Whisker Wars LIVE - 11/28/12


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 28.11.2012

Transcript:
[MUSIC PLAYING]

BETH HOYT: Hey, Nate, I'm going to shave your face.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
BETH HOYT: Hello, my friends.
It's been so long since we last talked face
to face like this.
Just to recap, I'm Beth Hoyt.
This is My Damn Channel live.
And today is Wednesday, November, 28.
We've got a really great show for you.
It's got a lot to do with facial hair-- not mine.
Myk O'Connor from IFC's show "Whisker Wars" is here.
Epic beard time, people.
Also, I'm going to shave Nate's face, because no-shave
November is ending.
And you get to vote during the show on which beard shape.
And then I'll do it before your very eyes.
Nate is so scared.
It's going to be so fun.
Get in the chat, stay in the chat.
Right.
So last week we were away for Thanksgiving,
and now we are back.
Did you have a good Thanksgiving, if that's a
holiday you celebrate.
Do we celebrate Thanksgiving, or do we-- we
just like eat it.
It's a tradition.
We tradition it.
Thanksgiving for me-- it's like--
it's not like a whoo!
Although, this year my Thanksgiving did end in a
dance party.
Was it because I wanted to work off some pie or because
Robin came on?
Both.
But like I said, it's been a long time since we talked, so
let's do that right now.
What do you guys want to know?
Leave a comment.
Yay.
Let's get this going.
@astout712--
"I was going to ask you a question, but I wrote your
Twitter handle as thebesthoyt.
I mean, it's true, right?" Oh!
I am the best Hoyt.
I ask my mom that all the time--
like which of us is the best Hoyt?
And she's like, you, booboo.
Don't tell my brother and my sister that.
But it's true, of all my cousins and aunts and uncles
and people-- all them people named Hoyt--
no, that's terrible.
We're all good Hoyts.
But thanks for that.
That's fun.
Beth is a fun thing to pun off of best.
OK.
Here's another comment from YouTube.
Slappy Lawrence--
"How much crap did your mom give you at Thanksgiving
dinner when she brought out the mashed potatoes?
Were they instant or homemade?" Good memory.
Thanks a lot.
I've been trying to rub that over and not talk about it
again with my mom.
I don't know if any of you guys saw that episode when I
called my mom out for making instant mashed potatoes.
And she texted me in the middle the show and said I
lied like a rug and that she does make
potatoes from scratch.
Well, I avoided it this year, because I went home but I flew
back on Thanksgiving day and went to my friend's here in
New York City for Thanksgiving dinner.
So I didn't have her mashed potatoes, but I'm sure that
she spent all day mashing them handmade like the best Hoyt
that she is.
Well, there's more where that came from, like I'll show.
Or there will be if you make it happen.
So let's all show ourselves why a live show is more fun
than any other, because we get to hang out like this.
And because I may or may not cut Nate
when I shave his face.
OK.
When we get back, we'll show you the options to vote on.
But right now, I'm very, very pleased and proud to present
the world premiere of a brand new My Damn Channel original--
Jon Friedman Internet Program.
[VIDEO PLAYBACK]
ERIN & HER CELLO: It's the John Friedman Internet Program
on your world wide web.

[RAINING]
-I did not account for this much shitting.
ERIN & HER CELLO: It's the John Friedman Internet Program
on your world wide web.
-There's shit everywhere!
[LAUGHTER]
[ANIMAL NOISES]
EUGENE MIRMAN: Hi.
I'm Eugene Mirman and you're watching MyDamnChannel live
for some reason.

BETH HOYT: All righty.
I'm here with Nate-- floor manager extraordinaire, and
blogger exceptional.
Low fives all around.
His vlog is called "Okay Nate." You should
check it out later.
Because right now--
I said I would shave Nate's face.
It's going to happen in like a matter of minutes.
Nate, you look very nervous.
Your beard does not hide your fear.
NATE BENNETT: You just said that I--
you were going to maybe cut me.
That's--
BETH HOYT: Who knows.
Will you tell everyone, in case they don't know, what's
been going on and why you look kind of homeless.
NATE BENNETT: Sure, Beth.
I look like a reformed hobo because I was challenged
during our Hurricane Sandy Google Hangout show.
areasontowritehome suggested that I
participate in no-shave November.
And I gladly accepted.
So for the entire month I haven't shaved, trimmed, or
done anything to maintain up here.
And I gotta say, it's no Myk O'Connor beard, but my face
did its best.
BETH HOYT: It did.
You need a lot more time to get a Myk O'Connor beard, but
you guys will see that later.
Wait 'til you see that.
OK, it's all been leading up to today, you're
growing this out.
When you graciously donate your face for our
entertainment, which leads me to your role.
You get to vote in the chat on which look I should attempt.
Nate, I've narrowed down your options to three looks.
NATE BENNETT: Oh boy.
BETH HOYT: I hope you like them.
They are-- number one, the Honest Abe.
So we can go for that look.
NATE BENNETT: Yeah, historical accuracy.
BETH HOYT: The opposite of Movember, if you will.
NATE BENNETT: Yeah.
Anti-mustache.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
OK.
The Hulk Hogan is number two.
NATE BENNETT: Oh!
BETH HOYT: There we go.
NATE BENNETT: Whoa!
BETH HOYT: Wow.
NATE BENNETT: I don't think I have the bright enough facial
hair, but we can do our best.
BETH HOYT: Well, we can change the color.
But I don't know if you have enough hair growing in right
here to do the Hulk Hogan efficiently.
NATE BENNETT: Well, we can try.
BETH HOYT: Because you have a thin--
he has the--
he has the thick, think side there.
NATE BENNETT: I think I would need, like,
steroids to get as much--
BETH HOYT: You got to do what you got to do to get
that look so, OK.
Well, you can still vote on Hulk Hogan and we can make
that happen.
NATE BENNETT: OK.
BETH HOYT: Three, the Guy Fieri.
NATE BENNETT: Ugh!
BETH HOYT: That's a good one!
Look at that.
Like the little dippity doo in the bottom.
NATE BENNETT: Oh, my god.
BETH HOYT: And you can like dunk that in stuff.
NATE BENNETT: Do you have like a--
BETH HOYT: I don't know why.
NATE BENNETT: Do you have like a bowling shirt ready for me
afterwards or something?
BETH HOYT: You betcha.
You bet-- get a bowling shirt, get a bowling shirt.
OK, we got that.
We're going to-- we can make that happen.
Well then we'll-- then we'll bleach this part, which I hear
is great for your skin.
NATE BENNETT: Mm hm.
BETH HOYT: Wow.
Which one do you hope to get?
NATE BENNETT: Uh, you know, I--
BETH HOYT: They're all great options.
NATE BENNETT: I've never had one like that so--
BETH HOYT: OK, so any one is good.
NATE BENNETT: It'll be new to me, in a way.
BETH HOYT: Alright, we have a comment from you guys from
AndThenThereWereCats--
"Is the bald spot still there, Nate?" Let's
check out the hole.
NATE BENNETT: I knew you were going to ask that.
There it is.
BETH HOYT: There it is.
I just touched it.
NATE BENNETT: Thanks, genetics.
BETH HOYT: I thought maybe like you were going to start
speaking a different language or something.
NATE BENNETT: What?
BETH HOYT: I don't know.
Or something would happen or--
I don't know.
NATE BENNETT: There's no like secret-- it's not its kill
switch or something.
BETH HOYT: Wouldn't that be great if you had a hidden
talent when I pushed you button?
No, if there was one.
You don't have one.
Turns out Nate doesn't have a hidden talent when you push
his beard hole.
NATE BENNETT: Nope.
BETH HOYT: I think we should give your
beard a proper goodbye.
Do you have anything you want to say to your beard?
NATE BENNETT: Yeah.
I don't want to get too sentimental--
BETH HOYT: Yeah, me either.
NATE BENNETT: But I will say this.
BETH HOYT: But I'm here.
NATE BENNETT: OK.
I Beard, I don't mean it as a pun when I say you've grown on
me these past 28 days.
You've protected a small part of my
face against the elements.
You've surprised me by reminding me that I have red
hair, kind of.
And best of all, you've helped turn me from a slacker into
something productive.
