THE JOY OF LIVING (1961) [Eng subs]

Uploaded by Dano16 on 05.07.2012

I speak to you in the name of the Fatherland,
in the name of our martyrs,
of our glorious nation!
Our homeland!
Rome, the city of St. Peter!
And thousands more!
Hurry up, disembark!
We don't want anyone left behind!
Be sure to take everything!
Come, on, move! Silence!
No pushing!
You two, always last!
Can you imagine, on the train...
a beautiful woman, tinted windows, a bunk?
Wouldn't you make that trip?
I'd go from Turin to Rome, 16 hours!
From Palermo to Turín, 44 hours!
What's going on?
Everyone to the walkway. One, two, one, two...
One, two...
One, two! Quickly!

No fear! One, two!
One, two, one, two...
I have a group pass for twelve.

One, two...
Who are those people?
- Here are the recruits. - What?
- The recruits! - See the leader of the guards.
I've brought the recruits.

Lieutenant, the others!
These are my boys... orphans.
Orphans? Good!
- Come on, boys! - One moment.
Boys, the moment has arrived.
- I... - Come on, come on!
You're free!

- Good bye. - The train leaves in an hour.
We'll see you at the station.
- Have you seen the Captain? - Who?
The Captain!

Captain, have you considered us?
Ah, you're the two who don't want to go back home.

And are going to Rome to look for work.
We thought that with your connections...
If I had connections, I wouldn't be in the army!
You're men now...
figure it out for yourselves!
You're free! Good luck.
I'm going to the station.
Sleep. Tomorrow, we'll find work.
You've said the same thing for three nights!
- Sleep! - With this hunger and those cats?
- How about we eat one of the cats? - Don't talk nonsense!
- How would we cook it? - I don't know!
What have we come to? Eating cats!
When you hit bottom, you eat cats,
so not to do harm to the others.
Others? What are you talking about?
Nothing. Good night!
Good night!
We don't know who they are, what they're about!
All that matters is they pay 150 lire base pay,
plus wages and expenses!
This could be a career!
A career?
- What do we do? - You see what's coming?
- Good morning. - Good morning.
Two sandwiches!
- How do you want yours? - Big!
- Yeah, but with what? - Whatever they have!
You're a free man! You should choose, decide!
- Salami. - How original!
One with salami... the other
with ham, mozzarella, anchovies and peppers!
That's the sandwich of a free man!
And two beers to the table.
- That guy spoke well. - Which, the big-headed one?
Yes, a stern look, clear eyes.
That was a glass eye.
- No way! - Yes! The left one.
What are we supposed to do
with that list of printers?
- You didn't learn anything! - I saw the 150 lire
and haven't noticed anything else.
This is a list of all the printers in Rome,
we're supposed to figure out who printed this.
"Our strength lies in our martyrs,"
say the Black Shirts. "Romans, let's help them!
We'll hang them with their own guts!"
Damn, we're the martyrs! And the Romans?
Forty-two...? What's the plan?
We'll go to each one and ask,
"Excuse me, did you print this?"
No, all we have to do is find the one with the defective "R".
Look, all of them! A broken leg.
It's not easy.
You have a pencil?
- Half of them each. - Okay.
Waiter, have you a map of Rome?
Fossati Printers?
- Fossati? - Yes.
- Fossati. - Fossati.
Young man, what do you want?
- Mr. Olinto Fossati? - Yes, what do you want?
Some pamphlets for the agricultural cooperative,
Paludi Pontine.
"Agriculturalists, ploughing the earth with oxen will reap ruin!
Buy large tractors with modern agricultural motors."
R, r, r.
"Buy the tractors through our organization.
The President: Ferruccio Carrara." Carrara.
50 thousand copies, and a sample now.
50 thousand?
We throw them from an airplane
on all the big cities.
Well, I'll be a son of a...!
One minute!
R, r, r... Carrara!
It's working!
But what...?
- How did you do it? - I think I hit something...
Now, I can accept your order!
Let's get on it, boys!
- We don't have time, Papa! - He's right.
