Zombie Dice, Get Bit! & Tsuro: Ryan Higa, Freddie Wong, Rod Roddenberry. TableTop Ep 3

Wil WHEATON: This may come as a surprise to some of you, but
my friends and I get together a couple times a
month for a game day.
On a typical game day, we will play a couple of hour-long
strategy games and then settle in for one of those three-hour
long big box games.
But in between them, we have a really good time playing fun,
fast, casual games.
Today on TableTop, Freddie Wong, Rod
Roddenberry, and Ryan Higa.
are all here to join me in a trio of my
favorite casual games--
Zombie Dice, Tsuro, and Get Bit.

FREDDIE WONG: Hi, my name is Freddie Wong.
My friend and I, Brandon, we made YouTube videos.
ROD RODDENBERRY: My name's Rod Roddenberry.
My father was Gene Roddenberry,
creator of Star Trek.
But I hope to be known as the son who carried on his vision
and legacy.
RYAN HIGA: Hi, I'm Ryan Higa, and basically all I do is make
YouTube videos.

Wil WHEATON: This is a
path-finding, tile-laying game.
We are flying dragons.
On every turn, we will play a title on the board.
Every dragon touching that tile has to follow the path it
makes to completion--
like this.
Or like this.

If you fly off the board, you are eliminated.
If you crash into another dragon, you are eliminated.
Who will be the last dragon standing and win the game?
Let's find out.
It's time to play Tsuro.
I will go first, and I will play this tile here.
And my dragon will go whoosh and stop there, on that tile.
Logic dictates that if you can get to the center, then you
have more options to fly around before you're forced
into a wall and forced off the game.
So I was trying to get myself into the center and then get
everybody else out to the sides.
RYAN HIGA: I'm just going to go straight.
I just don't like that you're right there.
Wil WHEATON: Yeah, it's scary.
RYAN HIGA: I wasn't big on tabletop games.
I've played Monopoly.
I mean, Connect Four, like just really
basic games I guess.
FREDDIE WONG: I do consider myself a gamer, except I
haven't had a lot of time to do it because of our video
release schedule.
But whenever I can, I try and get the gaming on.
I'm just going to chill out over in this corner here.
Wil WHEATON: Oh, it's the Tron gambit, out and an
immediate left turn.
FREDDIE WONG: Exactly.
ROD RODDENBERRY: I'm going to make a swooping right or left
depending on where you're coming from here.

