Mega Man Legends Abridged: 08 - The Filler Episode

This is KTOX reporting live,
from downtown. [Off.1] -You can't go in there!
We'll shoot! [Rep.]
[M] -I just want to see what's inside! [Rep.] --three mysterious black doorways--
[Off.2] -He's crazy! [Off.1] -Take him down! [Gunfire] [Rep.] --three mysterious black doorways--
[M] -Wait, don't shoot at me! [Rep.] --emerged from the ground--
[Off.1] -Ah, my car! [Rep.] --in various locations around--
[Off.1] -He blew up my car! [Rep.] --the island.
[Off.1] -It was my best friend! [Off.2] -I thought I was your best friend.
[Off.1] -Oh. [Rep.] -The purpose of these scary--
[Off.1] -Hey look, he's getting away! [Rep.] --looking structures is currently unknown--
--but we will keep you updated,
as new information becomes available.
[Mr. Junk Store Owner] -Hey, Ms. Reporter!
-I already told you, I'm not interested!
[Mr.JSO] -But... I love you!
[Mrs.JSO] -What are you doing you two-timing jerk!
[Mr.JSO] -No...no wait honey, I can explain!
[Crash] [Screams] [Police Siren]
[Rep.] -I'm aliiiiiive!
[♫ Abridged theme ♫]
{Captioned by Chiz} [Narr.] -Yeah, whatever, no one cares.
-This. Is. Awesome.
A hidden underground city!
The...wait a second...
I'm underground.
Yeah, this makes perfect sense.
Alright, got the first key.
On to the next one.
This. Is. Awesome...
Hang on.
This looks exactly like the other one.
How many of these do I have to do?
[R] -Do you really have to ask?
-Oh yeah, right.
So this is basically... -Filler.
Padding. Triforce pieces.
Whatever you want to call it.
-Do we get a beach episode?
-Sorry. -Well forget this, then.
I'm gonna have some fun!
-But...the Main Gate... -It's not going anywhere.
Now let's see, what's there to do around here?
Hey, a museum!
[Narr.] -And now it's time for...
-This is absolutely terrible.
Look at the size of those eyes!
And that pointy chin?
This will never catch on.
I'm pretty sure that says 'Katoru Ox'.
Typical art major. Ha ha!
It looks like an ancient Egyptian sprite comic.
Is he fighting a bounce house?
-Actually the junk shop guy painted that a few hours ago
while drowning his sorrows at the bar.
Mumbling something about 'Prophecy'
and 'Beware the colour purple'
-There's a bar here?!
The composition on this one seems-- hey, melons!
What's this suppose to be?
The god of the ancient Kentuckians?
Now THAT...has to be the worst painting I've seen in my life.
You'd have to know absolutely nothing about art
to produce something so horrible.
-I know, right?
And the artist was the curator of this museum, even.
-Yeah, I...hey, wait.
Aren't you the curator? -Yeah.
Hey, don't insult my painting.
-Oh well, um...
uh...the, uh...the brush strokes are interesting, I guess.
-Thanks. I used my tongue.
-What? -Hey, what do you got there?
-Where? -There, in your hammerspace.
-It's just random stuff I found underground.
-Can I please have it?
-Can I PLEEEEASE have it?
-Umm, sure, I don't see why not.
-Great! Now I can charge people money to see piles of junk.
-Oh, like your painting?
-Hey, did you pay to get in here?
-No, I just walked in.
-Get out of here you freeloader.
Oh you're one to talk.
Charging people to see all this terrible art.
-Out! -And what happened to your voice?
-OUT!
-We're back with an update on the developing situation.
Reports indicate the mysterious structures are in fact,
gateways to ancient underground reaverbot cities
just below the surface.
Whether or not these are a threat in any way has yet to be determined.
However, due to the many archeological
studies that have been conducted on this island,
one can't help but wonder why something this massive
was not discovered sooner.
We asked the island's resident archeology expert to comment.
-Um...
...Oops?
-The ramifications of this situation
are still unknown.
But city officials have assured us
that we're all going to-
-DIIIIIIIE!!!
[sob] EVERYONE'S GONNA DIIIIIE!
[M] -Whoa, whoa, just calm down.
-CALM DOWN?!
Every man, woman and child is going to perish in a
cataclysm of FIRE!
Forget the chicken and the egg,
It's gonna be the drumstick and the omelet!
The pale horse is crossing the finish line!
WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIII--
--IIIIIIIIIIIIII-- [M] -Don't you think you're
--IIIIIIIIIIIIIE!! [M] -overreacting just a little bit?
-Except WE have a survival strategy!
Listen, you seem like an OK guy
so we'll let you in on our plan.
My gang and I are building a bunker outside the city,
but we need some help. -Oh, well,
what do you need?
Building supplies?
-We need you to find...
...a cockroach.
-A...cockroach.
-Oh and while you're at that, see if you can find some dirty magazines.
We need to stockpile them while we can,
while there are still women around. Hehe.
-Uhhh...
OK.
[Jim] -Welcome to our sanctuary,
stocked with enough anime and video games to last a lifetime!
-Don't you need, like...food and stuff?
-We're bringing in a minifridge this afternoon.
-Ah. Here, I found a cockroach.
Don't ask where I got it.
-Wow...A perfect specimen!
Bensley! Prepare the lab!
If I don't have mandibles by tomorrow morning,
I'm docking your licorice rations!
And uh...did you get any magazines?
-Well, I found this one.