True, dammit!
With this problem, we've fallen three days behind.
We'll need ten arms, instead of eight.
- At least the sample? - No.
All right.
- Your paper. - Thank you.
- Your screws. - Thank you.
Heh, how odd!
Do you think that...?
- No, it's not that. - No?
- You'll need some tools. - Yes, of course!
- Oh, no! - You're still there?
- You should be ashamed! - Yes!
Room and board?
- Room and board? - Yes, and 13 lire per month.
You shouldn't, Papa. He's got a job!
Just think, for Paludi Pontine.
Don't worry about them, they're a bunch of thieves!
Fine, if you say so.
- Do you know the trade? - No.
Then, I'll show you.
Here are the accommodations. The bed. Okay?
You're not superstitious?
- No. - Not afraid of the number 13?
- 13? - Lire.
The only thing that brings me bad luck is the number 13.
Fine, next time I'll ask for 14.
- Rosa! - Yes?
Put another plate on the table!
All right!
Now, that I've stolen his employee,
best not to think of that order.
Don't worry, they weren't going to pay you anyway.
- Good evening. - This is Ulysses, the apprentice.
There's no dirtier trade!
- There. - Hello.
This is Franca, the youngest.
I only had molds for boys, but there was a fault in the press.
This is Ulysses, the new apprentice. Have a seat!
- What's wrong with you? - Nothing!
Did something happen at school?
What would you want to happen?
She's testing your good humor!
- Imbecile! - Airplane, leave her be.
- Airplane? - Yes, Airplane.
Because you were in the air force?
I can't stand impositions
and I've rebelled on names.
Since I'm in favor of progress,
I named him Airplane.
I'm for the union of man: Universe.
I fight for liberty: Massacre,
alluding to the martyrs that died for liberty.
Put more.
And I've already explained,
your name is Ulysses, that's for something.
At least it's not the name of a saint!
That's enough for me.
It's not enough, a man has a right to everything!
Eat, eat!
Thank you.
And your daughter?
Is it just Franca, or did you add Locomotive?
Her name isn't Franca, it's Francacontee
Franchecontée, a French province,
the first to be conquered by the Independents.
In what year? Shush, you!
- You don't know? - No.
- Eat, eat. - Thank you.
- Have some. - No, I don't want cheese.
How can you eat spaghetti without cheese?
Aren't you hungry?
- No, ma'am. - You're not hungry?
but it's not that.
It's that I'm happy here.
Very happy.
Did you show the letter to your father?
What letter?
It had to happen.
They're afraid of a girl!
I'm not a girl!
This is the proof!
I'm happy about it!
Better than leaving her home, alone all day.
Do you mind?
Will you let me read it?
Now, I'll need a suitcase.
- No doubt! - The sales started yesterday!
- Okay, understood! - Lower it!
Who's that?
My new apprentice.
Clearly you need a helper, lazy!
That's my father.
He lives...
up there?
Yes, for the last 14 years.
He never comes down, even to eat?
No, he prefers being alone. Besides, there's no stairs.
- Is there any fish? - Yes, don't worry!
- Fish? - It's his new thing.
Beef on Fridays wasn't enough.
Now, he wants fish on Thursdays!
To drive the doctors crazy!
- You can't stand fish! - Worse for me then!
How he laughs, the cretin!
Pay no mind, he's a little...
- I saw that! - Who gave him nuts?
You little numbskull!
If there's a fool in this house,
it's not me! I'm the liberated one you look up to.
Inhabitants of the sewer, repugnant worms!!
where's the wine?
The doctor said you can't have any!
It's obedience that makes me sick, not wine!
Bon apetit!
Later, Grandfather, I'll come up to wish you good night.
No, I don't want you to!
- What should we do, check him? - Quiet, or he'll hear!
He's nervous tonight. I don't know what's gotten into him.
I don't think we should wait any longer.
Can you give us a hand?
- Sure. - Careful you don't fall.
Who is it? I'm not home!
- I'm not here for anybody! - But it's me, Franca!
Not for you, either!
You said I should come up!
- Me? - You don't remember?
