From Prisoner to President - Jeanette Towne - Host, Dr. Freda Crews

>> COMING UP ON TIME FOR HOPE:
>>I BELIEVED THE LIE SO 19 YEARS OLD I WAS A NURSING COLLEGE
STUDENTS AND I REALLY MET THIS MAN OF MY DREAMS AND BELIEVED
THE MANIPULATION LIES THAT I WAS FED
>> JOIN DR. FREDA CREWS, LICENSED PROFESSIONAL COUNSELOR
AND HER GUESTS, AS THEY PROVIDE HELP FOR REAL LIFE PROBLEMS ON
TIME FOR HOPE;
>> YOU HAVE JUST TUNED INTO TIME FOR HOPE A FAITH-BASED MENTAL
HEALTH PROGRAM. I'M DR. FREDA CREWS YOUR HOST, AND I DO
APPRECIATE OUR FAITHFUL AND REGULAR VIEWERS AND HOPE THAT
MANY NEW ONES WILL BE JOINING US AND WE WILL SOON HE REGULAR
VIEWERS. I AM JOINED TODAY BY AUTHOR, PRESIDENT, AND CEO OF A
US-BASED COMMUNICATIONS CORP. JEANNETTE TOWNS. AND WHAT A
STORY SHE SHARES IN HER BOOK FROM PRISONER TO PRESIDENT. IN
HER BOOK, JEANNETTE PROVIDES AN INSIDE VIEW OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
AND ABUSE FROM HER OWN TRUE STORY. BY GOD'S GRACE JEANETTE'S
STORY HAS A HAPPY ENDING. STAY WITH US
>>AND JEANNETTE IT'S GREAT HAVING YOU ON TIME FOR HOPE.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME DR. FREDA I REALLY APPRECIATE
IT
>> AND I APPRECIATE YOU COMING AND GIVING US YOUR TIME AND THEN
HEARING YOUR STORY ARE VIEWERS WILL REALLY BE CAPTIVATED BY
YOUR STORY. I WAS CAPTIVATED BY YOUR STORY AS I READ IT AND I AM
REALLY GLAD THAT SOMEONE HAS PUT INTO A BOOK FORM FROM AS I'VE
ALREADY SAID AN INSIDE VIEW OF WHAT GOES ON IN AN ABUSIVE
RELATIONSHIP. AND YOU DIDN'T LEAVE ANY DETAILS OUT WHICH I
THINK WILL BE ABLE TO HELP SO MANY WOMEN. AND YOU LOOK GREAT.
YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE YOU EVER SUFFERED A TIME IN AN ABUSIVE
RELATIONSHIP AT ALL.
>>OH I HAVE BEEN COMPLETED AND RESTORED BY JESUS BUT NOBODY
GOES THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH WITHOUT HAVING SCARS BUT I AS I
HAVE SAID THEY HEAL OVER TIME BUT THE SCARS TO REMAIN IT'S A
REMINDER OF WHAT YOU WENT THROUGH AND WHAT YOU HAD
EXPERIENCED IN YOUR LIFE.
>>YOU KNOW WHAT PEOPLE HAVE SAID SOMEONE SAID ON MY SHOW ACTUALLY
THAT THEY HAD BEEN IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. SCARS ARE TOUGH
YOU KNOW WHEN THEY HEAL THEY ARE TOUGH. AS LONG AS IT'S NOT AN
OPEN WOUND THAT CONTINUES TO FESTER. BUT WE'D RATHER HAVE THE
TOUGH SCARS
>>RIGHT BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WRITING THIS STORY, I HAVE THE
PERFECT LIFE. I AM RESTORED I AM A BELIEVER, I'VE GOT AN ACTIVE
MINISTRY I'M RUNNING A CORPORATION, I HAVE A WONDERFUL
AND HEALTHY MARRIAGE TO A WONDERFUL MAN AND FOUR MIRACLE
CHILDREN. WHY WOULD I RISK AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE BEARING
ALL, AND THERE'S ONLY TWO REASONS. ONE, I'M COMPLETELY
INSANE! OR TWO I CLEARLY HEARD FROM GOD. IN BECOMING
TRANSPARENT AND SHARING MY JOURNEY AND I HAD A VISION OF
WRITING THE BOOK OF THE PRESIDENT WHO I AM TODAY. THAT
REALLY DOESN'T SPEAK TO THE PERSON WHO WAS IN THIS ABUSE OR
THE PERSON WHO WOULD LIKE TO GET OUT OF IT OR HAS GOTTEN OUT OF
IT. SO I WROTE THIS FROM THE BEGINNING AND SHOW THE SPIRAL OF
THIS DOMESTIC SITUATION AND WHAT GOES ON INSIDE THE FOUR WALLS OF
A PERSON'S HOME.
