Big Bang "Fantastic Baby"

[music]
This week's Music Monday is BREAK FREE edition
with Big Bang's Fantastic Baby
[music]
Ok, so Blue and Bad Boy were great and vastly different songs,
while this is the Big Bang party anthem we were waiting for.
Fantastic Baby is the song that's going to get you out of your seats
and mule kicking the bouncers the clubs like what
(did you just say mule kick the bouncers)
yup
Why would you do that?
That’s what happens when I party. I become a party animal
Can I see your mule kick?
no
Now before we go any further,
I have to address the state which is GD’s hair.
#1 Nice pink. *wink and point*
#2 I feel like this video has finally allowed me to understand
why your hair has gotten to this dreadful point.
I think you’re looking like the perfect cartoon villain.
You kind of look like Kefka from Final Fantasy 6
I’m not supposed to find you attractive
because you’re evil and bad
and have creepy long thin hair that gives people the chibblyjibblies,
I was supposed to say “hibblyjibblies” but “chibblyjibblies” came out
but you still have that aura of the bizarre good looks
and fashion that keeps me unable to say that I hate it.
Do I want you to keep your hair like that? 100% NO.
But I do think it 100% matches your
derelict mad hatter King look.
Just...please cut it in the future.
Ok. I know it’s pretty woven in there. It’s a pretty mad weave
you’re walking around like this cuz it’s so heavy
but once you’re done with this phase let’s just...bzzzz
Cut that hair right back down. Glad we had this talk
So let’s explain their looks because I think they’re very relevant.
At the beginning of the video GD’s hair is unruly and crazy long
and his makeup is dirtily smudged as if he’s been
withering away and trapped in this place for too long,
but once his people rebel and rise up,
GD is bandaged up from the battlescars,
and his hair and makeup become shorter and cleaner.
We see the same thing happen to the rest of the members:
a frozen Taeyang defrosts to reveal tattoos that say ALIVE,
a chained up Daesung breaks free of his personal constraints,
TOP leaves the confines of his picture frames and regains his throne,
and Seungri...um...he um...finally gets...women to wear pleather
and dress up like cats for him.
That too, was relevant...
...i tried
and then I’ll break free of the chains,
since I was really the only one holding myself back.
Daesung man, that’s beautiful. What about you Seungri?
Well GD I’m glad you asked.
I picture myself surrounded by a sexy harem of girls
dressed up like cat ladies, and I’m all like
covered in sexy scratches, cuz they.
well you know...I’m slightly allergic to cats
it’ll get all swolen and itchy. It would be uncomfortable
It would...it would
TAEYANG! Why don’t you put on a shirt man!
You don’t have a shirt on man!
Why’s everyone picking on me?
I just want to see cat ladies AAAAAHHH
Seriously Taeyang: put on some clothes.
Everyone likes to talk about how GD is the most fashionable Kpop idol out there
because of all the fashionable clothes he wears
You, clearly though, are the least fashionable person in Kpop,
since you never wear any clothes.
I mean, look at the frost scene!
You thaw all the ice off your body.
That wouldn’t be necessary, if you would have tried something called...a shirt.
You should check them out sometimes!
They’re only, like, one of the first three inventions in the history of mankind,
right up there with fire and wheel
In fact, I’m starting to feel bad for Taeyang a bit.
Look at him, at least trying to put on clothes,
but accidentally putting on the rain gutter on one arm and getting stuck.
It’s ok Taeyang. I’ll let you borrow one of my shirts.
Here: I got an Extra Viva La Spudgy shirt, just for you.
No! It’s ok! You don’t have to thank me!
Just, I know that you’re really low on shirts
Just make sure you wear this for all of your concerts
and your commercials from now on NO NO!
Don’t fight it! I’m here to help!
Eatyourkimchi: clothing the Kpop stars since...forever
So the basic plot of this video and song is to not hold back,
to let yourself go, just to dance and be yourself.
Big Bang, you say that now, but you might regret that
when we come to your supercool dance party.
[cut to crappy dance]
It seems that the Don’t dance police,
the lamest police force on the planet
most likely sponsored by the council of BAN EVERYTHING REMOTELY SEXY,
are fighting against the people that King GD has finally riled up.
Having broken out of his prison,
GD looks great and all cocky sitting on his throne
which is resting on a junk pile,
and, what I think is a very cool detail,
the chained up letters ACT
which could either mean get up and ACT, like Act out
or it could be part of the letters to form the word FANTASTIC,
which, later on in the video, once everyone’s been freed from the riot police
you see up on the walls behind them with the same
kind of style of, like, metal letter
I thought that was kind of...a cool detail.
I don’t know if it was planned or not, but I liked it
Now we loved the whole BOOMSHAKALAKA.
