Nick Sparks | Take Action, Drop a Hook | Full Length HD

Uploaded by Under21convention07 on 16.12.2011

welcome back to the freemen convention i hope they're vernon jordan a quick
our next speaker is head of live training at the social man he's been in
the industry for approximately five years and it's his third time speaking
at the twenty one convention
welcome exports
give it up for me
opt out
as a regular guy
pretty amazing convention that i am papers on hear our prayer let brown a
vice president
you these days i think uh... from a good anyway
i had about like fifteen or twenty minutes or so prepared when i was just
gonna talk about myself to be a little in from talk about my past
lets you really get to know me
for a while
then i realize that
you probably really didn't give a shit about that so i decided to cut that
portion or somebody does would anybody like to hear about my history in my past
all right i appreciate that guy is a very sweet thank you
or would you rather i just can't is cut into advice things that might actually
be beneficial or helpful for you
yes show of hands for
for the intro kilograms
thank you right reshoot it for the actual content showdowns
and frank stanton i'd appreciate it
try not to take a few personal errands
i'm not a beard whatever i don't need this conference
okay so what i want
to talk to to you guys about today uh... aside from myself
is approaching
approaching women
that's it
um... mother times have been all over the place today i just want to talk
about this one thing in particular right here
and while i got to do that
this is a good question you might say why wouldn't you want to talk about that
but this is a good question why am i going to spend my time up here talking
about approaching
not necessary you don't need it
it's completely
superfluous to you finding a mates hw dating do you have unhappy successful
when it comes to a two women when it comes everything
don't need approach and walked through
don't need it whatsoever
the vast majority people think about i think about all of the people you know
in your life right now
friends family
how many of these people actually on a regular consistent basis
are stepping outside of their personal bubble friends and just blocking up and
talking to random strangers
not only just talking to random strangers but
egging positive like jovial reaction not only getting these positive positive
julia reaction but with the women
by giving attraction within five to ten to twenty minutes and
getting phone numbers and going further how many people do you know that
actually do that
you can probably come on one hand too if you know a lot of people but that's
really stretching it even then
but point being is that this whole
being this on social huber man this whole like going out talking to anyone
in lighting people opt it's a rarity in our society
in our world
a lot of people most people the vast majority of people
don't possess this disability
very very rarely find some of it is so naturally outgoing mail out of every
where most people
go through their entire lives
every once in awhile have a couple cocktails and talking to a stranger at a
party or friends then
but usually everyday people pursue full circles
um... they they they take a class and they need somebody through there
online dating becoming huge right now you can't date uh... new couple new
girls every single we can never do a single proach
you don't have to learn this
most guys will be happily married and never even worry about approaching
approaching approaching
so why do we
care so much about it
why am i going to spend my entire time up on the stage talking about it
if it's such a big waste of time or obviously it's not
obviously there's something there that's so valuable that we want it
yeah there is only a perfume where people that have that ability i do this
all the time
why can't we be that person right
why the hell cant we be in that one percent of individuals
certainly uh... noble goal to try to live up to white knots
good question
and how many times we've all been in that situation at the grocery store at
the coffee shop at the park walking down the street at the party at the bar
saw that girl
or my god heart skips a beat
she goes walking out of our life forever we wonder what could have been some
variation you've all been there you go on if that
and you didn't say hi you didn't approach he didn't say anything why
pathogens knew what to say if i just had the right thing to say
art i couldn't move my eye config fast enough i throw this
you don't wanna free you wanna know what to say you want to be other when life
throws that person that you've been dreaming about that person that gets you
you'll want to miss those opportunities you want that person to be in your life
if there is uh... chance of that happening whatsoever
you wanna miss that chance
two ways you can go about living life
one dictating what happens what you get
any other just a whatever life hands to me
most people go by
doing the same old same old in their fine but very very few people
step outside that box and say no i want something else
i want something different i wanna take this into my own hands
and that's why you're here
that's why we actually care about approaching
perversity of just taking whatever is handed to us we want to change our cars
we want to turn and get a new hand every once in awhile
and this skill
this is noble social ability that very very few people have gives us an
and yeah i know you guys of all talk two girls you guys involved on approaches
you guys of all i quoted wraps and everything
and i'm sure some of you very well might be able to how many guys be honest
as anyone in this room right now
room when you see that girl it any situation
that just automation melt
you would not even hesitate before walking up to her and saying some pic
anywhere within issues like with a
you know a block radius of your how many guys going out to put their hand up and
say i would never hesitate in that situation
i can't do it
sure as hell can't do it
and so yes even though
you guys have done it before
you're not satisfied
very very few of you are satisfied how do i know this
because i've been coaching guys for five years and if there's one thing i hear
more than anything else
yes i help guys had better conversations with girls yes i help guys get more
sexual an escalator and of course
but there's one thing i hear more than anything else i want more opportunities
and i'm sick and tired of letting those opportunities passed me by
but one thing i hear more than anyone else
it's still the biggest thing
for whatever reason doing this for how many years
people are just not satisfied
that's why i'm talking about this today
what gives me the right to talk about it why should i even be the one two
no tutors to speak you about it
our coaching programs at the social dances in a plug i swear i didn't mean
it to be this way but our coaching from that the social and they're not perfect
were working on improving them every single day
well one thing that we do mail
is there's not a single guy that walks through our program who spends a week
and with us
that is any problem approaching like a machine afterwards
some guys conversation we still need to brush up with some guys you know
flirtation escalation still is a little bit work
but there's one thing i can always get the if you will not walk away from that
having any problem approaching whatsoever
bold guarantee
how can i make something like that
good question
the reason
why guys walked out of our programs without having having any problem in
this area whatsoever
because after one of our programs
the guy is no longer making there too
bigan mistakes
but the vast majority of men and make
who are struggling with this stuff
when it comes to approaching women
the baskets or eat
of people make it if you're still struggling with consistency you're
making at least
one of these two mistakes
not maybe not all the time but are not the time that your consistency is and
where you want to be
and that's what i'm gonna be sharing with you right now
what those two are
let me make it clear after losing me speak
you're not going to get some not
i don't know i'm not doing some
some magic stuff to rewire your brain chemistry is on talking to you're not
going to be able to walk out of here and stand and that you know have your full
feelings about approaching change i wish i could do that i can't
you're gonna be able to understand what i'm talking about from an intellectual
standpoints very simple i promise it won't go over anyone's had and it's
probably study thought of before
it's probably stuff you've heard before it's probably thought you were already
doing when you were ida
and he didn't even think about it and you were having a great time in talking
to everyone
so this won't be any any big secret
and it probably won't be anything that ninety nine percent you haven't done but
the problem is in some situations you revert back to make these mistakes
and winning counts most in front of the people you care most about incredible
women your most attracted to
you fall consistency stocks
and that's why you actually care about what i'm going to be saying that
what are these statistics
nombre what and
before i start
the important thing about these two mistakes is that they argue reversal
there's not a human being who is not
uh... felt
one of these symptoms one of the is things i'm about to talk about
if any each one of us in the time work shoulder and it's completely intertwined
without human
d_n_a_ with our human uh... uh...