I understand you better now, Myk.
I get why you love beards.
So I'll say goodbye to mine.
We'll always have that month of Instagram photos to
remember you by.
BETH HOYT: Wow, Nate.
That was really--
NATE BENNETT: Yeah, I don't know where that came from.
BETH HOYT: That was something--
something down deep.
Maybe that's what that button pushed, some sentimentality.
That was beautiful.
NATE BENNETT: Thanks.
BETH HOYT: So that was a proper goodbye.
And Oh, so yes, you took a photo every day on Instagram.
What's your Instagram so they can follow you?
NATE BENNETT: It's Nate Bennett.
BETH HOYT: It's Nate Bennett.
And we made a--
we took-- we made a video of all your photos.
So let's take a look at that time lapse from naked face to
Chevy Chase.
Here's Nate's no-shave November journey.

Wow.
NATE BENNETT: You just took like my super sentimental
thing and turned into like this little like
comic-y, one note.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
Well, when you see Myk's beard later, guys, you'll understand
why-- you just spent a month doing this.
You deserve a little, like, dingy noise.
NATE BENNETT: And his is like--
it's like a symphony.
BETH HOYT: Yes.
His is a symphony of a beard.
Wow.
How do you feel?
It's been a journey, though, for you the whole month there.
I like that turkey in the one picture.
NATE BENNETT: I-- yeah, me too.
Gotta get into the Thanksgiving spirit.
BETH HOYT: You do.
NATE BENNETT: I'm telling you, guys.
BETH HOYT: What-- so, how do you feel?
What have you learned?
What's going on now that you're about to cut it off?
NATE BENNETT: I guess I'm just ready to get it over with.
And I also don't know what everybody's going
to choose for me.
BETH HOYT: Right.
NATE BENNETT: I've never thought about having these
facial hair styles, so that's cool.
Try new things, right?
BETH HOYT: Right.
Put your vote in the chat.
Pick one, two, or three.
OK.
Again, your choices for the look Nate is about to get via
a razor in my hand to take on the streets of New York City
are-- one, the Honest Abe; two, the Hulk Hogan; three,
the Guy Fieri.
Vote for your favorite in the chat.
Write down one, two, or three, so we can tally them easily.
We shave Nate when we return from this brand new video from
the crazy McMayhem.
[VIDEO PLAYBACK]
-Graduation usually means it's the end of something.
But this is just the beginning.
McMAYHEM: You coming to our party?
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
McMayhem, McMayhem.
You didn't know?
Nah, he ain't playing.
McMAYHEM: Are you guys coming to my party tonight?
It's the last one before we go out into the world.
I have no STDs!
We've got Jolly Ranchers, inside Zimas, ro-- you like
romance, bitches?
We're getting girls to do body shots with other girls doing
body shots.
We're going to have girls do the elephant walk-- you don't
know what that is.
-No, I have no idea what that is.
McMAYHEM: It's where one girl puts her thumb in another
girl's butt and they walk around.
Great job in that play this semester.
Shakespeare isn't easy.
Yo, you guys going to stay together after your
graduation?
Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug.
OK, so you come in first, we get it done, you go home,
shower, come back.
When you come back, bring more chicks with you.
-Oh, OK.
McMAYHEM: You down?
-So it's like a train?
McMAYHEM: Yeah, yeah.
We're going to run trains.
Jello shots tonight!
Congratulations!
You know Johnny Date Rape's going to be in the building.
JOHNNY DATE RAPE: Just came back from the pharmacy.
McMAYHEM: I'm still undecided.
Even though I graduated, I'm one of those rare breeds.
We're going to get chicks going down on each other.
We're going to shave some bitches.
We got a trampoline.
I got a whole refrigerator filled with meatballs.
I'm going to have you throw them at people in the middle
of the night.
-Girls, right?
McMAYHEM: Yeah.
-OK.
McMAYHEM: I'm throwing water balloons at my dick.
-There's these other guys that are doing the same thing, and
they're much more exciting.
McMAYHEM: What are they doing?
-The same thing.
McMAYHEM: Like what do you mean?
-Except they're dressed in astronaut suits, and they said
they want to take me to the moon.
[THEME SONG PLAYS]
McMayhem!
DAVID CROSS: Hi, I'm David Cross.
And you're watching My Damn Channel live.
OK.
That's all right.
Is that one all right?

[VIDEO PLAYBACK ENDS]
BETH HOYT: Hello.
I hope you've been voting in the chat.
You still have time now to vote to shave Nate as either
one, Honest Abe, two, Hulk Hogan, or three, Guy Fieri.
As soon as I get him all ready to be shaven, we'll announce
the winner.
NATE BENNETT: I'm just saying goodbye a little bit more.
BETH HOYT: [INAUDIBLE] first stop OK, so we're setting up
the barber shop.
Nate, I want to make sure that your clothes don't get--
NATE BENNETT: Is that a trash bag?
BETH HOYT: Yup.
No, it's a-- it's a Bubba Gump bib.
NATE BENNETT: Oh.
BETH HOYT: There's Nate.
There he is.
NATE BENNETT: Oh.
I'm going to take the hood off, though.
Why-- where did you get a Bubba Gump--
BETH HOYT: When you eat it Bubba Gump, they give you this
so you don't get butter all over your clothes.
NATE BENNETT: Oh.
I guess that's kind of what's happening, right?
BETH HOYT: OK.
All right.
So you're all set there.
And how are you feeling?
Like, what's been going on?
What are you- are you going to a wedding this weekend?
NATE BENNETT: What are you-- what are you doing, Beth?
BETH HOYT: I'm like-- it's what they do when you go to a
hair salon.
NATE BENNETT: We don't do that at the barbershop.
No.
BETH HOYT: Barbershop.
Right.
Yeah, OK.
We can be barbershop-y.
NATE BENNETT: Yeah!
BETH HOYT: You look nervous.
I know what we can do.
Let's do this.
Here you go, Nate.
NATE BENNETT: Oh!
BETH HOYT: I want you to calm down, because--
NATE BENNETT: Oh, yeah.
Mm hmm.
BETH HOYT: This is a large shot glass.
NATE BENNETT: Pour faster!
BETH HOYT: That's a big one.
He's going to be fine.
I want you to be a little less nervous, and I'm also quite
nervous, as well.
NATE BENNETT: OK, wait.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You should probably have a steady hand when
you're doing this.
So maybe wait 'til after, right?
BETH HOYT: Yeah, sure.
OK, Nate.
I'll wait til after, because I should probably--
I don't want to make you more nervous thinking that I'm--
even though I am quite nervous about this, it's fine.
We should put this on, because your eyes are making me feel
like you're judging me with them.
NATE BENNETT: It's kind of relaxing.
BETH HOYT: [GULP]
So, OK.
Just-- well, we'll just like, you know--
NATE BENNETT: What was that?
Can you take it off?
I'm a little nervous now.
Can you just take it off?
BETH HOYT: Sure.
NATE BENNETT: I can--
I actually feel a lot better for you--
BETH HOYT: You don't like that?
Does that make you more nervous?
NATE BENNETT: A little bit, yeah.
BETH HOYT: That's fine.
All right, well, here's what we do next--
shaving cream.
This is the first time on the show that we've used shaving
cream as shaving cream.
NATE BENNETT: Yeah, and it's not just been like in a whale
or the ground or something.
BETH HOYT: Exactly.
NATE BENNETT: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: Um--
NATE BENNETT: Go for it.
BETH HOYT: I just go like this?
NATE BENNETT: I guess so.
Mmm.
That smells nice.
OK.
BETH HOYT: It's like putting whipped cream on a pie.
NATE BENNETT: Uh huh, I guess so.
BETH HOYT: Is that what this is like?
NATE BENNETT: Well, I don't know what putting whipped
cream on a pie is like.
BETH HOYT: Oh, oh.
Sorry if I'm getting that all in you mouth.
How does this work?
Boom.
Boom.
NATE BENNETT: You're using-- whoa, you're
using an electric razor?
BETH HOYT: Yeah, it's more fun, right?
It's like a toy.
NATE BENNETT: You can't use shaving cream with an electric
razor, Beth.
BETH HOYT: Oh.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Oh, well then let's just take this off.
