LUKE CONARD LIVE - 7/18/12 (Full Ep)


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 18.07.2012

Transcript:
[INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC]
[ELEVATOR MUSIC]
BETH: Could you push 10, please?
Thank you.
[INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC]
BETH: And thus begins our--
Why are you?
What?
What are you doing?
NATE: I thought there was fire.
BETH: This is, this is crepe paper!
NATE: Looked like fire to me.
BETH: Are you?
Where?
Have you seen fire?
NATE: I'm, I'm sorry.
BETH: The Olympics are ruined.
The Olympics are ruined.
[MUSIC - JOHN PHILIP SOUSA, "STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER"]

[MUSIC - MY DAMN CHANNEL LIVE THEME]

BETH: Hey you guys, it's me MegaBeth.
DEATH METAL VOICE: MegaBeth!
Welcome to My Damn Channel Live.
Why am I dressed as a super hero?
Why am I holding this torch?
Because there's a lot going on here today.
First, as you just saw in the opening video, our celebration
of the summer Olympics begins today.
I love the Olympics, you guys.
Like really hard.
Like I get really into the Olympics.
And I'm really pumped, because over the next six weeks we're
going to be doing a bunch of live Olympic-like competitions
here live on our show.
Like with medal ceremonies, you guys.
I'm kind of competitive.
OK, and guess who's here today to do the first challenge.
Oh, just this guy named Luke Conard, who is a
super popular YouTuber.
Our King of the weg winner--
King-of-the-Web winner, vloggerm musician and --
"cue-tee-pie." One of us will win a gold medal later.
DEATH METAL VOICE: MegaBeth!
BETH: Okay, now in case you're worried that it won't be a
fair fight.
I'll let you know that MegaBeth will not be competing
against Luke, it'll just be Beth.
Because everyone knows MegaBeth has special powers,
like, um, is like the "freezing during a live show
power."
[BACKGROUND MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY]

BETH: That power.
And to the power to be able to understand French from a very
quiet lobster.
What's that Robin?
What's that?
OK, yeah.
He said get on with it and also slip into something sexy.
DEEP DEATH-METAL VOICE: Megabeth
BETH: It's a new phrase he learned, it's fine.
MegaBeth is here to introduce a very special My Damn Channel
original comedy video premier.
I'm so excited about our first video.
From the mind and body of Sandeep Parihk, we have for
you, episode two of your favorite, Superheros and the
Budget Crisis.
This is "Save the Supers." Play it guy.

ANNOUNCER: Previously on "Save the Supers," The super force
government funding was cut.
So they've started this reality show.
Night Knight wants to make a super baby out of their
combined DNA.
It makes sense.
Super force!

MERMAN: So we are exactly where we didn't want to be--
flat broke.
I'm going to have to let someone go.
Toughest part of the job.
Well, that and we had to kill a bunch of kids once.
They were evil.
But that was, that was a bummer too.
-[MUSIC]
MERMAN: Okay Fleet Foot, we're just going to do a little
performance review.
Just a chat amongst friends.
Okay?
No big deal
FLEET FOOT: Is this about my fire trail?
Because that's caused by friction, man.
I mean, that's science.
Like I just run fast and then sometimes there's flames.
And I can't defeat science.
I have a family to support.
I got babies.
I can't be no unemployed black man.
I cant, I can't be that stereotype!
MERMAN: Whoa, whoa, easy.
FLEET FOOT: Visuals, I need visuals.
Speed up, speed out.
[WHOOSH OF SPEED]
FLEET FOOT: 18 fast facts about Fleet.
One, world's fastest man.

ELEMENTRA: Fire me.
MERMAN: [LAUGHS]
El, I need to take this seriously.
ELEMENTRA: I am.
[FLICKS LIGHTER]
MERMAN: OK, You can't smoke in--
ELEMENTRA: I've been fighting crime for 400 years.
MERMAN: 422 to be--
I mean it's in your file.
I just read it.
ELEMENTRA: Yeah well, it's getting old.
I mean maybe it's just time to move on.
MERMAN: El, I need you.
We, the whole team, needs you.
You're a goddess in that you have gods
for parents, specifi--
that's the definition.
I'm like her best friend.
I'm like in--
in the friend zone.
[CLEARS THROAT]
[MUFFLED ARGUING]
WORLD MAN: Another five minutes of faking
like I might get fired.
MERMAN: Yes, that should about do it.
I'm going to point at this several times.
Point, point, point, point, point, point point, point,
point point, point, point.
And then I'm gonna point at you.
[MUFFLED ARGUING]
WORLD MAN: As if Mermaid is going to fire the only
superhero that had super strength, super speed, flight,
x-ray vision, laser eyes, and this--
my own cereal.
They're good!