I asked you, "Should I come up?" and you said "Yes".
I said you should?
Now, I say... "No"!
Tell him you brought wine.
- No. - Yes!
- I don't want to. - Go on!
Leave it to me!
Grandfather, are you asleep?
Me? I never sleep!
I know that to you time doesn't matter, but...
it's been more than six weeks!
Help! Cannibals!
Out! Get out, cowards!
- Take it easy. - What do you have against filth?
- It's part of nature! - So is water!
Don't get near me! Don't you dare!
Excuse me, this is narrow!
- Move that arm! - I was going to fall.
Then, fall. What do I care?!
- Hey, can you come? - Yes.
- Leave me, I'm a free man! - Free from what?
- From being filthy? - If I want to be filthy, so what?
- Give me that. - Out, or I'll throw it!
Stop! Throw that outside...
- What's that? - His bomb.
- A bomb?! - Don't worry, it's missing the fuse.
But if it falls on your foot...
Come out of there!
- You have it? - You want to wash my feet?
No! Not the feet!
- The pants... - There, over there...
- It's boiling! - Take this.
Leave me! Leave me!
Not the socks!
- What are you doing? - Easy, or I'll cut you.
We need an electric shaver
- Help! - Easy!
Give me a piece of paper.
Be still a moment!
"LONG LIVE LIBERTY!" Don't you feel better clean?
Careful, I've got delicate skin!
Friends, starting today we are one more.
I'll let you hear from Olinto Fossati.
Yes, friends, my daughter, our little Franca,
has turned 18 years of age, and is considered by political
policies to be an adult
and, as such, catalogued as a subversive element,
socially dangerous, of the third grade.
- Wonderful! - What a proud father!
From now on, if need be,
she'll go to jail with the rest of us!
Long live Franca! Cheers!
To celebrate this event,
our young Franca has given us this flag,
which she made herself!
It's precious!
A delicate job.
How did she do it?
It's Franca's secret. Look at the edging.
- Black over black. - Beautiful!
- But how will it be seen? - It's Franca's idea.
- It won't be seen, only be. - Of course!
- How did she do it? - I can show you the point.
- We should fly it at the station! - Even higher!
On the Dome over Rome!
To celebrate our arrival!
We shall do it,
and the flag of peace will fly high!
Ours, the real peace,
will never be an armed peace!
Bravo, bravo!
Which of us will go put it up?
Some news which has not been officially confirmed.
It looks like they're coming to Rome in a few days...
...some partners charged with an important mission.
I don't know their names, nor from which country they'll come.
I only know that these friends
count on us to lodge them, hide them,
and help them in all ways with their difficult job.
I've told them we're prepared.
Open up!
We're closed!
- We need a kilo of salami! - We need some pork sausage!
Open up!
Get out of here!
Long live the king! Long live the Saboya Dynasty!
Cowards! Urchins!
Oh, God! What are you doing here?
- Don't bother explaining! - It's not what you think!
Leave me alone! Help!
- I promise you! - Let me be! Help!
- There she is! - What did they do to you?
- Who was it? - These two.
And him?
- Why did you scream? - Let's go!
We're wasting time!
You didn't bring down Mother? Always the same! Margarita!
She still doesn't come. She's disappeared!
- Where were you? - One moment, Peppino...
An hour waiting on you!
Don't get angry, please!
The coast's clear. The spies have left, dressed for Sunday.
For the barbarians, it's Monday!
Come on, boys, to work!
Oh, Professor!
Franca, we need it now.
Did you know they've read our newsletter in Bucharest?
I've always said we need to be in touch with the foreigners.
Has your daughter finished the drawing?
She's almost done. She's finishing the coloring.
What are you doing here?
I told you, Mondays we're off.
Yes, but it's no good having Mondays off.
Well, you'll have to get used to it.
Now, leave us in peace.
May I do something at the house?
I'll shine the floors, if you let me.
Whatever you want, but go.
Excuse me.
Who is that boy?
My new apprentice.
Is he reliable?
Yes, sure.
What shall we put on page one?