NATE BENNETT: It's OK, because I think you over applied it.
[INAUDIBLE] to cleanse the palate.
BETH HOYT: Sure, Nate.
NATE BENNETT: I'm kidding.
No, just--
BETH HOYT: Sure.
Sure.
Here's a big towel.
You really got a lot.
NATE BENNETT: You gave me a lot.
BETH HOYT: I got it up your nose.
I'm sorry.
I didn't realize you couldn't put that on and then shave it
right off with that.
I thought--
I thought with an electric razor, you just get--
it would just-- it's really easy.
It's hard, right?
NATE BENNETT: No, no, it would get it like gunky.
BETH HOYT: Ooh, I have a hot towel for you.
NATE BENNETT: Oh, you do?
BETH HOYT: OK, yeah, this is--
NATE BENNETT: Oh, good.
BETH HOYT: --to open up your pores.
NATE BENNETT: Uh!
Dah!
Ahh!
BETH HOYT: It's so hot!
NATE BENNETT: Where did you get a boiling towel?
BETH HOYT: It's so hot.
It's been in-- it's been in boiling water.
We have a great production quality here.
BETH HOYT: I didn't see them do that.
BETH HOYT: This one's-- this one's a cool towel.
NATE BENNETT: Is it?
BETH HOYT: That's good to open up your pores, though.
NATE BENNETT: Is it?
OK.
Oh, god, OK.
BETH HOYT: It's going to open up your pores to get the--
NATE BENNETT: Mm hmm.
Here, I'll--
I'll--
I'll do it.
BETH HOYT: So scrub that down.
Is that enough off to shave, now?
Because I think it's time to get this puppy
shaped up on your face.
NATE BENNETT: I think it's time.
Yeah, I think I'm loosened up, and now I'm a little less
afraid of the actual shaving and more just--
BETH HOYT: Oh, you needed a little palate cleanser, right?
NATE BENNETT: Ah, yes, please.
BETH HOYT: And you-- no problem.
That's how good of a barber I am.
This bottle's really bottom-heavy, and that's why
it's hard to pour.
I'm just going to give you--
NATE BENNETT: Oh, halfsie.
BETH HOYT: I need you to still maybe have to assist me so.
I'm not trying to give you a halfsie.
All right.
NATE BENNETT: I got it.
I got it.
BETH HOYT: You guys.
I think your pores are really open from that hot towel.
Sorry about that.
I think you're ready.
Ladies and gentlemen, the winning look for Nate's face,
voted on by the people is [DRUMROLL]
NATE BENNETT: The Guy Fieri?
BETH HOYT: Zagpau, Guy Fieri!
All right, that's just one of them.
Obviously, most people voted for Guy Fieri.
OK, so that means--
wow.
I was kind of hoping for the Abe Lincoln, because it'd be
less look-- less of a work for me.
NATE BENNETT: I--
either way.
BETH HOYT: But now--
OK, we're going for the Guy Fieri.
So that means--
NATE BENNETT: There's your reference.
BETH HOYT: So I don't use this part?
NATE BENNETT: Gotta use this part.
BETH HOYT: Never done this.
But I shave my legs.
OK.
NATE BENNETT: Feels--
BETH HOYT: Say goodbye to your beard.
Oh!
NATE BENNETT: Goodbye, beard.
BETH HOYT: Oo.
Oh, that's easy.
NATE BENNETT: Yeah, you can go a little-- you can push a
little more on it.
It's fine.
BETH HOYT: Oh, can I?
Oh so you--
NATE BENNETT: There you go.
It's coming off!
BETH HOYT: Oh, god.
And this doesn't-- and don't you-- you sure you don't need
shaving cream?
NATE BENNETT: It's-- it might have helped.
Maybe it helped loosened it up a bit.
I don't know.
I'm-- it's not--
BETH HOYT: Are you sure I shouldn't put
some on now, though?
NATE BENNETT: No.
Definitely don't do that.
BETH HOYT: This is--
you guys all have three hours right now scheduled for this?
NATE BENNETT: Tell me a story, Beth.
BETH HOYT: I'm--
OK, um, one time I was shaving a duck.
No, that's terrible.
Why would I ever do that?
NATE BENNETT: I don't think that's a story you tell
somebody when you're shaving them.
BETH HOYT: When did you start shaving, Nate?
NATE BENNETT: I don't remember.
BETH HOYT: Oh, this is getting more and more easy.
I understand.
NATE BENNETT: I feel like maybe I did it in middle
school at one point just because I saw my dad do it and
then, like, that gets it started, you know.
I had like peach fuzz or something.
And then after that you just kind of--
it just became a habit, you know.
BETH HOYT: This part's hard with the neck.
You need to really-- yeah, just--
just go like that for me.
So what was that you were saying about
going against the grain?
NATE BENNETT: Yeah, it helps--
BETH HOYT: [GASP]
I just pulled a hair, I felt it.
NATE BENNETT: It's fine.
It's fine.
It didn't hurt.
Go ahead.
Be brave.
Be brave, Beth.
BETH HOYT: All right.
I'm going to just--
NATE BENNETT: You don't have to go that high.
BETH HOYT: Sorry.
Did I just ruin your face?
NATE BENNETT: I don't know.
BETH HOYT:I just chopped off one of Nate's sideburns.

NATE BENNETT: It's OK.
It'll grow back, probably.
BETH HOYT: It's going to be a good memory.
I just ruined--
Nate's just thinking about how like I just
ruined his whole look.
NATE BENNETT: Oh.
Hey, we have a comment.
BETH HOYT: OK, good, you read it.
NATE BENNETT: I'm going to toss it up while you're busy.
"She's using the trimmer attachment?
Ouch!" says Slappy Lawrence.
BETH HOYT: Oh, I thought that was your ouch.
NATE BENNETT: No.
It doesn't actually hurt.
That's the easier way to do it.
If she used the other thing, it would start yanking hair
out of my face.
Is that what you want?
BETH HOYT: I don't want to do that.
NATE BENNETT: No, you're good.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
Oh, thanks, Nate.
NATE BENNETT: That's the best way to do it.
For the fine tuning.
BETH HOYT: So, oh--
Do you--
So do you use the little tricky tool part?
NATE BENNETT: Turkey tool part?
BETH HOYT: Tricky.
This part.
Oo!
That's on.
NATE BENNETT: Yeah, it's on.
They're all on.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
I'm like sh--
I-- my-- like my butt is shaking, I'm so
nervous right now.
NATE BENNETT: You don't tell somebody you're shaving that
your butt is shaking.
BETH HOYT: Oh.
I'm sorry.
We're almost done, here.
NATE BENNETT: Almost.
BETH HOYT: I don't--
I'm too--
I don't know if I can do your neck.
That scares me.
NATE BENNETT: You can do the neck.
You can do it.
BETH HOYT: Yeah?
What do you think, guys?
Go for it.
NATE BENNETT: Yeah, go for it.
BETH HOYT: Up!

Oh, man.
OK.
NATE BENNETT: Now I'm a little nervous.
BETH HOYT: Yeah?
Because I like have you in a choke hold?
NATE BENNETT: Mm hmm.
BETH HOYT: Look, I'm not looking.
NATE BENNETT: What?
Watch what you're doing.
BETH HOYT: Oh, there's shaving cream.
Uh oh.
We've encountered a shaving cream, again.
NATE BENNETT: We have a Twitter post comment question.
Myk O'Connor-- "Don't shave Nate."
BETH HOYT: I know.
When we told Myk that we were shaving
Nate, he got very upset.
NATE BENNETT: I'm sorry, Myk.
BETH HOYT: How are we doing-- we need you to grow this and
we need to-- we need to make this white.
NATE BENNETT: And we need like check marks here that go up.
BETH HOYT: Here we go.
NATE BENNETT: There it is.
BETH HOYT: This is how you make it Guy Fieri.
But we need a little--
NATE BENNETT: Ah!
Look, spitting image.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
Did I do it?
Nate, you--
I think you look amazing.
NATE BENNETT: Take me to Denny's.
BETH HOYT: We did it.
I'm sorry that I maybe shortened your side burn.
You look fabulous.
