Mega Man Legends Abridged: 09 - Deus Ex Machina (Pt. 1)


Uploaded by TauVertex on 03.07.2010

Transcript:
[Narr.] -Previously on Megaman Legends Abridged...
Also,
in the last episode,
our intrepid hero confronted the island's underground subcities,
and returned victorious with the Larry, Curly, and Moe Central Gate keys
-Just go on past. See if I care.
[Narr.]-And so begins the final chapter of his epic adventure,
wherein he will discover the true secret of...
...the Main Gate.
Finally.
[Snoring]
-Aughhhhh!
[♫ abridged Abridged theme ♫]
{Captioned by Chiz}
[Narr.] One long walk later...
[M] -Let's try that again.
-Wait, before you go, I've got something for you.
Using toothpicks, a stick of gum, and some other random junk,
I was able to make my most powerful weapon yet. I call it...
...the Shining Laser. [Choir] ♫ -Ahhhh... ♫
-It should come in handy, but be careful,
I didn't have time to test it, so it might be a bit unstable.
-You're having me attach an untested, high-powered laser to my arm.
Are you sure that's a good idea?
[Narr.] -Shortly thereafter...
[Curly] -This must be the basement!
[Moe] -I wonder where we are.
[Larry] -Maybe we're in the subway.
[M] -Can you three be quiet?
[Curly] -I didn't say anything!
[M] -OK, now I just need to-
[Curly] -There should be a door here!
[M] -Oh really? Listen, if you three don't knock it off, I'm gonna--
[Larry] -Wait a minute, you want to kill him?
[Curly] -Why don't you mind your own business?
[M] -Why am I having this conversation?
[Curly] -Oh, he's got stones in his head!
[M] -Door number one.
[Larry] -Hey, how about some breakfast?
[M] -Door number two.
[Curly] Hey, hey!
[M] -Door number three.
[Moe] -Yeah, how about some breakfast?
[♫ Dramatic choir music ♫]
-Another door...
Man, these people were paranoid about security.
Wait...paranoid...
What if...
What if this door was never meant to be opened?
I could be on the verge of the discovery of a lifetime,
or I could be about to unleash something terrible.
Do I open it,
or do I go back through that door and forget I ever laid eyes on it?
Countless lives could depend on this decision!
Oh, OK then.
Open it is.
It's...
a giant killer reaverbot!
It's...
a fire-breathing dragon!
It's...
[Little girl voice] -Good morning!
-What
the heck is that?
-Was it you that woke me up?
My alarm wasn't set to go off for another decade or so!
Oh well, no matter.
Once I have my coffee I'll be wide awake!
Hey, I remember you!
You're Megaman Trigger!
I didn't recognize you at first.
-Megaman...who?
You must have me confused with someone else...
...named...Megaman.
-Nope, I'm sure of it.
You're Megaman Trigger,
Purifier Unit, First Class.
-I know I would remember you,
and you're saying that my highly uncommon name
just so happens to be the same name as--
-And my name is Megaman Juno!
-Now you're just messing with me, aren't you?
-It makes a lot more sense in the Japanese version.
-I doubt that.
-Well, if it bothers you,
I can call you Hippopotamus,
just like old times, right?
{-No. This can't be real.}
{None of this is real!}
{I'm just gonna close my eyes,}
{and when I open them, I'll be lying on my bed,}
{and all this will just fade away.}
Why are you still here?!
-I'm sure it'll come back to you.
So, as I was saying,
my name is Megaman Juno,
Bureaucratic Model Unit 3rd class and system administrator of Kattelox Island.
But you can call me Juno.
I assume you're here to purge the carbons of this island?
-Uh, no...actually, I'm not really sure why I'm here.
Something about a treasure or a great disaster or something...?
I gave up on following the plot when there were stars underground.
-Oh you must mean our customizable sky simulation!
It's so much fun to play with!
-So, it's not some sort of interdimensional portal system.
-That's just silly, Hippo.
-Don't call me that!
-So you're not here to purge the carbons.
How inconvenient.
According to regulations, all carbons must be purged periodically
to prevent global warming and the melting of the polar icecaps.
-Well it's a bit late for that.
World covered by endless water, you know?
-And worst of all, if the island gets too many people,
it could tip over and capsize into the sea!
Then I'd have to walk on the ceiling all the time.
-That's...
...stupid.
Wait, 'carbons'?
You mean the people of the island?
-That's right!
-Huh.
While your concern for the environment is admirable,
I find your methods
as disturbing as your purple hair and girly voice!
[♫ Dramatic music ♫] I won't let you do this!
-Tee hee, you're funny.
-Ah crud.
AHH!
-Now if you'll excuse me, I have a population to wipe out.
Don't go anywhere!
[♫ Homestar Runner 'Dangeresque Theme' plays ♫]
-I know you like this kid, Tron,
but don't you think stalking him like this is going a little bit far?
-No, why do you ask?
-No reason.
-Look, it's Megaman.
-AHHHHHHHHH...
-I can't let someone else torture him!
We've got to do something!
-Hmmm.
-AHHHHHHHHH...
-Hey! Stop shouting, will ya?
I'm trying to decide if I should help you or not.
-Oh for Keiji's sake.
I need to save my love interest!
[Tsl.] -Did you just destroy an advanced piece of ancient technology
by kicking it? -I guess I did.
-Awesome.
-Thanks...
...I need to stop...
...creepy purple-haired guy...
...from killing everyone...
-Creepy purple-haired guy?
Whoa, that's sounds pretty serious.
You'd better go do something about that.
We'll just stay here and hold the fort, okay?
-You...could come and help me.
-Trust me, with our win/loss record, we'd just get in your way.
Besides, do you really want to deal with that guy and Tron at the same time?
[Tron] -Hey! [M] -A very good point.
Well, time to go save the island.
-It's not over between you and me,
you...dumb...moron.
If you go and do something stupid like...dying...
I don't know what I'll do, but I'll make you wish you'd never been born!
-Hey, don't worry about me. I'll be alright!
After all, this game is rated 'E', isn't it?
-Not anymore...
-Wait, what?
-...sorry...
-Oh, well...lovely.
-Hey, if anyone can beat that guy, it's you.
Go kick his butt, Megaman.
-Right. Wish me luck.
-Don't worry Tron.
Green power always triumphs over purple.
-He's blue. -Hmmm...
[♫ Rock music plays ♫]
[♫ Bach's Little Fugue in G Minor plays ♫]
-Hmmm...
...I wonder what I should have for lunch today...
-Hey! Juno!
-Huh? Oh, you're back!
How was the electroshock therapy?
-Sorry, Juno, but I can't let you go through with your plan.
I refuse to stand by and let you kill everyone on this island,
and...what's this music?
-It's Bach's Little Fugue in G minor.
I find ominous organ music
to be quite soothing when I'm committing genocide!
Anyway, I'm afraid you're too late.
EDEN's already been activated and will be descending upon the island momentarily.
-Eden? What's Eden?
-The most technologically advanced orbital annihilation station around!
[M] -Very cute.
So you're telling me that that thing has been up in space
wiping out civilizations for countless years and no one's ever noticed?
[J] -Oh ho, you think this is contrived?
Just wait until the sequel!
[whispering] We have entire planetoids up there no one's ever noticed!
[M] -Do people just never look up?
[J] -Apparently not.
[Random Person 1] -Whoa! Check out that big blue thing up there!
[Rand.2] -Hey, the city's back! How did that happen?
[Rand.3] -This is a cutscene. It doesn't count.
[Rand.1] -Whoa! Check out the flying log! I wonder why it has an eye...
[Jim] -I knew it! I KNEW IT