My Internet's Gone Down

Uploaded by somegreybloke on 09.09.2008

You asked me once what was in Room 101
I told you that you knew already
Everyone knows
The thing that is in Room 101
is the worst thing in the world
My internet's gone down
The net's gone down I can't get online
I've no idea what's wrong 'cos last night it was fine
it says a cable is unplugged but that's not true
I've tried another browser don't know what else I can do
I'm offline and I wanna be on it
it's driving me crazy got a bee in my bonnet
my net's gone down
the net's gone down
I'm webless like a wandering spider
or like Peter Parker when he's out of wrist saliva
it's s'posed to be worldwide I feel like an outsider
it tells me "try again" but I've tried and tried and tried
and it's vital that I get to connect
without the internet my day is utterly wrecked
it's of grave importance it has to be said
that if I can't get into Facebook I might as well be dead
Has anybody seen Graham? He hasn't logged on
and he didn't say he wasn't going to
Maybe he died!
What an asshole.
I'm unfriending him. You should too.
Like Terri Schiavo I've been disconnected
My plea for access cruelly rejected
The internet tubes are out of reach
And no matter how much I beg and beseech
The lords of the virtual realm to admit me
I can't find an entrance that seems to fit me
Maybe I should try the Goatse door...
My internet's gone down
like Jenna Jameson
You want me to go down again, baby?
No I really don't it's extremely inconvenient
Let me tell you about my daily routine
I catch up on the blogs while I fill up on caffeine
Then I check the funny links on b3ta and Reddit
and Digg and Fark and Fazed but I don't let it
take up too much of my time, I need to read my mail
then I'm usually reminded of something that I failed
to look up yesterday so I head for Wikipedia
and I wallow in the trivia
so yeah, my day is totally broken
I've checked my network settings and I've even spoken
to the people who installed my broadband router
they asked if I'd tried to restart my computer
which of course I have that's the first thing that you try
My internet's gone down
Like the World Trade Centre
Apparently it wasn't the aeroplanes that destroyed those buildings
It was a mile-high invisible Dick Cheney armed with an atomic golf club
that just looked like a plane
I am NOT looking forward to the apocalypse
After 2012 I imagine these kind of problems are going to become much more frequent