Ya es Hora de Sacar Tiempo Para Mi - ¡Oye! con Johanna Torres - Temporada 3 Episodio 6

In this episode of ¡Oye!
...the kids or our husband don't define us.
...she calls me and tells me "I'm wearing the I don't care vest. Let's go to the beach"
...you are both champions and you inspire me.
In This Episode: Finding "Me Time"
>> Johanna: Here with me are Claudia Morales, radio host and single woman in a new relationship,
and Betti Ortega, married executive and mother of one son.
>> Betti: He's 5 years old but he thinks he's 21. >> Johanna: I can imagine...
>> Johanna: For you Betti, since you are a mother and an executive
you have a very busy lifestyle, like all of us.
How do you make time for yourself?
>> Betti: I force myself to do it.
It's hard because there are always things that take priority,
but truth is, everything can wait.
But, the one that ends up waiting is always me.
It's very difficult.
>> Johanna: According to studies, making time for yourself when you're in a relationship
can sometimes be more important for the relationship than sex.
Do you agree with this?
>> Claudia: Definitively, I believe it.
>> Johanna: How do you balance this out on your new relationship?
>> Claudia: When Felipe and I first spoke about our relationship,
I told him we would be fine as long as he respects my freedom,
and now that we have spoken more in depth about it,
he tells me that he loved that,
because I played hard to get and I was a little distant,
and it was like if you are with me and you are not at the same time.
I believe as long as you make time for yourself you are going to feel good,
and you'll make others feel happy, and they will want to spend time with you.
That's very important.
>> Johanna: In your case, when you do what you just told me,
when you make that effort to make time for yourself
-- because you deserve it, and I'm sure you've earned it --
do you feel selfish or guilty?
>> Betti: I feel more guilty than selfish,
because I think I could be using this time to spend time with Miguel and play with him,
or even with my husband,
to watch football with him, which to me is a sacrifice.
>> Johanna: I think it is for a lot of women!
>> Betti: Yeah, but there's a balance there
because watching the game with them is something good,
but instead, I use that time for myself without feeling guilty.
>> Johanna: So you let him do what he likes and you make time for yourself.
>> Betti: And that completes us as people.
He has his own time for the things he wants to do,
and I do the things I want to do.
>> Johanna: I think that's an excellent tip.
It's very fitting, to allow them to do what makes them happy
and to use that time to do something we like too.
>> Claudia: I have two examples.
My sister gives her life, her blood, her oxygen for her daughters and her husband,
and when she doesn't do her usual thing, which is serving them,
she's the bad guy.
And on the other hand, I have a friend who calls me, she has two kids --
-- you know her, I'm not going to tell you who --
>> Johanna: I kind of have an idea ...
>> Claudia: She calls and tells me "I'm wearing the I don't care vest. Let's go to the beach"
So we go to the beach and when she comes back, they adore her.
She's the best mom in the world.
>> Johanna: That's my philosophy too.
>> Claudia: You said something important.
Let them miss you.
It's better to be missed than to be there too much.
>> Johanna: I think it's very interesting,
but I fail because, to me, it's very difficult to make that time for myself,
and I have the luck of being in a relationship where
my boyfriend is usually reminding me how important it is
to make time for myself and to disconnect.
Because you notice when you spend time and focus on your own things,
you are doing what relaxes you,
and when you reconnect with the rest of the world
they appreciate you more, right? >> Both: Of course
>> Johanna: So, in that transition between being a mom and an executive,
what are some of those pleasures that you think
if I had an entire weekend free, this is what I'd like to do?
>> Betti: The movies
I love going to the movies
>> Johanna: But do you go by yourself?
>> Betti: Of course! I have no problem going by myself,
or reading a book in silence and in peace
without anyone calling me, "mom, mom"
or, "I'm sorry to interrupt" even though they already have ...
I think it's also good to think that in life,
the kids, our husband, or our work don't define us.
We define our own lives.
>> Johanna: I think it's very important, like you are saying,
for us Latinas to learn how to break away with something
that has been going on for generations,
from great-grandmothers, grandmothers, mothers.
They spent their whole lives dedicated to their families,
and that was their pride,
but now we are learning how to be more dispensable to the people around us.
What are the things that your boyfriend has to give you space for?
>> Claudia: Well, he gave it to me last night.
He always calls me around 8 or 9PM,
and I told him, let's keep it short because I'm with a friend.
To me, that's it. The luxury of spending time with my friend,
because when I'm with my friends, I curse, I say bad words, we talk bad about men...
We talk about our things.
>> Johanna: The things we wouldn't say normally >> Betti: We get more spicy
>> Claudia: To me, that's very important, spending time with my friends.
>> Johanna: I want to invite Carlos to share with us a strawberry drink he made,
because this really deserves a toast.
>> Claudia: For example, if I'm with my boyfriend and Carlos passes by, I can't look at him,
but here I can look and say "He's hot!"
>> Johanna: Thank you Carlos, as always.
>> Johanna: You are both champions and you inspire me to make more time for myself.
Thanks a lot for doing that.
And may this episode be for you a letter of permission
to get a manicure, a pedicure, or a massage.
It's very important and you deserve it!
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Thanks, and see you next time.
Cheers! To us!