HWTV Holiday Special - Furry Fools Day

Yon: Greetings Gentlebeasts! And Welcome to Yon the bard's slammin jammin rockin
Top 40!
Ballantine: And he's no holds Bard! It's the Good, the Bard and the Ugly! He's just
kidding! It's our Furry Fools Day show!
Yon: That's right Ballantine! It's a day full of pranks, practical jokes and other tricks.
Huzzah!
Silentwolf: I like the bunny ears your wearing to look like a furry Yon.
(Sounds of splattering tomatoes)
Ronin: Hey! Enough guys! I learned my lesson! Let me out of this stockade and stop
throwing rotten tomatoes at me!
Ballantine: So many tomatoes you'd think it was Furry FRUITS Day!
Ronin: I can't get out! This stockade must be the toughest thing to cut through!
Silentwolf: No, that would be your baloney!
Jon and Drac come running up the tower exhausted:
Drac: We just played a superb practical joke on Grimfrost! We threw toilet paper leaves
all
through his cave!
Jon: "I told you that was a bad idea! But you just...just had to do it!"
Drac: "Hey, you started tossing some too about halfway!"
Jon: Well, I thought it was a service given how much mountain brie he has been eating.
Im
sure he'd appreciate having them convenient.
Drac: Its ok, we all know deep down inside, beneath all that celtic armor and serious
looks
on your face, you really do like to have fun. You have pretty good aim considering how dark
the cave was! What's your secret?
Jon: Ah, Knight vision perhaps? But tossing those eggs down the dungeon may have been
TOO exessive.
Drac: But they were those giant Roc eggs though!
Jon: Climbing up those Roc cliffs, pushing them to Bafflegate then through the chunnel,
up to the Irongate watch to hoist them onto a catapult . . . was it really worth it Drac?
Drac: The catapult? Simply tis' how I Rolleth! When catapults are outlawed, only outlaws,
like Anubians, will have catapults! But it was absolutely worth it! . . . by the way
Jon, you
have a little egg on your face!
Ronin: Better than rotten tomatoes!
Jon: Don't make us start tossing Haggis at you!
Silentwolf: Weeee! I stole Ballantine's sled and a pie from the market!! Fooooood Fighhht
!! *splat*
Yon: Rosebud! Rosebud! . . . no, not rosebud pie, it's gloomberry pie! Can I have a glass
of
milk to go with my face?
Ronin: We may have some left over green grog from St. Patricks Day!
Ballantine: Can I pour you a mug Drac?
Yon: Green grog for a green frog!
Drac: Ok, but stop me at one. . . . Actually make that one thirty! I have to get up early
in
the morning.
Ballantine: Oh, looks like Silentwolf stole my sled again and went sliding down the ramps
of Heartwood. Wouldn't it be a hysterical prank to rig the Heartwood platforms so he
would fall through?
Yon: How would that be different from any other day?
Ballantine: Don't worry though! I got Silentwolf good this morning when I replaced his
mirror with a carnival mirror that made his head look MASSIVE! He freaked out!
Ronin: Well, I saw Jack Thundercloud and his band of pink ponies roaming around
Anglorum and I wanted to cover King Arthur's Camelot Castle in a bright pink with frilly
pink bows and ribbons . . . but his guards didn't appreciate my levity and had me brought
to
the heartwood stockades to set an example! Arthur's WAY too serious!
Jon: Seems you wanted him tickled pink!
Ronin: Well, I wanted to tickle him mercilessly anyway. Besides, I had to give my adoring
fans something I know they were dying for.
Drac: Their money back?
Yon: Ronin, you know I was depending on you to help with the broadcast today!
Ballantine: You know his work schedule Yon! Ronin doesn't work on days that end with . . .
'day'!
Ronin: Besides, it's a victimless crime, like tax evasion, public indecency, or flogging
the
peasants!
Drac: Don't make us get medieval on thee Ronin!
Ronin: Locked in this stockade, I assume thou intend to deliver a most proper flogging to
me?
Yon: You want torture? Don't make me get my lute!
Silentwolf: My arm is too tired from throwing tomatoes to slap you . . . so just bash your
head up against my palm!
Ronin: I knew I should have taken that woodcarving class . . . but that leatherworking and
tanning class was quite enjoyable too I must admit!
Jon: Have your learned your lesson Ronin?
Ronin: Oh, nevinitely!
Ballantine: Uh oh. Here comes Wanderer again . . . and this time he's carrying a lance!
Don't Lance Me 'Bro'! . . . ah, 'beast'!
Jon: Surely you joust!
Ronin: Tis a joke you want? A wench, a squire and knight walk into a bar . . .
(sound of Grimfrost approaching)
Drac: Oh no! It's Grimfrost!
Yon: Quick! Let's use Ronin as Dragon bait!
Ronin: Don't eat me Grimfrost! Having been saturated with tomatoes, I'm covered in
spicy salsa! I'll cause heartburn!
Grimfrost: Knave! Rapscallion!
Ronin: Sticks and stones may break my bones but your fangs will surely crush me!
Jon: And before you eat us, I just want you to know we support our local Dragon rescue
association!
Grimfrost: I don't like jokes or pranks.
Ballantine: Welcome to Grumpy Island! Population: Grimfrost!
Yon: Oh, he's a nice guy! Just don't move too quickly or he'll decapitate you. . . . besides,
if
you can't say anything nice . . . say it about Ronin!
Drac: Sorry about the cave Grimfrost!