The visit of the generals?
What do you think, Professor?
Am I bothering you?
- What do you want? - I'm going to clean the floor.
It's already clean!
No, there's a button here!
What are you doing on all fours?
Since day one you've treated me like a dog!
You can't deny I had my reasons!
Because of the grate... but you treat me like a dog
because I'm the apprentice, and you're the boss's daughter.
I thought anarchists didn't recognize social differences.
Not like monarchists, like you!
Weren't you with those that attacked us the other night?
No, I was with you.
Well, it's just that...
"Well, it's just that..."
If you were with us,
who told you to come? If not, what were you doing there?
I can explain.
I was taking a walk and, all of a sudden, I heard a noise.
- You think I believe that? - No, I don't think so.
Then, confess!
What do you mean, confess?
How am I to defend myself, if I've done nothing wrong?
You want the truth?
I came to defend you, the dangerous subversive element!
Do you believe that?
- Not that, either? - No!
If you think I'm a spy,
why don't you expose me?
I wanted to see for myself.
I don't believe that.
It's because you're afraid they'll get rid of me.
You want to tell me for whom you work?
What do you mean? For me!
Or the cooperative of Paludi Pontine?
It doesn't even exist!
She knows...
What do you want?
I'm looking for Mr. Fossati.
- We're closed. - Too bad, it's 50 thousand copies.
- 50 thousand? - Yes.
Who's ordering it?
The argricultural cooperative of Paludi Pontine.
Leave it to me. I'll tell your father!
- What are you doing here? - And you?
I don't have time to explain. Beat it!
Wait a minute! We both signed on together.
I'm tired of telling lies and doing your job!
What job?
The pamphlets! Have you forgotten?
They don't print them here. Now, go!
And the 150 lire you got?
So, I'm overdrawn 150 lire. Scram!
What's this all about?
You know, you were right...
Monday's the ideal day to take off. Excuse me!
What did I tell you? Don't worry.
He won't be back.
Who is it?
- No! - It's me, the apprentice.
Get out! Did they send you to clean me up again?
I've brought you something.
Is it useful or comfortable?
I've no use for useful things!
It's very comfortable!
How? An umbrella is useful,
a parasol is comfortable.
A handkerchief is useful, but a finger is comfortable.
- No! - What's the matter?
No, I see! They've sent you to give me an enema!
I told you it was comfortable!
- But it's a rubber tube. - Exactly!
Pay attention.
Here, drink, suck, suck.
Suck a bit harder.
Okay. That's good.
Not too much. Enough.
It occured to me when they wouldn't let you have wine.
What's your name?
- Ulysses. - Ulysses, you're a friend!
So, I said to myself, every day I'll put wine
- under the trapdoor. - Good idea!
Unfortunately, I couldn't.
Let me have another go!
Mr. Fossati wants to kick me out.
How dare he!
And Franca's grown to dislike me.
I'll take care of her.
It's no use.
When I arrived, I told lies to get hired.
They'll fire me.
You have to come up with something!
I have a plan...
but I'll need your help.
I heard the central committee of the anarchist movement
wants to send dedicated, tough, authentic activists
- to Rome. - I've heard that, too.
Imagine that one of those important people
was introduced here pretending to be an apprentice.
What a good idea!
Everything will be fine!
You, a secret envoy.
You told me to keep quiet,
but you know how the elderly like to gossip.
So, don't worry, tomorrow they'll know everything.
And you'll stay here.
But you'll need to see me
- with the tube! - Of course!
In order to pass as an anarchist,
you'll need to know some things. What do you know?
What is liberty?
Liberty is...
Not going to jail.
You haven't a clue!
Let's see!
Birth of Bakunin?
- Sportok, 1814. - Death?
1872, in Berna.
- When did he come to Italy? - In 1861.
And when did I meet him?
That's not in the book.
It was at the station in Naples,
on the 9th of June.
He asked me, "When does the train to Salerno leave?"
and I said, "I don't know, ask the train conductor".
Later, I found out it was Bakunin.
You're a good student.
I was always at the top at the orphanage.
