Fresh Off The Boat With Eddie Huang: Los Angeles (Part 1/3)


Uploaded by vice on 10.12.2012

Transcript:
EDDIE HUANG: Somebody's gotta get pregnant on this show.
FEMALE SPEAKER 1: Pregnant?
EDDIE HUANG: Somebody's gotta get pregnant.
This is the somebody-- did he tell you?
This is Vice Media.
Somebody's gotta get pregnant.
We go to different ethnic
neighborhoods, and we make babies.
That's what we do.
FEMALE SPEAKER 1: You'd have a cute baby.
Cute baby.
EDDIE HUANG: Cute.
I mean, that could be a baby.
I could see this baby.
10 points.
There we go.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
EDDIE HUANG: Yeah, I was mad excited about Persian LA.
Came out here, thought I'd run into the Iron Sheik at the
grocery store, cop some plutonium on the corner, catch
an afternoon saffron rainstorm.

What's up?
All right, so when you lost in Persian LA, head to the
fucking rug store, find your neighborhood friendly Persian.
This is Nima Nabavi, world famous.
NIMA NABAVI: Pleasure.
EDDIE HUANG: Thank you for showing us around this
neighborhood.

So what is it that makes Persian rugs so special?
NIMA NABAVI: The main thing is a lot of them take like 10
years to make.
EDDIE HUANG: One rug?
NIMA NABAVI: Yeah, one rug.
EDDIE HUANG: So this was a dude's decade?
How much is one of these?
NIMA NABAVI: Honestly, if this was under 25 grand, I'd be
kind of surprised.
EDDIE HUANG: This is a car.
NIMA NABAVI: We'll ask them.
EDDIE HUANG: This is college.
NIMA NABAVI: Yeah.
EDDIE HUANG: Wow.
NIMA NABAVI: This is a big deal.
EDDIE HUANG: I'ma get on this rug game, because a lot of
people got the sneaker game, the cars.
NIMA NABAVI: The rug game's where it's at, man.
EDDIE HUANG: Wanna be futuristic
with your pimp game?
Rugs.
Persian rugs.
Are those peacocks?
Or phoenix?
What bird is-- what is like the bird?
NIMA NABAVI: They're big cocks, because that's what
we're known for.
EDDIE HUANG: Oh wow.
Pause.
So this is like a car dealership, like somebody
sells a rug, like a $25,000 rug, that's their month?
NIMA NABAVI: Yeah.
EDDIE HUANG: They don't got no doughnuts in here, though, no
doughnuts and coffee?
NIMA NABAVI: Naw, they got baklava and tea.
EDDIE HUANG: What is the food in this neighborhood, though?
NIMA NABAVI: I mean, generally, the stereotype is
kebab and rice and all that, which is dope.
EDDIE HUANG: I seen it.
NIMA NABAVI: But I want to take you to this spot that is
a sandwich spot.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
NIMA NABAVI: This area is officially Persian Square, and
they picked this spot because the sandwich shop we're about
to go to is the first Persian establishment in the area.
EDDIE HUANG: Nice.
NIMA NABAVI: So, been around since '74, so
let's go peep it out.

EDDIE HUANG: They got the brain out on front
street, you see this?
What kind of brain is that, cow brain?
NIMA NABAVI: Sheep.
EDDIE HUANG: I think you should hit the brain, I'm
gonna get the tongue.
NIMA NABAVI: Try a little bit, though.
EDDIE HUANG: I'll try a little bit.

WAITRESS: Here's your brain.
NIMA NABAVI: That's the brains, and two tongues.
WAITRESS: Yes.
NIMA NABAVI: What do you think?
EDDIE HUANG: Delicious.
Tender.
NIMA NABAVI: Yeah, right?
EDDIE HUANG: This tongue feels like I'm at Second
Avenue Deli, man.
Like really, really juicy.
NIMA NABAVI: Legit, right?
EDDIE HUANG: Yeah.
And the pickles, these types of pickles that you get in
like Lebanese food, Persian food.
It's like the tarter, sour, funky, thin pickles.
NIMA NABAVI: You know, it's almost time
for the brain, right?

EDDIE HUANG: You first, kid.
You know what brain looks like to me?
It's like mammal oysters.
NIMA NABAVI: It really is.
EDDIE HUANG: Not even gonna front.
I do it for y'all.
NIMA NABAVI: You'll only be eating brain sandwiches for
the rest of your life.
Watch.

