Uploaded by cinejoshua on 22.07.2012

I swear, that duck was truly delicious.
But it wasn't just the duck. The red wine too, the spinach bread and the tomato soup...
Everything said: this is the restaurant where you should be.
It doesn't matter where you live or how much money you have.
This is where you must go to and this is where you must spend that money.
I must go all the way to Poland for that? - Kraków to be exact.
But really, imagine...
Everytime you lift your fork and take a bite, automatically you look up, thinking...
..."this is perfection".
I would go back right away. Just for that restaurant.
Too bad it's not there anymore.
When I gave my sincere compliments and a big tip, the waiter said the joint would close soon.
It was the most expensive street in the city. A bank would appear on that location. A money issue.
Nice. First you warm us up with good stories and then this anti-climax.
I can't just start with the bad news, can I? That ruins the atmosphere.
On top of that, I'm happier with this experience than I'm sad about the restaurant being gone.
You almost convinced me to go there. - Why don't you mention a good restaurant then?
I recall a good restaurant experience with Reinier.
No, this is making me mad. I'm totally through with this.
Look, I... - What did you say?
What do you want, huh?
What about you, Guus? Tell us. Your favourite restaurant.
I don't have a favourite, but I do remember a nice one. It was somewhere in Berlin.
I remember it because of the music. It was this '80s dance music.
Remember the name of this artist: The Egyptian Lover.
The Egyptian Lover? - That's right. That's him.
What's his real name? - I have no idea.
But he's from Egypt? - I don't know. I do know that his music is fantastic.
I heard it in a club the other day. You can really dance to it. Fantastic.
You know, people are forgetting the value of music.
They have a beer and get drunk. Or they have something else.
But you actually don't need that. Music already is an addiction.
No alcohol? What about that one time in Utrecht?
Do you want something else to drink, sir? - Yes. Wine. More wine, please.
I won't deny that I like red wine. - It was in Utrecht, wasn't it?
Well, it does sound you were a little drunk during that Egyptian music.
I will let you hear the music one day. - What is your place, Willem?
Willem never goes to restaurants.
Well, I like it here.
This is not a restaurant. It's a bar.
Talk about wine, I'll go get some more. Do you guys want anything?
Coffee, please. Black. - Coca-Cola.
I still have some.
What would you like?
One Coca-Cola, a black coffee and a white wine, please.
Make that two white wines.
Have you ever heard of the urban-overload hypothesis?
It means that there is so much stimulation in crowded cities that your mind avoids it completely.
So, you can actually wave a gun around here. - I really think somebody will see it.
Excuse me. This is a monologue, not a dialogue.
There is another theory, but I don't know the name of it. Maybe there isn't and I have discovered it myself.
In any case, thanks to these two theories it's possible for both of you to show a gun here, in public.
You can even shoot with it.
Here's the second theory: if something terrible happens, people don't realise that something happens in the first place.
What are we talking about? - Willem says that you can easily shoot a gun in this place.
Think about it. When there's a newsflash about something terrible, like an explosion...
...then there are always people saying: "I couldn't believe my eyes", or "It was like a movie."
This is Pepsi-Cola, not Coca-Cola.
So you really believe nobody will notice it when Johan shoots you with a gun?
By the way, somebody has to pay for this. I'm not going to be here all evening.
Well, why don't you do anything then? Don't look at me.
Why's that?
We should hurry up then. Do you already have someone in mind? - I do. You?
No, not really.
What's that?
A used hypodermic needle.
What the hell. That's not fair.
Well, now it's between the two of you.
Wait a minute. This doesn't make sense. How long does it take until those substances have an effect?
Let's see, an hour or two? - Mine about one hour.
So those two are still alive? - Exactly.
It doesn't count then, right? Nothing has happened.
Hold it. Basically they are still alive, but in fact they're already dead.
Come on. If I knew this beforehand I would've handled it like this too. This is not according to the agreement.
No, this was the agreement: we would do it in this restaurant, inconspicuously.
But now there are holes in our agreement.
It's not my problem that we used these holes in our advantage.
That the two of you didn't, that's your problem.
Where the hell is he going?
He doesn't want to be the last one. He's going to finish his job.
I am definitaly not paying.
Then you should make a move.
Do you remember what I said a moment ago?
You mean that weird "gun wave and shoot and nobody notices it theory"?
You're not going to risk our safety, Johan.
I don't want you to put us in danger. Don't listen to that theory of Willem.
Do you see that guy sitting over there?
Don't do it, man. You shouldn't. Not in public.
In the toilet? Okay. In the kitchen? Fine. But not in public, it's too conspicuous.
It's not conspicuous if you'll do it right, Johan.
Listen both very carefully. When you draw your gun, I'll start laughing.
You too, sweet little Guus.
That will make the effect of my theory stronger. Then everybody here will think it's part of a prank.
That it's fake what we're doing.
I will fire my shots. You will laugh.
All right.
Shots? Was that plural? You're a madman. - A madman with a silencer.
You're completely insane. Don't listen to that Willem guy. Forget it.
Did I miss anything? - Everything. Johan just proved Willem's theory.
Really? And who of us was first? - I believe we did it at the same time.
Then you should both pay. - No, we're not going to do that. There's only one loser, okay?
There are two victims now that are conspicuous. Two bodies.
It will only take a moment before one of those is discovered.
And then we'll just have fifteen minutes.
Fifteen minutes. That's the time we'll have before the police are here, okay?
Yes, but Willem and I are not it.
I think Reinier is it, because he took somewhat longer while you had already fired your shots.
I needed to fresh myself up first.
Look, actually my way is exactly the same as yours.
At the sip from the wine or at the stab from the needle the kill was already set.
When I walked in that toilet, my kill was set too. You can also see it that way.
Hey, wait a minute...
Come on. If you turn things round, I'll do the same thing.
Our way is completely different. You just can't compare it.
Then I don't compare. Who already killed someone?
All of us.
No, just Johan and I. Go to the toilet or look at that guy over there. What do you see? A corpse.
Yours are still walking around here.
Maybe you have not put anything in the wine. Maybe he has not even stabbed somebody.
Maybe you didn't kill that guy in the toilet.
Maybe you were just jerking off there. - Well, go look then. Go look then.
...fifteen minutes left.
Directed by Floris Noort & Joshua van 't Hoff
Written by Joshua van 't Hoff
Filmed and edited by Floris Noort