>>YOU KNOW WHAT WAS AMAZING TO ME IS YOU DIDN'T FIT THE
PROFILE. YOU CAME FROM A WONDERFUL HOME ENVIRONMENT AND I
REALLY HAVE SUCH ADMIRATION FOR YOUR FATHER IN READING THE BOOK
AND KNOWING HOW HE CAME THROUGH FOR YOU. AND SO I WANT TO KNOW
RIGHT OFF AND I'M GONNA ASK RIGHT OFF , HOW IN THE WORLD DID
YOU END UP IN THIS RELATIONSHIP TO START WITH?
>>WELL THAT'S A REALLY GOOD QUESTION. I BELIEVED THE LIE SO
19 YEARS OLD I WAS A NURSING COLLEGE STUDENT I WAS WORKING AS
A WAITRESS AND I REALLY MET THIS MAN OF MY DREAMS AND BELIEVED
THE MANIPULATION LIES THAT I WAS FED. IF YOU DON'T HAVE ANYONE
THAT'S EVER LIED TO YOU DR. FREDA, IT'S VERY HARD TO SEE
WHEN SOMEBODY IS LYING TO YOU. SO I FELL FOR IT I WAS IN THE
PERFECT STORM, TAKEN AWAY, AND AWAY FROM MY FAMILY AND PRETTY
MUCH CUT OFF FROM ANYBODY THAT I KNEW. SO I HAD NO FAMILY OR
FRIENDS CLOSE TO ME AT ALL.
>>TIMING HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT DIDN'T IT? WITH YOUR
PARENTS LEAVING AND YOU BEING ALONE AND PROBABLY MIGHT NEVER
HAVE COME IN CONTACT WITH SUCH A PERSON. THE CHARISMA THAT THESE
GUYS HAVE IS AMAZING THAT THEY CAN BE TWO OR THREE PEOPLE AND
I'M SURE HE CAME ACROSS TO A 19-YEAR-OLD WITH ALL OF THAT AND
YOU WERE, AS YOU SAID IN YOUR BOOK YOU THOUGHT YOU'D FOUND
YOUR PRINCE CHARMING.
>>ABSOLUTELY HE WAS MESMERIZING. HE WAS JUST CAPTIVATING. AND I
HAD MET BOYS IN HIGH SCHOOL AND YOU KNOW AND THEY WERE THE GUYS
>>THEY DIDN'T MEASURE UP
>>YOU WENT TO PROMS WITH AND YOU HUNG OUT WITH AND ATE FRENCH
FRIES WITH. BUT THEY WEREN'T MEN. AND I WAS JUST CAPTIVATED
AND CERTAIN THAT THIS WAS THE MAN I WAS GONNA BUILD A LIFE
WITH, HAVE A FAMILY WITH, HAVE THE PICKET FENCE AND THE PERFECT
LIFE
>>HE SWEPT YOU OFF YOUR FEET. NOW HOW LONG AFTER YOU ARE
MARRIED QUICKLY, RIGHT? HOW LONG HAD YOU KNOWN HIM?
>>I KNEW HIM ACTUALLY ABOUT A YEAR. AND THEN I MARRIED HIM. I
ELOPED ACTUALLY THERE WAS NO WHITE WEDDING ACTUALLY THERE WAS
NO MY DADDY GIVIN' ME AWAY AND WALKING DOWN THE AISLE AND WE
JUST WENT OFF AND FILED A PIECE OF PAPER, AND I MOVE MY WHOLE
LIFE AROUND THIS MAN, AND HE HAS A DAUGHTER SO I BECAME AN
INSTANT MOM TO A THREE-YEAR-OLD.
>>NOW HOW SOON AFTER YOU WERE MARRIED DID HE START THE
VIOLENCE OR THE ABUSE?
