthew Boner?
FELICIA DAY: No.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh.
VERONICA BELMONT: Hm, I don't know his name.
BONNIE BURTON: Bomer?
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, Bomer.
Yeah, that guy.
Oh yeah, that's a pretty good one.
BONNIE BURTON: Because he's pretty, yeah?
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
BONNIE BURTON: He's a pretty guy.
I could see him playing that.
FELICIA DAY: And what about the girl?
BONNIE BURTON: As far as Ty--
because he has to be muscular, and I'm not into muscular
dudes, so I don't really know.
I'm into, like, Benedict Cumberbatch types, so.
FELICIA DAY: I just watched all of "Sherlock," season two,
and I cannot tell you how good that is.
That's the best TV, ever made.
VERONICA BELMONT: Yay!
BONNIE BURTON: Yay!
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yay!
BONNIE BURTON: And by the way, it did not win an Emmy.
Robbed.
VERONICA BELMONT: You're a Cumberbitch with us now.
FELICIA DAY: I am, 100%.
100%.
VERONICA BELMONT: All right.

KIALA KAZEBEE: What about Chris Hemsworth?
What about him?
FELICIA DAY: Oh, yes.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, OK.
But Ty was supposed to be dark haired.
FELICIA DAY: Dark haired.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh.
FELICIA DAY: What about the guy from, uh-- did anybody see
"Magic Mike?"
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: That's Chatum Tanning.
Tatum?
Cheatem?
FELICIA DAY: Or Channing Tatum.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah, Channing Tatum.
VERONICA BELMONT: Which is the child actor and
which is the hot actor?
[LAUGHTER]
KIALA KAZEBEE: Which one is married to John McEnroe?
Both of them?
VERONICA BELMONT: Yeah, which one?
Not that one.
Not that one.
FELICIA DAY: Channing Tatum-- no.
Oh no.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Channing O'Neal.
Channing Henry, with Diane Channing.
[LAUGHTER]
VERONICA BELMONT: Diane Channing.
BONNIE BURTON: That's not right.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Carol Burnett Channing Tatum O'Neal.
[LAUGHTER]
BONNIE BURTON: Carol Channing, Carol Channing.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Carol Channing.
Carol Channing and Madeline Kahn, starring in "Eternal
Pleasure."
[LAUGHTER]
FELICIA DAY: Oh my god.
BONNIE BURTON: I tried to think of any muscular guys--
FELICIA DAY: I don't think we need--
VERONICA BELMONT: Wait, wait, OK.
Wait.
BONNIE BURTON: Honestly, the only thing that comes to mind
is Henry Rollins, and that is not-- that's not gonna work.
I don't know.
VERONICA BELMONT: He's too short.
FELICIA DAY: He's too-- yeah.
KIALA KAZEBEE: He's too short, yeah.
FELICIA DAY: So, if chat room has no suggestions--
VERONICA BELMONT: Chat room had a couple of good
suggestions.
FELICIA DAY: "Channing Tatum, god."
VERONICA BELMONT: So you guys are gonna be mad at me for my
pick for Ty.
FELICIA DAY: Oh.
VERONICA BELMONT: Because it's obvious.
BONNIE BURTON: Who is it?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Is it James McAvoy?
VERONICA BELMONT: Joe Manganiello.
FELICIA DAY: Oh.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh.
Joe Manganiello, my go-to pick.
It's perfect.
He's the right height.
He's 6' 4".
FELICIA DAY: I saw him in person--
VERONICA BELMONT: He's got chiseled cheekbones.
FELICIA DAY: --at Dragon Con.
Did you see him in person at Dragon Con?
VERONICA BELMONT: Yes.
He was fine.
FELICIA DAY: I was trying to angle an introduction, and it
never happened.
VERONICA BELMONT: With Joe Manganiello for, like--
BONNIE BURTON: Who are you talking about?
VERONICA BELMONT: --this kid picks you as the lead role in
all of our "Vaginal Fantasy" picks.
It's weird.
KIALA KAZEBEE: You've got a good opener.
VERONICA BELMONT: I thought you guys should meet.
I thought you guys should meet.
BONNIE BURTON: Who?
VERONICA BELMONT: So here's my pick--
BONNIE BURTON: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait-- back up.
What has he played?
I'm not familiar with the actor.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, he plays--
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh, he's Alcide.
VERONICA BELMONT: --Alcide from "True Blood."
FELICIA DAY: And he was in "Magic Mike." He was the dark
guy in "Magic Mike."