who we are
what we want what it means to be ours
there's no running away from it
there's no escaping it's all we can possibly do is try dot
to live with it and control ourselves in control like what our actions as best we
can despite of it
and see what i mean in just a second
the number one the state
that just about everybody makes completely natural wording it from the
time where children
is that
for whatever strange reason we always just want to believe
that the world revolves around us
when you're a trial
you believe that your the center of everything and everything revolves
around you in fact of the child learn how to relate with the world in terms of
how it affects you this is a integral part of a child development
i learned
what this water isn't based on it what it does to me like i don't care what it
is outside of me but i care about how it feels to me
outpace in my mouth
uh... how it feels when i jump in the swimming pool
water could even exist outside of that to me when i'm a child
and in our adult lives
week usually grow out of these tendencies
usually move past that in most parts of our life
in those times that we actually care
in those times that we get nervous in the times that we put value on a
situation we have a tendency of reverting back
for some lasting glamorous tendencies and one of those tendencies being
to interpret things exterior things especially things that we value
simply in terms of how they relate to toss interpreting everything through
that lands what do i mean
if you're speaking to up a woman who you do not
find that attractive
value hersheys
but let's just say in your own worldview she is unattractive
and you go to talk to this person
and she's cold
he's distance
what do you save yourself you say well
she's not a very nice person
mate michelin so ugly chicago would be so me and all the time
some variation right
uh... why she such a bitch
let's take that girl we transform hurt the most beautiful woman you ever seen
here like for the most beautiful woman you ever seen that night
standing there
hairs perfect make-ups perfect
outfits actually
whatever your dream girl happens to look like
and you go to talk to her she's unresponsive
she's called
he's distance
what's the first masses are goes through your head now
she didn't like me
i didn't say the right thing
my line wasn't good enough
i wasn't funny enough what could i have said in order to get a better reaction
out or what should i have said right there what am i doing wrong why can't i
figure this out why am i struggling
the second that value comes into play
everything we know about things just operating at a rational level goes out
the window and we become
that child again
it all becomes about us
how does that
relate to me what does that say about me
what does that say about who i am i value
we just give it away and that moments
what makes her so special
ask yourself that question
here's the key
something that i teach i call it the uh... the sixty forty principle
really really really simple
fun kinda helped you remember not to get caught in this rap
and what the sixty forty principal says
is that anytime ever gets
any sort of reaction out of another human being any point in your life
sixty percent of it
has nothing whatsoever to do with you the vast majority of it
has to do with her
where she's at
what her upbringing was like how outgoing she is house social she is
how how gracias able to come up to with the we come back
when the some stranger approaches her
assump gorgeous girl came up and said hey how's it going are gonna be there
with like some funny comeback reading a starter and maybe get a little nervous
why is she any difference
may be a huge just having a bad week maybe eight
for boston being addicted initiates got broken up with maybe
should have the best relationship with her father maybe the address is wearing
makes her feel fat
maybe she is not relating maybe she is menstruating that's prolly gonna be the
biggest determinant whether you get a positive or negative response
sixty percent the best majority that has nothing to do with the whatsoever
de forty percent they're still stop under control there still study could do
to influence that situation
but why is it
when you get that negative response from a woman
that you actually care about that you actually value
is your first impression
what i do wrong
what's wrong with me
instead of what's wrong with her
to make any sense what so ever
because that is one thing to understand intellectually
actually understand it right here
requires action in situations
in which you normally wouldn't want to take action
what is on me and what is a small sixty forty thing mean in terms of approaching
when and you know what in terms of approaching i say sixty four t
for all parts of an interaction
for approaching i think it's way less than that i would support that
eighty twenty nineteen ten
what i'm saying is that when you approach a woman
yes there are some things that under control
however the vast majority of her response
has nothing to do with you whatsoever
and you noticed that when you're talking to a girl you don't care about you been
there before
she doesn't respond
uh... as you like it to your leg at whatever i'm having a great time
but yet you all know that there's been times when a woman that you actually
not been social has shown that she lacks um... social intelligence
or social abilities
so that she is not a very friendly mood shows that she is not outgoing show that
she can hold a conversation
and you feel dejected
you feel like you did something wrong you feel like she is rejecting you
she can't reject you
especially as she gets to know you after a while and you just screw things up
eleven right then she can reject you
in those first five to ten seconds all she can do is tell you a little bit
about herself
the first biggest mistake
that guys make
they take it personally it's about me
when it has nothing to do with you whatsoever
always about you right
when i when we do ronko is me i said the wrong thing she doesn't like me
and it works well in opposite right you respond positively can wait the pump
yourself up man she loved me
i look so good i said the right thing like i was so instability
how could she not one year you joking
i hate to tell you sixty forty kind works there to know
she was probably ideally or any action like you but don't give yourself so much
credit is more to do with the fact that she was in the mood
and you just have to be a man who she was attracted to
but she has a say in this to it's not all you that deserves all the credit
