SDYC Roast 2011

Uploaded by CAMorton88 on 11.12.2011

Jeff: Yo ho sailor, where are you going?
Eric: I need to travel in this unsteady dingy to my big safe boat.
Jeff: No you should not; you are drunk and unsteady.
Eric: How do you know? Are you a doctor?
Jeff: No, I run races and know what drunk sailors look like.
Eric: Do not worry. My unsteady and barely seaworthy dingy has an electric motor that
works on occasion.
Jeff: But do you have a battery?
Eric: I do not know.
Jeff: Do you realize it is dark and you might drown?
Eric: That is impossible. I am drunk and therefore unaffected by risk and danger.
Jeff: Can you swim?
Eric: Right now I can possibly walk on water. I hail from Nordic Viking like people. Haven’t
you ever heard of Eric the Great?
Eric: Holy crap! My dingy has inverted and I am in the water.
Jeff: You have made your dingy turn upside down and it appears that electric motors and
batteries do not float.
Eric: Yes. You are correct. The water is very cold and my man parts appear to have disappeared.
Jeff: Oh. I see. That is very sad. Hey, would you like to hear a joke?
Eric: No. I would rather you help me back on to the dock before I die.
Jeff: Just one joke. It is very funny and fits the occasion nicely. Do you know what
kind of wood does not float?
Eric: I think I am losing consciousness.
Jeff: Natalie Wood. Do you get it? Natalie Wood.
Eric: Can you please take me in your big stable inflatable rib boat home to my yacht?
Jeff: Yes but what about your capsized dingy?
Eric: I do not care. I am shaking worse than Katharine Hepburns head in a helicopter. I
will feel guilty in the morning when I am sober.