NIGHT KNIGHT: I want you to know Merman, whatever you
decide, I'm 100% behind you.
MERMAN: Uh wow, that is surprising coming from you,
and very meaningful.
NIGHT KNIGHT: Budgets are just so frustrating,
MERMAN: Yeah they really are.
NIGHT KNIGHT: Just makes me so spitting mad.
[SPITS]
OK, go ahead Merman, spit out the anger right into this
petri dish.
MERMAN: No, dude.
I'm not going to give you my DNA so that you can build a
super baby.
That's not going to help solve our financial problems.
NIGHT KNIGHT: You don't know that.
If all goes to plan, he'll be the David Schwimmer of
superheroes.
MERMAN: Ah, I don't, I, how does that have anything to do
with anything.
Listen, your job is on a line.
I can fire you.
NIGHT KNIGHT: No, you can't because
I'm not on the payroll.
MERMAN: Ahhhh, my hair.
NIGHT KNIGHT: Smoke bomb.
[POP]
MERMAN: I checked and Night Knight is
actually not on our payroll.
I guess none of us really know what his secret identity is.
He could be a billionaire for all we know.

Morph Man, you mean the one guy that's actually out on a
mission right now?
I don't think I want to fire him at all.
No, he's a model team member.
I mean, he has had issues with alcohol but that, but that's
in his past.
MALE SPEAKER: But what happened in his past?
MERMAN: In a battle with the Grey Ghoul, he was faced with
the choice of either saving his girlfriend or a busload of
schoolchildren.
He tried to save both of them and failed.
They, they all died.
Everyone died.
MERMAN: El, the world needs superheroes like you.
I mean ask yourself--
ELEMENTRA: I can't control my powers.
So I should probably be fired for that.
MERMAN: Yeah, stop it.
OK stop it.
You are not fired.
Now get out of my office.
FLEET FOOT: And 18, brings diversity to the Super Force.
Parenthetically, affirmative action.
MERMAN: That was great.
I think I have more than enough information.
FLEET FOOT: I can do better.
Speed Up.
Speed Out.
Fleet Foot, the world's fastest man.
A true team player.
Father of six.
Friend to Merman.
MERMAN: Everybody on this team contributes so much.
I don't know who to let go.
WORLD MAN: You guys seen this?
Great power Mermaid Man.
We really need someone with squid ink arms.
Ewwwww!

[ELECTRONIC KEYPAD BEEPING]
MERMAN: Let's gather up everybody.

So I took a hard look at us, the team.
And come to a decision.
99% of our missions are on land.
So I think that I should be--
[CRASH]
MERMAN: Morph Man are you be drunk?
ELEMENTRA: Ahh, smells like Nick Nolte's beard.
[VOMITS]
WORLD MAN: Oh round two.
MERMAN: Ah, I have a weak stomach.
OK someone needs to clean this up, so--
ELEMENTRA: Ha, I'm not doing it.
WORLD MAN: I don't, I don't clean.
NIGHT KNIGHT: Poor Morph Man.
Poor, poor Morph Man.
I feel so bad for him.
MERMAN: So Morph Man ruined his undercover mission, and
now the Watchmaker has all the gears from Big Ben.
Drinking on the job is unacceptable.
So I mean, we have to let him go.
I love the guy.
You know, he's a brother to me.
Morph Man was the one guy that when I came on the team, he
supported me.
A lot the guys on the team were like, what do we need an
ocean guy for?
There's not a ton of crime in the ocean.
But he needs some professional help.
He'll be missed.

NIGHT KNIGHT: Good night Fred.
Good night T-Boz.
MALE SPEAKER 2: G'night Night Knight.

FEMALE SPEAKER: Ewww, that robot just barfed.

BETH: Aww, no Morph Man.
Can't Morph Man morph into a funnel when he's drinking so
the alcohol just pours out his bottom?
When it comes to alcohol, I am problem solver.
I hope you guys enjoyed that premier.
We sure did.
And there's more Save the Supers in coming weeks.
So stay tuned.
And hey, look who's here?
It's Luke Conard everyone.
LUKE CONARD: Hey.
BETH: Hey, Luke.
Awesome!
LUKE: How you doin'?
BETH: I'm good, and you?
LUKE: I am great.
Thanks.
BETH: Thank you so much for being here.
LUKE: Yeah, thanks for inviting me.
BETH: Before we do anything else, I want to officially,
finally, successfully, Nate, light our
official Olympic cauldron.
Will you do the honors Luke?
LUKE: I would love to.
BETH: Awesome.