The main idea is to just keep finding a line and following
it, and making sure it doesn't hit another dragon
and go off the board.
And it seems easy, but you actually have to think
multiple cards ahead.
WIL WHEATON: Let's see here.
I'm going to continue on this way.
Whoosh.
This is the fun of this game, is that at this point it looks
like everything looks really great.
We're chilling out.
We're flying around.
FREDDIE WONG: It's got the zen garden vibe.
WIL WHEATON: And then it completely devolves.
RYAN HIGA: My strategy is to stay away from Wil.
Or anyone else better than me, so I'm just going to be
defensive and run away from all the other dragons.
WIL WHEATON: That's a good.
RYAN HIGA: I'm just going to keep going straight.
Let me fix this.
There we go.
FREDDIE WONG: I'm just going to continue
trucking along here.
WIL WHEATON: OK.
FREDDIE WONG: The edges of the world.
This point my strategy going through this entire game is to
avoid everybody.
Any game with squiggly lines causes
massive amounts of confusion.
ROD RODDENBERRY: I'll just keep going in that direction.
Straight moving.
WIL WHEATON: I'm going to trap you.
ROD RODDENBERRY: I feel like I shouldn't look at your cards,
but I can't even tell by looking at them.
Oh, you've got a squiggly line and a straight line?
Yeah, nice.
WIL WHEATON: OK, I'm going to make a tight turn.
Yoink.
RYAN HIGA: This is the closest thing to a straight line, so
I'm going this way.
FREDDIE WONG: All right, I'm chugging along here.
WIL WHEATON: Wow, really?
FREDDIE WONG: Yeah, man.
WIL WHEATON: Man, look at you.
Look at you go.
FREDDIE WONG: I'm building my--
WIL WHEATON: You can only do that for so long.
FREDDIE WONG: Luckily I've been
drawing nothing but straights.
So I'm just going to be scooting along the far edge of
the table, where no one will come into my path.
So we'll see how long that lasts.
WIL WHEATON: Sounds like you're not in a very good--
ROD RODDENBERRY: No, I'm trying to
avoid green over here.
WIL WHEATON: That's what I'm hearing.
ROD RODDENBERRY: I don't know how much
longer I can avoid green.
WIL WHEATON: I think I'm going to play right here like this.
And I will go straight.
RYAN HIGA: Yes, I actually have
dragons working my fields.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, look at this, reversy swoop.
Nice.
FREDDIE WONG: Didn't expect that one.
That's cool.
Just chilling.
That's my card.
ROD RODDENBERRY: I'm getting out of here.
Taking this game really seriously right now.
I'm trying to plan like three moves ahead.
I think this game is based on skill.
Initially, I thought it was luck.
But you do have to look ahead and see where your
cards might put you.
So there's definitely some strategy in there.
WIL WHEATON: I think I'm going to do something crazy.
OK, hold on.
Let me look at this.
If I go that, then I come like that.
And then--
FREDDIE WONG: The possibilities could be a
straight line, could be a curved line here.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, wait a minute.
No, because then that's going to happen.
And I don't want that to happen.
That is not at all what I want to have happen.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Wil's strategy was phenomenal.
The way he'd talk through every aspect, every move, you
could hear his brain crunching through.
You could see the lines that he was following.
WIL WHEATON: All right, so I think I'm going to do this.
RYAN HIGA: I've never even seen that one before.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Playing the bad-ass here, aren't you?
WIL WHEATON: Well, look out, we got a bad-ass over here.
I'm feeling really good.
I think that I have a very good chance of winning this.
RYAN HIGA: I don't really know what I'm trying to do here, so
I'll just go this way.
ROD RODDENBERRY: That'd be messy.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Can you put multiple boards together?
WIL WHEATON: I guess you theoretically could.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Just take a half hour to get to--
WIL WHEATON: What's that about?
What are you doing?
FREDDIE WONG: Getting up in your grill, man.
Your dragon grill.
I think Ryan and I have a distinct advantage as we're
dealing with the Asian dragons here.
I feel like I have a legacy of heritage I can draw upon to
sort of guide my actions.
That's what I'm calling on, but who knows
if that will work.
We're more attuned to the movements.
ROD RODDENBERRY: I'm doing--
oh, I didn't mean to do yet.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, it's too late.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Oh, it's too late.
Oh!
Oh, God.
Look where you have to go.
RYAN HIGA: Actually--
WIL WHEATON: Oh, no.
ROD RODDENBERRY: There's no way out of there.
WIL WHEATON: Rod, you're screwed.
FREDDIE WONG: Oh, there is.
RYAN HIGA: No.
WIL WHEATON: No, you're screwed.
ROD RODDENBERRY: You know, you got to think a couple cards
ahead and I only thought one card ahead.
WIL WHEATON: OK, if I do this, then I go--
FREDDIE WONG: I think Wil's strategy is to intimidate.
Because I noticed he's taking a lot of time with planning
things out.
I'm more of a do things for no reason sort of guy.
So hopefully, this sort of randomness will throw a wrench
Into his well-planned gear works.
WIL WHEATON: OK, I don't know if this is the smartest move,
but I think it's going to be one of the
coolest looking moves.
So yeah, so I'm just going to go like this
and come out there.
All right, Ryan.
You're up.
RYAN HIGA: Right there.
I'm just trying to avoid you guys at this point.
WIL WHEATON: You're doing a very good job of it.
FREDDIE WONG: It would be a great element to throw that
in, where you could swoop down and eat a child.
RYAN HIGA: Dang, dude.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, why did you do that?
RYAN HIGA: Yes.
So you thought 30 moves ahead, but you neglected to think 31.
I need a card, actually.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Straight in.
I'm out.
I got to say, it doesn't feel good to go out first.
WIL WHEATON: Rod and I have known each other
for almost 30 years.
And this is the first time we've actually sat down to do
actual gaming together.
And I feel terrible that I'm like, hey, come, play on my
show, and my friend isn't winning.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, no.
Rod, I think I'm right behind you.
Think I'm right behind you.
And if I die on this, you are now my mortal enemy.
FREDDIE WONG: Oh, it's on.
WIL WHEATON: Absolute complete mortal enemy.
FREDDIE WONG: It's on like Donkey Kong.
WIL WHEATON: Hang on, I just got to see
if I can stay alive.
Not that way.
Not that way.
That way?
Oh, that way.
RYAN HIGA: Whoa, his voice got high.
WIL WHEATON: Remember when I said you were my mortal enemy?
FREDDIE WONG: Did you already defeat me?
WIL WHEATON: Guess what?
WIL WHEATON: Dang, dude.
FREDDIE WONG: Oh my goodness.
WIL WHEATON: Hang on.
Let's just fly around for a minute, OK?
FREDDIE WONG: No, the one card in the deck that could have
[INAUDIBLE].
WIL WHEATON: Oh.
FREDDIE WONG: How could [INAUDIBLE]?
WIL WHEATON: Knocking Freddie off the board right after I
declared him my mortal enemy, and then moving myself into a
better position than anyone else on the board?
Play of the game.
RYAN HIGA: See your strategies apply to people who know what
they're doing.
But I don't.
WIL WHEATON: No.
RYAN HIGA: All right, so it's just me and you, Wil.
So I guess you're going down now.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, things just got very interesting.
Very interesting, indeed.
Oh, no, that's less interesting.
OK, so I am going to do this.
RYAN HIGA: Ah, we're trying to outrun each other.
WIL WHEATON: Yep.
RYAN HIGA: OK.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Is it possible to fill the board
having not run into each other?
WIL WHEATON: It is, yeah.
I mean, it's unlikely.
Oh, boy.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Wait, where is that going?
WIL WHEATON: That will connect [INAUDIBLE].
FREDDIE WONG: The asterisk.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
Boy.
FREDDIE WONG: We could both flip the board,
though, if you want.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Right, just start all over?
FREDDIE WONG: Yeah.
WIL WHEATON: We always talk about how we would rage quit
the games we're playing in real life.
And they all end with flipping over the table.
FREDDIE WONG: You need to build a table that has
hydraulics.
WIL WHEATON: Son of a bitch.
You win.
You win.
RYAN HIGA: I [INAUDIBLE].
WIL WHEATON: I miscalculated.
No, you don't win.
RYAN HIGA: Oh, dang.
WIL WHEATON: Sorry.
RYAN HIGA: Oh, man.
OK.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Yeah, I was just going to say, he has got
nowhere after this.
RYAN HIGA: I think I can.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, no.
Can I get onto that?
No, I can't.
I think I'm screwed.
ROD RODDENBERRY: You got nowhere to go.
WIL WHEATON: I got nowhere to go.
FREDDIE WONG: Straight.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, you're right.
FREDDIE WONG: Straight into the blue.
The long way around, but that's a loss.
WIL WHEATON: You win.
FREDDIE WONG: Yay.
WIL WHEATON: Wow.
Good game.
RYAN HIGA: I ran away from all the dragons.
They happened to kill themselves, so I just lived,
and I ended up winning.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Can we change the name of the
show to Beat Wil?
Because it's feeling good, even though I didn't win.
I'm liking this.
FREDDIE WONG: I feel like in a way, we've all won.
RYAN HIGA: It helps our odds.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Exactly.
WIL WHEATON: I'm feeling good.
I think I'm coming back in Zombie Dice.
ROD RODDENBERRY: All right.
OK, let's do that.

