Ruth & Erica | Ep. 1 of 13 | Feat. Maura Tierney & Lois Smith | WIGS


Uploaded by wigs on 24.09.2012

Transcript:
Good Morning. Morning.
It's 40 degrees out.
I'm going running. Good morning.
I got you grapefruit, in the fruit drawer. Thank you.
Very expensive.
Would you like me to reimburse you?
No, that's not- I'm just saying.
Ugh, Jesus. What?
Jesus, Mom. I need to do some organizing in there.
I'll say. What are you doing?
Don't throw those away, I just bought those. Oh c'mon, Mom.
I'm going to use those. I'm going to cook with them. What are they?
Seriously, seriously. Identify the fruit and I'll put them back.
Nectarines? You're asking.
Nectarines. I'm making a statement. They're nectarines and they're my nectarines.
I think you should know. Your father is very upset with you about last night.
He is?
He said that? Yes.
He said- he said I- I am upset with Erica.
Yes, uh huh, do you blame him?
No. No, I don't. I understand. He has every right to be upset. It's upsetting.
But what I said to you when I made my reservation, I was perfectly fine with taking a cab from the airport and if you insisted on picking me up, I was going to do the driving.
Asking for his keys? "I don't feel safe."
Well you don't say that to a father, to your father. The man has kept you safe your whole life.
You know how that feels hearing that from you? The man has never had an accident.
Never even gotten a parking ticket. But he fell asleep at a stop sign.
Once. Oh I never should've told you that.
You've never gotten tired driving home from work?
You've never closed your eyes for a second waiting for the light to change?
Can't parallel park anymore.
Well, I can. I'm an excellent parallel parker.
So what? You do the parking? That's right.
So you arrive at your destination and then you make him get out in the middle of the street and you back the car up.
Yes. He doesn't find that humiliating?
No, Erica, he doesn't.
Because we are a team. He has his strengths. I have my strengths. He can merge, you can park.
And together we get around just fine.
What if somebody steps off the curb and he doesn't see them?
Do you have a handle on that too, Mom?
Because I'll tell you, no matter how loudly or how quickly you scream, it's still his foot on the brake.
You want to wait until something like that happens? You want to wait until he hurts someone or kills someone or the court tells us we're all negligent for looking the other way?
Because we didn't want to hurt his feelings? Something is going to happen.
Stop saying that. It is.
I want you to be prepared.
For this you came all the way from San Diego to be the voice of gloom and doom and to hurt your father's feelings.
We are fine and we are managing and despite what you think we are not leaving a trail of death and destruction..
...in our wake. No one eats at our house that they leave with Botchulism.
We are not mowing people down with our car and we know how to leave a tip.
You didn't go back because you left your glasses.
You tipped that girl. Dad left $6 on a $74 check.
You embarrassed him. There's no way he could've seen me. He was half way to the car before I went back.
I told him.
You told him? Of course.
Your father was a very successful business man, Erica. He knows how to calculate 15%. 20%.
Mom, 20% is standard nowadays.
Well, I don't know what to tell you.
Your father is very, very upset with you.
Morning.
Hi, honey.
Hi. How'd you sleep?
Good.
I saw you wedged a bathmat under the door.
Is it still rattling? Maybe she's smoking in there.
I'm not smoking. You say.
I was in eleventh grade.
If I was smoking, you would smell it on me. Why would I be jogging if I was smoking?
I don't know. Guilt?
Yes the door still rattles but the bathmat works fine, don't worry about it.
I'm going to fix it. Hardware store probably has something. I'm going to make a run down there after breakfast.
I'll go with you. Ok.
I'll drive.
Sweet girl.