You're about to see what Nate would look like if he didn't
shave for 30 years, because up next we're joined by Myk
O'Connor from IFC's "Whisker Wars," the second season of
which started last Friday night.
Get your questions in for him about bearding and about the
show right now.
If you've never seen "Whisker Wars," here's a clip.
[VIDEO PLAYBACK]
MYK O'CONNOR: I was told in Portland, at the Portland
competition that I stole a signature move but
I also did it wrong.
So my plan is, tonight I'm stealing JP's move, I'm
borrowing Allen Demling's move, and I'm combining the
two where I will do it, and I'm going to point at Mr. Jack
Passion to the guns.
-Go for it, baby.
Go for it.
-You have to choose-- it's either me or the internet.
-Hmm.
-Your ex-girlfriend sounds like such a bitch.
-I know, right?
MICHAEL SHOWALTER: Hey, I'm Michael Showalter.
You're watching My Damn Channel live.

[END VIDEO PLAYBACK]
BETH HOYT: Hi.
I am here with Myk O'Connor from IFC's "Whisker Wars."
Welcome, Myk.
Thank you for being here.
MYK O'CONNOR: Thanks for having me.
BETH HOYT: Our pleasure.
You guys, now is your time to get your questions in for Myk.
Put them in the chat right now.
Myk, we're letting the internet
have at you in a minute.
But first, I have some questions.
So "Whisker Wars" just started its second
season last Friday night.
What--
How is life different for you now that the
first season has aired?
I mean, I assume you were always someone who kind of got
second looks.
MYK O'CONNOR: Yeah, I--
my biggest thing is, I don't know if people are actually,
like, staring at me because of the show and they recognize
me, or if it's just because I have a beard.
It's like, you know, when you see a bunch of Asians, you
know, you're just kind of like--
I don't know, they all look alike!
And it's like when somebody says, like, Hey, ZZ Top to me.
It's just as offensive as if I said-- hey,
Jackie Chan, you know.
Like, we all kind of feel like we all look alike so.
BETH HOYT: Right.
I hear you.
Um, what's-- so--
MYK O'CONNOR: That wasn't offensive.
BETH HOYT: I'm just going to--
No.
We understand that.
Yeah, we want your own beard.
You are your own beard.
Speaking of-- yeah, so who was your biggest
rival on the show?
MYK O'CONNOR: This season it's Jack Passion.
BETH HOYT: Jack Passion.
MYK O'CONNOR: Jack Passion.
BETH HOYT: There he is.
Man, just flaunting that red beard.
MYK O'CONNOR: He has no mustache.
BETH HOYT: There it is.
MYK O'CONNOR: He has no mustache.
BETH HOYT: You have one heck of a mustache.
So tell me, you trim this part?
MYK O'CONNOR: No, not at all.
BETH HOYT: You don't have trim this--
MYK O'CONNOR: No.
I part it to the side so that I can give kisses, smoke
cigarettes, and eat food.
But other than that, we're married and have a kid and we
met actually in 2009 at the World Beard and Mustache
Competition that was in Alaska.
BETH HOYT: Wow.
MYK O'CONNOR: So, you never know.
BETH HOYT: That's a good place to find love, I feel like.
MYK O'CONNOR: Absolutely.
It was beautiful.
The sun set a little bit, because it doesn't go down all
the way, and then it goes back up.
So we're sitting in a hot tub together.
BETH HOYT: Like, it's a sunset, kind of.
MYK O'CONNOR: Looking at it.
Yeah.
We fell in love.
BETH HOYT: No.
In a hot tub in Alaska, it sounds like a recipe.
What-- she's your beard coach?
MYK O'CONNOR: Uh, yeah.
BETH HOYT: What does that mean?
MYK O'CONNOR: So a beard coach basically-- she
actually has a--
like a Batman utility belt that has all sorts of
different brushes and combs and
hairspray, things like that.
And--
and then, you know, she helps everyone else, but then when
it's my turn to go on stage she gives me the nice
encouragement, makes sure that I look the best that I
possibly can.
BETH HOYT: Like-- like what's an encouraging phrase to give
someone before a beard competition?
MYK O'CONNOR: So--
well, she has really--
she's Polish.
So her English can be broken a little bit.
She's been here for 18 years or so but she still has that
Polish tinge.
And she'll say-- baby, your beard looks the best
out of every one.
BETH HOYT: Oh, good.
I get it.
MYK O'CONNOR: That was almost Russian, actually.
BETH HOYT: So it's like a confidence builder.
MYK O'CONNOR: Absolutely.
BETH HOYT: Which you need from her mostly.
MYK O'CONNOR: Absolutely.
BETH HOYT: What are-- what are your strategies
for the second season?
Like, what-- what-- what do you do going into a season of
bearding competitions to really--
MYK O'CONNOR: It's-- you know, it's difficult.
BETH HOYT: Like how is it different?
MYK O'CONNOR: I have no idea.
BETH HOYT: Yes you do.
MYK O'CONNOR: A lot of-- a lot of things that I do to
personally get ready for a competition is, weeks in
advance, I'll start to, you know, really take a look at,
like, what split ends I have, things like that.
I do a hot oil treatment once a week on my beard, which is
jojoba oil.
You put it on, you wrap it in a plastic bag around your
face, and then you just kind of blow dry over it, and it
heats it up, it protects the beard.
BETH HOYT: I can tell you've got some hot oil treatments.
BETH HOYT: Can I touch it?
MYK O'CONNOR: Absolutely.
BETH HOYT: Oh, yeah.
MYK O'CONNOR: Right?
It's nice.
BETH HOYT: It is nice.
So the hot oil treatment.
And then like it's just when was the last time
you saw your face?
MYK O'CONNOR: Well, I've always had facial hair of some
sort at any given time
BETH HOYT: Even like three or four or five years old?
MYK O'CONNOR: Yeah.
Yeah, probably about that long.
About 15 or 16 years or so.
BETH HOYT: So you always--
MYK O'CONNOR: Oh, wait.
That's--
I don't know.
I'm almost 30.
I have no math.
BETH HOYT: No, it's fine.
MYK O'CONNOR: No math!
BETH HOYT: It's better to not know those years.
Once you get past like--
MYK O'CONNOR: The last time I had it all shaved off was
about four years ago.
I went for a job interview.
I had long hair.
And I had a, you know, maybe a beard about this long.
And--
I was like, I'm going to go in shock-and-awe.
I showed up in a suit and tie, cut my hair, shaved beard, and
I didn't get the job, which is good because now I'm on TV.
BETH HOYT: Because then you figured out what your true
potential was.
MYK O'CONNOR: I'm on TV, and I'm on My Damn Channel live,
and that would not have happened.
BETH HOYT: Well, maybe there'd be something else you'd be
doing, it wouldn't be for this.
MYK O'CONNOR: You don't want to see those tapes.
BETH HOYT: OK.
You're right.
Well beside not shaving, what are some other tips you can
give young men, like future beard growers?
MYK O'CONNOR: My biggest is--
BETH HOYT: Is there a diet for, you know--
MYK O'CONNOR: Beer.
I take--
I take vitamins.
I take Omega 3s, whether they're in pill form or, you
know, I try to eat healthy.
I'm really not that healthy.
So I supplement with vitamins.
Omega 3s, vitamin E, fish oil, things like that.
But, ultimately, it comes down to--
excuse me.
BETH HOYT: You're excused.
MYK O'CONNOR: Thank you.
It ultimately comes down to--
is whether or not you have good genes.
If you don't have good genes, you might not be able to grow
something so spectacular, but there is hope.
I don't know which camera to look at, but there is hope.
Give it maybe about six months.
I say at the minimum six months, give it a year.
See how you really look in whatever facial hair that
you're going to grow.
And then just kind of-- if-- you might not be able to grow,
obviously, something like this.
Not everyone can.
BETH HOYT: Because either you got it or you don't.
MYK O'CONNOR: Exactly.
BETH HOYT: So I think [INAUDIBLE] was like, you got
it or you don't, but wait six months to find out.
MYK O'CONNOR: Right.
And if you have something good going, you know, you might
want to grow it out a little bit more.
Or, like, you might not have a whole lot of beard going on,
but you might have a glorious mustache.
BETH HOYT: Right.
You have both.
I also like how it's two-toned.