BONNIE BURTON: Oh!
Oh, OK.
VERONICA BELMONT: Ah, chat room says some of them were
picturing him, because I talk about him too goddamn
much on this show.
FELICIA DAY: I mean, it's a good pick.
VERONICA BELMONT: He's OK.
I'm not like--
I don't feel very strongly about him.
He just has that look that seems to fit with all these
books for some reason.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: Also, I thought Alexander Skarsgard,
if you had dyed his hair black or brown, would be like the
perfect build.
I don't even watch "True Blood," the TV show.
It just happened that--
I actually googled actors, 6' 4", and that's what came up.
They both came up.
And I was like, oh, OK.
FELICIA DAY: That's so random.
VERONICA BELMONT: Yeah, I could see those guys.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
And then I thought maybe what's her face--
oh, Amanda Seyfried--
FELICIA DAY: Oh yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: --as Kelly, because she's got that kind of
wide-eyed, what-is-happening kind of thing.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, she'd actually be a good one.
VERONICA BELMONT: And she's blonde and she
can do her hair wavy.
I thought she'd be fun.
FELICIA DAY: She looks really pretty when she
has her hair wavy.
VERONICA BELMONT: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: All right.
BONNIE BURTON: Yeah.
FELICIA DAY: Well, I'm glad that we have a consensus.
BONNIE BURTON: That's a good pick.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah.
OK guys, I'm gonna check our poll and see what our books
next month are--
as the creator of said poll.
BONNIE BURTON: Can I do a plug real quick?
FELICIA DAY: Oh yeah.
Do it while I check.
Everybody plug something they want to plug.
BONNIE BURTON: I want to plug that, if you haven't checked
it out, we did an interview recently with the "io9--
We Come From the Future" show on Revision3.
We all talked about our favorite and not-so-favorite
moments for "Vaginal Fantasy." So if you go on YouTube and do
a search for "io9--
We Come From the Future," you can check out our interview
that we did.
I think it was last week.
But I also co-host, so I talk about the Wonder
Woman/Superman coupling, which I think is a big mistake.
FELICIA DAY: Oh.
BONNIE BURTON: We also talk about other stuff.
But we get interviewed.
The "Vag Fan," we're all there.
So you can see us being interviewed on a real show.
That's kind of cool.
FELICIA DAY: It is nice.
And then, of course, Veronica does "Sword and Laser" here,
right here on "Geek and Sundry." So check that out
every Friday.
VERONICA BELMONT: I will do a pimp.
We're having the wonderful--
all right, so we have a lot of great people on
the show coming up.
We're having, um, um--
gah.
I've had too much wine, why is this not working?
[LAUGHTER]
VERONICA BELMONT: Wait, who was--
oh my gosh.
She's so good and she was so amazing.
She's an author, Felicia, that you like too.
She writes--
FELICIA DAY: Who?
VERONICA BELMONT: --the steampunk novels.
Not Gail Carriger.
FELICIA DAY: Gail Carriger.
VERONICA BELMONT: Not Gail Carriger.
FELICIA DAY: Gail Carriger.
VERONICA BELMONT: No.
BONNIE BURTON: Is it Gail Carriger?
VERONICA BELMONT: Help me, internet.
FELICIA DAY: Cherie Priest!
VERONICA BELMONT: Cherie Priest!
Yes.
We have the wonderful Cherie Priest on the show.
FELICIA DAY: Oh yeah.
VERONICA BELMONT: I'm so sorry that I--
it flew out of my mind.
BONNIE BURTON: Her stuff's great.
VERONICA BELMONT: Yeah, she was amazing.
FELICIA DAY: Did you read the vaginal fantasy
book she just wrote?
VERONICA BELMONT: No, I haven't yet.
FELICIA DAY: She wrote a book about a vampire assassin woman
that was excellent.
I read two of them.
VERONICA BELMONT: Very cool.
So, Cherie Priest was awesome.
She was on the show, she'll be on soon, coming up.
We are also having Gail Carriger on the show in the
next month or two, so she--
I'm so excited for that.
So we've got some great female authors coming up soon.
What?
BONNIE BURTON: I love your show.
It makes me--
VERONICA BELMONT: Thank you.
BONNIE BURTON: --want to read other books besides our smutty
ones, so thank you.
FELICIA DAY: OK, guys.
The winner of the poll--
and gosh, a lot of people voted.
320 people voted.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Really?
FELICIA DAY: Fantasy.