here made she ran a little game on you as well
first business day
second biggest mistake
the vast majority of us make a specially when times are hard especially when we
get put in situations
that test our patients that test are nervous
incredibly human also incredibly boring us from
geez from the time we did
crawl central
this mistake is is that
home and this is this is this is common amongst all kinds of anxiety
figure out a time you've ever been nervous that i think ur in general when
human beings that anxious or nervous about things in their life
this is one of the first response is a human beings have to it
is that when they find something
uh... that they don't like that doesn't make them feel good
that they can explain vats
just are affected
they just don't enjoy it
something they don't understand something that makes them feel anxious
something they fear
when the first
most common human reactions is they want
few controlled that thing
they feel but if they can exert more control over that situation
than that will lead the eight their fear
if they can somehow just army if it wasn't so i'm out in the air it wasn't
so random it wouldn't some scary if it wasn't so unknown
then that would alleviate their fear than they would be able to control the
situation that they would be all the pro told him that they want
you told yourself this if i just know that line
if i just know what to say so that i could minimize rejection
then i could approach that if i could just when all rejection down to maybe
nine eight ten percent
then i would have no problem no fear approaching any woman anytime anywhere
here's the big difference
between when you poured yourself that
between a guy who
doesn't have any fear approaching the rare one person who doesn't have any
fear approaching whatsoever
tell your like well if i could minimize rejection
i could go approached whenever
the natural says
projections as part of the game
i know i'm going to get rejected i'm gonna get rejected a locked it's a
numbers game
they don't try to control twelve maybe if i can just try to get the pod no
sixteen forty principle they know without even thinking about it they know
sometimes are getting a good reactions sometimes girls are going to be in good
sometimes girls are going to have a good day sometimes girls are the opulent
and sometimes girls
are going to be in not so good of the mood
sometimes girls are going to be
and having a bad day
sometimes girls are gonna be menstruating
they're not sitting there trying to wreck your brain over how they can
increase the roswell they know that the vast majority to has nothing to do with
them whatsoever
so instead of wasting their time trying to uh... to figure out some perfect
thing to say
they're just throwing out as many opportunities they possibly can
and you look at this entire industry i dot is inflation should be so much of
this industry
is predicated on that promise
like i don't try to control everything this industries predicate on the promise
i'm gonna give you what to say
sign up for this take that and i'll give you that line so that you never get
it's been playing off men's in securities has been telling us is more
complicated and it actually is
is if you really have to bring her over with some complex thing nao
she knows in the first five to ten seconds whether she wants a sleep with
you were not
coming this elaborate thing that you can hope to concoct in order to win rover
it's not going to change that it is no way for both your time maybe she's
maybe she's not but the girl that like you and we review at the end of that
with the same girls are going to like you and were empty before that
despite that
the guys who are good with women
well i'd like to change the verbage if you've got to change the verbage all
this to the whole
that that a lot of people have in this community of approaching
it's built in these mistakes are built into it
this whole idea of going up to a girl or group of girls with something that they
are that they have to say that they're hoping will get a specific reaction
controlling the situation
thinking that it's more than sixty forty they actually have more power in that
than they actually do
then i think it would say they walked up they deliver it and then they stand
there waiting to either be accepted or rejected
four idea of approaching is just one alone
with with the error and it's no wonder why
something's been broken for so long we keep trying to get better and better but
there's still a big gaping hole in we can figure out why
i don't like to think of it is i stopped using the term approaching just because
of how we generally think of that we think of approaching
because it myself
or guys were good with role they don't think of it is like okay
software shoe
k guys i gotta get back to my friends i don't think of it is it's like big thing
they do
sometimes we're gonna be around growth they're going to try to finish in
themselves around girls
and they usually is just something they shout over their shoulder
that usually headed by the way this in that
they're not try to put in after trying to get a good reaction
there just simply getting their attention because they know
more than anyone else thats
sometimes you're gonna get a positive reactions sometimes you're gonna get a
negative reaction
memory i said that there are things that play into what you do
are you smiling are you looking him in the eyes
can they hear you
on the approach
that's essentially it
the rest of it
it's up to them
really try
i start using the terms
uh... i approach and i started using the term dropping a book
dropping of a because we're win-win fishermen are fishing right and they
stay clear lines in the water
and the fish are biting that day they don't say a lot of shitty fishermen
as they sometimes the fish just are biting that's just the way fish are
maybe i'll try a little different dates maybe i'll go check out a different
fishing halt
sometimes the fish bite
sometimes they don't and i'm not going up with this whole thing try to do it
unjust drop in the book
i can go to the bar troubled look over my shoulder
i can bump into some girl behind me look at our sixty is me
allied to stop the book
sometimes she's going to be likely i don't worry about it sometimes is gonna
be like no problem
on this at all
that's a cool
might have been paying your where she's going to be like either she's gonna be
like banks
michigan but
right you've all seen either one of these reactions before you know what
what happens
but you