WIL WHEATON: This is a press-your-luck dice game.
We are all zombies trying to fill our undead bellies with
delicious, delicious brains.
On every turn, we will draw three dice from the cup.
Each die represents a human survivor.
Or, as we call them, lunch.
We roll the dice.
We then keep all of the brains and all of the
shots to the face.
Now, we have a choice to make.
We can stop and score the brains, or we
can press our luck.
There's one special die.
It's this guy.
He's the runner.
If we choose to roll again, we have to include him in the
three dice total, because we haven't caught him yet.
You keep rolling until you are shot in the face three times
or you choose to stop and score all of the brains in
front of you.
The first player to score 13 or more brains wins.
Here's Zombie Dice.
Ryan, you won Tsuro, so you go first in Zombie Dice.
RYAN HIGA: Nice.
All right.

FREDDIE WONG: Finally, a game that doesn't
rely on other people.
RYAN HIGA: All right, just three right.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, drag three people out of the cup.
That's pretty good, couple of babies and a--
RYAN HIGA: Two brains and I will go again.
WIL WHEATON: Zombie Dice is awesome.
No one ever gets out to a huge lead.
Everybody's in the game all the way from the very
beginning all the way until the very end.
RYAN HIGA: So two more.
WIL WHEATON: Two more dice, yeah.

[GUNSHOT]
WIL WHEATON: That's two runners and a shot.
Oh, that's tough.
RYAN HIGA: I will--
wait, wait, wait.
FREDDIE WONG: Do it.
Do it.
RYAN HIGA: Yeah, the red one.
FREDDIE WONG: Do it.
RYAN HIGA: The red one gives you a higher change of getting
shot, right?

WIL WHEATON: You only have one shot.
Why aren't you going?
RYAN HIGA: So much pressure.
All right, I'm going to go in.
WIL WHEATON: I'm goading him into rolling more dice.
I can't believe he's going for it.
FREDDIE WONG: See.
WIL WHEATON: Three brains.
See, that was a good idea.
RYAN HIGA: Thanks, Freddie.
WIL WHEATON: OK, he's rolled a little more brains than I
would expect.
But the shots are coming.
The shots are coming.
So now you have--
RYAN HIGA: Actually, I'm going to stop.
WIL WHEATON: You have five brains.
RYAN HIGA: I'm going to stop.
So put this back, right?
WIL WHEATON: Keep going.
Keep going.
FREDDIE WONG: Yeah, you should continue.
So I'm telling him to continue rolling, but I know the odds
are with me.
RYAN HIGA: I mean, I'm listening to these guys and
they keep telling me to roll, so I'm going to keep rolling.
I don't care if the odds are against me.
Never say never.
3D.
You're right.
You're right.
FREDDIE WONG: Do it.
Do it.
WIL WHEATON: That's sort of even.
RYAN HIGA: Oh, look what happened.
WIL WHEATON: Seriously!
RYAN HIGA: I'm just really good at this.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Our strategy has been to encourage him to
keep rolling the die.
And he keeps doing it.
And he keeps getting brains.
And it's really not our intention for him
to succeed at this.
RYAN HIGA: If I get another red--
WIL WHEATON: Distribution of the dice, there's more greens
than anything else in the cup.
RYAN HIGA: Yes.
WIL WHEATON: And then it goes down and down.
RYAN HIGA: And I only have three greens.
WIL WHEATON: You have three greens out.
RYAN HIGA: So that means this next one is a green.
WIL WHEATON: Maybe it is.
Yeah.
ROD RODDENBERRY: You distract him [INAUDIBLE].
FREDDIE WONG: Oh, god.
Really?
RYAN HIGA: I'm going to get shot.
FREDDIE WONG: Walking.
WIL WHEATON: Three runners.
RYAN HIGA: So again, same thing?
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, you got to re-roll them again.
OK.
RYAN HIGA: Brain.
ROD RODDENBERRY: No you won't.
RYAN HIGA: Huh, what is that?
Oh, that's right.
I don't know what that is, because I haven't gotten shot.
ROD RODDENBERRY: I'm never going to get to play.
WIL WHEATON: Yep, there's one red left.
RYAN HIGA: And I'm going to take one green.
WIL WHEATON: OK.