>>IT WAS ACTUALLY JUST A COUPLE MONTHS AFTER BEING MARRIED. SO
ONE OF THE FIRST EPISODES OF ABUSE I QUESTIONED HIM AFTER
SEEING HIM GET INTO A CAR WITH A WOMAN AND I THOUGHT I SAW HIM
KISS HER OUTSIDE OF MY HOME AND THAT NIGHT HE TORMENTED ME BY
POURING 5 GALLONS OF WATER ON TOP OF ME WHILE I WAS NOT
ALLOWED TO LEAVE MY CHAIR.
>>5 GALLONS OF WATER ON TOP OF YOU BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT IT
WITH ANOTHER WOMAN?
>>BECAUSE I QUESTIONED HIM ABOUT SEEING SOMEBODY YEAH.
>>SO THAT'S IT HOW IT ALL STARTED?
>>YES IT DID DR.
>>AS I SAY I'VE KNOWN ABOUT ABUSE AND SO FORTH BUT I'VE
NEVER QUITE READ A STORY LIKE THIS ONE SO YOU ARE VERY BRAVE
TO WRITE IT
>>LAUGH
S
>> AND EVEN TELL THESE THINGS AND THEN YOU WERE VERY BRAVE TO
STAY. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THAT AND IT IS TIME FOR A BREAK AND
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>FORMER TIME FOR HOPE GUEST JUNE HUNT DESCRIBES DOMESTIC ABUSE":
IF WE THINK ABOUT ABUSE AS BEING MISTREATMENT, IT WOULD BE
CONSIDERING HOW DO YOU VERBALLY TALK TO ANOTHER PERSON OR HOW IS
SOMEONE TALKING TO YOU? FOR EXAMPLE, IF THERE'S BELITTLING,
IF THERE'S SHAMING, IF THERE'S NAME-CALLING, THESE ARE EXAMPLES
OF VERBAL ABUSE WHEREAS EMOTIONAL ABUSE MAY NOT BE
VERBAL, IT COULD BE WELL, USING THE SILENT TREATMENT.
>>AGAIN I SAY THANK YOU FOR JOINING US TODAY ON TIME FOR
HOPE OUR GUEST IS JEANETTE TOWNE. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HER
BOOK, FROM PRISONER TO PRESIDENT. BUT AS ALWAYS I WANT
TO SHARE SOMETHING FROM A VIEWER AND THEN I'M GOING TO TURNED
BACK TO JEANETTE TO HELP ME WITH THIS PARTICULAR PRAYER REQUEST.
LETTER FROM A VIEWER
AND OF COURSE THAT IS WHERE I WOULD SAY IS GROUND ZERO TO
START WITH PRAYER. AND WE HAVE JOINED YOU IN PRAYING ABOUT THIS
SITUATION. WE DO IT WITH EACH AND EVERY PRAYER REQUEST THAT
COMES IN TO TIME FOR HOPE. AND IF YOU HAVEN'T SHARED YOURS WITH
US WE ENCOURAGE YOU TO DO SO AGAIN AS ALWAYS I ENCOURAGE YOU
TO VISIT OUR WEBSITE: WWW.TIMEFORHOPE.ORG AND WE'RE
GOING TO BE ADDING JEANETTE'S BOOK TO THAT RESOURCE LIST. NOW
JEANETTE THIS IS A VERY COMMON STORY. SHE'S BEEN IN IT FOR 35
YEARS. AND SHE MENTIONS HER HUSBAND'S EMOTIONAL, WHICH COULD
BE EMOTIONAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL AND VERBAL ABUSE AND INFIDELITY
THAT HE HASN'T USED THE PHYSICAL ON HER THAT YOU WENT THROUGH IN
YOUR 10 YEARS I BELIEVE OF MARRIAGE. BUT THE EMOTIONAL
PSYCHOLOGICAL, VERBAL ABUSE CAN BE WORSE EVEN THAN THE PHYSICAL
AS YOU HAVE SAID IN YOUR BOOK. PHYSICAL SOMETIMES WILL HEAL.
NOW IT CAN BE BAD ENOUGH PHYSICALLY YOU DON'T HEAL OR YOU
KNOW IT EVEN COMES TO DEATH. AND SO FORTH, BUT LONG-TERM
PSYCHOLOGICAL, VERBAL ABUSE IS VERY DEVASTATING. IT WILL CAUSE
PHYSICAL ILLNESS, IT WILL CAUSE ONE TO LOSE A SENSE OF
THEMSELVES, ALL KINDS OF THINGS HAPPEN WITH THIS. APPARENTLY SHE
STILL IS IN THE RELATIONSHIP. ANOTHER THING I WANT TO ASK YOU.
