So here we are; the final edition of Tech Head.
I guess you could say it's not so much the end, as a beginning.
But you'd be wrong - because it's the end.
The end of the series.
Over the last twenty-odd episodes of
pioneering short-form Internet content,
I've travelled through space,
explored strange new worlds,
flown over mountains, under ground,
and sat in some pretty awful traffic to get here.
My mission?
To boldly explore, dissect and possibly unravel
the mystery of people-kind's fascination with technology.
And what have we learnt?
Well, for one thing,
I need to get the cushion on this chair re-stuffed.
I may look comfy, but after twenty episodes
this thing is taking its toll.
But apart from that, what else?
I like toasters less than I did when I started,
which is a surprise.
So that's something.
[Toaster pops]
But if I've whined like an overheating CPU,
please don't take me for a techno no-no
or install a cooling system in me.
I still love the stuff. I guess, if anything,
I've come to realise that whilst technology is brilliant,
it might - just might - swallow us whole
like a giant, really hungry "Hungry Hungry Hippo"
- and that's a lot of hungry.
But if technology does kill us all
like what it did in Terminator 2
and countless other less-popular
but equally bleak sci-fi films
- then let's just hope it'll have the courtesy
not to flash up that little spinning beach-ball of death
or force us to hold down the start button
and do a hard-reboot first.
No, we should definitely embrace the future
and all the wonderful things that
people with brains far bigger than mine cook up.
But we should also, maybe, slow down a bit.
Great tech takes - and will stand the test of - time.
Nothing banged out of a mass-production factory line
to quickly cash-in on a fad is going to be any good...
although that USB-powered humping dog thing was inspired.
Sorry, that was basically just a lot of
contradictory nonsense wasn't it?
Err... How to conclude...?
There must be an App for this...
How's about I just say that contradiction
is the theme of the show...?
Yeah, that's it. After all,
I'm just as confused, enthused, frustrated, elated,
fatigued and intrigued by technology
as I was when I started this epic journey.
One day I'm giggling with childish anticipation over
the latest smart-phone software release,
the next I just want to be a goat-herder.
A Nepalese goat-herder in the early-to-mid 1930s
with a belt made out of string
who hasn't even heard of laptops or flat-screens
or USB-powered humping dogs.
A goat-herder who believes in his heart
that that salesman bloke
who just explained how a telephone works
was in fact a travelling wizard.
But for now, I'll carry on flying around the galaxy I guess.
But don't worry - thanks to some rather nifty
technology I've picked up along the way,
the carbon footprint of this pod is very small indeed.
So... until next time.
Pedal to the metal, boys!