Do you believe...
in the existence of God?
Eh... Yes.
Ah, that's rich!
Why, should I not?
It'd be better not to. Have you a reason to believe?
Yes, well, the world, nature...
You think creation's well designed?
It's not so bad.
And the orange, it's a refreshing fruit,
but it only grows in the winter when nobody's hot!
You think that's well designed?
And the calves?
We always get hit on this part,
on the front, but the calves are in the back!
What good do they do back there?
You think that's good?
Not the calves either, but...
They're things that everyone should see for themselves.
It's almost daylight.
You know how to sing?
Do you know how to sing?
Death! To the bombs and the daggers!
Death to them! We'll mince them!
And we want liberty,
and we want liberty!
We'll tell them you come from Spain.
So, review everything that happened there.
Here you go: Barcelona,
San Sebastian...
What an explosion!
I've got it!
Your battle name! You'll be called...
"The Cemetery".
I'll be Cemetery!
He's called "Ce-me-te-ry"
- Yes! - No!
It's unbelievable!
Did he have a letter of credentials?
With the seal of Barcelona.
Do you have it with you?
He ate it in front of me. Those were his orders.
Well, if he ate it...
I saw it!
Pay attention, he's coming.
- Good morning. - Good morning.
Good morning.
Excuse me for being late, I didn't sleep much last night.
- Sit, sit! - You have insomnia?
- No, I thought... - Give him a plate.
Thank you.
Two, please.
Sit down, man, eat in peace!
I can't, I have to put away type.
- I'll go, don't worry. - No, no need.
- I'll be out for a few hours. - At least a little something.
- Very nice of you. - You're welcome.
Excuse me, ma'am!
- It's okay! - No.
He seems a bit young.
Vaserio was in at 20!
Hide over there!
- Olinto Fossati? - That's me.
- Will you excuse me? - Yes, yes.
- Why didn't you come earlier? - I didn't have the uniform yet.
This is the last time I do you a favor like this!
How can I help you?
we're making an investigation.
- You know? - Yes.
He appears harmless, but in reality he's trouble.
His most-used pseudonym, "The Cemetery".
Good, because anyone protecting him
will answer to us!
You've been advised!
It's Cemetery!
We know.
Weren't you scared?
And you?
Do you suffer from vertigo?
Too bad Grandpa isn't here to see this!
He sees it. He asked for the telescope.
Like the good old days!
No doubt, he's important!
I don't know. Let's change the discussion.
Then, go! Get going!
You signed up at the same time, yes or no?
Yes, but I...
There are two types of people we can't stand:
and those that protect them.
I understand, but don't see how I'm to blame.
Blame or not, I'm warning you, this whole story
could cost you dearly.
I order you to tell me everything you know!
I know a place
where they're hiding dangerous anarchists.
Yes, my friend told me.
Why didn't you tell me before?
I was waiting...
Waiting for what?
For them to threaten you?
Perhaps. I like threats.
- Here, have some. - Thank you.
- To your health! - Don't overdo, take it easy.
- Cemetery! - Yes?
What have you planned for tomorrow?
Yes, you were sent to get the generals, no?
What generals?
You didn't come from Spain just to fly a flag, did you?
Here... French, British, Italian and American.
That's what you thought? No, it's not that at all!
Yes, the generals! You came to do away with all four!
- Are you crazy? - What do you mean crazy?
You told me, that's what you said!
It's not true! It's not true!
and even if it were, in this condition...
- You'll be better tomorrow. - Rosa has a miraculous ointment.
- Yes, you'll see. - No, don't insist.
- You don't have to trust us. - It's not a question of trust.
Then, what?
Very well...
if I tell you more,
- that means you'll assist me. - Yes.
Given that the bombs are stored underground,
it should be easier than flying a flag.
- Do you have a map of Rome? - Yes.
- And a pencil. - There, in the box.
You'll arrive at the station.
From there, the rest will go on the National Highway...
Spanish Plaza, Corso Umberto,
Popolo Plaza...
Let's see...
The first bomb here...
another here...
and another... here.