I PERSONALLY SEE INFIDELITY AS ABUSE. I THINK IT COULD BE NAMED
RIGHT ALONG WITH THE PHYSICAL, AND THE VERBAL ABUSE. I MEAN HOW
MUCH WORSE COULD IT BE THAN BEING UNFAITHFUL OR HAVING
AFFAIRS OR THE INFIDELITY IN MARRIAGE. AND YET SHE HAS
STAYED. PROBABLY SOME OF THIS LEADS TO THE FACT THAT HE HAS
MADE A PROFESSION OF FAITH. WHEN WE DO NOT KNOW. AND HE HAS GONE
TO COUNSELING WITH HER AND SHE FINDS THAT ENCOURAGING DOESN'T
SHE? HE IS GIVING HER JUST ENOUGH TO KEEP HER HOPING.
>>AND THEY ALWAYS WILL DR. FREDA. YOU SAID A COUPLE OF
THINGS IN MY HEART GOES OUT TO THIS VIEWER FIRST OF ALL. AND I
DO PRAY. I AM A PRAYER WARRIOR AND I PRAY FOR THE MANY WOMEN
THAT I KNOW HAVE GONE THROUGH THESE YOU KNOW SITUATIONS OR ARE
STILL IN THEM. AND THE NUMBER OF YEARS. SHE'S EXPECTING HIM TO
CHANGE, BUT HE WON'T. AND THE OTHER THING A LOT OF WOMEN
STAYING WITH MEN FOR THE NUMBER OF YEARS, IT'S ENCOURAGED BY THE
FAMILY OR BY THE FAITH. I WAS RAISED IN A HOME CHILDREN
INVOLVED WITH IT. PEOPLE DID NOT GET DIVORCED. YOU KNOW IT WAS
SOMETHING THAT WAS FORBIDDEN AND I WAS RAISED A CATHOLIC. SO MY
PARENTS DRILLED INTO US, THICK OR THIN, BETTER OR WORSE.
NOBODY, GOD DOES NOT WANT HIS WOMEN TO BE STAYING IN
RELATIONSHIPS WHERE THERE IS ABUSE. AND THAT VERBAL, YOU
MENTIONED THE VERBAL ABUSE, IT'S BY FAR WORSE. LONG AFTER MY
PHYSICAL ABUSE MEMORIES HAVE FADED, AND YOU KNOW I HAD THE
WORST POSSIBLE SITUATION. RAPE, KNIVES, GUNS. I HAD ALL OF THAT.
I WAS HOSPITALIZED. BUT THAT VERBAL ABUSE, YOU HEAR IT, AND
YOU HEAR THAT NEGATIVE TALK IN YOUR HEAD FOR YEARS AFTER YOU
LEAVE THE RELATIONSHIP. AND YOU ALSO MENTIONED THE AFFAIR. HOW
MUCH MORE REJECTION CAN YOU HAVE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WHEN THE
MOST INTIMATE THING THAT GOD MADE FOR A COUPLE TO SHARE
TOGETHER IN MATRIMONY, THAT INTIMACY IS BROKEN, WHERE THE
MAN GOES OFF AND REJECTS YOU THAT NOT ONLY ABUSES YOU BUT
GOES FOR SOMEBODY ELSE
>>PLUS THE RISK OF BRINGING HOME TO YOU WHAT YOU EXPERIENCED,
THESE SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES. AND WE DON'T KNOW IF
THAT HAS HAPPENED, SHE DIDN'T MENTION THAT THAT HAS HAPPENED
TO HER. BUT IT'S A MIRACLE IF IT HASN'T, IF HE HAS REGULARLY BEEN
UNFAITHFUL TO HER. AND IT DID HAPPEN TO YOU.
>>IT DID ABSOLUTELY. AT FIRST I DIDN'T KNOW BECAUSE THERE AREN'T
A LOT OF SYMPTOMS AS MANY WOMEN KNOW, BUT OVER THE YEARS I WAS
GIVEN SO MANY TRANSMITTED DISEASES SO MANY TIMES THAT IT
LEFT ME BARREN AT THE END OF THE RELATIONSHIP. UNABLE TO CONCEIVE
A CHILD.