[GUNSHOT]
RYAN HIGA: OK I'm going to stop.
I'm not going to be risky.
WIL WHEATON: Why are you going to stop now?
You're doing so well.
ROD RODDENBERRY: You'll break a record.
FREDDIE WONG: Continue doing what you're doing.
It's great.
RYAN HIGA: I mean, go big or go home, right?
ROD RODDENBERRY: Yeah, exactly.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, right.
RYAN HIGA: This one is going to be a green.
WIL WHEATON: Ryan should not be able to keep calling what
he's going to pull out of the cup.
And I'm watching his face.
He's not looking in the cup.
He's a witch.
FREDDIE WONG: This table's getting flipped.
RYAN HIGA: Brains.
WIL WHEATON: In order for this to statistically balance out
in the rest of the universe, an entire planet just
collapsed into a black hole.
That's amazing.
FREDDIE WONG: Yes.
WIL WHEATON: You were supposed to roll a shotgun.
I was not actually cheering for you.
RYAN HIGA: No, I know.
WIL WHEATON: I was goading you.
WIL WHEATON: All right, count up your brains.
One, two three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.
RYAN HIGA: 10.
WIL WHEATON: I'm going to reach into
the bucket of brains.
Oh my god, you have 10 brains?
One, two, three--
FREDDIE WONG: So Ryan had the most insane lucky
streak of all time.
But luckily we're dealing with a magic hands here.
And I think I can match it.
WIL WHEATON: Goes to Freddie.
I have never seen that happen.
What the [BLEEP].
FREDDIE WONG: Great, red, yellow.
All right.
WIL WHEATON: He was going to stop at two, and we talked him
into going.
[GUNSHOT]
FREDDIE WONG: Two brains.
Took a shot.
I'm good.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Anyone ever tell you not to play with your
brain at the table?
FREDDIE WONG: I'm going to continue here.
All right, that's not bad.
WIL WHEATON: Two more brains and a runner, a green runner.
OK.
ROD RODDENBERRY: He's catching up, I guess.
FREDDIE WONG: Two.
[GUNSHOT]
WIL WHEATON: Oh, shot in the face.
No brains.
FREDDIE WONG: These didn't work.
ROD RODDENBERRY: I'm up.