natural human tendency to over complicate
buildup these big structures of what's going to happen when it's so freaking
the only thing that makes this travelgate all of this stuff
the only thing that makes it complicated as this thing right here it's so bought
freaking stempel
the only thing that makes a cut complicated your doubt
your insecurity
that wants to make it more complicated to make you feel like you can do it
breaking simple a promised myself i wouldn't swear i made that promise in
years past
but freaking to sounds weird
drop books
hooks sometimes they're gonna vo sometimes are not you lose nothing
whatsoever what have you lost right there
are not taking it personally
and yet because you're not like wasting all of your time ten minutes trying to
weirded out by finally they got to get a reaction which would never when it came
we could wrap anymore
and you're not thinking about it and so dense crept into thinking at the revenue
what what what are my thoughts how the dollar and when he grows up to
alike that lucky dube right that was cute do that again
sometimes is gonna be like the sometimes you've been doing this for
what about those lost their and i've been
all you a can ever do is get information
that's it
stop approaching girls and just are dropping hooks everywhere you go
the more you dropped
the more girls are going to talk to it doesn't have to be fair to gather what
would not be a lot like they were not in the world is
really really simple
see that i'm communicating with you did you see that for them
uh... who did not see that
did you notice that i was doing something for a few do i get your
attention did you see
some girls either going to be like
or some girls going to be like
a destructive look right there always is finding out
what's his girls deal that's all i want to do are just wanna now and the only
way you can tell
is not to say something i got used to teach differently and say well look at
him and see if there really friendly
window approach them if they look really like pissed off
don't approach them
i mean in general i'm still been operate under that but if i'm coaching
there he never notified a girl that look most friendly and they've just been cold
and icy night liberal to look like they wanna play somebody
actually really sweet never just kinda shy and nervous before you never know
unless you checked so why not
why wouldn't you
traffic spokesman
and literally every single day i live in new york sidewalk traffic shipment of
people all the time
every single day i literally will consciously try to make eye contact with
each and every single person i pass
all it is his practice
and sometimes girls are gonna smile back
sometime though you know my favorite responses when i'm like divvying old is
boring to people so that they don't see me i will just staring till i get
that's another thing scary people's heads up at the back if they don't see
never counted you weren't staring what are you talking about
wait until their eyes meet
as soon as i believe you're gonna know whether there in theory dot
either they're going to smile back
either they're gonna be like
or my favorite responses for though that they might
their response which
most guys don't think it was a positive response
but when i look at a girl boldly
and she looks the way i really fast which he looks down hello so much to ido
just like when a
maybe in times past obviously not nowadays
but i know what a girls made me nervous when she's looked at me i thought that
that same reaction
so when a girl does that i just get the smile on my face tonight but i just did
tour inside her body
itis no right
here's how you know you're doing it right
and i say the same thing about escalation you know how you're doing it
you know you're doing it just enough
because it feels really weird on the inside you feel arc or do you feel funny
if you're not stepping outside of that compras dot if you're not making your
own self felix
well with the amount of eye contact you're making your not making enough
if you're not feeling really really awkward
about how health
far you're pushing the interaction
you're not doing enough i promise you could if you work you have a lot
different results that you've already been having
and if you just keep doing what you've always done
gonna keep getting much of always gone so you have to take different actions
so really what it comes down to it's who've simply we can break this down
gonna talk about conversations last talked about offering to talk about
not talking too much
it's never about the secret cities in the thing about conversation that's so
funny is based on the same principle
guys always say well and i think it out of the same way with the west said
but what what what's the thing that and that you would say together like me the
alternate fallacy
the ultimate lying of this industry the ultimate live yourself down here in
you're not good enough if you are
she would not like you just for being the person who you are standing in front
of her
you have to say something to get her to lie to you
she's up here
you're down here
anne there she's gotta come down a couple packed or you've got to say
something that's going to bring you up
the alternet
the industry
and they didn't come up with that you've been telling yourself that long before
they ever came up and made money off of that and security
in the meantime she sat there wonder
why the hell is this guy talking so much
i liked him i was actually in film
why is he trying to act like he needs to win me over
actually no i don't like him anymore
what the hell is he trying to make up for
guys always think that i have to be the funny when i have to have to get her
like me i have to say the thing that's gonna maker
uh... fall from a now
one of our female assistance actually said it best when dexknows talking about
summer thing and she said
far more sexy far more effective far more important
to be intrested
than it is to be interesting
guys always think that ordered yet a growing like them they have to be the
forty-one they have to be the charming one
they have to be the star
vast majority of women out there
they want to be a funny one they want to field as though they are the charming
when they want a guide to make them feel like they are the sexy one
do your job to provide the framework for the conversation if u our job to lead
the conversation
it's your job
the opportunity
so filled the conversation
with the beauty with the things that women are great at filling our lives
with with other funny stories in the giggling and uh...