LUKE: Whoa, did you see that?
BETH: The My Damn Channel Live summer Olympics spectacular is
officially underway.
This fire will stay lit for the entirety of our Olympic
coverage, unless the monitor gets unplugged or we need it
for something else.
LUKE: It's warm, warm.
BETH: Oh, it's getting warm in here on a 100 degree day in
New York City.
Feels good.
I'm lucky enough to be collaborating with a bunch of
YouTubers for the Olympics.
You're doing that too.
You have a team, right?
LUKE: Yeah, yep.
We're gonna be--
BETH: Who's on your team?
LUKE: Going to be Josh Sundquist, Ingrid,
Missglamorazzi, let's see, I know J1mmybobba
is going to be there.
I believe FleurDeForce.
It's going to be so much fun.
BETH: Cool, what a team.
Those are like your friends, right?
LUKE: Yeah, they're all my friends and we're
all going to be there.
BETH: That's really exciting.
Well, there are superstars on my team too.
LUKE: Oh yeah?
BETH: We have their heads on sticks in a cute way.
We have TheMeFund.
We've got William Haynes.
Tristopia TV, [INAUDIBLE]
times.
We've got Dan Rezler, and Wheezy Waiter He's going to be
our captain.
He's actually going to be at the games, Wheezy Waiter.
LUKE: Who's that guy?
Who's Wheezy Waiter?
BETH: Who's Wheezy Waiter?
LUKE: Nobody knows who he is.
BETH: Yeah, barely anyone, just everyone.
Team, what our team is called, you know
what our team is called?
It's Team Super Jackal Hawk Tiger Explosion.
LUKE: Oh my gosh.
BETH: It's just--
LUKE: I didn't know that.
That's really funny.
BETH: There are more teams with people like [INAUDIBLE]
team, [INAUDIBLE]
Mitchell Davis, lots of YouTubers are going there.
What's your team name?
Do you know?
LUKE: We are going to be, Josh Sundquist's kind of catch
phrase is, Team We Should Hang Out Sometime.
So yeah, we should hang out sometime.
BETH: That's so cool.
And you're going to London, right?
LUKE: Yeah, I'm going to be there at the Olympics.
BETH: I'm just, just keeping a lid on my jealousy.
LUKE: Yeah?
You can watch all of my vlogs.
BETH: I will.
I totally will.
I mean I will live vicariously through you.
I'll like just pump it [INAUDIBLE]
Do you hear the thunder?
Do you guys [INAUDIBLE]
I know it's really exciting.
So, I'm not the only one asking you questions today?
I'm not the only one because you have all these fans want
to ask you questions.
You guys have questions for Luke?
I bet you do.
Let's get to one of your YouTube comments right now.
LUKE: Let's check it out.
BETH: So this is from 1993tahira.
Luke, what are you most excited
about coming to England?
LUKE: I am excited to um stand in the rain, and use my
umbrella finally.
No, obviously--
BETH: Yeah, [INAUDIBLE]
London [INAUDIBLE]
LUKE: Yeah, it's definitely going to be the Olympics.
It's also going to be hanging out with all of my friends.
We're actually going to be staying at house.
Like 50 YouTubers all in one big house.
The collaborations are going to be amazing.
So, yeah.
I'm really pumped about it.
BETH: That sounds like a reality show or--
LUKE: I know.
It could be a lot of drama.
I'll get it all on my vlog.
BETH: Awesome, that's really exciting.
OK so, see, send in your questions and Luke will
prepare to do [INAUDIBLE]
In the meantime, check out this video from My Damn
Channel's own Mark Malkoff.
This isn't an officially sanctioned Olympic
competition, but after watching this video I
think it should be.
You tell me what you think.
It's Big Wheel vs. Bus.
LUKE: Sounds awesome.
[SEGMENT CHANGE MUSIC]
MARK MALKOFF: Hi, I'm Mark Malkoff.
Currently I'm on a New York City bus.
I almost never take the bus anymore because they are way
too slow here in the city.
My guess is even a child's big wheel would beat a
New York City bus.
And believe it or not, that's what I'm going to attempt to
prove, right now.
It is Big Wheel vs. Bus.

The race, one mile on 42nd street, from 10th Avenue to
Madison Avenue.
Can I successfully pull it off?
We're about to find out.

FEMALE SPEAKER 2: I think the bus would beat the big wheel.
MALE SPEAKER 2: The big wheel.
By far.
FEMALE SPEAKER 3: I'd say a bus.
MALE SPEAKER 3: Big wheel
MALE SPEAKER 4: The bus would definitely win.
FEMALE SPEAKER 4: I'd say a big wheel.
[TRUMPET FANFARE]
[REVVING ENGINES]
[SNARE DRUMS]
MARK MALKOFF: Here it comes.

[HONK HONK]
MARK MALKOFF: Okay go, go!

Going.
I'm doing this, I'm doing this, I'm doing this, ahh.
Ahh, oh my god.
I can't believe it.

Bus driver, you think you're so cool because you have huge
windshield wipers and can control the doors.

[LAUGHING]
MARK MALKOFF: OK the bus is right in front of me.
We're catching the bus.
The bus is right here guys.
We're passing the bus.
I'm passing the bus.
I'm beating the bus right now.
I am beating the bus.
I am beating the bus.
I am beating the bus.
I am beating the bus.
Oh my gosh.
Only three avenues to go.

This is way faster than the bus.
Plus I don't have give up my seat to
the elderly or pregnant.
Woohoo!
Haha ha, haha.

