Who Is Jerry Coogan?


Uploaded by LOUD on 14.01.2013

Transcript:
[INTRO MUSIC]
JERRY COOGAN: You two done sucking each other dicks?
I got a car lot to run here, all right?
If I had a Sophie's Choice between Dell and you
dip-shits, I'd turn you over to the Nazis in a heartbeat.
JERRY COOGAN: Fuck you!

DELL: We're close.
Fucking thumbs up.
Fucking love you.
We're close enough that, if I got rid of this motherfucker,
they wouldn't suspect me as being the guy
that got rid of him.
VIP: Jerry is the fucking best man.
I mean, he's a fucking asshole.
DELL: I'd be like, what the fuck happened to Jerry?
And I'll help look for the motherfucker.
Then they'll figure out that I'm the one who-- it happens
all the time on TV.
You ever see that shit?
VIP: Same with all my bros back home, you know?
You would give your life for them, but you also want to
punch them in the face every day.
DELL: Where are you?
[PRETEND CRYING]
And you killed her ass, and rolled her ass up in a god
damned carpet.

JERRY COOGAN: I'm not so much of a salesman as
much as I am a manager.
I like it.
DELL: I like that shit too.
JERRY COOGAN: I like it a lot.
DELL: I like that shit a lot too.
RANDY: He's taught me so much about talking to people.
JERRY COOGAN: You can go fuck your mother every Sunday for
all I give a shit.
RANDY: And he always tells me to compliment them on their
chestial region.
JERRY COOGAN: And those giant fucking tits!
[LAUGHTER]
Say it!
Say it Randy!
BECKY: Jerry, in some ways, is a father figure.
You know, if you had a dad who constantly
commented on your ass.
JERRY COOGAN: Thinking about those legs.
That ass and those ta-tas.
RANDY: It's not working really well for me
outside of the business.
I'm getting hit a lot.
TONY: I don't know if it's sleazy.
It's salesmanship.

-What's the craziest thing you and Jerry
have done after hours?
DELL: Man, the craziest shit after work?
JERRY COOGAN: We robbed a bank once.
DELL: So we used their car, then left
here for the week-end.
And they took our loaner car.
And they rode around seeing if they liked the car.
But while they're liking our car, we're liking their car.
And we rode around and robbed a bank and shit with
masks on and shit.
We brung it back here.
Parked it right here like nothing happened.
JERRY COOGAN: We killed a guy.
Buried him in the desert.
[WHISPERING]
Shh.
DELL: Lo and behold, they came back there on Monday to get
their car and got fucking arrested for
robbing a fucking bank.
JERRY COOGAN: You can cut that out later, right?
DELL: Ain't that a bitch?
[LAUGHTER]
JERRY COOGAN: Throw anything out there, and I probably can
assure you that Dell and I have done it.
DELL: Which is deep.
Think about that.
That's deep.
You got to go deep sometimes and think about how deep that
shit really-- think about that while
you're asking us questions.
-Do you like to gamble?
JERRY COOGAN: I do like to gamble.
But I like to fuck more.
[THEME MUSIC]
JERRY COOGAN: Could you pick up that little vibe I threw
your way just now?
-No soft-core bullshit.
Real cha, cha, cha, chak.
[MUSIC]
-What's the joke with the Smirnoff Ice's?
They're delicious.
Sometimes me and my bros, my homies, pound a few cold ones.
You ever been iced?
They're fun and delicious.
Boom!