>>AND YOU ARE IN A LOT OF PAIN AND VERY NEAR DEATH.
>>YES I ALMOST LOST MY LIFE.
>>BUT THANKFULLY AS I'VE ALREADY SAID THE END OF YOUR STORY YOU
HAVE A HAPPY ENDING AND WE WANT TO COME BACK AND HEAR MORE AND
MORE ABOUT THAT AND IT IS TIME FOR A BREAK IN IS TIME FOR A
BREAK AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
>> OUR NEWSPAPER RELATED HOW HE HAD STALKED HER FOR WEEKS AFTER
THE RELATIONSHIP HAD GONE SOUR. AS SHE MADE HER WAY INTO THE
BARN TO FEED HER HORSES HE WAS WAITING FOR HER. HER X-LOVER
TIED HER UP, BEAT HER AND THEN SHOT AND KILLED HER. IN OUR
COUNTRY ALONE THERE ARE AN ESTIMATED FOUR TO SIX MILLION
INCIDENTS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN EVERY YEAR. IN
FACT ONE THIRD OF FEMALE HOMICIDE VICTIMS ARE KILLED BY
HUSBANDS OR BOYFRIENDS. AND A STUDY AMONG TEXAS HIGH SCHOOL
STUDENTS REVEALED 35% HAD EXPERIENCED VARIOUS LEVELS OF
VIOLENCE IN THEIR DATING RELATIONSHIPS. MANY MYTHS
PREVAIL REGARDING WHY WOMEN ALLOW THEMSELVES TO BE ABUSED BY
THEIR HUSBANDS OR BOYFRIENDS. FOR SURE, IT ISN'T TRUE THAT
THEY DESIRE OR HAVE A DEEP INNER NEED TO BE ABUSED. IT CAN BE
TRUE THAT THEY HAVE COME FROM HOMES WHERE VIOLENCE AND ABUSE
WERE THE NORM AND THEY HAVE NOT LEARNED THAT IT IS VERY ABNORMAL
BEHAVIOR. PERHAPS IT IS THE DESIRE TO BE LOVED, AND
SOMETIMES AT ANY COST, BECAUSE THEIR LOVE-TANKS HAVE BEEN EMPTY
ALL THEIR LIVES. MOST WOMEN WHO REMAIN IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS,
FOR WHATEVER REASON, FEEL AND BELIEVE THERE IS NO WAY OUT.
SOME EVEN BELIEVE THEY DESERVE THE ABUSE. TO BREAK FREE, WOMEN
MUST BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY ABUSE - IT IS NOT ONLY BEING BEATEN
PHYSICALLY. ABUSE INCLUDES VERBAL, EMOTIONAL, SEXUAL AND
OTHER VERSIONS OF A SPOUSE'S POWER AND CONTROL THAT ROBS YOU
OF YOUR PERSONHOOD. WOMEN: ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS ARE
ABNORMAL, UNHEALTHY AND DANGEROUS. LET ME ENCOURAGE ALL
WOMEN TO CONFRONT THE LIE THAT YOUR DESTINY INCLUDES BEING A
VICTIM OF LIFE AND LOVE AND INSTEAD ACCEPT THE TRUTH THAT
YOU DON'T HAVE TO REMAIN IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP. THERE IS
HELP AVAILABLE. HOWEVER, THE RISK OF FATAL HARM FROM THE
ABUSER IS GREATEST AT THE TIME YOU CHOOSE TO LEAVE AND END THE
RELATIONSHIP. SINCE THIS IS TRUE YOU WILL NEED DIRECTION AND HELP
AND A SAFE PLACE TO GO. CHECK OUT YOUR LOCAL AREA FOR SHELTERS
FOR BATTERED WOMEN. THEY WILL GUIDE AND HELP YOU. IF ONE IS
NOT AVAILABLE FIND A MENTAL HEALTH FACILITY WHERE TRAINED
COUNSELORS ARE AVAILABLE. MAYBE THE ABUSE STARTED OUT AS VERBAL
BUT IS ESCALATING TO THE PHYSICAL. NOW IS THE TIME TO
ACT. ASK GOD TO GUIDE AND GIVE YOU THE COURAGE TO DO WHAT YOU
HAVE TO DO ( 1 JOHN 5:14-15: HOLY BIBLE)
>> THANK YOU FOR STAYING WITH US. OUR GUEST IS JEANETTE TOWNE
AND WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HER BOOK, FROM PRISONER TO
PRESIDENT. AND YOU KNOW JEANNETTE, I SEE IN READING YOUR
STORY, THAT YOU WERE INDEED A PRISONER. IT SO REMINDS ME OF
HAVING BEEN KIDNAPPED AND THEN PROGRAMMED, UNTIL YOU DIDN'T SEE
A WAY OUT. OR YOU DIDN'T SEE ANY HOPE APPARENTLY THAT THINGS...