MYK O'CONNOR: It-- it really is.
I don't--
BETH HOYT: It's really--
MYK O'CONNOR: I don't dye it.
I'm not Guy.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
I mean, this--
MYK O'CONNOR: Just don't sue me.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
No, we won't, definitely not, for that.
Does--
does Jack Passion dye it?
His beard is so red.
MYK O'CONNOR: There--
there's some controversy.
I think he might dye it.
BETH HOYT: OK.
Maybe spread the rumor.
MYK O'CONNOR: I think he might.
BETH HOYT: We have another quick look at the show that
involves Jack Passion.
You guys are going to understand a little more of
what's happening here when we talk about Jack.
Let's show that clip.
[VIDEO PLAYBACK]
-From New York City, Mr. Myk O'Connor.
[CHEERING & APPLAUSE]
JACK PASSION: My famous beard swipe, that's a
Jack Passion move.
You don't steal from the master.
It's like a girl with nothing up there trying to show off
some cleavage.
-After a final inspection by the judges, the competitors
leave the stage.
MYK O'CONNOR: As soon as Jack finishes up on the stage, he
make a straight bee line towards me.
JACK PASSION: Myk, I love that thing you did when you were up
on the stage.
I like that you tried to steal my move.
MYK O'CONNOR: A move like a beard fluff
that everybody does.
JACK PASSION: I think you picked some bad friends and
they might have influenced you against me and that's stupid.
That's just stupid.
MYK O'CONNOR: I don't think I ever said
that I'm against you.
JACK PASSION: Congratulations on your daughter.
OK.
Think of the kind of father you want to be.
MYK O'CONNOR: Of all the things to say, to bring my
family in and bring what kind of father I want to be to my
unborn child--
JACK PASSION: All right.
MYK O'CONNOR: That totally crossed the line.
Until he admits his mistake to me, I'm not
going to let it go.

-"Whisker Wars." This time it's personal.
Fridays at 10.
Starts November 23rd.
[END VIDEO PLAYBACK]
BETH HOYT: Hi my friends.
I'm back.
I'm joined by "Whisker Wars" competitor Myk O'Connor.
You probably have lots of questions for Myk.
I want to see them and Myk wants to answer them.
So get them in the chat.
We have a Twitter question right now.
MYK O'CONNOR: Twitter!
BETH HOYT: This is from Jack Passion.
He says, "My mustache says, 'Hey guys!' "
MYK O'CONNOR: But it says it in a little kid's voice.
BETH HOYT: It's--
Yeah, that's why I said it.
MYK O'CONNOR: Hi guys.
BETH HOYT: But hi, hi Jack.
MYK O'CONNOR: All in good fun, Jack.
BETH HOYT: I can't grow a mustache
either, try as I might.
MYK O'CONNOR: All in good fun.
BETH HOYT: Myk, my first question for you before we
begin some other questions is, Can I French braid your-- it's
OK if I-- if I can't, because I understand, you know, that
this is like your tool, Myk.
But can I maybe French braid your hair while--
MYK O'CONNOR: Is there a difference between a French
braid and a regular braid?
BETH HOYT: Uh huh.
MYK O'CONNOR: Oh.
BETH HOYT: Oh, but it just means that it starts and then
I gather hair as like as we go.
MYK O'CONNOR: I have no idea what that
means, but at some point--
BETH HOYT: I going to be really, really gentle.
MYK O'CONNOR: At some point I'm pretty good.
I'm down for it.
BETH HOYT: You're not down for it?
MYK O'CONNOR: I'm down.
BETH HOYT: Because I thought that was like a very passive
aggressive way of saying, I'm not down for it.
MYK O'CONNOR: I would love if you did-- don't do it.
No, no, do it.
BETH HOYT: Mixed messages.
I'm going to do it very gently.
MYK O'CONNOR: OK.
BETH HOYT: We have a comment.
MYK O'CONNOR: Oh.
BETH HOYT: And this is from brittanymungo21.
"Can Beth braid your hair in a fishtail braid!!" Yeah, OK.
MYK O'CONNOR: Thanksgiving I did that.
Thanksgiving.
BETH HOYT: Oh, so you do-- someone braided it?
MYK O'CONNOR: My wife.
I--
I-- you know, I braid it when I have to.
I have a baby now, she's five months.
And so she-- when I hold her, she likes to grab on.
BETH HOYT: Who wouldn't?
MYK O'CONNOR: Right?
BETH HOYT: I'm fighting it right now.
MYK O'CONNOR: She's like a little monkey.
BETH HOYT: So bad.
MYK O'CONNOR: And she wants to climb up on daddy, and so I
have to braid it so that at least she doesn't get caught
so much into it.
BETH HOYT: OK, so it's OK.
It's been braided.
MYK O'CONNOR: Yeah, it's been braided.
BETH HOYT: I'm very good at French braiding, but I've
never had someone-- like, it facing me.
Usually, when French braid, that means they have to turn
around and this is just kind of too--
MYK O'CONNOR: If you do it from behind--
BETH HOYT: Well, I'm doing it on a girl.
MYK O'CONNOR: Oh.
BETH HOYT: And I was on the basketball team, you know--
MYK O'CONNOR: I'm a boy.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
I know.
That's why I really want to just get in there.
MYK O'CONNOR: Are we doing this right now?
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
While we-- but you can keep looking at them.
So you have the New York City beard competition coming up.
Can you talk about that?
MYK O'CONNOR: That is correct.
BETH HOYT: I'm going to be gentle.
MYK O'CONNOR: So, OK, yeah.
December 8th, which is next Saturday, we have the New York
City Beard and Mustache Competition
at Warsaw in Brooklyn.
It's in the Greenpoint neighborhood.
It's $15 in advance, $20 at the door.
All proceeds go to the MS Society New York City chapter.
We have 13 categories, 2 women's, which are most
realistic, most fantastic.
You need to be there.
BETH HOYT: What does that mean?
MYK O'CONNOR: That-- well, what I just explained.
BETH HOYT: Most realistic, most--
oh, I gotcha.
MYK O'CONNOR: Yeah.
So it's a fake beard Unless you have a real beard, which
is awesome.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, I do want to see this.
MYK O'CONNOR: And there's a few that have--
I've seen them, they have beards, they have real beards.
BETH HOYT: To win the competition, they have to.
MYK O'CONNOR: So we have 13 categories.
We're going to have pierogies, belly dancers, bands--
BETH HOYT: Those are types of beards?
MYK O'CONNOR: All sorts of fun, raffle.
BETH HOYT: No, just kidding.
We have a comment from YouTube.
This is from Travis Oliver-- "Myk, do you think we'll be
drinking at the Warsaw the entire night or jumping around
after that?
I've got some people that might meet up later." Very
technical good question.
Are you going to hand out at Warsaw after or are you going
to go hop around?
MYK O'CONNOR: Well, fortunately, this year we
don't have a curfew so we could be there all night.
But I am going to make a special hashtag on Twitter so
you can keep up with us.
It'll probably be like New York City Beards and you can
follow us and find out where we're going to go.
But it's-- there's a meet and greet on
Friday, the day before.
So you might want to come to that.
And then Saturday, the competition.
And then there's a hangover brunch on Sunday.
BETH HOYT: A whole weekend.
This is awesome.
I also love that-- sounds like your friends know that
whenever you have an event that it's not just going to
the show, it's a whole night of partying and having fun and
hanging out.
MYK O'CONNOR: Exactly.
BETH HOYT: Celebrating beards.
MYK O'CONNOR: Yeah, it's a lot of fun.
BETH HOYT: It's great.
Here's another Twitter question.
This is from Brontis Orengo. "This is my first time
watching a live comedy show on the internetz.
You're taking my Liveginity!" Popped.
MYK O'CONNOR: I hope it was special.
BETH HOYT: Me too.
Sorry to bring out the razor on your first time.
MYK O'CONNOR: Mmm.
BETH HOYT: Yikes.
That's not the first time for me--
No, yeah.
MYK O'CONNOR: I don't even know what you're doing.
Is this working?
BETH HOYT: Yeah, well it's got--
there was some tangles in this side.
I'm trying to be very gentle.
It is working.
MYK O'CONNOR: Oh.
