Felicia Plays ToeJam and Earl With Brother Ryon

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FELICIA: Monday means Flog time!
Hi, I'm Felicia Day, and this is where I talk a lot, weekly.
Thank you so much for your VidCon question
suggestions last week.
I have a winner, and I'm not going to tell you.
You're going to have to tune in to find out.
Nyah!
But If you're down in Anaheim this weekend and you want to
be on the Flog, find me.
I will be all over that Con like a dirty disease.
Yeaah.
Number one Fave Five this week is porn.
Bookshelf porn.
I buy everything digitally now, so it's almost naughty
seeing all these books in [DEEP BREATH]
artistic stacks.
I mean look at that. (BREAHING HEAVILY)
Those nice even stacks.
(BREATHLESS) It's just--
[PANTING]
Oh.
That's suggestive.
Next up is a viewer submission by Megan, who is actually a
cheerleader in this band.
Mucca Pazza is a rock and roll marching band that made this
really clever video to go with their first
album launch this month.
They're making marching band cool.
When I was in college, I was a string quartet.
Maybe I could make a--
a-- a rock and roll string quartet!
No, that will never be cool.
Third up, I rarely remember to buy people birthday gifts.
I also forget their birthdays.
But this really cool site I found, Shana Logic, provides
gift salvation.
I especially like their jewelry selection, like this
creepy eyeball ring, or this yummy candy jar necklace.
And everything is 100% independent and handmade.
So you can order from home, being lazy, and you can also
be self-righteous about it too.
Win.
Win-win.
Win.
Number four!
Half of that.
I have rediscovered my love for PC gaming after replacing
the desktop that Zabu broke in Guild season number three.
Yeah that one.
Rock Paper Shotgun is a PC blog that covers
titles small and large.
Also they have a great commenting community that
doesn't make you want to wash yourself off after reading,
like other un-specific video game blogs [BLEEP]
[BLEEP]
[BLEEP]
[BLEEP]
And lastly, we have the winners of the Invisilingua
fan contest we did a few weeks back.
I know, two weeks, it feels like forever, right?
Internet.
Congratulations Luke Daab, Martin Peder, Murke, Mark
Gonyea, Goose Dad, and Onegemini.
If you want to check out all the submissions--
almost 100 of them-- you can see them on Geek and Sundry
Pinterest board.
Thank you so much you guys for making me a superhero.
OK!
Our segment this week features my brother and me playing a
game that you guys suggested.
So I hate you.