THAT YOU DIDN'T HOPE HE WAS GONNA GET BETTER. YOU KNEW AT
SOME POINT THAT HE WAS NOT GONNA CHANGE AND WE WANNA TELL THESE
WOMEN OUT THERE THAT AS A GENERAL RULE, THEY DON'T CHANGE.
IT TAKES A MIRACLE OF GOD TO CHANGE THIS KIND OF MAN, RIGHT
>>YES ABSOLUTELY.
>>AND IT DOES HAPPEN, WE DON'T WANT TO SAY IT DOESN'T. BUT TO
STAY AROUND WAITING ON THAT TO HAPPEN WHEN THERE'S NOTHING TO
GO ON AND HE DOES THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND OVER. HE DOES
EITHER THE VERBAL ABUSE WHICH IS SOMETIMES A CONSTANT DAY AFTER
DAY THING, LIKE A DRIPPING, OR IF THERE ARE THE TIMES IT
BUILDS, THE CYCLE BUILDS AND THEN THE PHYSICAL ABUSE AND EVEN
WITH VERBAL IT BUILDS ALL SO TO A POINT. BUT THERE'S THE
HONEYMOON STAGE AREA OFTEN AFTER THAT WHERE THE FLOWERS POUR IN,
AND A DOZEN ROSES, AND I'M GONNA BE BETTER. I'M SORRY THIS. SOME
WOMEN DON'T EVEN GET THAT BY THE WAY, BUT SOME DO AND THAT
ENCOURAGES THEM. THIS TIME HE'S GONNA MAKE IT THIS TIME. WE
WOMEN ARE CAPABLE OF BELIEVING BECAUSE THAT'S OUR NATURE. TO
WANT TO FIX, TO WANT TO HELP, TO WANT THINGS TO CHANGE RIGHT?
>>I WAS NURSING STUDENT AS I MENTIONED, SO I HAD A HEART TO
HEAL AND I FEEL LIKE I AM A REALLY NURTURING PERSON AS OF BY
NATURE AND I HAVE FOUR CHILDREN TODAY SO I LOVE BEING A MOM.
>>THAT AMAZES ME AFTER READING YOUR STORY I BELIEVE YOU HAD ONE
AFTER READING THE BOOK.
>>I ACTUALLY DELIVERED MIRACLE TWINS BIOLOGICALS, AND I FOSTER
ADOPTED MY TWO YOUNGEST SO I HAVE A QUIVER FULL NOW. BUT YOU
MENTION THIS HONEY MOON PERIOD. .. I LIKEN IT TO THE VERY
BEGINNING OF JUST WOOING YOU WITH THE MOST AMAZING AMOUNTS OF
ATTENTION AND FLOWERS AND I LOVE YOU AND I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN.
THEN IT PROGRESSES TO THE POINT WHERE EVEN IF THEY DO SAY
THEY'RE SORRY YOU DON'T BELIEVE THEM, AND FOR ME THE FINAL STAGE
I HAD NO WAY TO ESCAPE. I WAS THREATENED AND TOLD IF I EVER
DID LEAVE, THAT I WOULD BECOME A VICTIM. THEY WOULD NEVER FIND
THE PIECES. HE'S A VERY SCARY INDIVIDUAL AND I ABSOLUTELY
BELIEVED THAT HE WOULD KILL ME AND PROBABLY KILL MY FAMILY AS
WELL IF I EVER TRIED TO LEAVE. SO I BELIEVED I HAD NO WAY OUT
EXCEPT FOR MURDER.