The fantasy category won, with gods and angels close second.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Ah.
BONNIE BURTON: OK.
FELICIA DAY: So I have two of them picked out.
The question is, do you what the one that has more naughty
scenes or less naughty scenes as the main pick?
BONNIE BURTON: More.
KIALA KAZEBEE: More.
FELICIA DAY: Of course.
VERONICA BELMONT: More, more.
FELICIA DAY: Not surprising.
VERONICA BELMONT: More, more, more.
FELICIA DAY: OK.
So the--
oh, gosh.
Well, let me get the author, because I
didn't write it down.
What?
Well.
It's not "The Black Crow." What is it?
Oh, "Master of Crows." OK, so our main pick for next month
will be "Master of Crows," by Grace Draven.
D-R-A-V-E-N.
VERONICA BELMONT: Ooh.
FELICIA DAY: Sorry if I mispronounced that.
And our alt will be "Poison Study," by Maria Snyder.
So those are gonna be our books next month.
They're both fantasy oriented, but they're not like heavy,
epic fantasy, like "Kushiel's Dart." They're shorter,
quicker reads, that are basically romance books set a
fantasy world.
VERONICA BELMONT: We have to-- before we forget, we have to
thank Karen for making the amazing Cthulhu art for our
profile pictures.
BONNIE BURTON: Yes, thank you.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh, yes.

VERONICA BELMONT: She also did some "Star Trek" ones--
KIALA KAZEBEE: That is pretty great.
VERONICA BELMONT: --which are pretty amazing.
BONNIE BURTON: There's "Star Trek" ones?"
VERONICA BELMONT: I just posted, in
the chat, her gallery.
BONNIE BURTON: Oh, OK.
VERONICA BELMONT: You can see the one she did for Bonnie and
for me and--
BONNIE BURTON: What?
VERONICA BELMONT: Is there one of Felicia?
FELICIA DAY: I think there's one of me, too.
I didn't change it to my avatar.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, there you are.
Yes.
FELICIA DAY: Here I am.
VERONICA BELMONT: Kevin and I have been Kevincthulhu,
Cthulhuronica, and--
how do you say yours, Kiala?
KIALA KAZEBEE: Kiathulhu.
VERONICA BELMONT: Kiathulhu.
FELICIA DAY: There's also a picture of me as a cat.
Feline Day.
KIALA KAZEBEE: What?
Oh wow.
[LAUGHTER]
VERONICA BELMONT: You're like an upside down kitty tummy.
Like, I want to rub your tummy.
BONNIE BURTON: I do want to do that.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh, what is that?
VERONICA BELMONT: That's adorable.
BONNIE BURTON: I had Cthulhu Bonnie up, but because
Veronica has bangs like mine, I kept getting accidental
Veronica tweets at me.
So I had to take it off, but I will say I really loved the
art and I printed it out and framed it.
So it's in my apartment, framed.
VERONICA BELMONT: Oh, cool.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Oh, that's a really good idea.
BONNIE BURTON: So any time any of you guys do fan art of us,
we all really appreciate it.
So thank you.
VERONICA BELMONT: Yes, we do.
FELICIA DAY: Yeah, we do.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yes, we do.
VERONICA BELMONT: I think I've had mine up for about a month
now, so I am gonna switch it back to regular Veronica face,
but I wanted to have it up for the month before the show.
So thank you.
I got a big kick out of trying to explain to people what that
was all about.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Yeah.
I just didn't explain it.
I just stopped explaining it.
There was no explanation needed.
BONNIE BURTON: Oh, Felicia?
Felicia, Kim said that someone wants to know what
our second book is.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, the second book is "Poison Study," by
Maria Snyder.
So our main, "Master of Crows"--
and let me just tell you, for the record, that it is very
racy, that book.
BONNIE BURTON: Ooh.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Ooh.
VERONICA BELMONT: Ooh.
FELICIA DAY: Just a warning for people who--
"Poison Study" is a lot--
it's a great book, it's one of my very favorites.
I even have it in hardback, because I enjoyed it so much.
BONNIE BURTON: Wow.
FELICIA DAY: But it's a lot more PG-13 rated.
So if you feel uncomfortable with all the racy parts, check
the alt out.
All right.
Well, thanks, you guys.
I think it's time to wrap it up.
We will see you next month, on October 30,
reading fantasy books.
Bye.
KIALA KAZEBEE: Bye.
BONNIE BURTON: Yay!
VERONICA BELMONT: Bye.