laughter that you're just sitting back
poking fun at really
tell me more about that pretty serious
fucking hold hearings
the same thing
with the girl you don't care about your life and that's really cool and she is
won't shut up
it's a girl you like all the sudden you won't shut up his you're trying to
impress her so much much change the girl are you
why has the reaction change from the girl
we over complicating our heads we've got something to prove not to them
but we don't feel like we have enough ourselves
we don't feel like we're good enough so we feel like we have to do something
all you got to do is put yourself out there that's officially you put yourself
in a woman's path and give her the chance to impress you
i'm not trying to
thirtieth to reach any hope point with girls
i'm giving girls the opportunity to hook me
sometimes they well
sometimes they walk the sooner i stopped taking those both personally and start
laughing at him
sooner i'm gonna start having a lot more
in ms ang lee enjoyable experiences with the girl that do respond positively
they shipped out of them out there
that's four billion women and i know when you lock yourself in your house for
a monster if you just got out of a break-up anders delight brennan jerry's
you're playing video games and you're on the computer all night hears that her
pop it out your like putting on a couple extra pounds and not sleeping
and you just like the like the biggest p_c_ should the world i know you're
sitting there like
ma'am what girls who want me
uh... yeah i do need some tracks absolutely i am at a low point
but then we get out there and maybe start working out a little bit we maybe
start taking care of ourselves get good night's sleep is something productive in
our professional give them a good streak
we've all been there how many people that i had a haha tried where they've
they've been in a really good place in people ipanema tracted charming
invaluable show of hands please
of bright
and how many people have run where they'd been cole
where nothing's going right
where ships just in the gutter right
uh... yeah absolutely
absolute fucking lube leon away my hand all day at that
what's the difference the outside world
we all have it inside of us
right sometimes we we get into rats
and you know what the the biggest thing we need and that's when the wrath of
from the most desperate
does call me does one coaching when they're at that
that pitfall bottom of their of their you know they're they're rots
guys are never calling me when they're sitting me and uh... they're happy life
full circle zicom interrupt because that's when it's like i can't take this
shit anymore
you know what the first thing i usually get those guys and at the end of the
when they're just so frustrated
maybe a usually is at those those really harsh moments maybe after divorce maybe
some traumatic
point in one's life
that's when i uh... that's when the good guys really are just like
what the fuck
at the end of the rope frustrated first bit of advice i give them
patients and know it feels like it's never going to get better right now and
i know today feels like forever but you know
you've been here before
you're going to get out of it and yes there are certain actions you can take
to increase that speech
yes there are certain things you can do
because the children learning curve
i'm lucky when i'm in those spots i have trends i can immediately make myself to
that i didn't have the option to do my first break up for my first article i
much younger
i now have strategies and i can take that uh... to get myself out of that
place a little bit faster
we've all been there
and we all ideas we have been eddie opposite we'll all be iliad
prop books
we all just shut up and let girls talk talk talk talk we've all escalated just
fine the only problem the sometimes
even though we know how to do it intellectually and even though we've
done it in the past
we forget right here
and so yeah it sometimes takes a little
memory jogger and sometimes it's like all of these snowfall in old patterns of
the old things danny they had a week's time but that's what happened
it's confidence is actually guess what
it's never going to be over
you're gonna have to go back and forth with that shit
with uh... with uh... that other side of it i just want to drag you down do they
go back and forth with that for the rest your life it's not going anywhere
and there's gonna be days when he gets the best to you
there's gonna be days when you just are so frustrated with yourself and what you
were able to accomplish that you just wanted to give up and wonder why you
started on this in the first place
robert mann
is easy
is it impossible
his is the greatest power those rocks in the negative you have
just add that
persuasiveness to actually make us feel that it really is so bleak that's really
the only powers making you feel that it is hopeless at their isn't of them are
that it's not going to get better
fell about reminding yourself of that simple ship that gets clouded that gets
thrown off
and the more you hear it
than the more you not only here but the more you go out and experience in a few
more hooks you drop in c
exactly what i'm talking about in your experience that back to you hearing me
talk about dropping but somehow girls react
that sounds cute you like it but after you go out you practice it hard core for
a weekend weren't pushing into every single one of them like this is change
it's all about
giving yourself the experience in your life
the constantly fight against the constantly build yourself up
to constantly
did better there's never perfection you're never gonna win all you can do is
take that next step for improve yourself that much more of what i can promise you
is that it always does get better
as long as you're you're always moving forward
you're better today than you were a year ago today worship
anybody disagree with that unless you were just a harsh break-up or harsh
dramatic experience
is anyone
worse off now than they were a year ago
i mean it's right there
stopped making it so complicated start doing what you know how to do
okay to remind yourself every once in awhile its
kaha hai start time clearly
so i want to open up the questions i'm love questions asked me anything you
could possibly estimate
and i'll be excited ask answer
anne cortes
you're dropping lets you uh...
uh... i'm trying to figure out how you and updating the girls that you want by
you figured because the one u dot that's the man then
you know because the respond to your you forget which is like fifty yet really
good question really good question
i dropped by trying to drop as many votes as i possibly can
all these are the bus stop
uh... you know
due to the gas station
anyway i'd like i A
admitted that andre i'm gonna try don't like
of that sort of in lovely book you're reading them whatever happens to be wide
because of the principle behind this is that
approaching is especially bad thing for us because we've got two things coming
together we've got a perfect storm of anxiety hitting us
not only do we have the she's a pretty girl and she makes me wet myself when i
see her anxiety
that pops up right
we also have another anxiety
going on and that means i d is just a general fear of talking to strangers
that we have that we've been raised with
most parts of this world even raised to know that strangers are the devil now
you should avoid at all costs
or they will poison you with candy
with razor blades and apples like this we all know that's right have anyone not
been taught this from the time they will
sober approach and we've got those two different points of anxiety dot yes
girls are gorgeous and they made my heart beat faster and they made blood
rush other parts of the body i know that
but then we've also got this other thing i drop looks everywhere
because i want to
this is still going to happen an end
the more positive reactions you get from girls left this is
anxiety and fear in the more this is just anger and slight minta
get more physical get to know them better like this is the power that
drives you for that they did you notice map on your punches when he complimented
and liquor in the art who's actually believe you when you look in the eye and
tell you she sexy joshi knows you're not just for shit
the best thing
i try to minimize this as much as possible in my life
because i know that approaching this girl dealing with this is going to be a
hold a lot easier if i don't also have to deal with this
fear of strangers that we all have as well
so i'm looking to enter the flight like out sometimes i'm attracted people that
i talk to sometimes are not
ones are not we might be friendly we might not the ones i am
so we can hang out sometime
she's like yeah she already agreed to give me your phone number
sony agree to hang out with me that there might conclude that we have to
change them
uh... no question
if you were talking a second ago about that idea is that you know you should
believe that a woman is appearing in your down here
uh... i guess what we're at work
where one in those do you do you believe in the ideas and help of qualification
the qualifier self-rule woman
and so uh... that's i would not
we've got the social and we certainly keeps the idea of qualification
on the big reason why is that everyone's different and
just because a woman may not be my perfect like main just because mia woman
might not be perfectly suited and attracted to each other
uh... doesn't mean that she's not an equally
were the human being is me
so i thought the screen for some of that's going to be ideal life mate
but that doesn't mean there's any value discrepancy between us i still respect
ur add thing she's amazing
they do not perfect for me maybe she screwed up and got a lot of her own
issues to deal with so i don't want to be around her as much right now
i'm no better no worse than our
you mentioned earlier that you have schools
to kinda get you back into your game when you're feeling not so confident now
so my question is uh... water a couple of this tool
spin at also when you are on your game
what tools are what you do to maintain them and momentum or continue to step it
up in that states
or depression
uh... artery gave a couple of my tools just forgiving myself back on like
everywhere i go every single day i'm consciously trying to make as much by
contact with possible
is nor most powerful tool for socializing and anything in regard to
it's the and all beyond
the alpha and omega
for not making eye contact nothing's ever going to happen if you are having
strong icons that that lingers a little cup lecture seconds it makes you feel
funny in your stomach
that's all you need
you need anything else after that that's all the sexual escalation that needs to
happen right there
that moment can always get closer later
icontact so
and it's not just people say hi contact like you're just like
you don't look at that they'd look at their eyes like it's a blank object like
there's one way to do it
when in fact like actually looking at someone in the eyes
there's different ways you can do it ided look you in the eyes but i also
have my periphery open
or i can focus on your eyes so that everything just kinda blends into uh...