>>AND THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS PEOPLE ASK WHY DO WOMEN STAY IN
SUCH A SITUATION LIKE THAT? THAT'S ONE OF THE VERY REASONS
ISN'T IT? THAT THEY HAVE A WAY OF TRAUMATIZING AND FILLING A
WOMAN WITH FEAR OF ALL KINDS OF THINGS. IT'S EVEN LIKE SEXUAL
ABUSE OF A CHILD, YOU TELL AND THIS IS WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
AND THAT FEAR BUILDS UP AND THEY DON'T TELL AND THE SAME THING
HAPPENED IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND HAPPENS IN WELL IT'S LIKE
MILLIONS OF WOMEN THAT EXPERIENCE THIS KIND OF ABUSE OR
SOME KIND OF ABUSE IN THEIR RELATIONSHIPS EVERY YEAR IN
AMERICA.
>>RIGHT IT'S ONE IN FIVE HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS. ONE IN FOUR BY THE
TIME YOU MAKE THE COLLEGE. AND WOMEN, IT'S ONE IN THREE. SO
MANY WOMEN ARE KEEPING THIS COVERED UP, THEY'RE HIDING IT,
THEY'RE EMBARRASSED BY IT, AND IT'S SOMETHING THAT CAN'T BE
HIDDEN ANYMORE AND IT SHOULDN'T BE HIDDEN IN I ENCOURAGE WOMEN
GET OUT. GET OUT. GET OUT TILL SOMEONE TELL A PASTOR AND IF YOU
GET POOR ADVICE, GET SAFE, AND LEAVE ABSOLUTELY.
>>THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT TELLING SOMEONE ABOUT IT THAT
CAN BE VERY THERAPEUTIC AND VERY ENCOURAGING ISN'T THERE? TO TALK
TO SOMEONE BECAUSE THEY, THE ABUSER, ENCOURAGES ISOLATION AND
STAYING AWAY FROM PEOPLE AND KEEPING YOU AWAY FROM PEOPLE SO
THAT YOU CAN'T TELL AND NO ONE FINDS OUT IT'S A SECRET ISN'T IT?
>>RIGHT SO NOT ONLY ARE YOU THREATENED WHICH ARE CUT OFF
FROM ANYBODY OR ANYTHING ALLOWED TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIPS. I HAD
NO RELATIONSHIPS OUTSIDE OF THIS ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, BECAUSE
THEY WERE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME TO HAVE SO I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO
HAVE THEM.
>>TELL US ABOUT THE ENDING OF YOUR STORY, THE HAPPY ENDING. I
KNOW YOUR FATHER PLAYED A TREMENDOUS ROLE. THEY CAME BACK
TO THE STATES THEY WERE GONE, AND I'M SURE THAT GAVE YOU
ENCOURAGEMENT TO DO SOMETHING BUT I THINK IT WAS A HAMMER
EPISODE WASN'T?
>>YES IT WAS DR. FREDA. SO IT WAS THE NIGHT THAT THIS ALL CAME
DOWN. HE CAME HOME AND WAS YOU KNOW OUT AND DRINKING AND HE HAD
VIOLATED ME THAT NIGHT AND I WAS IN THE GUEST BEDROOM AT NIGHT
AND SO THE NEXT DAY I WAS GETTING READY FOR WORK AND I WAS
VERY EMPTY SHELL AND VERY ANGRY ABOUT IT. THEN I REALIZED AS I
WAS GETTING READY TO LEAVE THAT HE HAD TAKEN MY PURSE. SO I
SNUCK INTO THE MASTER BEDROOM AND I HOPE HE WAS IN THERE ALONE
BECAUSE HE DID BRING WOMEN HOME SOMETIMES
>>RIGHT AND NOTICED THAT IN THE BOOK
>>SIGH WHEN YOU GET MY PURSE AND I MADE A LOUD NOISE AND HE WOKE
UP AND THERE WAS A HAMMER IN THE ROOM. HE GRABBED IT COMING OVER
TO CRUSH INTO MY SKULL AND I LOOKED UP AT HIM AND TOLD HIM,
GO AHEAD AND KILL ME. YOU'LL NEVER TOUCH ME ANOTHER DAY. AND
I FEEL LIKE GOD SENT AN AMAZING MASS OF WARRING ANGELS TO STAND
IN THE GAP. HE DIDN'T TOUCH ME. HE WALKED AWAY, DROPPED THE
HAMMER AND I FLED, NEVER TO TURN AROUND AGAIN.