-Heh heh heh, this looks great.
Better Homes and Gardens
That shrubbery is so HOT!
W-w-wait.
This isn't what I wanted at all!
-Oh, uh...not enough dirt?
It looked like it had been lying there for a few weeks
so I figured it would be--
-Clearly you are not worthy to help us repopulate the planet.
You will die with the rest of them!
-Repopulation.
The less I think about that, the better.
[R] -I'm bored. How about we check out the subcities...?
-Hey look! A TV studio!
[Anchor] -Actually I do have legs.
It's a common misconception.
-Hey! You! Come over here.
You look like someone with no moral or logical inhibition!
How would you like to be on TV?!
[R] -Wow, he's good.
-How do I look like I have a-
-Welcome to KTOX, kid.
The most technologically advanced media station around!
-It looks a bit dated to me.
-We're also the ONLY media station around.
Well, for television, anyway.
-What else is there?
[Jim] -RUN YOU FOOLS!
RUUUNNNNNNNN---
-Ah.
-Yeah. And don't mind those;
We just hooked up some Atari 2600s to make this place all professional-like.
-Great job.
-So anyway, welcome to the world of show-biz, kid!
Around here, there's one rule that you need to remember.
Everything we do here, we do for the great goldfish.
♫ Goldfiiiiish ♫
You see, the goldfish, it represents our viewers.
They're big, ugly, not too bright,
and stare at you all day with the same stupid expression on their faces.
And when they die,
you have to flush 'em down the toilet.
That's why we don't have a cemetery on this island.
-...what.
-But dead fish, they're bad for business!
To keep the fishes alive,
you must feeeeed them!
And feed them we do!
We feed them cruddy little flake things that taste absolutely awful.
But why bother buying the gourmet brand,
when they eat it up anyway?!
So that's the KTOX philosophy, kid.
Goldfish. ♫ Goldfiiiiish ♫
Ready to be on TV?
[Anchor] -Welcome to...
The 2nd-most aptly named show on the air!
Welcome to...
Alright, this next game is going to be a thrilling high-speed race
through the city streets!
And the vehicle is going to be...
Rocket Giraffe!
Huh? oh...I mean, Jet Roller-skates!
But due to budget constraints,
we couldn't afford any opponents for you except...
Traffic Cones.
Apparently.
Ready-set-go. [M] -Huh!?
-And he's off,
a bit of a slow start but he's gaining ground quickly,
He's going so fast, I only wonder how the giraffes would've fared.
Coming around the curve. Bit wide, but he's OK.
He's in second! First!
He's won! You managed to defeat every single traffic cone!
You're amazing! Absolutely incredible!
Congratulations Mr. Platypus!
-I'm just not going to argue.
-You'll be going home with a grand prize of
Fifty! Million!
Zen-- -Oooh, so sorry kid.
I just got word that our show has been cancelled.
We ran into some trouble with the Traffic Cone Workers Union.
Oh, but you can keep the skates.
[♫]
Back Flip · Police Station Gap! · Sole Grind 8005 x 3
Back Flip · Police Station Gap! · Sole Grind 8200 x 3
Back Flip · Police Station Gap! · Sole Grind 8395 x 3
Back Flip · Police Station Gap! · Sole Grind 8590 x 3
Back Flip · Police Station Gap! · Sole Grind 8785 x 3
Back Flip · Police Station Gap! · Sole Grind 8980 x 3
Back Flip · Police Station Gap! · Sole Grind 9175 x 3
Back Flip · Police Station Gap! · Sole Grind 9370 x 3
Back Flip · Police Station Gap! · Sole Grind · Misty Flip 11395 x 4
[Splash]
-Welcome back, Mr. Hippopotamus!
-You finally got it right!
Now never forget it!
...wait...
-Hi. My name is Ira.
What's your name?
-Why hello there. My name is Hippopo- I mean, Megaman.
-He he, Megaman?
That's so cute.
I like it.
My legs don't work, so the doctors say I need an operation.
When I can walk,
I'm gonna go all over the place!
I'm gonna travel the world,
and take long walks on the beach,
go on bike rides in the mountains,
wrestle polar bears,
and win an Olympic gold medal for the 100-yard dash!
-Well, that's...great.
-But the doctor says I can't have the operation
until the hospital can buy new machines.
And with the city spending its money on rebuilding
it looks like I'm out of luck.
-We can't thank you enough.
Because of your generous donation,
we were able to perform Ira's operation!
-So she's OK now.
-Please come visit me again!
Please come visit me again!
Please come visit me again! -I thought the operation was on her legs!
-Please come visit me again! -What happened to her BRAIN?
-Please come visit me again! -What are you talking about? She's fine!
-Please come visit me again! -Oh look, Mr. Flower
-Please come visit me again! -came to visit us! Hello Mr. Flower!
-Please come visit me again! -Hello Mr. Flower!
-♫ Please come visit me again! ♫ -♫ Hello Mr. Flower! ♫
-♫ Please come visit me again! ♫ -♫ Hello Mr. Flower! ♫
-♫ Please come visit me again! ♫ -♫ Hello Mr. Flower! ♫
-♫ Please come vis- ♫ -♫ Hello Mr. Flow- ♫
-OK, I guess I better get back to this.
Wait a minute. Where'd the reaverbots go?
[Rvr.] -TRUCK ATTACK! -Waaaaaugh!
[Jim] -Flee! Head for the hills!
Your children and DVD collections
will only slow you down!
-Hmfph