Mega Man Legends 2 Abridged: 01 - Plotstorm

Uploaded by TauVertex on 29.12.2010

[Narrator speaking]
there is a legend of two goddesses, who rule the earth and sky.
One representing light, the other darkness.
Two opposing forces--
[New Narr.] -Stop right there, you fiendish cur!
-{emotionless} What.
-Stop right there, prattler of words! -What are you doing here?
I was trying to build some dramatic tension here,
you know, with the book and the music and the dramatic lighting... -Ha ha ha...
Yeah, that's nice. We're throwing you out.
I'll be taking it from here.
[Captioned by Chiz]
[New Narr.] -Hello and Welcome to the world of Terra!
A world of airships, underground ruins and...water, apparently.
It has been one year since the events of Kattelox Island,
and we find our heroes aboard the USS Sulphur-Bottom,
as its 27 machine guns, 32 missile launchers, and carbon footprint the size of North America,
embark on the mission of peaceful exploration.
We join Rock Volnutt and Roll Caskett who are...
uh...uh, apparently, not in this scene!
Well, this is embarassing. Who wrote this?
[Old Narr.] -Uhhh, I did? [New Narr.] -Why are you still here?
[Von Bluecher] -There you are. My men have been searching the entire ship for you.
[Barrell] -Huh. My apologies. -They even checked the women's restrooms.
[Women Screaming, Gunfire] [Guard] -WHICH ONE OF YOU IS PROF. CASKETT?!
-Nearly caused a panic.
You can't keep wandering off like this,
especially with your, ahem...
...'destructive' tendencies.
Now I know you're in rehab, but... -Now look,
I haven't set a single thing on fire for two weeks!
I have it under control. -YOU SAID THE SAME THING 15 DAYS AGO!
That was my favourite desk...
[B] -Why in the blazes did you ever think this plan was a good idea?
[VB] -Where's your spirit of adventure, Barrell? [B] -It's called Forbidden Island!
-Hmfph! -It's a frozen wasteland,
surrounded by an impassable storm that swallows ships whole!
-Oh please, how bad can it be?
-We made the journey once, we can do it again.
-We crashed, nearly froze to death,
and then my face got ripped off by- -I was there, Barrell.
-Oh yeah. In short, it was stupid.
And then my crazy daughter and her maniac husband got the bright idea
of leaving their kid and going themselves!
What kind of parent does that? -Their loss was indeed tragic.
However, returning to the island has been my life's work.
I'm not afraid of a bit of wind.
-Hey guys, I heard you guys were doing a sequel,
so I just came to ask you-
Ohhh my gosh! [Crunching noises] -OM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM-
-Well, it's almost time for the press conference.
-Wait, press conference? I never agreed to that-
-Just try to stay out of trouble until then. See you later.
[New N.] -Later... [Old N.] -Get out of my scene!
[Guard 1] -See any terrorists?! [Guard 2] -No sir! [Guard 1] -Keep looking!
[Guard] -Sir, we have a problem. The reporters ate all of the food!
All of it! The big guy even ate the tables!
It's all gone, sir!
-Well tell the caterer to get more of those little cakes or something.
-No one's seen her! I think they ate her, too!
[Reporter] -We're here live onboard the USS Sulphur-Bottom,
at what might be THE largest gathering
of cardboard cutouts since the final scene of Star Wars Episode IV!
Oh, and there's going to be a speech or something.
Ain't that dandy?
-Looks like everyone's here. -What's with all the cardboard?
-I like having an audience.
-You couldn't get any real reporters to come, could you? -Of course I did!
See those fine gentlemen in the back?
-Teisel, while I must commend you for this wonderful plan
of disguising ourselves as reporters,
this has been... terribly boring.
-I don't exactly remember inviting you, Glyde.
In fact, how did you even find out about this?
-Oh come now, Teisel, don't have such a bad attitude.
You act as if you don't want me here.
-Oh really now? I wonder why that might be.
It MIGHT have something to do with you locking me and Bon
in a jail cell while extorting millions of Zenny out of Tron.
-Yeah! Jerk.
-That, uh...never happened. -Yes, Glyde, it did.
-But, uh, don't you remember all the good times we had when we were kids?
There was that one time when we played shuffleboard...
[Teis.] -That never happened. -Yes it did.
You always were such a sore loser.
[Klaymoor] -Will you two just shut up?!
Yer arguin' like an old married couple!
-Last I checked I was younger than you, gnnnhhh...
Wait, what do you mean by that?
-Use your imagination. -Quiet, the old guy's talking.
[Throat clears]
[More Throat Clearing]
[Even More Throat Clearing]
[Yet More Throat Clearing] [Klay.] -GET ON WITH IT!
[VB] -Okay, fine.
Ladies and gentlemen of the press,
it is my pleasure to welcome you aboard the
USS Sulphur-Bottom!
