MARY SWISTARA- How to Survive a Horror Movie


Uploaded by EastValleyBanjoGirl on 29.10.2011

Transcript:
Whenever someone’s in trouble
Good advice is a must
But there’s one situation
Dear Abby has never discussed
If you find yourself trapped in a horror film And you’re scared you won’t survive
Remember these helpful hints And you just may get out alive.
Don’t! take a bath or a shower Never go to bed
Don’t! go into the attic Or hide in the closet instead
Don’t! go to summer camp If you want to keep your head
And if you manage to kill the maniac Make sure he’s dead
When you’re walking past a creepy old house And you hear a bloodcurd’ling scream
Pay no attention; tell yourself It’s just someone having a dream
When you’re walking down a deserted street And you spot an old friend just ahead
Turn around and walk the other way If you know for a fact that she’s dead.
Don’t! take a bath or a shower Never go to bed
Don’t! go into the attic Or hide in the closet instead
Don’t! go to summer camp If you want to keep your head
And if you manage to kill the maniac Make sure he’s dead
If you hear a noise in the basement, Don’t run down.
If he’s killing nurses, and you’re a nurse, Move to another town
If you must stop for gas at a station And they offer you something to eat
Just pretend you’re not hungry ‘Specially if it’s some kind of meat.
Don’t! take a bath or a shower Never go to bed
Don’t! go into the attic Or hide in the closet instead
Don’t! go to summer camp If you want to keep your head
And if you manage to kill the maniac Make sure he’s dead
If it’s dark, use a flashlight A candle can be blown out.
If the killer’s nearby, keep quiet He will hear you if you shout.
If you see a door slowly open Don’t run over to find out why
Just run away as fast as you can Or else you’re gonna die.
Don’t! take a bath or a shower Never go to bed
Don’t! go into the attic Or hide in the closet instead
Don’t! go to summer camp If you want to keep your head
And if you manage to kill the maniac Make sure he’s dead
Never go wandering off by yourself Always carry a gun.
Don’t go wandering off with somebody else ‘Cause he’s certain to be the one.
And if you survive a horror film, when they ask you to be in Part Two
Smile politely and tell them “no, thanks.” ‘Cause the first one to die would be you.
Don’t! take a bath or a shower Never go to bed
Don’t! go into the attic Or hide in the closet instead
Don’t! go to summer camp If you want to keep your head
And if you manage to kill the maniac Make sure he’s dead
I said, if you manage to kill the maniac
Make sure he’s dead!