[GUNSHOT]
WIL WHEATON: Dang, a shot and two runners.
FREDDIE WONG: Shot and two runners.
ROD RODDENBERRY: What is this, guys?
The odds are back in my favor, technically.
RYAN HIGA: Well, I kind of used up all the rolls.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Oh, I got two--
[GUNSHOT]
ROD RODDENBERRY: --and a shot.
WIL WHEATON: I was putting them together so our camera
crew can see what you get there.
You got two shots and two greens.
RYAN HIGA: Just keep going.
I think that's the smart thing to do.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, it worked out really well for you.
ROD RODDENBERRY: No, no.
You know what?
WIL WHEATON: You're going to stop?
ROD RODDENBERRY: I'm stopping.
RYAN HIGA: That's two brains.
WIL WHEATON: I owe you two brains.
ROD RODDENBERRY: It's more than I need anyways.
2 down, 12 to go.
WIL WHEATON: If I made a reference to Merv Griffin
being the elevator killer, would any of you know what I
was talking about?
No?
Nobody?
The Man with Two Brains.
It is a reference to The Man with Two Brains.
It is a delightful Steve Martin movie.
All right, I got two yellows and a green.
[GUNSHOT]
RYAN HIGA: It's like hip now, though.
Keep doing it.
WIL WHEATON: OK, thanks.
Come on, greens.
[GUNSHOT]
WIL WHEATON: Seriously?
Two brains and a runner.
ROD RODDENBERRY: So what are you going to do?
WIL WHEATON: If he gets to 13, I still get another round no
matter what.
So I'm going to stop.
I'm going to stop with two.
RYAN HIGA: Just want to play safe.
WIL WHEATON: Sorry, that was very bad
sportsmanship on my part.
I insincerely apologize.
RYAN HIGA: I'm really confident that
these three are greens.
FREDDIE WONG: Oh my goodness.
WIL WHEATON: What the--
FREDDIE WONG: He's cheating.
WIL WHEATON: Ryan is cheating Ryan is using magic.
You're a witch, aren't you?
RYAN HIGA: Yeah, I'm a wizard.
FREDDIE WONG: He's cheating.
We need to get the games commission in here.
RYAN HIGA: OK.
[GUNSHOT]
RYAN HIGA: Two.
WIL WHEATON: That's 12.
That's 12.
You're one away from creating the end game.
FREDDIE WONG: Forcing a victory.
WIL WHEATON: Come on, shotgun, shotgun,
shotgun, shotgun, shotgun.
RYAN HIGA: One more brain, and I will do it again.
ROD RODDENBERRY: And two runners.
WIL WHEATON: If he doesn't get three shots
and he ends his turn--
RYAN HIGA: But I could end my turn.
WIL WHEATON: You can't end your turn because you took
dice out of the cup.
But you'll have-- at least, you'll have a
minimum of 13 brains.
Which begins the end game, which means each of us gets
one more turn.
ROD RODDENBERRY: It's so puny to my two brains.
WIL WHEATON: To get six-- hey, hey, hey.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Well, you know what?
WIL WHEATON: We got to stick together.
RYAN HIGA: This is not going to be two shotguns, so
I think it's over.
I think it's over guys, I'm sorry to say.
WIL WHEATON: 14.
RYAN HIGA: OK.
I'm done.
WIL WHEATON: This is bull [BEEP].
FREDDIE WONG: So I have one round to get 15 in
order to win this.
WIL WHEATON: 14 brains.
ROD RODDENBERRY: That's unbelievable.
WIL WHEATON: Wow.
FREDDIE WONG: All right, here we go.
[GUNSHOTS]
FREDDIE WONG: Shot twice already.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, god.
Shot on a green.
That's so rude.
RYAN HIGA: Love averages.
FREDDIE WONG: This is just--
WIL WHEATON: There's only shot on the greens.
FREDDIE WONG: I know.
RYAN HIGA: Just go for it.
FREDDIE WONG: This is what happens to me in Vegas.
I just go until I lose.
It's like--
[GUNSHOTS]
WIL WHEATON: Oh, no.
Overkill.
FREDDIE WONG: Just roll all of them.
WIL WHEATON: Is that your key?
That's your trick?
RYAN HIGA: Yeah.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, OK.
All right, that's not bad.
FREDDIE WONG: Good start.

[GUNSHOT]
ROD RODDENBERRY: One shot.
WIL WHEATON: One shot and two runners.
ROD RODDENBERRY: One shot and two runners.
Here we go.
Red one.
[GUNSHOTS]
FREDDIE WONG: I don't want to look.
Our last great hope here.
That's it.
It's over.
WIL WHEATON: Yeah.
Oh, boy.
FREDDIE WONG: Harsh, bro.
WIL WHEATON: All right.
ROD RODDENBERRY: It hurts.
FREDDIE WONG: Rod's been playing disappointingly.
I was hoping that he and I could sort of team up and like
gang up on these two punks.
But I'm getting shot out.
He's getting shot out.
This is just a horrible evening.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Look at that.
WIL WHEATON: Really?
Really?
FREDDIE WONG: He's mocking us.
WIL WHEATON: Really?
RYAN HIGA: I'm a happy zombie, what can I say?
ROD RODDENBERRY: Sorry, I normally don't throw my brains
at people, but--
WIL WHEATON: I got two yellows and a green.
FREDDIE WONG: Oh, that's not that good.
[GUNSHOT]
ROD RODDENBERRY: I never thought I'd say this, but I
hope Wil wins.
FREDDIE WONG: I got to agree with Rod.
Because the last thing in the world I want is Wil to win.
But I want Wil to win.
FREDDIE WONG: What are the odds, man?
What are the odds?
WIL WHEATON: The odds are [BLEEP].
Three brains.

ROD RODDENBERRY: All right, you're getting there.
WIL WHEATON: All right, come on.

FREDDIE WONG: Oh.
WIL WHEATON: Two brains.
RYAN HIGA: Getting nervous.
I'm sweating again.
WIL WHEATON: It comes down to you and me just like it did in
the last game?
This is ridiculous.
You're the best around.
Nothing's going to ever keep you down.
[GUNSHOTS]
WIL WHEATON: Ah!
RYAN HIGA: Ah.
FREDDIE WONG: Wow.
RYAN HIGA: I love it.
WIL WHEATON: You win Zombie Dice also.
RYAN HIGA: Let's do it again.
Let's do it again, guys.
WIL WHEATON: All right, the only chance we have to prevent
Ryan from winning--
FREDDIE WONG: Some sort of an alliance.
WIL WHEATON: --all three games and getting the trophy is to
somehow make him get bit four times.
So Get Bit's coming up next.