liked into a background blur and i can see you even more crystal clearly
can you feel the difference between when i'm doing this
person when i'm doing this
she can feel that one feels like we're friendly and we're talking
one feels like
feel funny with this guy talking about right
if you do not
if you're just not spellbound by the amazing sexual power that you can wield
with your eyes then you need to start working on your eye contact more then
you're not doing enough
i can promise you that and if you're not making up icontact why wouldn't even
bother working on anything else
it's like i want to work on my my high jumping abilities but i can't walk
it's ridiculous
why are you reading by the big things that actually make the biggest
difference go but you're worried about what to say if she says one particular
thing in the universe
so that's the one big thing i'm consciously working on my i contact
and i i will continue to do so and so i can look at cross or make eye contact
with girl
and were her towards me without saying a word
than stop working toward him out
bombs the second thing dropping hooks everywhere
getting over that that china's pushing myself if i see that grow i still like a
little their business in a little excitement yeah
going to help a lot easier to jump in i think about it by the talk and everybody
else all day
help a lot easier
other than that it depends i mean this is where coaching comes and this is
where my own personal self-evaluation comes in after that
um... i have a tendency of when i get nervous believe it or not
i have a tendency of talking too much
crazy i know is it sounds
and so it when i would be off my game like after break up i'd be talking too
much why i thought that i have to say something to win this program presser
so what's the coaching that i give myself and what do i have to force
myself to do now the opposite
and one thing i usually give guys i say if they want to change something about
himself they want to prove something whatever it is
like if a guy's holding himself at least two contras that was my problem
i have to force into to start getting more dresses they're getting closer to
her start being more forward
whatever that is
whatever you want to correct whatever you need such a shift
i know you say go as far over the line as possible go to the exact opposite
extreme because usually here try to correct the problem there's some anxiety
attacks because of the situation you're in you can go as far over that line is
you think you are
and you're not even close to the line
i was they'd go this far over to your getting slapped with your positive that
ok idea to start pulling aback then value ourself back a couple clips
if you're just inching forward you're never going to find out where
that the actual windows where you should be hearing
it is going to be
fired in the darkness so
firms in the shutting up
i had to go to the other extreme attitude like
the way left talking than i normally would do and and action interaction and
things are just going
and then when i'm when i'm good
when i'm good i'm already having enough experience is the key but my my practice
so i don't really need uh... the workout focus on
and of women in my life that these things are happening i don't happen
the question
you experience
was the most critical factor
and the guys psychology demo over
the belief that distinctions between ivanko so
he's done some
mason stuff
i there something that i teach uh... but this is in my concept
veishea perform are using acronym called har
and what our stands for is thoughts
simply thing in some situations you have thought that both in your head
if you had really bad experiences with girls when you were younger and you get
put the situation with a girl you value those thoughts probably are going to be
too positive
their normally you could be thinking normally but all the said in that
situation start picking crazy star gone haywire brain takes over
your actions that our reflection of those thoughts and if your thoughts
sucked his actions probably had to be too good either they're probably gonna
be a dry context of the jumping all over even though you know to make eye contact
really talking too much even though you know you want to accept or a
uh... and then reactions biar
what's what feedback to you get from the outside world what what what are the
girls saying back to you
so you have these thoughts and what usually happens is that this house up
appellee properties for
i suck with girls
actions look like a guy who suffered curls her reaction say man you suck with
girls why because of the action that you're giving up right there
and what does that reaction to it goes back in informs us nazi told you
you are right
you get more experiences i just reinforces negative thoughts so there's
a couple ways you can deal with this answer your question
one thing obviously is the whole inner game side thoughts if i can just maybe
if i do not self affirmations
or or maybe if i just you know if i if i have a home hang out with the right
people to tell me the right things over and over again
uh... accurate enough
it'll change of believes do i believe in that absolutely
to a certain extent
over a long period of time
what we essentially doing our coaching programs as yet what hammering home
different beliefs the entire truck
try to affect that c
but what we're really doing is we're getting the chains that anne
we're getting him even though he wants like lock up into a shell of looking
down and talking and mumbling and and getting into his cajun not like you know
physically n inciting emotion out of the woman
we get him to even though it's hard even though he's nervous to once again ovary
phone lines and whichever way wanna push on