[Teisel chuckles] [Tron] -Grow up, Teisel.
-My name is Werner Von Bluecher! [Thunder and horse whine]
Just ignore that.
As you undoubtedly know,
(because if you don't, you're dumb)
no one has ever set foot upon the island and lived to tell the tale...
No one...except ME!
Oh, and Prof. Barrell too. -Ah, very impressive memory!
-30 years ago, when we were young, spritely, handsome young men,
(or at least, I was)
we made the journey. You may be wondering,
Mr. Von Bleucher, what did you see there?
What amazing sights did you see? [Klay.] -Yeah, maybe!
-I could tell you, but what would be the fun in that? [Klay.] -You jerk!
-Security. [Numerous guns cock] [Klay.] -Oh, you want to play rough?!
[Heavy arms fire, some screams of pain]
-but luckily for you,
you're going to have the opportunity to see the island for yourselves,
[♫ Ominous organ music ♫] as I, Werner Von Bluecher,
fly my airship straight into the storm!
[KM] -Wait, WHAT?! [New Narr.] -Meanwhile, somewhere else...
[Tron] -You can't be serious,
you're honestly saying that Threshold should be canon?!
[M] -The character development of Capt. Janeway and
Tom Paris is too crucial to simply be discarded!
-They broke the laws of physics, turned into slugs, and had babies!
-It's better than First Contact!
{deep voice} I mean, come on, the Borg assimilating Capt. Picard?
{higher voice} Completely unnecessary!
[♫ Music box plays ♫]
[M] -Rise and shine, Roll!
Waking up with the sun and a healthy breakfast of sunny-side-up eggs!
Are you planning on sleeping all day?
[R] -Why don't you go find a big pit to jump into?
Maybe you'll find a refractor or something.
-Heh, yeah, I'm not going to fall for that the 16th time, either.
-Hey look, gramps is on TV!
-He got arrested AGAIN?
-Nah, it's that press conference with the Werner Von Blusher guy. that's where he's been the last few days.
These eggs are terrible.
-You haven't even tried them!
-That is the end of my amazing presentation!
And now it's...karaoke time!
With me, Werner Von Bleucher! [Klay.] -You've got to be kidding me!
[♫ Cheap karaoke music ♫] [Matilda] -Um, excuse me?
Mr. Bleucher? -Ahem...VON Bleucher.
Oh, why, hello there, beautiful. I didn't see you there.
Would you like me to sing you a song? [Barr.] -Somebody turn that thing off!
-I have to ask,
Why would you ever wish to return to Forbidden Island?
-You mean you don't know?! [Barr.] -I guess we never really explained it.
-There are tales of a treasure of near infinite value,
known the 'Mother Load'. I have reason to believe
it's hidden somewhere on this island.
-And how did you come to that conclusion?
-Why, that is simple, my little cupcake.
I've looked everywhere else!
-I'm curious...what exactly do you believe this treasure to be?
-Up until a few minutes ago, I would've said the most beautiful thing in the world.
[Barr.] -I said to turn that off! [Klay.] -You're alright, old guy!
-One more question. Are these windows... bulletproof?
-Why of course! These windows are made of the finest materials known to-
[Guards] -Terrorist! Fire Fire Fire! Diiiie! Hey no fair, hax!
-See if you can get a refund on those.
-Well, this is fun... EH?! Matilda?!
My long lost daughter?
My long lost daughter who was lost on the island and left me with her daughter,
like a jerk?!
[Tron] -Wow, what a jerk! [Teisel] -Aha, I smell a complicated plot brewing, Tron!
[G] -Move over, I want to see her blow up another window. [T] -HEY HEY HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING THAT DIVINE INTERVENTION ISN'T GOING TO WORK TWICE!
-Go ahead, land on Forbidden Island if you want.
That is, if you don't mind setting loose an
ancient power capable of destroying the entire world!
You know...if you're okay with that sort of thing.
By the way, if you happen to see a guy named Megaman Trigger,
let me know. Okay, thank you. Buh-bye now.
[B] -My presumed to be dead daughter
flying on the back of a giant dragon reaverbot.
Huh. That's something you don't see everyday.
Wait a were flirting with my daughter!
[VB] -Heheheheh...oops.
-Rock...Captain Picard wasn't assimilated in First Contact!
It was in The Best Of Both Worlds! How could you have gotten that wrong?
-What...? -And that woman, she was my mother!
-Huh? That's your MOM? Wow...
-But why should she do something as reckless as this?
-I guess it runs in the family. [Loud Punch] Ow!
[VB] ♫ -You're the one that makes me feel so high, ♫
♫ Just like the diamonds in the sky. I never want to hear you say goodbye... ♫
-That's her! That's the woman that stuffed me in that locker!
I'm too late, aren't I?