This is a bluffing game.
It was designed by my friend, Dave Chalker.
We are all robots out for a leisurely swim in
shark-infested waters.
Each turn, to figure out which one of us is swimming the
fastest, we will play a card from our hand numbered one
through five.
The fastest number goes to the front of the line and the
slowest number will go to the back of the line.
The robot who is closer to the shark gets bit.
Chomp!

We each have four limbs.
So if you are bitten four times, you become Achor Bot
9000 and spend the rest of your days on the
bottom of the sea.
Who will be the last robot swimming?
We're about to find out.
Let's get bit.
Ryan?
RYAN HIGA: Yes.
WIL WHEATON: You're going to go first.
RYAN HIGA: OK.
WIL WHEATON: Oh, and I guess we should probably tell the
kids at home what color we are.
I'm yellow.
RYAN HIGA: I'm green.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Blue.
FREDDIE WONG: Purple.
WIL WHEATON: All right, so now you know.
Finally, we are playing a game that involves skill,
psychology, and a little bit of game theory.
I've got this.
These are all skills that I used when
I was a poker player.
I have got this.
All right.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Oh.

WIL WHEATON: Hey, fun fact.
Rod is an accomplished SCUBA diver.
RYAN HIGA: Tah-dah.
WIL WHEATON: I love that the SCUBA flippers fell off the
wall right when I said that you're an
accomplished SCUBA diver.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Not very accomplished though, are we?
WIL WHEATON: Yeah, I guess we can just--
we'll reveal our cards.
RYAN HIGA: All right.
WIL WHEATON: OK.
ROD RODDENBERRY: You're in my way.
WIL WHEATON: Sorry.
FREDDIE WONG: Oh.
WIL WHEATON: All right, so the ones are not going to move.

All right, so I played a three.
So I'm in the front.
And Ryan played a two, so he's going to be second.
And then Freddie and Rod both played ones.
Now here comes the shark.
But first turn.
ROD RODDENBERRY: I got a freebie.
WIL WHEATON: First turns, the shark does not bite you.
But he gets--
ROD RODDENBERRY: I keep my limbs.
WIL WHEATON: He gets ever closer and menaces you.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Close enough to pet.
WIL WHEATON: Menace, menace, menace.
FREDDIE WONG: How do you survive a shark attack?
Because you're from Hawaii, so you would know this.
RYAN HIGA: Most sharks-- because I'm from Hawaii, I can
speak to them.
So you just give them this line
[SPEAKS MOCK HAWAIIAN]
Like that, with that voice, [SPEAKS MOCK HAWAIIAN]
ROD RODDENBERRY: I got it down.
I got it down.
FREDDIE WONG: Got you
WIL WHEATON: I don't know what that means.
WIL WHEATON: So let's see what happens now.
All right, I play a two.
Ryan plays a three.
Freddie plays a three, and Rod plays a four.
ROD RODDENBERRY: I'm going to live.
WIL WHEATON: An excellent idea.
So you are going to move up one.
You guys don't move at all.
And I actually move back.
So Freddie--
FREDDIE WONG: Can it take his head?
WIL WHEATON: Freddie gets bit.
FREDDIE WONG: It's OK, it's a robot.
He doesn't need the head.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Perfect.
FREDDIE WONG: There we go.
ROD RODDENBERRY: You're clearly not
from Hawaii, are you?
FREDDIE WONG: This is how it works.
RYAN HIGA: Poker faces.
I have a really good poker face.
Most people are just like this, all nonchalant.
Mine's like this.
Freddie can't read this.
Wil can't read this.
Rod doesn't even know what I'm doing.
WIL WHEATON: All right, I hope that I'm making
the right call here.
ROD RODDENBERRY: I know I'm making the right call.
RYAN HIGA: I am, too.
WIL WHEATON: I played a one.
Ryan played a five.
Freddie played a four.
And Rod played a three.
FREDDIE WONG: OK, so you go first up.
WIL WHEATON: So I go up first to one.
And then three goes.
And then four comes out of the shark's mouth.
And then five goes to the front.
FREDDIE WONG: Well, he doesn't have a head.
WIL WHEATON: The shark comes up and goes, I will
take your left arm!
Chomp, chomp, chomp.
And then he hangs off of me just sort of like that.
RYAN HIGA: I'm not really worried about Freddie or Rod
to be honest.
I am most worried about Wil, because I feel like he's
played this a lot before.
WIL WHEATON: Let's go ahead and reveal.
I play a four, Rod plays a five, Ryan plays one, Freddie
plays a five.
Oh, this works out exactly the way I hoped it would.
All right.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Not for me.
WIL WHEATON: Because you're the slowest, you would move
forward, but you're already in the front, so you just stay
right there.
Then, four is going to move up in front of you.
And then the fives aren't going to move at all.
Oh, noes.
And now blue loses your break dancing leg.
I know that a lot of robot activists might be a little
concerned about this, but these robots are specifically
programmed not to feel pain when
they're bitten by a shark.
RYAN HIGA: Poker face.
WIL WHEATON: OK, ready?
RYAN HIGA: I have no idea what's going on.
WIL WHEATON: Ryan plays a four, I play a three, Rod
plays a five, And Freddie plays a three.
So Freddie and I are not going to move.
ROD RODDENBERRY: And I'm not going to go.
WIL WHEATON: So the four moves up like this.
And then the five moves up like this.
And then the shark comes up like that.
And you get bit, Freddie.
ROD RODDENBERRY: What's it going to be?
FREDDIE WONG: I'm going to lose--
I'm going to do--
WIL WHEATON: You're going to get to theoretically keep--
FREDDIE WONG: The legs.
No, see because that's four now.
So I got two arms left.
WIL WHEATON: OK.
Remember guys, remember, Ryan is the enemy.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Yeah, that's right.
RYAN HIGA: My strategy was reading the
faces of the opponents.
No, it was really just to pick a number and then
see what they had.
And go based off that.
WIL WHEATON: All right, I'm locked in.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Here's my Ryan killer.