changers actions and sometimes it's hard as hell
sometimes it's as simple as faction
it's like jumping up and down
but when you're trying to do it on the edge of a building in your afraid of
heights two possible the simplest action in those moments can be the hardest
but we don't get into the uh... to push to do those actions eventually
he starts getting different reactions from the outside world
and i think that's where really happens
you star reprogramming those memories you start replacing them
with those different positive memories
and in conjunction with the actions you're taking
which injunction with uh... the uh... the uh... the bully forked over do it
then those new
memories come back in may to go back and reaffirm the such you know what
maybe it's not me the girls don't like maybe eight i was just happen to be that
grow on that one situation actually with the voters lots i find out that quite a
few number of other girls actually do respond positively to me
isn't that crazy
our action start getting wheather feeling boulder dropping hopes more and
escalating sooner
keeping your mouth quiet letting that awkward silence fell while you smile and
she's like also word
and then you really smiled you know what has happened there
that's my favorite moments in a conversation as when offered sciences
filled by her sweet voice
that's my notes on
answer question
i'll perfect
priceless team is dropping hutus downtown
however taking action slash government so how exactly would you define dropping
a hawk
uh... a quote is anything you do to get a girl's attention
so once again if i look her in the eyes of that focused look
i give her a little
smile from being friendly
or little flight cokie upturn in mind that defending sexual in a bar alcohol
fueled environment
that's a book
if a girl walking by i could thrust my crotch in peripheral excuse me how much
you know i'm sorry it's really tight in here excuse me that i just it she's
already look at me and have to acknowledge me that's about
dissect k though some bash use right there that i just get her attention
force her to acknowledge me
and she'll either acknowledge me positively
or showed knowledge may negatively and each time has more to do with her and
her life in anything i could possibly do or say in that moment
so his son soho to something that she
house to respond to some degree out sir tensions something that gets our
attention so i can buy a few dozen acknowledge your presence whatsoever you
did not drop of a kal
we arthur can approach interchangeable terms i don't like this that you you
could use that absolutely budget that i don't like approach because of
this whole
going up in trying to make something happen which is counterproductive to
guys actually getting over the spear my opinion
thank you
i'd in and getting icontact i'm lawmaking by contacting dot
it's not always
reciprocated go ahead and she may be
enemy but like
how how do you go about
excellence in recite on in the midst of a conversation
but we're talking to this person and maybe i contact that consistent
maybe she's got some issues with her sexuality
uh... maybe you were
you know screwing up on your and your tightening up your produce something
recover whatever reason
uh... cry contact us out there right
pride but
uh... the questions you wanna come up on stage a real fast will show you
but u_n_
but that's back to toronto fosamax
not three the bike
perhaps that's like i'll bring the bike
very very simple
friend actor william which they are going
uh... first two years ago on stage don't read into that
twenty-one convention here
really simple icontact rel
i'm my michael i was on a locker and by overhauled and for all the net focus
days unpopular
you know what i'm talking about you feel that right
there's no this is different in the way most people normally look at you right
right right
makes you feel different on the inside of that
i want her to feel that as much as possible so i want a locker in that i
contact as much possible for general rule
general rule if you look at me
i'm locked in
one hundred and ten percent of the time
so if practice at what they meant
addendum lateral always mirror so when she looks often some direction
optimism i'm looking off in some direction
now the important thing is
as i can still see her in my periphery
so she looks off
and i'm looking up personal sewer face is doing right there so she looks back
at me
i'm black and i i i just want that i contact them take it any second i get so
she looks back at me bandits on again now we have met
by well until we have here looks on
and it is kind of funny when you mention that
i don't know where you would get that from the end
raise their head does now
one change i have to this little sometimes eilat off
just for emphasis just out of the election spiced
i don't know what came over me but that's when i realized
has had to
because i when i come back it's like if if if you even more strong because of
had that moment that the disassociated
on so that's the only time amid a break my my eye contact all cost for all
but otherwise yeah unless she is
but it's like you're not making enough i promise and less like this is all you
forty after breakfast
was a over mail
what what kind of
over mail
uh... with
without considering
and see with ray's with fraser
cranberries huh
how do you like them
wrote reagan would have bear is were in there
blueberries blueberry
you like blueberries earlier
would you like about blueberries
but it doesn't matter what i'm saying
sexuality is right here in yes a lower my voice and also at our house and
senate filibuster like this
well why don't you say that in the first and they all start lowering my boys
but man it's all in the eyes uh...