I grew up playing NBA Jam,
and Boomshakalaka is a part of my vocabulary as a kid
...and...as an adult too.
Hearing it now, sounding like it's booming from a thundergod above the clouds,
is bloody perfect.
But the whole WOW, FANTASTIC BABY
is becoming dangerously overused in our household.
WOW.
FANTASTIC BABY!
DANCE!!! WHOOOO OOOO.
I wanna dance dance dance da nance!
[terrible rendition of the rest of the song]
Ah yes. Just like Teen Top’s sexy hai
and Super Junior’s BLOW YOUR MIND,
this has now become a part of our normal vocabulary,
in which we use to confuse all of our non-kpop friends
I think you guys know what we’re talking about.
[music]
Sexy HAYY!!
I didn’t mean it in a bad way!
Spudgyboy!
Hay guy!
Cuz I’m the Spudgy! And everybody wants to love me!
Love did you see my hat?
No, did you lose it?
IIIII LOST MY HAT
RIPITO FIPITO SIPI SLOW MOTION
DUCKY?
Yes love!
We should go for ice cream.
No, that’s a bad idea.
Y?
Because we need to go on a diet?
Y?
Because we’ve been eating too much bad foods
Y?
Because people mail us candies all the time.
P-A-R-T...Y?
You raise a very good point
But, a big complaint we have is with TOP.
And it’s not just me, so don’t call me anti-TOP or anything.
Martina agrees with me here.
I don’t know if he’s going for an image change or if he’s just not into it,
but TOP’s presence in these last few videos seems so uncomfortable.
There is a way to be both smooth and passionate,
which I think he displayed really well during his Turn It Up now video and Buggeygayo.
But we feel like he’s really changing his image lately,
and it just doesn’t seem like he’s that passionate in his videos anymore
Now, I love love love the scene with him in the photo frames.
It was just such a unique concept
and he looks like a super confident regal Mr. Freeze in portrait format,
and it’s awesome
But it doesn’t really seem to match the feel
of the song and the video.
I mean, ok - we get it
If you look at the lyrics, he’s supposed to be
indifferent and arrogant and cocky during that scene
and that matches very well,
but at the end of the video, when everyone’s letting loose,
but TOP’s still in that kind of, like, posing stage
And I feel like he was really just lacking some bombast.
He has one of the most badass, wild,
shout your ass off lines in Kpop.
BOOMSHAKALAKA!
And...what does he do?
He just looks at the camera barely moving his lips like
boomshakalaka
He actually looks like he’s bored or not happy with it
Top should have a megaphone up to his mouth,
and his boomshakalaka should come out in an anime style
sound wave which destroys the anti-dance squad.
Is that too much to ask?
A soundwave coming out of TOP’s mouth anime style
to destroy the anti-dance police?
I mean, was anyone else disappointed with that,
or was it just us?
Now, I’ve said so much negative. I want to end with something positive.
TOP: only you can look good in French Pantaloons.
[music]
As for the English of this song, we give this a 5 out of 5.
Besides the main chorus which is totally in English,
there are a few phrases scattered here and there, and they’re all fine.
I know some of you are going to disagree with me,
especially when Seungri says “mama just let me be your lover.”
To me, it clearly suggests that he’s saying, mamacita
as in sexy hot mama,
rather than suggesting an incestuous relationship with his mother.
WOW FANTASTIC BABY!
Well, not that fantastic.
Also, Daesung’s I can’t baby don’t stop this,
I’m taking as two different sentences,
rather than one long confusing one.
So, unless I missed something blaring, I’m giving this 5 out of 5
[music]
Last week we asked you who was better at being bad:
Big Bang in Bad Boy
or Miss A in Bad Girl Good Girl
And Big Bang won, by, like, 2000 votes
That’s ok! I was actually voting for you Miss A!
I love the way Jia was like “Is that a notebook?”
Slaps it out of that guy’s hand
and then someone else was like
Is this your book? And she stepped on it with her little heels
That was really bad.
For this week’s break free edition
we ask you which jailbreak you preferred:
Big Bang’s in “Fantastic Baby” or TVXQ’s in “Mirotic”
Oooooh that’s gonna be a tough one, isn’t it?
Leave your votes in the comments, or in our Facebook poll
and we’ll announce the winners next week
Also, thanks to all the VIPs who voted for Big Bang
for three weeks in a row. Yay!
*sigh*
If there’s a video you want to see for next Music Monday
head on over to http://www.eatyourkimchi.com/kpopcharts
and get voting!
I heard Bilasa and SHINee are making comebacks soon
They better!
Bilasaraptors, you better get together.
Lastly, don’t forget to like and favorite this video
and to subscribe for more Music Mondays
Take it away, Spudgy.
What dance is he gonna do?
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