Yeah, my legs are in so much pain.
Yes, I'm a huge baby.
We're almost there.
(IN SLO-MO) Almost to Madison.
Almost to Madison.

Oh my god.
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]
MARK MALKOFF: I did it!
I did it.
I single handedly beat a major source of transportation on a
child's toy.
[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]
Take that, MTA.
I beat the bus.
I beat the bus.
I beat the bus.
I beat the bus.
I beat the bus.
I beat the bus.
I beat the bus.

BETH: Wow, have you been on the New York City bus before?
LUKE CONARD: I haven't.
BETH: They are really that slow.
LUKE CONARD: Maybe I should go try it out.
We should go.
BETH: No, that's a good lesson that you just can
walk next to one.
That's what you do.
OK, so how about we get some questions from you guys?
First one is a Twitter question.
A question from Twitter.
It's from John Valen--
@thebesthoyt how, it's not, that's not, it
should be my handle.
It's not.
How excited are you to go to London?
And is it your first time?
LUKE CONARD: It is not my first time.
I'm very excited to go to London.
Thank you for the question.
I was there, it was probably five years ago, visiting a now
ex-girlfriend who had actually cheated on me.
So--
BETH: While you were there?
LUKE CONARD: Should we, should we talk about it?
BETH: I want all the details.
LUKE CONARD: She actually had cheated on me beforehand.
BETH: And you didn't know?
And then you went there and then you found out?
LUKE CONARD: Yeah, and it was terrible.
And I followed her around for about a week.
BETH: Wait, following her around being like, I
know, I found out.
LUKE CONARD: Yeah, yeah.
BETH: Or you didn't know yet?
LUKE CONARD: No I did know.
I knew right away.
BETH: Oh my gosh.
LUKE CONARD: Yeah, it's turned into a love-line.
BETH: How can we--
That's good.
I like that.
I like these kinds of things.
I like getting into this.
I love that you went there and told us that.
LUKE CONARD: This experience will be better,
I promise you that.
BETH: But now you're in a good, happy relationship,
which we all get [INAUDIBLE]
LUKE CONARD: You got to have the sour, to get the sweet.
BETH: Yeah, right, right.
Absolutely.
LUKE CONARD: Did I mess it up?
BETH: No.
Take the sour to get the sweet.
OK, the next question from Twitter is from SelinaFoster2.
At a restaurant with food, would you have no spice, mild,
medium, hot or extra hot?
LUKE CONARD: Ohh, I would probably go with the hot.
BETH: Wow.
LUKE CONARD: Not the super hot.
BETH: Okay.
LUKE CONARD: I like the, I like the spicy.
It's good.
BETH: Only because we, earlier we talked about how we're both
from the Midwest.
You're from Iowa and I'm from Wisconsin.
And I grew up with like no seasoning or flavoring.
I'd realized this later that I grew up on like salt and
pepper maybe.
So I can't handle hot stuff.
As much as I like it, I have to have a shot of milk after
to tone it down.
LUKE CONARD: [LAUGHS]
BETH: So did you grow up with hot food?
Or did you just have a tolerance for it?
LUKE CONARD: My parents liked spicy stuff.
But no, I definitely, I definitely
like the spicy foods.
BETH: They did sell Tabasco in Iowa, I guess.
I didn't even realize that.
LUKE CONARD: Not Wisconsin.
BETH: Not Wisconsin.
Nope.
Next comment is from YouTube inbeddead.
In bed dead.
Uh oh.
Luke is taking care of Nugget when--
who is taking care of nugget, when you and Ingrid are gone?
LUKE CONARD: Uh, we were actually going to leave him at
my house, so he could just roam around Echo Base.
It's what we call our house because we're nerds and we
like Star Wars stuff.
We were going to have him roam around the house and maybe eat
all of our mice.
We don't actually have mice.
Ingrid's mom.
Ingrid's mom is going to be taking care of her.
That is the answer.
BETH: Nugget will be safe.
LUKE CONARD: Yes
BETH: Next comment from YouTube is from ogetdarkus13.
Luke, are you ever going to play Minecraft with Joey?
And then this face.
Can I see you make that-- yeah, okay.
LUKE CONARD: Uh, yeah, maybe, sometime.
I have a gaming channel called Luke's Arcade.
And Joey, my friend Joey Graceffa, from
WinterSpringPro, which is actually not WinterSpringPro
anymore really.
But he plays Minecraft and I'm in the
background recording him.
So I add commentary sometimes.
So I'm kinda playing.
Do you guys play Minecraft?
Do you play Minecraft?
BETH: No.
LUKE CONARD: It's fun.
It's a video game
BETH: I know.
I mean, no, I don't.
But I would like--
sounds fun.
LUKE CONARD: Yeah, you should play it.
Big blocks everywhere.
BETH: It sounds like you should play with Joey.
LUKE CONARD: Big LEGO world.
BETH: Cool.
Alright, we're going to answer some more of your questions.
So keep doing this.
Keep sending them in.
Um, but later, heads up, Luke and i are going to be going
mano a mano for the first gold medal of the My Damn Channel
Live Olympics.
LUKE CONARD: It's going to be so good.
BETH: It's going to be something.
LUKE CONARD: Wish me luck.
Wish me luck in the comments.
BETH: Wish me luck.
Wish me luck.
Wish me luck.
LUKE CONARD: No!
Wish her anti luck.
Wish me luck.
BETH: Wish me luck.
But first, let's go to the My Damn Channel original premier.
We're going to play for you guys right now while
we get pumped up.
Ah, this is from The Co-op of the Damned.
This is "The Killer." Enjoy.
We'll be right back.
[SEGMENT CHANGE MUSIC]
[HORROR MOVIE MUSIC]
[HIP HOP MUSIC]
MALE PARTY GUEST: I just gave up my gym membership.
Cause you know what?
The streets, you know you can just walk around.
That's exercise.
FEMALE PARTY GUEST: [MURMURRING AGREEMENT].
MALE PARTY GUEST: You know and then you could jump stuff.
Like parkour.
FEMALE PARTY GUEST: I'll be right back.