>>YES YOU HAD BEEN PRAYING A LONG TIME FOR THAT MOMENT,
HADN'T YOU? AND GOD CAME THROUGH. AND I THINK IT ALSO
SHOWS SOMETHING THAT WOMEN NEED TO KNOW. IF YOU DON'T COWER
UNDER THEIR POWER AND THEIR CONTROL, THEY SOMETIMES THAT
SCARES THEM AWAY SO TO SPEAK. AS LONG AS YOU ARE UNDER THEIR
CONTROL AND DON'T SHOW, BUT RESISTANCE CAN BE DANGEROUS ALSO
BEEN TRYING TO LEAVE CAN BE DANGEROUS. IT HAS TO BE PLANNED
AND CALCULATED TO STAY SAFE. SO WE WANT WOMEN TO KNOW YOU DON'T
JUST SUDDENLY DECIDE YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE YOU KNOW. THERE ARE
PLANS TO BE MADE. THERE'S RISK INVOLVED, AND YOU NEED HELP WHEN
YOU NEED SUPPORT. AND YOU DID HAVE THE HELP AND SUPPORT OF
YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR FATHER ESPECIALLY SO WE WOULD PUT THAT
MESSAGE OUT FOR SURE TO WOMEN. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING
YOUR STORY WITH US AND I ENCOURAGE OUR VIEWERS TO GET
THIS BOOK. AS I'VE SAID ALL ALONG IT IS SOME KIND OF A
STORY. BUT IT'S REAL. THAT'S WHAT MAKES THE DIFFERENCE, IT IS
A REAL PERSONAL STORY OF TRAGEDY AND TRIUMPH. PRAISE THE LORD FOR
THAT RIGHT? YOU HAVE BEEN SO CAREFUL TO GIVE HIM THE HONOR
AND GLORY FOR THE WAY YOUR STORY ENDED. AND AGAIN THANK YOU AND I
DO ENCOURAGE YOU TO GET A COPY OF JEANETTE'S BOOK. YOU WILL SAY
AS I HAVE THAT IT'S QUITE A STORY AND I ALSO ENCOURAGE YOU
TO JOIN US AGAIN NEXT WEEK ON TIME FOR HOPE.
>>AS A TOKEN OF OUR APPRECIATION FOR JOINING IS ON TIME FOR HOPE,
WE WOULD LIKE TO OFFER YOU A FREE ONE PAGE FACT SHEET WHICH
CONTAINS ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ON THIS SUBJECT. LOG ONTO OUR
WEBSITE AT WWW.TIMEFORHOPE.ORG
>>TO VIEW AND PRINT OUR FACT SHEETS OR YOU CAN CALL US AT
1-800-669-9133 AND WE WILL SEND YOU A COPY FREE OF CHARGE. ALSO
AT WWW.TIMEFORHOPE.ORG
>> WHEN YOU WATCH OTHER MINISTRY PROGRAMS, YOU EXPECT A REQUEST
FOR YOUR FINANCIAL HELP. YOU MIGHT NOT THINK OF TIME FOR HOPE
AS A MINISTRY, BECAUSE IT IS A DIFFERENT KIND OF MINISTRY.
BEING A FAITH-BASED MENTAL HEALTH MINISTRY MEANS THAT OUR
MISSION IS TO OFFER HOPE TO HURTING PEOPLE BY INTEGRATING
PRACTICAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL AND BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVES AND TRUTHS
RELATED BY PERSONS WHO TELL THEIR REAL-LIFE STORIES,
PROFESSIONALS WHO SHARE THEIR EXPERTISE, AND SPIRITUAL
DIRECTORS WHO OFFER THE HOPE THAT CAN BE FOUND IN A
RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS CHRIST AND THROUGH THE PROMISES OF GOD
FOUND IN THE HOLY BIBLE. THE REALITY IS THAT TIME FOR HOPE IS
A MINISTRY AND CAN USE YOUR FINANCIAL SUPPORT AS WE OFFER
HOPE TO POTENTIALLY MILLIONS OF PEOPLE EACH WEEK. AND WITH YOUR
FINANCIAL HELP, WHEN THEIR DARKNESS TURNS TO LIGHT, YOU CAN
KNOW THAT YOU HELPED MAKE IT HAPPEN.
>> JOIN US NEXT WEEK WHEN DR. CREWS AND HER GUESTS WILL BE
DISCUSSING ANOTHER INSIGHTFUL TOPIC. UNTIL NEXT TIME, HAVE A
GREAT WEEK AND REMEMBER IT IS"TIME FOR HOPE!" . . . . . . .