WIL WHEATON: You have a little bit of leeway when
you're in the front.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Are you sure you want to play that card?
RYAN HIGA: I'm positive.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Are you sure?
RYAN HIGA: Flip them.
WIL WHEATON: He sang a song to the shark.
I don't know why we're even bothering to play the game.
RYAN HIGA: Perfect.
WIL WHEATON: Ryan played a two.
Freddie played a two.
FREDDIE WONG: This is ridiculous.
He's totally used--
WIL WHEATON: Rod played a three, and I played a five.
So the twos aren't going to move at all.
The three is going to go to the front.
And then the five is going to go up--
FREDDIE WONG: Oh, wonderful.
I got my cards back.
Fantastic.
[INAUDIBLE].
WIL WHEATON: Oh, no.
You're really having a hard time.
ROD RODDENBERRY: You're not doing too well, my friend.
WIL WHEATON: There you go.
There's another limb for you.
FREDDIE WONG: Ryan is just locked onto me.
WIL WHEATON: Ryan is so deep into Freddie's head that
Freddie doesn't even know what state he is in.
I can either play the two or the one.
I'm just going to do you a solid and give you some--
ROD RODDENBERRY: All right, here we go.
WIL WHEATON: --extra information.
Ready?
FREDDIE WONG: You flip yours first.
Son of a--
[LAUGHTER]
FREDDIE WONG: That's such bollocks.
I think Ryan is like--
he's thinking my thoughts before I am.
It's like this total like I can't do anything without him
knowing about it.
It's really freaking me out.
WIL WHEATON: Ryan is just destroying him.
FREDDIE WONG: I hate you so much.
WILL WHEATON: One moves up.
Then two moves up.
The threes don't move.
And you are eaten.
You get bit.
Oh, sorry dude.
RYAN HIGA: Are you out?
FREDDIE WONG: Yeah, I'm out.
Thanks very much.
Oh my goodness.
RYAN HIGA: Like I said, I took out Freddie because I
can read his face.
His face is really easy to read.
You know I have a one and a four.
WILL WHEATON: I do know that.
RYAN HIGA: And we know that he played a two.
So I'm going to do this.
WILL WHEATON: I played a five.
One, and two,
RYAN HIGA: That's not good.
WILL WHEATON: OK.
Ryan played a one, so he moves first.
Rod plays a two, so he moves up ahead of Ryan.
And then I, with my super kicky rocket legs, go swimming
like a boss up to the front.
And I can't believe it.
You guys. you guys, you guys, look what's happening.
ROD RODDENBERRY: All right.
WILL WHEATON: Ryan got bit.
Ryan's victory train goes off the rails right here.
Go on, swim away from me.
Do it.
Do it now.
He's Arnold Sharksenneger.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Very nice.
Very, very nice.
Now, come on.
I'm taking this seriously.

WILL WHEATON: Oh, man.
ROD RODDENBERRY: That is good.
WILL WHEATON: Oh, this is what I--
ROD RODDENBERRY: That's perfect.
WILL WHEATON: All right, that works out well for me.
Ryan plays a five.
Rod and I both play fours.
So green's going to move up.
Blue and-- well, blue, you're swimming the wrong way.
You swimming right towards him.
Look.
No, he's swimming right towards him,
so you lose an arm.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Lose an arm.
WILL WHEATON: Chomp.
ROD RODDENBERRY: I keep getting my
limbs bit off by Wil.
He put me out.
Thanks.

FREDDIE WONG: Just getting a little preview
of what's to come.
WILL WHEATON: OK, ready?

RYAN HIGA: Are you kidding me?
That's awesome, guys.
That's great.
Good job.
WILL WHEATON: All right, so Rod and I played threes.
Ryan played a four.
So Ryan would move up, but he doesn't. and
then Rod gets bit.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Wil I kept matching cards.
And sadly, when you match cards, your guy doesn't move.
The shark just kept taking bite after bite after bite.
WILL WHEATON: OK.
RYAN HIGA: All right, let's see it.
WILL WHEATON: All right, this will surprise everyone.
ROD RODDENBERRY: What?