MALE PARTY GUEST: Lay up.
FEMALE PARTY GUEST: [SINGING]
My booty's so big.
My booty's so big.
[KNOCK AND THE SOUND OF WIND]
FEMALE PARTY GUEST: Who the fuck is it?
[DOOR RATTLING]
FEMALE PARTY GUEST: What!?
[SOUND OF BREATHING]
[HORROR MOVIE MUSIC]
MALE PARTY GUEST: I just do parkour.
FEMALE PARTY GUEST 2: Oh my gosh.
MALE PARTY GUEST: I just jump off of like tall--
FEMALE PARTY GUEST 2: That's amazing.
FEMALE PARTY GUEST: Oh my god, move.
Wha, whah--
Who the hell is this?
[STUTTERING]
FEMALE PARTY GUEST: Knife, man!
MALE PARTY GUEST: I'm not, not following.
FEMALE PARTY GUEST: Weapon, he's trying to kill me!
[SPOOKY FANFARE]
HOMICIDAL MANIAC: No, no.
[SPOOKY FANFARE]
HOMICIDAL MANIAC: Ok, no.
Oh, shit!
Okay, uh, okay, [INAUDIBLE]
Just a second.

[CELL PHONE RINGS]
STANISLAV: Go for Stanislav.
Hi, it's me.
It's kind of a bad time Barry.
HOMICIDAL MANIAC: It's kind of a bad time for me too.
And you're my sponsor.
You're supposed to be helping me.
STANISLAV: Well fine.
Christ, what is it?
HOMICIDAL MANIAC: OK, I'm at the party.
But I don't know who to kill first.
STANISLAV: I'll be with you in a minute.
Well, did you check the book?
HOMICIDAL MANIAC: No, you don't understand, Stan.

They're are all black.
FEMALE PARTY GUEST: Excuse me?
HOMICIDAL MANIAC: OK, I'll check OK.
Hi, uh, sorry to interrupt your party.
Which one of you would you say is the most sassy?
MALE PARTY GUEST: Man, fuck this!
HOMICIDAL MANIAC: [SHOUTING IN FEAR]
Oh, I'm going to have to call you back.
[PUNCHES]
HOMICIDAL MANIAC: There's so many fists.

