F#@KING CENSORS! (subtítulado, sottotitolato) [What Is This Nonsense, Ep. 1]


Uploaded by sppsdlismartgrl on 02.10.2011

Transcript:
Hi, and welcome to the pilot episode of What Is This Nonsense,
where I get worked up about a subject and talk about it
far longer and far more eloquently than the subject probably deserves.
So today I went on a little Key of Awesome binge--
oh, I'm sorry, ♪ The Key of Awesome! ♫--
The cool thing about The Key of Awesome is that they give you alternative lyrics to sing
whenever the song comes on the radio or Muzak or whatever and you don't like the originals.
♪ I'm so tired of these games that we're playing, guess that's why them call them board games! ♫
♪ When I hang around my house, I do it theatrically. Is somebody filming me? ♫
♪ Father, Son, and Bearded Nun ♫
And sometimes they say what you know the artist really wanted to.
♪ Kanye, why are you here? I don't like this version; you're not on the album ♫
♪ I'm peeing in your yard; I'm trying too hard ♫
But I digress. Note, I will do that often.
So I've got my little Key of Awesome playlist,
and I'm doing other stuff so I've got it on,
it's playing, and it's playing,
and then it stops and I'm like What?
And this is on the screen:
And I'm like Wh--I--gh--What? J--Really?
What? Is? This nonsense? I--J--What is this nonsense?
This is the Internet. The INTERNET.
Anybody who can get WiFi can watch anything at any time.
That is the point of the Internet.
Show creators are so worried about censors that we get Disney Channel,
we're so worried about censors on the radio that we get this:
(rap song with half the words censored out)
we're so worried about censors in movies that we get romantic comedies.
The ones that give romantic comedies a really bad name, which is, I'm sorry to say, most of them.
And now we're trying to censor the Internet?
Or rather, we're trying to cut out the boobs and the curse words
and not things like, oh I don't know, bigotry or headily inaccurate, potentially harmful information.
Boobs and curse words. Really? Really, censor people, that's what you're worried about?
I can hear the über-conservatives now: "We have to protect family values."
Again, Disney Channel.
Those are sisters.
If we don't have censors, what's the worst that could happen? Our children see a naked body?
Our children learn about violence? That's called socio-cultural history. Also known as Social Studies.
Our children hear a curse word? That's called going outside.
They're going to have to to do it at some point in their lives.
Now, warnings are ok.
On TV in Spain, they have a little 13+ icon for a mature show, but they don't censor anything.
A five-second pause at the beginning of a video--THERE WILL BE BOOBS AND CURSE WORDS--I can take.
But cutting out stuff to make it more family-friendly?
Not letting movies be made because of too many boobs and curse words?
No. Just--No! What. Is. This nonsense?!
This is why I'm here, bad parents. Let me guide you through this.
Get your kids away from the TV if you think they don't understand the concept of,
"These people are going to say bad words, you don't say them." Done.
Sex scenes? We're never going to see genitals--
they're called bumping uglies for a reason--
your children are going to see boobs, hopefully a six-pack, and then nothing else remotely new to them:
maybe a foot sticking out from under the covers. Come on.
Drugs: Tell them, "You know how when you eat candy, you get hyper?" They'll be like, "Yeah?"
"This is something akin to that. I'll explain it to you in more detail later."
Different drugs make people do different things.
I think I described cocaine with the hyperactivity;
pot makes people really lazy and sleepy, and happy, but primarily lazy and sleepy.
So honestly. Bad parents, show this video to your kids.
MPAA and FCC, you can kiss my Angle Side Side.
Wait, that's not the angle-side-side I meant, but that looks really cool.
Like and favorite this if you agree with me,
leave a comment--I can't promise not to delete it, it depends on your grasp of sanity and English,
or Spanish or Italian, as the case may be--
subscribe if you liked this, and to stick around for more.
I'm going to do political and religious issues as well.
Next video's going to be about Gandhi, Buddha, Che Guevara, and Martin Luther King, Jr.
There's a connection between them more than penis, so keep watching.
I'll probably going to annotate it in once I've done it.
It's also going to be down in the description.
So thanks for watching, see you next time, and bye!