Downton Abbey - Laura Linney replaces Janie Haddad Tompkins

Uploaded by janiehaddad on 03.04.2012

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\f0\fs24 \cf0 \expnd0\expndtw0\kerning0 Downton Abbey introduction spoof transcript:\
\ Masterpiece Theatre: Classic\
>>Joel: Make it your own. Action!\ >>Janie: [horrible British Dialect] I\'92m
>>Janie Haddad Tompkins and this is Masterpiece Classic.\
>>Joel: Cut. So, you\'92re doing an accent.\ TITLE: Before Laura Linney...there was >>Janie
Haddad Tompkins\ >>Janie: Right, it\'92s BBC\
>>Joel: Right.\ >>Janie: It\'92s British\
>>Janie: [horrible British dialect] Ello, I\'92m >>Janie Haddad Tompkins\
>>Joel: Cut! How do you not know you\'92re doing that?\
>>Janie: I\'92m >>Janie Haddad Tompkins ]spits tea]\
>>Joel: That\'92s tea\ >>Janie: Oh, this is tea?\
>>Janie: Let\'92s get ready to ruuuumble!\uc0\u8232 >>Joel: Cut.\
>>Janie: Why?\ >>Joel: Obvious reasons.\
>>Janie: And this is Masterpiece Classic, previously on Downton Abbey ]holds up doll]\
>>Joel: Cut! Why do you have a doll?\ >>Janie: It\'92s just my friend.\
>>Janie: Ok, I was hired for this job because of what I bring to the table.\
>>Joel. And your \'91thing\'92 that you\'92ve brought to the table is a psycho looking doll
in a wedding dress.\ >>Janie: I went to drama school, ok?\
>>Joel: Where? In a pit?\ >>Joel: Will you do another take?\
>>Janie: Fine, will you adjust your attitude?\ >>Janie: I\'92m >>Janie Haddad Tompkins, and
this is Masterpiece classic ]does air quotes]\ >>Joel: There. Boom. There, you did it?\
>>Janie: What?\ >>Janie: Fine, I\'92ll do another take, I\'92ll
do another take. I\'92ll do another take.\ >>Joel: Thank you. \
>>Janie:Action.\ >>Joel: Action. I\'92M saying that!\
>>Janie: Alright, fine.\ >>Janie: [snorts] I\'92m >>Janie Haddad Tompkins,
and this is Masterpiece Classic.\ >>Joel: CUT!\
>>Janie: What?!\ >>Joel: What did you just snort?\
>>Janie: It was a vitamin.\ >>Joel: What vitamin?\
>>Janie: Vitamin [thinks] B. Vitamin B. \ >>Joel: That was cocaine. No. Nope. Vitamin
C.\ >>Janie: Do you want me to introduce it or
not. This is what I was hired to do. \ >>Joel: I do want you to introduce it. \
>>Janie: This is what I was hired to do. \ >>Joel: Just ...please.\
>>Janie: I\'92m Jane Haddad Tompkins ]eating chips]\
>>Joel: Eat before the take!\uc0\u8232 >>Janie: and this is Masterpiece Classic.\
>>Joel: Are you done with the chip?\ >>Janie: [nods]\
>>Joel:Alright...and...CUT. How did you get those?\
>>Janie: [spits out chips] Previously on Downton Abbey\
>>Janie: And this is, a Classic Piece of Master.\ >>Joel: Yep. Got it. Alright Cut. You\'92re
fired.\ >>Janie: What! I\'92m not fired, I have a
contract!\ >>Joel: You\'92re wrapped, thank you for coming,
we\'92ll piece it all together ]pushes >>Janie: I\'92m sure we\'92ve got plenty of...\
>>Janie: No! But I love Mr. Banes!\ >>Joel: That\'92s not his name! Let\'92s call
security, and, uh, I\'92ll call Laura Linney. There\'92s chips all over the ground. \
>>Janie: [pops up] Previously on Downton Abbey\ >>Joel: No, out! OUt now, get the fuck out
of here!\ \
Written and Directed by: Janie Haddad Tompkins\ Joel Spence as the director\
director of photography Eli Goldstein\ editor David Avallone\
special thanks: Paul F. Tompkins, Fiona Landers, Aaron Ginsburg, Krista Carpenter, Samantha
McIntyre, Maria Thayer, Eddie Pepitone, Karen Simmons, Frank Conniff, Guy Nicolucci, Gino
Guzzardo\ }