BETH: Wow, that guy really knows how to kill a party.
There'll be none of that here.
[INAUDIBLE]
No, I want you to--
I just--
stop pumping up your muscles.
You guys are going to give you--
We're going to give Luke more of your
comments and questions.
But I want to add a challenge to this, just to pump it up.
Because I want to get warmed up for our challenge that will
be happening later.
So we're just going to practice our tossing with, you
know, the casual game everyone wants you to play which is
toss the marshmallow into your mouth.
LUKE CONARD: OK, let's try this.
I'm first?
BETH: Yeah.
LUKE CONARD: Oh!
That was off my tooth.
BETH: Off the rim of the tooth.
LUKE CONARD: OK this is [INAUDIBLE]
BETH: We're going to get your questions.
LUKE CONARD: We're going to shoot some--
Here we go.
BETH: Oh, at least mine got rim.
That was terrible.
That was a really negative start.
Alright we need to--
comment on YouTube.
This is from Grace Earl.
Luke, what is your favorite mystical or non-real animal?
Or extinct?
Wow, that's a lot of options.
Ready, before you answer.
LUKE CONARD: We are terrible, [INAUDIBLE].
OK so I would say that my favorite animal--
BETH: Mystical, extinct.
LUKE CONARD: I love, I love T-Rexes but also I also love
Snorlax, a lot.
BETH: Who's that?
LUKE CONARD: He's an animal, right?
Isn't Snorlax an animal?
He's a Pokemon.
BETH: Oh.
LUKE CONARD: He's the really big, fat, lazy--
anybody knows.
You guys know who Snorlax is.
Like, he comes down and says [DEEP ROAR]
SNORLAX!
BETH: Oh, OK, sure.
LUKE CONARD: Here we go.
BETH: So, yeah.
LUKE CONARD: Oh my god.
BETH: Poke my eye out on that one.
It's fine.
I think that my chances of winning the competition coming
up soon are looking brighter.
Here's a comment from YouTube for you Luke.
This is from iJoshuaE.
LUKE CONARD: Oh my gosh.
BETH: Luke, can you play chubby bunny for us?
LUKE CONARD: Oh my gosh.
Can we-- do we have time to do this?
BETH: Yeah, so we just, you just start shoving them in
your mouth until--
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
LUKE CONARD: BETH: We have enough.
We have enough.
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
BETH: I'm just going to casually do one.
Yeah, and then.
So say it now.
Right.
LUKE CONARD: [MUFFLED VOICE]
I can't breathe.
BETH: Can you, you can't breathe?
LUKE CONARD: [MUFFLED]
You get one too.
BETH: Alright, sure I will join you in the fun with that,
because they look delicious.
So, the idea is you just put them all in your mouth.
And then [MUFFLED]
[INAUDIBLE]
[INTERPOSED MUFFLED VOICES]
LUKE CONARD: Oh my gosh.
BETH: [MUFFLED]
Chubby bunnies!
LUKE CONARD: I don't actually now how to play the game.
I don't even know how to play the game, Beth.
OK.
But I just put a bunch of them in my mouth.
BETH: Well, we did that for you, Joshua.
LUKE CONARD: It was hard to breathe.
BETH: I think you have to count how many that were in
your mouth.
So we'll just count out our spit out marshmallows and just
see who won.
LUKE CONARD: I think I won.
BETH: I think I won.
LUKE CONARD: I think I won.
BETH: I think I probably won that.
LUKE CONARD: I think I won.
BETH: I probably won that
[INTERPOSING VOICES]
BETH: I probably won gold.
Here's a tweet from you guys.
That is from XxZeldaLoverxX.
What's the craziest thing you've ever done?
Craziest thing you've ever done.
LUKE CONARD: Craziest thing?
So--
BETH: So like the chubby bunnies on live internet?
LUKE CONARD: That was what it is.
On My Damn Channel, it was about 30 seconds ago.
No, I was a river guide for six years.
BETH: Wow, on what river?
LUKE CONARD: The Snake River in Wyoming at the Grand Teton
National Park.
BETH: That sounds beautiful.
LUKE CONARD: Yeah, so we went down a class four rapid when
it was a high water season.
So it was like a huge thing.
I basically just got like tossed 30 feet in the air off
of the raft.
BETH: 30 feet is is, is a lot.
LUKE CONARD: It was very high.
And it was, like, a lot of impact
coming down on the water.
You'd think water would be--
BETH: How are you alive, right now?
LUKE CONARD: Well, I've jumped off like 30 to
40 foot cliffs before.
It's not that high.
BETH: Sure, sure.
LUKE CONARD: But uh, going through a rapid like that, you
can get sucked, sucked down into whirlpools and stuff.
BETH: I'm glad you made it out of that and to tell us.
That's, that's thrilling.
LUKE CONARD: It was probably the most crazy
thing I've ever done.
BETH: I'm afraid of thrills and heights and everything.
I mean my heart is beating out of my chest right now.
LUKE CONARD: Well you did chubby bunny, right?
BETH: Yeah, here's another tweet.
This is from BlaineGregory1.
Which is better in your opinion, New York or LA?
Well, you're just here, so.
Here we go.
LUKE CONARD: I want to try.
I--
the thing is, I'm in a room full of New Yorkers right now,
so in order--
BETH: It's OK.
Continue on.
LUKE CONARD: So I just don't want to get beat up.
I don't want to get beat up.
BETH: Well, you live in LA.
LUKE CONARD: I really like LA a lot.
BETH: How much time have you spent in New York?
LUKE CONARD: I've been here one time before.
But before that--
on this visit, I've only been here a day.
It's really hot.
It's hot, it's hot and humid.
And I feel like I'm swimming through the streets.
And it's bad smells on the streets.
Please don't hate me New York people.
BETH: We don't hate you.
We don't hate you at all.
You live in LA.
Do you like living in LA?
LUKE CONARD: I do love living in LA.
BETH: Two at a time.
I just nailed them at your face.
LUKE CONARD: OK, here we go.
Ready?
BETH: Oh god.
Am I, am I bruised?
LUKE CONARD: I had to do it.
BETH: It's okay, I'll cherish the bruises.
We have another tweet.
This is from MyRustyHalO.
Favorite YouTuber?
LUKE CONARD: MyRustyHalO, oh wow.
It'd actually probably be the team lead for you, for your
guys' team.
I really like Wheezy Waiter a lot.
BETH: He's awesome.
LUKE CONARD: Craig, Wheezy Waiter, he's amazing.
Just because he's also an inspiration for me, in the
fact that he is consistently putting out content.
He puts like five quality videos out a week.
I don't know if he does that as much anymore, but he was a
big inspiration for me when I first started doing YouTube
just because it was like, oh my gosh, this guy's-- it's his
full time job to put content online.
BETH: I agree.
I've been watching a lot of him too.
He's just like, I mean--
LUKE CONARD: And he's always hilarious.
I just like that.
BETH: Yes, and a mid westerner.
LUKE CONARD: Yeah, Chicago yeah.
BETH: I mean, we all share this.
OK here we go.
We're going to-- that's the last comments.
We're just going to do a few more rapid fire and
then we're going to--
LUKE CONARD: Be nice?
BETH: Yeah, OK, nice.
LUKE CONARD: Here, actually let's do a
lob, let's do a lob.
BETH: OK.