did in class where i thought it coming out
don't add up
but the fact that they were
alive if we could fit into my back
time how we doing timewise who'll
drachmir seducing
home do you find that i contactus confrontational sometimes
by people mister jerry ashes
account like michael trying though to make eye contact with any person anytime
excellent point and i think that if i feel my safety is threatened in any way
shape report looks at the man's bigger than me looks angry i'm generally not
going before in my eyes to the backers edn
um... very good exception the rule yes thank you for that point of
the week later you guys are like limping in crushes on
youthfulness tonight
uh... weekend with it
both of these and all these questions are coming at the last moment
it's who was from within the first
yeah um... what's your favorite system for any sexual
with a greater here
mambo uh... my other favorites and would probably be
uh... for
yet my amend this is just me to think about the thing we teach about specific
line is this is it's pacific techniques for anything like that is all of the
there's gonna be some shit that i'd say that works great for you there's gonna
be some stuff i say that works terribly four u at every single guy to have his
own personality
now work for different cell take what you likely the rats but one of my
favorite ways to increase sexuality and interaction and uh... dies or better
with women don't do this
about sexual innuendo
it's one of my favorite things god-like anytime i can say something and she's
not sure if i mean it's actually or not
even better if he does take a sexually and then i can accuse her of getting all
sexual and try to have a serious conversation
uh... that's prime my favorites ordered compliments ma'am
comments that such a bad rap
if you say unlike before a girl starts opening up the epidural sitting there
looking angry and pissed off of the world like she wants upon somebody
you'd like to really cute
she's not going to respond well girls don't respond well to compliment swing
she knows you're full of shit
really simple but which is lighting up in she's showing opera personality inner
sense of humor he looking you any idea he's got that we go on them
he's fingered adorable
she's got a light up and she's got uh... look like a christmas tree
three-act compliments
another one of my favorite waistcoat escalate the situation outside of what i
just did
sourcing a anne
love you
a little bit you the reason that i'm here
just did not want to know you intelligence may disagree
and saying
knew the reason i'm here
and i'm glad they made a really good political sixty forty conspired against
value themselves elderly setting it up and we think we have more power than
they really do and it's not just and community if ever
uh... instead
but think it would enhance one's anything pleasure thank you
yeah i just dumb
have i guess is my question dictates l
looking at your opinion back to what
can you know that's fine
so as to get back to what rodney kramer said beginning
where he was talking about these sort of different categories of people
and if i were placed ul please see
upper left
as sort of outgoing and extroverted connie guy you know you definitely have
the energy uh... and i would definitely say i'm somebody who is is probably more
the bottom right very analytical
kind of uh... introverted person yeah
how would you suggest that i take what
you know you are suggesting and apply it to somebody like me would naturally be
more serious and
you know maybe like
uh... i can get to intensive people can like grossed condemned creepy or
something that is the healing energy isn't quite is
as sort of bouncing all over the place is yours trudeau
you're mormon introvert if what you're saying
let me ask you a question
is that a disposition
or present
be that for the rest your life
uh... here's here's what i'm here's the point
on my business partner christian hudson he might've heard of him
he was one of the people that founded charisma arts
uh... he then went on to found are
youthful companies and doing this for a while he's an introverted big-time
but he decided that he wants actually have social interactions with people
so he'll drop books from time to time and hill
and help acts in in ways that i really did have different results
to talk to women
because i've got a lot better at that i'm just saying that that my
i think that
mindset energy is different from yours
and so i'm just
wondering is your suggestion just a like try to take everybody who is got a more
serious energy in a drawer
victory to extroverted or is it
how would you suggest that i drop books and you do what you're doing in a way
that's like not you know it knocking a creeper grow out of five like a little
more serious about
or something or just
or just
you know maybe less bouncy or something like that
well that make sense if moving next time reminds me of my speech from last year
one thing i can say
just from this question
uh... is at your face tends to be just a little bit
uh... it's not that it's not the most expressed as expressive as my face
and i'm and one very common thing i touched on this last year's that
whenever you get nervous i talked about whenever you're in those situations that
you actually value here actually care about chickens haywire
one of most common reactions of your face tightens up even more becomes more
of a mass
and i the point that i made last year was that there is no
a study rise
there is no more
influential uh... signal
communication piece of communication
on with the woman that is more important than your face
before we've ever had written and spoken language human beings have been
communicating with their face
um... we can display the almost infinite range of human emotion
uh... on our face and therefore cannot communicating if you're tense in if
you're playing if your idea of a predisposition not to have a lot of
and you're in a situation
that that cause you to tens of even more
number when i said trying to overdo it and the opposite direction and already
had a happy medium and start hitting a place
and what if this indian here's the point here is your point kind of it will feel
a natural to feel really weird
it'll feel really awkward right
it won't be lia's almost natural for me as maybe would be right it would feel
less good for you is that what you're saying
what i'm saying is you to take these actions against hard on its own scenes
like these i feel like you have sort of
you're describing a system that works great for somebody who's got that your
natural dispositions
and i'm wondering how you would
modify that system for somebody who has my dispositions that sell worked with
guys i've worked with them
as to where mildly autistic who suffer from an burger sins
and time
social habits wouldn't go away yours i'd be willing to back and several bottom
the stuff universal
the stuff is about introvert extroverted the stuff about human communication
and it's all about and then you know what in your right some people have a
more for this position one way or another some people are screwed when it
comes this lottery
so we were screwed when it comes to other lotteries
everybody kind of evens out me and i believe but the question is is what do
you want in your life
and yes the easier route the more comfortable route will continue to get
what you've been getting
or you could decide to do things radically different
not radically but difference
in ways that field is really a natural to expect a few dramatically outside
your comfort zone but they give you a different results
you can't really doubting your ability to take different actions
noting your bill is not going to myself that i was talking honestly you what how
because my legal never be creepy
use that word a couple times and anytime you've ever been referred to as previous
cuz you're not smiling i promise you
you seem to be saying i should do what i said
you more like you which is which is fine i said that's a finite have more
emotional expression on your face and that's not a mean thing
for human paladin i unseen is leasing is actually one of the few which is fine
at the same person i've found it to work very well any guidance
one of my expression on my face is gonna look different than every other human
expression on every other place
but it's experts at their own individual fingerprint it's their own expression
when there are actually
on communicating using their emotions it's not gonna be my emotions every
single person when they're dropping hooks or their uh... where they're just
expressing in uh... in the interaction it's gonna look for the rest italy
different that's gonna be expression of their personality
when you are actually when you're on fire could you raise your hand natural
player in your social and people are laughing here in a great newt one-on-one
debate you've got a big smile on your face
and threw it doesn't look anything like me when i'm smiling on the great but it
looks like u
one turned up planned
monochromatic colors that have been getting the whole harmonica matic
results that you can get it
i want something better
if i could add students to study jets
i'll say that i'm also
it even more than you have a very xx
streaming server
it is not about conflicts for all
coming up
meanwhile they're doing something on purpose to meet people
torturer i'm very happy with that
so at the same time i can see the violin next saying and doing
and i have been able mullet implement that and certain specific points
all-purpose for short of time
press the time and i think any the stickers on something used by this
of total blank faced psych cracks took sultana
uh... city unlike maybe more than usual given my pictures on facebook me too
that serious you looked really high
and i don't i don't do drugs to never have
road yeah i'd some points on it'll be a separate
but first a little not even so at work is simple
as monica clear
let's get a wrap-up so both you guys yeah i think the questions care having
make purchase into capital tough question to the best answer crap record