Hi!
Felicia Day here with my brother Ryan.
And we are reliving the console games that our mom
never let us play when we were kids.
And today is a game that neither of us
ever wanted to play.
It's--
what's it called, Toe--
RYAN: ToeJam & Earl.
FELICIA: ToeJam & Earl.
RYAN: Panic on Funkotron.
And with a title like ToeJam & Earl, how could it be bad?
FELICIA: Can't be bad!
And we're going to play for the first time, so have at it.
So what do you think their relationship is?
RYAN: Well, I don't know which one's ToeJam and which one's
Earl, so maybe we should start with that.
FELICIA: Ooh, cutscene!
Don't skip the back story.
RYAN: OK.
I skipped the back story on Streets of Rage, and that was
a bad idea.
OK, there's a small blue planet--
FELICIA: We interrupt this program--
Ryan: Can I please skip this?
FELICIA: We need to learn the back story of ToeJam & Earl,
or we can't play them properly!
RYAN: So it looks like in a funny reversal of the typical
alien invasion meme, humans have invaded an alien planet.
All right I'm going to skip this.
FELICIA: OK
RYAN: I'm going to skip this.
FELICIA: This is--
RYAN: We can't!
Oh, I did.
OK, good.
Lil' Kid Mode.
FELICIA: Turn it on.
Turn Lil' Kid Mode on!
I want blood graphics, so on.
RYAN: OK, on.
So I think ToeJam is the chicken gizzard looking thing,
and then the scrotum is Earl.
OK so it looks like the scrotum can teleport.
Given that he's a scrotum, I don't want to say what he's
throwing there.
FELICIA: Teamwork!
RYAN: I don't want to know what that is, either.
FELICIA: I'm pushing a nut, a large nut.
RYAN: He's enjoying it, too.
Look at that.
FELICIA: Oh no!
RYAN: Now he's getting double-teamed.
FELICIA: Stop.
Stop.
Dirty.
RYAN: All right, the scrotum is stronger
than the chicken gizzard.
Look at this.
FELICIA: No, listen, here, this is a problem.
ToeJam can't jump.
RYAN: Stop dry-humping that thing and jump over it.
There you go.
FELICIA: This is the worst game I've
ever seen in my life.
Wait wait, wait!
Wait, there's funk, right here.
RYAN: No, that's Panic.
FELICIA: What does that do?
What did I go?
Can you come yell for me?
No, ToeJam is back here!
Come back for ToeJam!
No, you have to come back for me!
Oh no, see?
You gotta--
RYAN: I can just, like, do whatever I want, can't I?
I'm gonna--
yeaah.
FELICIA: Ew!
Did you fart?
RYAN: No, but, I'm doing something.
I'm sticking my butt out at you.
Push up, just up.
FELICIA: I go, what?
RYAN: What up!
FELICIA: Whaat?
What do these other guys do?
Can I kill that guy?
RYAN: We're not-- this-- this doesn't even hurt.
Maybe Lil' Kid Mode is actually on.
Hang on, I'm going to dry hump this guy.
He loves it.
Look at this.
FELICIA: But can I get up?
I need to go up.
RYAN: [LAUGHING]
FELICIA: Stop it!
Let's go.
300 points.
What happened?
Did we just start all over ?
RYAN: I--
I don't know what's going on.
This is really the worst thing I've ever played.
Here we go.
Oh, this is the fun part, though.
I like this.
FELICIA: Squat, and then jump?
Oh!
Look at that!
It accomplished nothing!
Where are you going?
Where?
Where?
RYAN: I don't know.
I'm trying to avoid my untimely death. though.
FELICIA: Whoa!
You almost did it!
Now how can you jump?
Where am I?
RYAN: Are you over here?
Oh.
FELICIA: We're in the water together.
I feel like I'm wasting my life right now.
I just died so it's not Lil' Kid Mode.
RYAN: What?
Oh, we ran out of time.
Now we're back where we started.
FELICIA: No, I'm not!
I'm nowhere to be found!
RYAN: This is the Funky Forest.
I just discovered something pretty cool.
I can do--
I can jump and--
FELICIA: That's your definition of cool?
RYAN: No, no, I'm pretty easy to please.
FELICIA: Can I please play as ToeJam?
RYAN: Please.
Be my guest.
FELICIA: Oh ToeJam!
Or am I Earl?
RYAN: You're Earl.
You're the scrotum.
FELICIA: He's a testicle, not a scrotum.
RYAN: The scrotum is both balls.
FELICIA: Yes, I'm saying-- and Earl--
RYAN: And the containing sac.
FELICIA: And!
And--
RYAN: I'll just add that.
FELICIA: No!
I'm saying that Earl looks like one.
There's not two balls in there.
RYAN: He's clearly a sac.
FELICIA: No.
RYAN: I'm going to warn mothers never to buy this game
for their children.
That's my new life's mission.
FELICIA: So basically we're reloading
because I died a lot?
OK, we're going to not do anything with
the Lil' Kid Mode.
RYAN: So we didn't get the game to--
FELICIA: We are-- we are-- we haven't gotten anything.
RYAN: Is this a fountain?
Hold up on the direction pad to shake trees?
Ohhh!
FELICIA: What are you doing?
How do you do that?
RYAN: I'm shaking my booty and the tree.
FELICIA: Ew!
Ew!
It's not good to look at.
RYAN: Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
Press Start to get Menu Funk Scan.
FELICIA: What?
Funk scan?
Wait, wait wait!
I've gotta scan some funk!
RYAN: That's a tire!
FELICIA: No!
I have to scan funk!
Aw yeah!
RYAN: So, it looks like there's
two funks and a present.
FELICIA: Oh, is this some kind of X-ray mode?
Oh!
I got some garbage!
What did that do?
No, ew--
RYAN: Earthling!
FELICIA: Earthling!
RYAN: Kill it!
Kill the Earthling!
FELICIA: Kill it with fire!
RYAN: Kill the Earthling!
Stop.
[BLEEP]
You're on, scrotum.
What's he doing?
Stop it!
OK, so B--
FELICIA: Aaaaaah!
RYAN: Oh I got 'em!
FELICIA: You got him?
RYAN: I got him.
Yep.
Let's go in the coffin.
FELICIA: Let's do it!
RYAN: You're on an acid trip.
Look at this.
FELICIA: This is awful.
RYAN: His hands are sooo big.
FELICIA: What's going on?
RYAN: I have to revise my initial opinion that
this game was awful.
This game is actually--
FELICIA: Pretty fun.
RYAN: --sublime.
Get down here so I can shake these trees.
And my booty.
Tire, tire.
OK, so I think that takes your health away.
FELICIA: How do the tires get up there?
I can't shake that one.
RYAN: Oh, yep, yep, your health goes down.
FELICIA: Well--
RYAN: Confirmed.
OK, let's go up--
FELICIA: No, no, we need to go down.
Come down with me, testicle!
RYAN: Scrotum.
FELICIA: No!
He's not a scrotum!
RYAN: It is.
FELICIA: No a scrotum is both--
RYAN: Don't.
Don't short-change me.
One funk.
FELICIA: One funk for swimming?
RYAN: Yeah.
OK.
Up we go.
FELICIA: Anyway, so, that's our brief
tour of ToeJam & Earl.
RYAN: What a cool game.
This is the tale of two ToeJams.
Jams.
The one that sucked in Lil' Kid Mode, and then when we had
Adult Mode, that's when all the fun started.
FELICIA: That's when the fun happens.
So, all right.
RYAN: Thanks.
FELICIA: And our Question of Note this week
comes from Lee Prew.
Dear Felicia, You have just been captured by enemy forces.
You are taken to see the emperor in his throne room.
He offers you a chance to live.
Before him there are two urns.
In each urn are there are red and blue jewels.
If you pick a blue jewel you can go free and keep both urns
full of jewels.
However, if you pick a red jewel you will be instantly
put to death.
The urn on the left contains a 50/50 split of red and blue
jewels, whilst the urn on the right has an unknown
percentage of both colors.
Which urn do you choose?

Dear Lee, I pick the right one.
Do I die?
Sincerely, Felicia Day.
OK, Lee, your letter's on its way.
And I will see some of you this weekend at VidCon.
And some of you not.
Make sure to subscribe.
It helps our channel.
Bye!
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