LUKE CONARD: Hey, we got one!
BETH: And then a a lob for you.
And then--
all right, great.
LUKE CONARD: That's what we should have been doing the
whole time.
BETH: I know.
[INAUDIBLE]
Oops.
All right, when we get back, Luke and I are going to be
going for the gold here in the studio.
First, we have a proud history of competition in this show.
And throughout our Olympic coverage--
LUKE CONARD: I'll pick it up.
BETH: No, we like it.
Throughout out Olympic coverage, we will be bringing
you some of our most triumphant
moments from the show.
Here is-- hold on.
First, let's just try this one.
Open your mouth.
LUKE CONARD: OK.
BETH: Ooooh yes!
LUKE CONARD: We actually got it!
BETH: That was really exciting.
LUKE CONARD: Hey!
All right.
BETH: That was so good.
I just can't believe that just happened.
Anyway, you guys, here is an Olympic moment.
Other than the one that just happened.
An Olympic moment in My Damn Channel Live history.
LUKE CONARD: Worth a gold medal.
BETH: Yeah.

[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]
ANNOUNCER 2: The great ones are always a little different.
They're out there every day, pounding the pavement.
But they're not alone.
Because we're a little different too.
We're MeatWater.
A rehydrating sports drink packed with protein blasts.
MeatWater, the great ones are always a little different.
Do you have something a little different inside of you?
MeatWater, is it in you?

BETH: OK, we're ready for this.
This is little game called shots 'n shots.
Yeah, there we go.
All right.
We're each going to take three shots of the Nerf basket.
And whoever sinks the most, will win the gold.
Now, however--
ding-- for each shot that we miss, we have to take a shot
of one of these special concoctions.
Wow, they really filled these to the brim.
LUKE CONARD: And they smell delicious.
BETH: It's really, really aromatic in here.
This is pickle juice.
First one's pickle juice.
The next one is barbecue sauce.
And the third one, thanks to [INAUDIBLE] for this tip.
It's meat water.
So we're just going each scoop up a little
bit of this in there.
LUKE CONARD: So disgusting.
BETH: You can scoop your own.
So what we have in here is roast beef just marinating in
this water.
And then let's just maybe get it real like, get the real
meat into each of our shots.
Just squeeze it out there.
Really looks delicious.
Smells good.
LUKE CONARD: You got to do one of these guys.
BETH: Just really soak that meat--
LUKE CONARD: Oh my god.
BETH: This is going to be great in a sammy later.
You know, it'll soak up the bread really good.
I love the smell of wet roast beef on my hands.
LUKE CONARD: I can't believe this.
BETH: OK thank you [INAUDIBLE]
Wow all right.
LUKE CONARD: We do this for you, Youtube people.
BETH: We do it for you.
And we do it for the gold.
I'm serious here.
Let's get going.
I'm first, because I'm a lady that just squeezed roast beef.
OK, ready guys?
Three shots, let's do this.
Boom.
LUKE CONARD: Best of luck to all the competitors.
And ohh, so close.
All right, so I take my first shot.
All right, pickle juice.
This is going to be my sodium intake.

That is so salty.
Wakes you up.
LUKE CONARD: Oh, I'm going do it.
I'm going to do it.
BETH: OK, no pressure.
Oh my gosh, it lingers.
OK Yes!
LUKE CONARD: Ohhh!
BETH: All right, you take your pickle juice shot.
Into the shot cam.
Into the shot cam.
Into the shot cam.

Sweet.
Oh yeah, it's so good.
It just really lingers.
Still, I'm still gagging on mine little bit.
Yeah, yum.
LUKE CONARD: Ahhh.
BETH: All right.
Boom, you did.
LUKE CONARD: It made my eyes water a little bit.
BETH: Ditch that.
Oh, God.
No problem.
Pickle juice in my eye.
No big deal.
All right, ready and number two.
The score is 0-0.
Oh my gosh.
LUKE CONARD: That was the worst shot I've
ever seen in my life.
BETH: I just have pickle--
LUKE CONARD: Barbeque sauce.
BETH: Barbeque sauce and taking it down the hatch.
This is awesome.