EDDIE HUANG: Here's the thing, this is it
with all the gag foods.
I have no problem eating it-- sweetbreads, whatever.
My thing is just it's never, like, amazing.
NIMA NABAVI: That's what I'm saying.
EDDIE HUANG: It's never eventful.
I'm like, this is all hype.
And that's why I don't bug out over freak food.
NIMA NABAVI: Well, a lot of it, too, is a lot of these
cultures, it was really like--
EDDIE HUANG: They enjoy it.
NIMA NABAVI: Well, it's not even that.
It's like, we kill the sheep, and we eat every part of it.
Like, my dad will come here and swear he loves it.
EDDIE HUANG: What do you got next?
NIMA NABAVI: Yo, next up, we're gonna go have some real
Persian ice cream, man.
EDDIE HUANG: Dope.
NIMA NABAVI: Some real, real shit you've never tried.
EDDIE HUANG: Persian ice cream shop.
I'm ready, kid.
NIMA NABAVI: Alright, man.

EDDIE HUANG: I see the saffron.
I'm getting saffron, I already decided.
NIMA NABAVI: Did you?
EDDIE HUANG: Yeah.
All right, we'll try this frozen, high fiber sorbet.
NIMA NABAVI: There ya go.
EDDIE HUANG: Can I do it with the flavors, like I put
together or not?
ICE CREAM SERVER: Oh yeah, that's how it
comes is this way.
EDDIE HUANG: Oh, good.
Are a lot of Persians lactose intolerant?
NIMA NABAVI: Yup.
EDDIE HUANG: Because that is an epidemic in my
neighborhood--
the milk farters.
Lot of milk farters in Chinatown.
Thank you, sir.
NIMA NABAVI: Thank you, [FARSI].
Oh, you're going to grow a unibrow right now.

EDDIE HUANG: I think my dick just got bigger.
This is like y'all's shark's fin.
NIMA NABAVI: Yeah.
EDDIE HUANG: You know what I mean?
Score 1,500, grandpa will take you out for
some saffron ice cream.
NIMA NABAVI: There ya go.
EDDIE HUANG: Yo, so we ate sandwiches, we looked at rugs.
NIMA NABAVI: True.
EDDIE HUANG: We ate ice cream.
NIMA NABAVI: Yes, sir.
EDDIE HUANG: How would a Persian end this?
NIMA NABAVI: Definitely gotta have some hookah.
EDDIE HUANG: OK.
NIMA NABAVI: So there's a spot up here, it's
called Habibi Cafe.
We should go up there, meet some homies, and fucking get
some smoking.
EDDIE HUANG: OK.

Eddie, nice to meet you.
FEMALE SPEAKER 2: Edgar.
EDDIE HUANG: Eddie.
You're Edgar?
You're Edgar.
Amazing.
Sexy.
This is nice, I like this.
I like this.
Where're you from?
FEMALE SPEAKER 2: We're all Persian.
EDDIE HUANG: All Persian.
I'm glad you all came, because otherwise, these Vice viewers
would've thought all Persians were dudes
with unibrows, right?
NIMA NABAVI: Yeah.
EDDIE HUANG: Pretty much.

Oh wow.
He did put milk in the base.
NIMA NABAVI: I told you.
EDDIE HUANG: Oh, it's an apple.
I did that in high school when I couldn't buy pipes.

We were like, what do Persians do?
And he was like, meet me at the rug shop, then we're going
to go peep sandwiches, then we're gonna eat ice cream.
I was like, dude.
FEMALE SPEAKER 2: Ok, those are three things I've never
done in my life.
EDDIE HUANG: We went to Persian LA.
It's like a good three to five blocks, but it's really like a
bookstore, a music store, an ice cream shop, a rug shop, a
sandwich shop.
You know, a collection of business is not
necessarily a community.
You need the people in there.
You need the vigor, you need the energy, you need the
sounds, you need the flavors.

You wish that this culture would plant their flag a
little deeper in LA.

Next up on Fresh off the Boat--
MALE SPEAKER: This fucking salsa is so spicy, yo.
EDDIE HUANG: Dude, that chile sauce is en fuego.
I'm not doing that.
My ass would be on fire by like 7:00 PM.
Oh my god.