Lullaby (Live)


Uploaded by StufffilmsComedy on 24.07.2011

Transcript:
Hush little baby
Lay down your head
Warm and snuggly in your bed
Don't be upset
and don't you cry
Mommy and Daddy will....
Always be nearby
Daddy will take good care of you
Daddy will make all your dreams come true
Daddy will let you stay up late
Daddy will love you no matter what
Mommy also does all those things that Daddy said
She keeps you alive and she keeps you fed
Here's the truth
Don't shed one tear
We both know your Daddy's only here
sommmmmmetimes
What the hell what that low blow?
Just your dinner's always cold because you never show
It's not my fault I get home late
When's the last time you took me on a date?
Just the other week we went to Houlihan's
They serve food in baskets
and you got fried clams
The baby wasn't there so it's a date without a doubt
Getting crayons with your placemat doesn't count as a night out
What more do you expect from me?
I need more help from you
around the house
Remember the time
That I did laundry
And I wasn't even asked
And you shrunk
The only pair of pre-baby jeans that
fit my ass anymore
Well I think...
"How do I look in this?"
Is a trick question
I want some more romance
But I'm allergic to shag carpets
I want public affection
I grab your boobies at red lights
I want another baby
How about a puppy?
How about both?
You know we can't afford it
Well lets just move in with my mother
OH NO NO
You turn that thermostat so high
that we're going bankrupt
Yet you still collect those Star Wars figurines, like they're going to pay
for her college (but they won't)
At this point
I could put the radiator through college.
Cut those talons you call toenails
Shave your legs with your own razor
Lose that tie with Homer Simpson
No more catalogues with wicker
BBQ sauce is not a food group
I use it only in self defense
Golf and bowling's not a sport
NO MORE GODDAMN
VAMPIRE SHOWWWWWS!
I had a meaningful conversation with the neighbor and got turned on
I think about your sister
when I jerk off
What rhymes with make-up sex?