LUKE CONARD: We are Olympic athletes.
We are Olympic athletes.
BETH: That was so good, you guys.
I, all right, 0-0 so far.
You go, Luke.
Second shot.
Boom.
LUKE CONARD: From downtown.
BETH: I hope you miss.
LUKE CONARD: Oh, that was a swish.
BETH: Oh my God.
And that is, that is so much worse than it looks, you guys.
You have no idea.
Luke is about to find out that is really worse than it looks.
LUKE CONARD: Really, is it?
BETH: It's so bad.
Good luck.
LUKE CONARD: I would think barbeque sauce would be good.
BETH: Take her down and let me know what you think.
Wow, it is just thick and really viscous, and really--
[LAUGHING]
That is exactly what I did.
LUKE CONARD: That's like impossible.
BETH: It is impossible.
LUKE CONARD: It's impossible to do.
BETH: I dare you guys to try it at home.
And now--
LUKE CONARD: No, please kids, don't do it at home.
BETH: So the score is still 0-0.
We have to make this or else we have to take a shot of the
meat water.
LUKE CONARD: I thought barbecue sauce
was going to be easy.
BETH: Oh yeah.

I'm so happy--
LUKE CONARD: Are you kidding?
BETH: I'm so happy.
I'm going to cry.
OK.
LUKE CONARD: Oh my gosh.
BETH: Good luck, Luke.
OK, this is for the win.
If you miss, you have to take a meat shot and you lose.
No big deal.
LUKE CONARD: It is so gross.
BETH: No pressure.
No pressure.
Big deal, 1-0.
LUKE CONARD: Yeah!
BETH: All right well the good news, congratulations.
LUKE CONARD: Yes!
BETH: You don't have to take the meat water, but now we
have a shoot-out because, we have to break the tie.
So whoever--
we're just going to go back.
[INAUDIBLE]
makes the most shots--
LUKE CONARD: Meat water, it's for you.
BETH: --is going to win the gold.
OK, that was a miss.
LUKE CONARD: Oh please, please.
BETH: It's still 1-1.
LUKE CONARD: Should I do a granny?
BETH: Oh gosh.
LUKE CONARD: Yes!
BETH: OK, so here's the one--
OK, that's great.
So the one, the one little trick though of this.
Or just the one addition to this competition, is that the
winner of the gold is just you have, to win gold, you have to
guess a number 1 through 10.
LUKE CONARD: 1 through 1-?
BETH: Uh huh.
This is for the gold.
LUKE CONARD: That should be easy enough.
I'm going to go with seven, lucky number seven.
BETH: OK you have to go, you have to guess another number.
LUKE CONARD: Wait, was that the number?
BETH: You have to guess a different number for the gold.
LUKE CONARD: OK, gold medal because I want it so bad.
I'm going to go with the three.
BETH: OK, you know what?
It was a different number.
I win.
I win the gold.
LUKE CONARD: No!
BETH: I win the gold.
LUKE CONARD: You still have to take the meat shot.
BETH: I dont!
LUKE CONARD: Yes you do.
You missed it.
BETH: No.
I won the gold.
[INAUDIBLE] we're going to set up the medal
ceremony right now.
While you please take a look see at another triumphant
Olympic moment in My Damn Channel Live history.
This is boxing.

[TRIUMPHANT MUSIC]
FEMALE VOICE (SINGING): It's the Jon Friedman Internet
Program on the worldwide web.
[DIAL TONE AND DIAL UP MODEM HANDSHAKE]

[CRASH]
MALE VOICE: Ahh no!
My other arm!

FEMALE VOICE (SINGING): It's the John Friedman Internet
Program on the worldwide web.

HANNAH HART: Hi, I'm Hannah Hart, and you're watching My
Damn Channel Live.

BETH: OK, it was a hard fought match, but I did
win fair and square.
LUKE CONARD: Not true.
BETH: And that means that Luke wins the silver.
Please stand right here.
I'm just going to put this on you, right there.
If you can just stand back right there, perfect.
OK and Nate, how about since uh, we need you to, someone
needs to come in in third, or last as I like to call it.
So we're just going to give you that.
Also, you really effed up that beginning
there with that segment.
So if you'd just stand here.
And that is yours.
And, you guys, I'll just put this right on myself.
I just, I won.
This feels great.
If everyone could just stand and put your
hand on your heart.
LUKE CONARD: It was rigged.
BETH: And we can listen as the My Damn
Channel Live anthem plays.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
BETH: Thanks so much for joining us, Luke.
That was really awesome.
Thank you for coming and playing with us and for taking
those shots.
Um, Daily Grace will be here tomorrow with
YouTuber Jason Horton.
Our Olympic celebration will continue next Tuesday with
Wheezy Waiter here live in the studio.
Gilbert Gottfried will be our special guest next Wednesday.
So tune in.
Make sure to subscribe.
And remember, go for the gold.
It's, it's the only one that really matters.