BETH HOYT: This is beau--
gosh, your hair is amazing.
It's so, like, resilient.
I feel like even if-- it's like it just has an
interesting texture but if feels like, you can tell it's
been through a lot, seen a lot.
MYK O'CONNOR: It's traveled the world.
BETH HOYT: It has.
MYK O'CONNOR: And has met a lot of really good people
along the way.
BETH HOYT: Especially down here.
MYK O'CONNOR: Yeah, the down here part--
BETH HOYT: So this hair is like senior teens.
MYK O'CONNOR: Maybe.
BETH HOYT: Right?
Maybe.
Here's another Twitter question.
This is from Joshuwa Jenkins.
"Give us tips!
Blue Beards any good?
Cool shower wash with Blue Beards, blow dry, wonder
beard, brush--" Jo-- that was the-- is that the wax, is that
the hot wax you were talking about?
MYK O'CONNOR: Jojoba.
Wow.
You-- you've pretty much said everything that
I absolutely recommend.
BETH HOYT: Are there any tips beyond those?
MYK O'CONNOR: I would say, like,
definitely use Blue Beards.
Or if you're going to wash your beard at all--
BETH HOYT: What's Blue Beards?
MYK O'CONNOR: Blue Beards, it's-- they actually-- it's a
beard shampoo I use to clear out any impurities that are in
your facial hair.
The best thing is, obviously, use something that doesn't
involve a lot of chemicals, things like that.
And you want to be able to make sure that you rinse it
out very well.
I would suggest trimming split ends and
that's the only trimming.
Don't trim the mustache.
You know, don't trim anything else.
Nate, I'm looking at you.
BETH HOYT: You had to do it.
MYK O'CONNOR: And then definitely you know use the
jojoba oil.
You use it-- either use it one of two ways.
I do a hot wax once a week but I also put
it in daily as well.
It just creates a protective seal around your facial hair.
And you want to be able to do that because you're-- you're--
you're going to run into impurities anywhere you go and
you want to protect it as much as you can.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
What has happened?
I mean, I feel like this must be hard to carry
around every day.
MYK O'CONNOR: Absolutely.
BETH HOYT: Has it like, has it gotten in
your way when you're--
MYK O'CONNOR: Well, I live in New York City, So I take the
subway everywhere.
BETH HOYT: No, don't even tell me.
MYK O'CONNOR: And I've--
BETH HOYT: No.
MYK O'CONNOR: You know, you're standing there at the doors,
as I often do, because I like to be able to, whoosh, run out
just in case anything goes down on the subway.
And I'm standing near the door
BETH HOYT: I'd think you know you can't do that motion.
MYK O'CONNOR: And the thing makes a noise, and--
and then all of a sudden the doors close and but there's a
gust of wind that just happens to, whoosh,
and then got caught.
My dear beard got caught.
BETH HOYT: Like where, here?
MYK O'CONNOR: It got--
yeah, it got caught about this much.
And I'm standing there, I'm like, Ah, man, what do I do?
BETH HOYT: Were you more fearful--
were you more fearful that it was going to pull on your face
or that you were going to lose that part of your beard?
MYK O'CONNOR: Both.
BETH HOYT: They're both scary.
MYK O'CONNOR: And then I thought it was- fires were
going to erupt and-- and people were going to panic and
trample me.
Thankfully, it was only between 1st and 3rd
Avenue, so I had--
BETH HOYT: That's still enough time for panic.
MYK O'CONNOR: Two minutes.
But it was-- it was--
BETH HOYT: Luckily.
MYK O'CONNOR: You got to-- you got to be aware of when you
wear something this tall, tall thing.
BETH HOYT: I know.
Luckily, I've got you travel--
I've got you travel safe here.
MYK O'CONNOR: Look at that.
Look at that.
I'm like--
I'm like three years ago.
BETH HOYT: And I tied it into a little-- little bun.
MYK O'CONNOR: Oh my god.
BETH HOYT: Here it is.
Here's a Twitter question.
MYK O'CONNOR: I don't even know what to say.
BETH HOYT: You've got like a little knot.
I know, me either.
thechloeandlilyish "What's the weirdest thing you have found
in your beard?"
MYK O'CONNOR: Um, traveling a lot, I've--
I've had to go through TSA quite a bit.
And I had forgotten that I had made a joke
to a friend of mine.
I said, watch this, I'm going to just--
I put a cigarette in my beard.
And I said, watch, either they'll find it or they won't,
and I want to see if they-- if they're going to
really do their job.
And so I go through and I refused the body scanners.
Refuse the body scanners.
And I did--
I had to do the pat down.
And the guy-- the guy was talking to me about my beard
and everything.
And I was like, yeah, this is what I do, I go to
competitions, whatever.
And then he finally starts to make his way up there, and
then he's like, what's that?
And I'm like, Uh, what do you mean?
And then he pulls out a cigarette, and I go, Oh, man,
I totally forgot that I had that in there.
BETH HOYT: Oh, that's where that went?
MYK O'CONNOR: And he-- but he actually-- he had to test it
for drugs because he thought I was bringing in weed.
BETH HOYT: Right.
Really trying to sneak it in there.
MYK O'CONNOR: Which, you know, whatever.
You have a 50/50 shot that you're going to either get
caught or not.
BETH HOYT: But like you'd think you'd, I mean, that he'd
know that you'd think a little, maybe not.
I guess you could stick things in there.
MYK O'CONNOR: You can stick things in there.
BETH HOYT: It's a great tool if like you're eating dinner
at someone's house and you just don't quite like it or
they didn't know you know vegetarian.
MYK O'CONNOR: It's-- it's like the Seinfeld episode.
Oh, mutton.
[MUMBLE]
And you hide it away.
I do not want to eat that.
BETH HOYT: Are you glad it's winter?
Is it keep-- because it probably keeps you warm.
Is it tough for summer?
MYK O'CONNOR: That's the great thing, is-- is in the
summertime all of the people that pass by me on the
streets, they want to say a little comment here and there.
And they're like, hey, nice beard.
Why don't you shave that off?
You know, that's my New York accent.
BETH HOYT: And then you feel like--
MYK O'CONNOR: And then-- and then this past couple weeks
ago, right after Sandy, we had that nor'easter.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, cold week.
MYK O'CONNOR: And I-- like, the trains were down and stuff
so I had to walk a mile from the-- as if it's a big deal--
but a mile from the train station to my house.
And it was-- it was just snowing everywhere.
And everyone's like, oh, I'm so cold.
And I'm like, I'm like in a t-shirt and shorts.
You know, rocking some flip flops.
BETH HOYT: And you're like, yeah, your blanket when you
need it and you can just wear it.
MYK O'CONNOR: Yeah.
And it's like, I don't have to-- my face is warm, and
that's an important part of your body to keep warm.
BETH HOYT: Absolutely.
MYK O'CONNOR: So.
BETH HOYT: That's why you wear the ski mask things.
MYK O'CONNOR: Summertime it sucks, but whatever, you know,
you learn to deal with it.
BETH HOYT: Good thing you live in New York until it becomes
summer all the time.
You're not worried about that.
MYK O'CONNOR: Global warming?
BETH HOYT: What do you think about this?
MYK O'CONNOR: I like it.
I like it.
BETH HOYT: And you could-- if you keep it in for like a day,
it'll become-- it'll get--
MYK O'CONNOR: It's off to the side.
BETH HOYT: I know.
That's because I was-- that's because I was over here.
No, it's fine.
I like it that way.
It has character.
It looks more like an elephant trunk that's like in motion.
MYK O'CONNOR: That's the second time today I've heard
elephant trunk.
The other one was about like the finger up the butt.
Which I laughed at, by the way.
BETH HOYT: What-- is that a thing?
[INTERPOSING VOICES]

I don't know.
MYK O'CONNOR: On your show.
BETH HOYT: Oh, oh.
Um, that was right.
I thought you meant it was like a--
like a--
OK.
MYK O'CONNOR: There's a real thing.
There was a graffiti--
BETH HOYT: I know.
I was like, I don't know this.
MYK O'CONNOR: --of a finger up somebody's butt.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, gotcha.
But if you look, this seems like in a day it'll become
crimped, like, you know?
I don't know.