I'd like to change the name of this game to Bite Me.
I want to lose my limb appropriately.
Can we--
Got a good grip in this.
WILL WHEATON: Yep.
ROD RODDENBERRY: I'll just sink to the bottom.
WILL WHEATON: Yeah, that's all right.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Thanks.
The sharks are going to be chasing the guys above who are
surviving, and I'll just kind of hang out down there.
I have no arms, no legs.
Can't really move around.
But at least the fish will be my friends.
WILL WHEATON: In every one of these games, it has come down
to me and Ryan.
I'm tired of being the best loser.
It's time for me to win.
FREDDIE WONG: You guys need to go head to head here.
This is it.
WILL WHEATON: Yeah, but here's the thing.
It's the last round.
FREDDIE WONG: One hit.
WILL WHEATON: So it's one hit.
And I have one card.
RYAN HIGA: And I have two.
WILL WHEATON: You want to guess what it is?
Ryan has two cards.
RYAN HIGA: Seven.
FREDDIE WONG: There's a lot of pressure on this thing.
WILL WHEATON: It is mathematically impossible for
Ryan to lose this game.
OK, go ahead.
Play your card.
Play your card.
Sit in your tower.
RYAN HIGA: Which one?
WILL WHEATON: Sit in your tower.
WILL WHEATON: I play a one.
Ryan plays a one.
I don't move.
I get bit by the shark.
I die.
Not only do you win, but you win with three
freaking limbs intact.
RYAN HIGA: All in.
I don't think I knew what I was doing, to be honest.
Most of it was guessing.
WILL WHEATON: Oh, come on.
Ryan, you have earned a trip to the Victory Wall, which is
downstairs.
You will get your trophy.
Freddie and Rod--
FREDDIE WONG: I didn't know [INAUDIBLE].
WILL WHEATON: We are going to go--
ROD RODDENBERRY: You win a trip out the door.
FREDDIE WONG: We're leaving immediately.
WILL WHEATON: We are going to go--
FREDDIE WONG: Drink our sorrows away.
WILL WHEATON: Curse Ryan in the Loser's Lounge.
FREDDIE WONG: Oh, that was horrible.
ROD RODDENBERRY: All right.

I'll be a good sport and--
oh, yeah.
Yeah.
RYAN HIGA: All I need is myself, baby.
All I need is myself.
ROD RODDENBERRY: That's right.
I'm a big man.
WILL WHEATON: Guys.
FREDDIE WONG: Where were you, man?
I thought you were going to help us out.
WILL WHEATON: I had to set up a couple of things before I
came here to join you in the Awesome Lounge.
FREDDIE WONG: Right.
It's where cool people hangout.
ROD RODDENBERRY: They told me this was the loser's couch.
WILL WHEATON: Yeah, well we lied.
Because Ryan is downstairs in the "Winner's Wall." But this
is where the party's at.
Interns--
bourbon.
Let's go.
ROD RODDENBERRY: I'm in.
WILL WHEATON: Well, then I'm going to go downstairs, and
I'm going to take care of contractual obligations.
I will be right back.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Got it.
FREDDIE WONG: Sweet.
ROD RODDENBERRY: Thanks for letting us lose, buddy.
WILL WHEATON: Ryan, congratulations on your
increasingly improbable series of already statistically
improbable victories.
RYAN HIGA: I mean, yeah.
I like to attribute that to my skill.
But, you know.
WILL WHEATON: Well, attribute it to whatever you want to
attribute it to.
You kicked our asses.
So it is my pleasure now to present you with the Official
TableTop Trophy of Awesome.
Now, this trophy has been handcrafted at great expense.
This is not just some crappy cheerleading trophy that we
had our intern, Lindsay, buy off of eBay for $5.
Now I'm going to engrave your name on it.
RYAN HIGA: Oh, you're going to engrave it?
WILL WHEATON: This is something that you're going to
want to keep forever.
And let me tell you something else
special about this trophy.
Usually on TableTop when someone wins, we have to take
the trophy back because we don't have enough in the
budget to get more than one.
But you're going to get to keep this.
RYAN HIGA: Really?
WILL WHEATON: And I'm going to spend money out of my own
pocket to create an exact replica for the next episode.
RYAN HIGA: That must be a lot of money.
WILL WHEATON: It's a lot of money for something like this.
So Ryan, you have more than earned this.
RYAN HIGA: Thank you so much.
WILL WHEATON: Please, make a victory speech.
RYAN HIGA: I want to--
I mean, I couldn't have done this on my own.
Obviously, this is great.
I want to thank all my sponsors.
I want to thank my family and friends who have always
supported me.
And, of course, Will Smith.
He is the greatest actor.
I love him.
My inspiration.
Thank you, Will Smith.
Thank you so much.
Love it.
This is great.
WILL WHEATON: Well, congratulations.
And have a lovely day.
We will see you next time on TableTop.
RYAN HIGA: See you.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
WILL WHEATON: Fucking Will Smith.
Every goddamn time.
Sorry, guys.
All they had was top shelf.
Oh, come on.

Well, bourbon, I think you know what to do.

Really?
Crickets?
It's a little on the nose, don't you think?
[MUSIC PLAYING]