Hey beardlovers. So today I wanted... ooh... my shoulder itches. Anyway, today I want...
ahh... it still itches. Beard scratch, beard scratch. Shoulder's on fire! Oh god! No, don't
do that! Don't do... - Why did it explode?
- It was a grease fire. - A grease fire? On your shirt?
- I keep bacon underneath my shirt for snacky time.
- Can't you just put it in your pocket? - And mix it with Fruit Gushers? Gross. Other
snack ruined. So beardlovers, I'm doing this thing called
EXPLOSION Wednesday during which I do EXPLOSION-related things every Wednesday. But I'm not sure everyone's
gonna like it so it's not permanent yet. Or set in stone. Concrete. Continual. Perduring.
Diurnal. I've been reading too much thesaurus dot com.
So, without further ado, here's some EXPLOSION news. I can do that more thesaurusy. Hence,
barring supplementary travail, hitherto subsists fusillade promulgations.
McDonald's drops use of gooey ammonia-based 'pink slime' in hamburger meat.
Mmm, hang on a second. My mouth is watering. Mmm.
Oh that's just great. What else are you gonna take away from my childhood that I loved?
Candy cigarettes? Beer? Grand Theft Auto? Not the game. The act of.
Rural Wisconsin was a tough place to grow up.
I don't care if it's an ingredient that's also used in fertilizer or household cleaners
and some roll-your-own EXPLOSIVES. You know what else they all have? The letters
L and S. You gonna ban them too? Well, you're a bunch of ahoe.
You think I'm gonna obey you? Well, you're hit of uck, miter.
I mean, look at it. It's look like delicious strawberry ice cream.
Things that look good are good. Or television has been lying to us all along.
If that were true, then based on my childhood, there's no more hope left for me.
I would say about 95 percent of my decisions follow the question 'What would Balki Barotokmous
do?' He may be a perfect stranger to our country,
but he is no stranger to love! Don't be ridicalus. So I'm pretty sure about seven of you know
what I'm talking about. Again, sorry. Grew up in a rough area. Rampant Balkiholism.
So, speaking of television... 'Downton Abbey' creates tourism BOOM.
I hope they're okay. I have no idea what Downton Abbey is other
than a British TV show, but here's a parody of it.
- 'Ello, Abby! How are you feeling today? - Oh I'm feeling a bit down.....ton.
- Oh goodness. Perhaps a splotch of tea will make you feel up...ton.
- Oh quite right. - Quite right.
- Quite right. - Quite right.
- Oh quite right. - Quite right.
- Quite right. - A logical state of rightness.
- Very valid. Very appropriate. - Quite right. I'm British.
- I'm British as well. - I'm British as well.
- From the Queen's country? - Absolutely. Oh yes.
- Quite right. - Oh quite right. Yes.
- Quite right. - Quite right.
- Oh quite right. So I found this British clone in my apartment.
He helped me with the parody. Thanks a lot, man.
- No bother. - Okay. Now get to the alligator pit.
- No! - Is that, like, British slang for yes?
- No. - Okay, good. Go on. Another clone killed
today. I need to learn to speak British.
