Deep Space 69 - Looking for Love in Alderaan Places (Ep #2)


Uploaded by MondoMedia on 26.08.2012

Transcript:
*beeping* [Jay:] Yup, we got a pink alert.
[Hamilton:] What's a pink alert?
[Jay:] It means, somewhere in the galaxy,
a princess just turned eighteen.
[Hamilton:] And why would you need to know that?
[Jay:] Hamilton, come on.
Sexy reasons.
Prepare for our new mission.
High school prom party bus.
[Hamilton:] Dude, what are you thinking? We're on a mission right now.
We have a ship full of sick grandmas.
[Jay:] Not anymore.
(screaming)
[Jay:] Welcome to the OGC1.
I'm Jay. I'll be your party captain.
Only one rule on my party ship.
You party hard, or you go out the airlock.
*cheering*
[Jay:] How would you like to come see the cockpit?
[Princess:] How old are you?
[Jay:] Old enough to piss off your dad.
Not old enough to be your dad.
[Hamilton:] I can't believe I've finally found you.
Now we can bring our species back from extiction.
*sirens*
[Cop:] You disgust me.
[Hamilton:] Nonono! I thought she was 18!
[Jay:] Ho, daisies! That was fun.
Oh, look at the time.
I got an early mission tomorrow.
So maybe you should, you know.
You know.
*wookie growl*
[Jay:] Okay then.
One more for the road.
*boop*
[Hamilton:] Dude...
You gotta help me!
I'm in jail.
I thought she was eighteen, man. I thought she was eighteen!
*sobs*
[Jay:] Okay, buddy. I'll be there soon.
Just don't cry.
You know you look ugly when you cry.
[Hamilton:] *whispering* I thought she was eighteen.
[Guard:] Princess. To what do I owe this honor?
[Jay:] He shot first. You saw that!
[Princess:] Ugh. You didn't have to shoot him in the face!
I'm the princess!
Of this whole planet!
I have some pull.
Look I don't expect a spoiled little rich girl to understand how we do things
out in space.
[Princess:] Ugh. Give me that.
[Cop:] Leia! What is going on here?
[Princess:] Oh, I... he was...
uuh... oh, f*ck it.
[Jay:] Nice shot!
Good form. I like that.
[Hamilton:] Ah, freedom!
[Princess:] Take me with you.
This planet's full of nerf-herders.
[Jay:] No. You stay. Stay.
You've got a bright future. I can tell. I'll call you.
[Princess:] I love you.
[Jay:] Of course you do.
My penis is a champion.
[Man:] Leia!
[Hamilton:] *sigh*
She was the last hope for my species.
[Jay:] Doesn't matter.
Had sex.