DooM 3 - Marine's Journey - Episode 10

Oh man, I'm feelin' kinda whoozy.
Are those spiders poisonous?
I hear nothin' but my heart beating. Is that normal?
Is that bite in the ass gonna lead me to my death?
What the fuck?

I don't feel good, vision is blurred, it's hot,
And I don't even know who the hell I blew up!
But I know you!
Did I just bang my allies?
Can't make out the faces, nor the weapons.
Man, this is the exact opposite of what Peter Parker went through when he got powers!
His vision got better and mine's like shit!
If I can't see, then I'll just keep blowing shit up! No use for aiming!
Oh! Now I can see! That's good then.
Why does this gun feel different? And what gun was that douchebag shooting?
Looks like my pistol.
I should test it!
Well what'dya know?!
Woah! Burst mode, or something? It blew off a whole clip in one shot!
It looks exactly like my gun, how come mine doesn't have burst mode?
"Here, marine! We honor you possession of this squirt gun while most of us get the magnum pistol!"
This one has it too. I always thought it was the safety switch! Li'l cocksuckers!
Um. Hmm. My spidey sense is tingling. I think I'll go this way.
Regardless, it didn't wanna go either way. But what other--Ah! Here we go!
Oh, shit!
Damn. I did not want to experiment burst mode with a leg shot. I need a direct hit.
That was the wrong maggot to take this Enforcer's virginity.
Are you fuckin' creepy crawlers gonna pop out at me?
Is it me or is it really just hot here?
Aw man. Blocked access. Can't read through the steam.
Maybe broken pipelines or overheated engines? Or what the bitch said; I'm breathin' toxins.
I don't know but I'm gonna go this way now.
This hallway looks more suspicious than the last!
All right! Round 2! Not again! Enough of the legs, already!
You guys are really coming out of your shells now, aren't ya?
There's packs of you but you just die too easily.
And then there's a soul survivor!
Talk about your first two experiences of penetration resulting in projectile dysfunctions!
Looks like no more.
Jeez. Now I need another access card.
Well, hey! Third time's a charm! Right?
Wow, is it getting brighter?! I didn't notice that door before.
All right, well I think I have my answer to the heat and steam issue.
And I'll take that.
Okay, so I haven't seen a card around...
And I see a couple of bodies--God forbid I even wanna know why those numbnuts are in there.
But it could be in there.
Let's see... down. Left. Back.
A bit more. All right.
This is kinda like operating a crane.
Except I'm not hovering large boulders over buildings and smashing them to the ground.
No. This is more relevant to playing one of those candy claws at a pizza place.
Except what I grab and drop in here is not the sweet shit I'd wanna put in my mouth as a reward.
And I almost just walked right in there! Man.
If I did, I doubt I'd get the same result as that dude who turned into the Hulk.
I don't think they know I'm in here.
They seriously need to work on their tactical methods.
I guess they haven't learned that the radio chattering is the ultimate giveaway of their positions.
For me, it sounds like, "Hey! I know I'm your enemy, but I'm too doopid to hide behind this box on your left without telling you!"
Or maybe they think I'm actually deaf. Those douchebags.
Thinking of that would turn me into the Hulk and I'd go all berserk.
It'd probably be so bad that all of hell AND reinforcements from Earth team up to take me down.
But then again, I wouldn't wanna be the Hulk. Controlling my anger and adrenaline to keep my heart rate normal is pretty tough.
I'd be one of those bastards who's havin' a hard time takin' a satanic shit in the bathroom
While thinking of the most aggravating thoughts and then burst into the green monstrosity
And whatever I put into the toilet jolts out like a fuckin' torpedo and the bathroom is out of commission for a few weeks!
All right! Aw man!
Boo!
All right! Burst mode was a success!
Will you stop wasting ammunition?! I'll show you how it's done in one shot!
My reflex was a little slow that time but I got away with a chip on my armor.
I'm lovin' this trick, though! It's like a miniature shotgun
Without the pellets scattering all over.
There's my replacement. Let's go find my access card!
Any spiders? No?
And a medkit station. Can't see shit, like usual.
Let's see, spider-man, the Hulk; what superhero would I want to be?
They all come with their strengths and flaws.
Obviously not the Hulk. I've already convinced myself that.
Spider-man...too geeky, whimpy, and red-heads turn me off.
Batman? I'd prefer to SLEEP at nights, not fighting crime. Plus he NEVER gets laid!
Superman? Well, jeez. The man of steel! But, how--how does that work?
If bullets, meteors, fire, or anything can't harm superman...
How can he feel pleasure in bed? I mean, shit dude! Fuck that!
No wonder he flew back to Krypton!
Ironman? I don't need a fuckin' solid crystalline stickin' outta my chest attached to my heart!
X'men? Nah. Don't wanna be rejected by the world.
Captain America? I risk being bombed by terrorists 24/7.
The Flash? Gayest costume ever!
Daredevil? I prefer to be able to SEE, thank you very much.
And can't choose any heroines 'cause they're merely reflections of all male heroes.
You know, I wanna be the hero with the ability to teleport ANYWHERE! That's the most extreme, awesome power!
Now what's this?
Ugh. This is gonna be boring. Oh, what?
Hmm. Equipment, and buttons...
No, wait. Buttons first!
Oh shit! Oh shit! Oh shit!
Bahahah! Yeah! I'm unstoppable!
What do I need ammo belts for?
All right! One, two, three!
Let's get my shit and get outta here!
Aw! This sucks!
I was hopin' for a whole new kinda weapon. Something those ammo belts could be used for.
Maybe there's a gattling gun sitting around somewhere.
Hey, yo! Oh!
Ooh!! This is sweet stuff! But I shouldn't stay out in the open. Or by these explosives.
Come on! Man! Talk about a one-shot-kill if I hit the target right!
Fly, little birdie!
I don't think that worked. Oops!
Fourth down!
Did I get'em?
Nice! Fifth down! This place is crawling with them MGB numbskulls, isn't it?
It's actually more like... what? 300th down? I'm pretty curious to know how many of everything I exterminated till this point.
I'm sure there's a security room full of recorded videos. Well, if there're surveillance cameras everywhere.
Any spiders?
Scan the card. Access granted!
Ah! Ah! Saw you! And you! That's so annoying.
Peek-a-boo! I see you!
Sounds cleared now. Yeah, hallway looks cleared and there's a door up the stairs.
And computers! And a teleporting rat!
And another spider ambush!
Crap! Stay back! Is that all of'em?
I'm not willing to take another bite from them!
Is this cabinet the same code as the last? One, two, three?
Somebody there? 'Kay. Just makin' sure.
Let's reload a bit. Man, I kinda left a mess here.
What if I went down there instead of up the stairs? Maybe I could surprise them, too?
They're probably up there just waiting for me with another ambush,
But I don't think they'd expect me to pop out of the vents and ambush them!
It's worth a shot.
Or I guess not. At least there's more goodies.
I thought I was being creative this time.
It's moments like this I could really use that teleporting technique
But no! I gotta be the dark crusader and give up my bedtime to slap some bitch-asses off the streets!