I used to do this myself all the time.
My hair-- my braids, too.
MYK O'CONNOR: I think you kind of-- you probably
still do it, right?
Don't say you-- you used to.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
I just don't do it as often only just because
I don't have time.
But if you leave a braid in for a day, and it gets all--
it gets nice and, like, crimped and it has a kink.
MYK O'CONNOR: I don't like that.
BETH HOYT: Could be--
I don't know, maybe giving my friend free beard tips just
for, like, adding new style in, like, 2012.
MYK O'CONNOR: I like it.
BETH HOYT: I have a lot of fashion tips I can offer.
MYK O'CONNOR: There's only a few weeks left in 2012.
BETH HOYT: I know.
MYK O'CONNOR: 2013.
Look into the future.
BETH HOYT: It's over in 2013.
The crimped look is out.
That's all I think we have for beard info.
So you're on "Whisker Wars" on IFC.
IFC is so awesome.
Fridays at 10/9 Central.
Season two just started last week.
Where else can people find you?
At the New York City Beard Competition.
MYK O'CONNOR: At the New York City Beard Competition.
BETH HOYT: And your Twitter?
MYK O'CONNOR: --on December 8th.
And my Twitter feed is Myk--
M-Y-K--
O'Connor--
O-C-O-N-N-O-R. You can look up the
Gotham City Beard Alliance.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, do that.
Go out and party with them.
That would be fun.
MYK O'CONNOR: Party with us.
It's fun.
BETH HOYT: I want to come.
I really want to go to see all those competitions.
MYK O'CONNOR: It's a lot of fun.
It's a lot of fun.
BETH HOYT: And see the real lady beards.
MYK O'CONNOR: It's like a dog show for men.
BETH HOYT: And women.
MYK O'CONNOR: And the women.
And the women.
BETH HOYT: That's what I want to see.
OK.
Good luck this season.
Thank you so much for being here.
OK, when we get back, more of your questions about anything.
We can even bring Nate back out if you want.
You can see him again.
I forgot that I shaved his face, and I
just caught a glimpse.
But I have still got a brand--
I mean, we've got a-- now got a brand new episode from one
of our favorites.
Dan St. Germain is kicking Dan out, and this one's called
"Shell of a Mor-mon."
[VIDEO PLAYBACK]
[KNOCKING]
BRENT THE MORMON: Hello, sir.
Do you have a few minutes to talk about our Lord and Savior
Jesus Christ?
DAN: You mind if I use your bathroom to take a shit?
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
BRENT THE MORMON: Well, we at the Church of Latter Day
Saints believe that the Godhead is
divided into three parts--
God the Father, his son Jesus Christ--
DAN: -Just to let you know, there was a piece of shit
clogging the toilet before I got in there
that wasn't my shit.
BRENT THE MORMON: This is Dan.
He's a new recruit.
DAN: Hey, is this a communal inhaler?
JOHN: Uh, I have asthma.
DAN: Check out how long I can hold it.
All right?
BRENT THE MORMON: No.
DAN: [INHALES]
I'll Slow clap, slow clap.
No?
All right.
Ram jam, ram jam.
[COUGHING]
BRENT THE MORMON: What a lot of people don't know about
Jesus Christ is that he is--
DAN: He was ripped.
BRENT THE MORMON: Well, Jesus actually was
in good shape, but--
DAN: Yeah, that sexy man "v" that leads to the crotch area.
Guy had Avatar body.
Unbelievable.
BRENT THE MORMON: Sir, do you mind me
asking, do you live alone?
JOHN: My wife passed two years ago.
BRENT THE MORMON: I'm sorry to hear that.
DAN: Two years ago?
Get back on that market.
Fetch that titty, as Whoopi Goldberg would say in "How
Stella Got Her Groove Back."
BRENT THE MORMON: We are in end times.
And ultimately there is only one way to stave off
temptation of Satan, and that is to--
DAN: Rock and roll!
BRENT THE MORMON: No.
No.
It is to follow the word of Christ and preserve yourself a
place in the new Eden.
DAN: New Eden?
Is that where those forty-year-olds go to fuck on
"Real Sex?"
BRENT THE MORMON: Excuse me one second.
DAN: Oh, man.
BRENT THE MORMON: Dan, you need to
take this more seriously.
DAN: I'm wearing the fucking outfit.
BRENT THE MORMON: Your-- your name tag
says, Pussy Tron 3000.
DAN: I be eating pussies for the machine's race,
motherfucker.
BRENT THE MORMON: Dan, Dan, get out.
Just leave.
DAN: Fuck you, dude.
I'm a fucking scientologist now.
And that's right, I'm going to fly around in a spaceship and
keep him from knowing which self-hating
celebrities are gay.
Fucking NBA jam slash Space Jam slash Michael Jordan slash
X Games to the wild fucking Cherry Pepsi MAX.
BRENT THE MORMON: You don't have enough money to be a
scientologist.
DAN: I can read, OK?
BRENT THE MORMON: That's not what I just said.
DAN: Whatever!
[INHALES]
I'm sorry.
I thought that was inhaler, it's computer dust remover.

[INHALES]
It's pretty fucking good, though.
You guys want to hit it?
[THEME SONG PLAYS]
DAN: Looks like a V, right?
Like a-- like a really fat V?
[INHALES]
Mmm, make me feel good, "Monster's Ball" style.
GILBERT GOTTFRIED: Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried, and you're
watching My Damn Channel live.

[VIDEO PLAYBACK ENDS]
BETH HOYT: How are you guys doing?
I tell you what--
I'm glad I don't grow facial hair, because, like, I have to
wax and pluck it, because it's not socially acceptable for
women to have hair except these women who are entering
the bearding contest.
But I do think it'd be really fun to, like, grow stuff on
your face and have a choices like a beard or a mustache or
I could just French braid my hair.
Or dying it like we're going to dye Nate's
beard like Guy Fieri.
My face doesn't grow hair like that though.
But what I can do is show you what I woud look like with all
different kinds of beards.
So I brought all my wigs in.
While I do this, you can ask me anything.
It's question time.
Nate, why don't you come out here so I can toss all the
hard questions to you.
NATE BENNETT: I haven't looked at it again.
Oh, god.
BETH HOYT: There it is.
NATE BENNETT: Guy Fieri.
That's Guy Fieri, right?
BETH HOYT: Right.
It's just like, dive-ins and ugh!
NATE BENNETT: Dumpsters and drive-ins.
BETH HOYT: Dumpsters?
NATE BENNETT: And dives?
Right?
Dumpsters, I don't know.
BETH HOYT: Dumpster diving.
He like dives into dumpsters and pulls out food.
NATE BENNETT: Dumpster diving!
Yeah, OK.
BETH HOYT: Here's a Twitter question.
This is from TyJoWa.
"Beth from MyDamnChannel is wearing a DJPandMrT
shirt!!!" Yeah I am.
NATE BENNETT: That's Tyler, Tyler from DJP and Mr. T. He's
the T.
BETH HOYT: This is the band we play.
NATE BENNETT: They're in our pre-roll music.
BETH HOYT: Obviously, these are my boobs.
That's the-- yeah, it's our pre-roll music.
NATE BENNETT: These are Beth's boobs, yeah.
Right over--
BETH HOYT: We--
this is the music we play before the show.
NATE BENNETT: That's their band camp.
Check it out.
BETH HOYT: And that's their site and they have all these
awesome t-shirts and so many--
Yeah, and we love them, and Nate just got this from when
he was home on Thanksgiving.
NATE BENNETT: Yeah.
They played a Sandy relief show, and I was like, I gotta
get a shirt for Beth.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, Nate has cool friends, you guys.
And--
NATE BENNETT: They're good people.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, they are good people and I like them.
So check out their site, and that's awesome.
Here's a comment from YouTube.
Stephen McCabe--
"Myk, what competitions do you have coming up in 2013?
You coming out to LA in June???" Myk
is still here, guys.
MYK O'CONNOR: Hey!
BETH HOYT: Hey.
MYK O'CONNOR: I absolutely plan on coming back to LA.
I was there in 2011 for my bachelor week, which ruled,
and I got second place.
I was not able to make it this year, but I do plan on coming
back out because I love the LA club.
Those guys are so awesome and they're very welcoming.
Any competitions--
BETH HOYT: Even Jack?
MYK O'CONNOR: He's not in the club.
He's not in a club.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no--
BETH HOYT: Oh, he's just-- because he can't be in the
club because he has his own--
MYK O'CONNOR: Jack is--
NATE BENNETT: He's his own wolf.
MYK O'CONNOR: He has his own thing promoting his own self.
BETH HOYT: Sorry to bring him up.
JACK PASSION: But-- but, you know, I'm here for the clubs.
BETH HOYT: Awesome.
So when is that?
The date?
MYK O'CONNOR: I have no idea.
Whenever-- they'll announce soon and I'll be there.
BETH HOYT: Sweet.
We have another comment from YouTube.
This is from Vanessa Schneider.
"How's Nate gonna stay warm without the beard?"
NATE BENNETT: I'm going to stand really close to Myk's
and just, yeah--
MYK O'CONNOR: Do you want to do this all the time?
NATE BENNETT: Oh, my god.
Can we just go everywhere like this?
MYK O'CONNOR: This feels so right.
BETH HOYT: Nate, he's married.
NATE BENNETT: But we're just friends.
MYK O'CONNOR: It's OK.
BETH HOYT: He's just keeping him warm.
NATE BENNETT: It smells good.
It smells like cigarettes and beer.
It smells great.
BETH HOYT: Mmm, that's what a beard should smell like.
NATE BENNETT: It smells like weekends.
BETH HOYT: It smells like weekends!
NATE BENNETT: They can go out on weekends, not me.
Mine didn't get long enough to absorb the smell,
unfortunately.
BETH HOYT: That's what you think.
MYK O'CONNOR: Oh.
And she shaved you.
BETH HOYT: Just kidding.
NATE BENNETT: Ah, she did.
BETH HOYT: Oh, Nate, did you-- you should--
I'm going to take a picture--
NATE BENNETT: Oh, right.
We need a 'gram.
BETH HOYT: is so Nate has to update now from--
MYK O'CONNOR: Do I leave?
NATE BENNETT: No, you can be in this.
MYK O'CONNOR: Oh, OK.
BETH HOYT: Is it-- did we make it awkward for you?
MYK O'CONNOR: A little bit.
BETH HOYT: That's how Nate-- that's how Nate
hangs out at parties.
MYK O'CONNOR: I feel like Mitt Romney at the debates, right.
BETH HOYT: Like, do I leave?
MYK O'CONNOR: Like, uh, did I just get my ass kicked?
BETH HOYT: I think I want to run my Obama pic.
NATE BENNETT: You going to do it by--
BETH HOYT: This is my Claire Danes wig.
NATE BENNETT: Do you want-- do you want help?
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
NATE BENNETT: Here.
What do you want me to do?
BETH HOYT: Yeah, you hold it.
NATE BENNETT: Why can't I flip it around?
All right.
MYK O'CONNOR: Oh, you're going to do the [INAUDIBLE].
BETH HOYT: This takes three people to do an Instagram.
MYK O'CONNOR: Do you want to go all the way?
NATE BENNETT: I got it.
I got it.
No, this is even better.
MYK O'CONNOR: Oh.
NATE BENNETT: That's pretty.
NATE BENNETT: Oh, that's great.
There you go.
MYK O'CONNOR: I like that.
BETH HOYT: Oh, it's so good, you guys.
My Instagram is Beth In Show.
If you want to--
MYK O'CONNOR: In case you're wondering.
BETH HOYT: It looks really natural.
All right, that's fun.
MYK O'CONNOR: If you enter with that--
NATE BENNETT: I'll put mine on.
MYK O'CONNOR: --you might get an awesome trophy.
BETH HOYT: But then I have to show up with it, right?
There's got to be some sort of testing to make sure, like a
little tug-tug to make sure it's not a wig.
MYK O'CONNOR: No.
No.
You can do whatever you want.
BETH HOYT: Well, I'm entering with that, then.
Here's my picture.
I got it.
I'm going to enter the contest with this one.
Here's a comment from YouTube.
Kevin Palencia.
"Is there a secret in growing your beards?
I feel like mines didn"
MYK O'CONNOR: He didn't finish.
He didn't finish typing.
What happened?
BETH HOYT: I feel like your problem with your beard is
your lack of commitment in general.
NATE BENNETT: Yeah.
MYK O'CONNOR: That's probably-- that--
I would say that's probably it.
BETH HOYT: I think that if he couldn't finish the comment,
maybe he just shaved too soon.
NATE BENNETT: Finish what you started, buddy.
MYK O'CONNOR: There's no secret.
There's no secret.
You just grow it.
There's no--
BETH HOYT: Well, except for the secret you said earlier
that was, either you have it or you don't.
MYK O'CONNOR: Well, that's not a secret.
That's kind of-- you grow and you're like, Ugh, I look
fucking horrible in a beard.
And then you grow--
you shave a mustache, and then you're like, man, I--
BETH HOYT: And you're like, this is even worse.
MYK O'CONNOR: Magnum, P.I. Who wants to sleep with me?
BETH HOYT: If you can grow a Magnum, P.I. Mustache, you'd
probably look good with a beard, I think.
NATE BENNETT: I don't know.
You might still have a bald spot down here, then, though.
Look, it's still there.
MYK O'CONNOR: I would have never known had you not
pointed that out.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, you can't see it.
NATE BENNETT: It's still there, though.
Like when people grow around that, is that a normal thing
you would do instead, just kind of, like, hide it?
Because, I mean, maybe--
MYK O'CONNOR: You could hide it.
You could hide it.
NATE BENNETT: OK.
MYK O'CONNOR: I would-- you know, there-- have you seen
that great product?
It's a spray thing.
And you could just spray it on there.
NATE BENNETT: Spray it on there?
MYK O'CONNOR: And it looks like spider legs.
BETH HOYT: Wait, wait, wait.
You spray and it-- and the spider legs come out of the
can or whatever?
MYK O'CONNOR: Yeah.
It's--
I don't know what it is.
It-- there's a dude that's bald that is recommending it
on the late-night infomercials, which I've seen
drunk on a Saturday night.
NATE BENNETT: Sure.
MYK O'CONNOR: No big deal.
NATE BENNETT: OK.
MYK O'CONNOR: And you just spray-- you just psssh.
Yeah, I mean, you could put it on your head, obviously, but--
BETH HOYT: But wasn't the bald guy put it-- the bald guy was
like, I'm--
but I want to fix this.
MYK O'CONNOR: Yeah.
Yeah.
He's all like bummed out.
He's like, uh, nobody wants to sleep with me.
And you're like, well, it's because you're bald.
BETH HOYT: That's not going to help.
I don't know.
I think-- wait, so he has--
so it sprays little like--
MYK O'CONNOR: It sprays, like, some sort of thing.
And then-- and then it look-- it like-- later, literally,
they show the scientific graph picture of it and it's like
little spider legs.
NATE BENNETT: It sounds terrifying.
BETH HOYT: If any of you guys have information
about this, I'd like to hear anything else about it.
I'm interested in what's happening with the spider hair
on the face.
Because that'd be a great way for me--
I could've done this episode with a beard today.
MYK O'CONNOR: Yeah, I don't know why you didn't.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, we should've talked to you
earlier about that.
It's like putting a Chia Pet on your face.
Here's another comment from YouTube.
It's from Taylor Weldan.
"MYK- Kama Cewa loves you forever.
Love yes?
Please?" Who is she?
MYK O'CONNOR: OK.
I have to explain this.
This is an inside joke within the beard
community on Facebook--
on Facebook.
I don't if you guys have-- if you can say Facebook on this.
NATE BENNETT: You-- yeah, it's internet.
MYK O'CONNOR: Facebook, YouTube, all that shit.
On Facebook, we always get--
all the bearded guys get either messages or friend
requests also accompanied by a message from Kama Cewa,
whatever her name is.
She's basically--
she's like a-- like this Indian woman, you know, who
looks like middle-aged, like normal, like, Indian woman,
you know, making food.
And she, like, loves us.
Like, she loves all the bearded guys.
I don't know if she's a fake account or if she's real, and
she really wants to be our friends but it's mind blowing.
You--