- To start. - Isn't that the Ravasholl method?
Ravasholl was an amateur!
On March 11, in 1882, Ravasholl made a huge mistake!
Whereas the bombs we launch...
- We? - We?
What do you mean, "We"?
You wanted to know...
- Yes... - And you wanted to help me?
- Of course! - Always with your curiosity!
What good did it do you?
- Take it easy, Rosa. - Okay.
Finally, a car bomb there, and that's four
plus two,
six. It's not enough.
Um, Cemetery...
sorry to say, but tomorrow
we won't be there.
- Why not? - No, no. We'll be in jail.
Yes, in jail, unfortunately.
After the attack, it's possible.
- No, not after. Before! - No, no, before.
Every time something happens in Rome,
like the visit of those generals,
the police come to detain us. That's it!
Yes, we're dangerous.
They keep us for a few days and then, when it's over, release us.
- Yes, they release us. - You? The Fossatis?
Yes, us...
and everyone else in the group. Four or five times a year.
Sometimes more.
This year we had Christian of Denmark,
Constantine from Greece,
the king of Bulgaria, and Prince Hirohito from Japan.
Our bags are at the door, always ready,
because at any moment...
You're expecting the police, and didn't tell me?
- I... - Where shall I hide?
I don't think there's any problem.
Sure, for you it's fine! What time will the police be here?
I don't know.
The Sergeant should be here. It's almost four.
When he comes, we'll escape through the roof.
- Through where? - Through the roof.
- The roof? - Holy Virgin!
Then, we'll disappear in the night.
Franca and I will spend the night at the station.
Yes, a couple in the station go unnoticed.
You'll sleep in the Forum with your wife.
- In the Forum? - Yes.
- On the floor? - The nights are warm now.
And you three boys...
The bombs weren't enough,
he wants us to sleep with cats!
And he's putting our daughter in the middle of it!
They'll jail us for life! What's holding up the Sergeant?
If they were coming, they'd be here already.
They're not afraid of us any more!
- No... - As if I'm so old!
No, Olinto, no...
Look at me!
You think I can still be dangerous?
Yes, my love, of course.
If they're going to play like that,
they'll see what it means to leave Olinto Fossati free!
- You'll see! - Olinto, don't do anything crazy!
They won't be picking us up. Let's not waste time!
To the roof! Let's go, Cemetery!
Yes, we'll go.
One moment!
In these situations, there's one rule, don't lose your cool.
So, the first bomb here!
- Don't lose your cool! - I understand.
Estefano! Always in the street like a beggar!
If you don't talk to him,
I won't know what else to do!
Estefano! Gabriela!
Come here!
These people are impossible! Go tell them something!
They haven't put you in jail, yet?
No, why? Does it bother you?
Yes! Get your bags ready!
You'd like to see us inside!
- I'll make sure of it! - What are you waiting for?
Go call the police!
You don't scare me!
Go on, spy, run! Better yet, call them on the phone.
They'll get here quicker!
Something else? I won't be a minute!
Thanks, don't bother. It's not necessary!
The Sergeant!
- Good day, ma'am. - Please,
if you don't mind.
I see you're all ready, eh?
Yes, always, Sergeant and this time there's...
- one more, the girl. - I know. Congratulations.
She's grown, Sergeant. She's very beautiful.
- Good day. - Good day.
This time they were at the point of leaving you in peace.
They were undecided, and at the last minute...
What are we going to do? Franca, a glass for the Sergeant.
Thanks, please join me.
Of course.
- Cheers! - Cheers!
If you're hiding someone, that changes everything!
- Good morning, men! - Good morning.
I assure you,
I was beginning to miss you, my beloved flock!
- Miss us? - Yes.
You aren't happy with the savages locked up here?
Speaking of savages,
they've told me a new acquisition has arrived.
A real cannibal!
- Where is he? - But he's just a beginner.
No exaggeration, Father. He's just become a supporter.
You call this a supporter?
"Unknown suspect plants flag of anarchists
above Rome."
Ah, there he is!
Let me see you. What's your name?
Ulysses Cecconato, Reverend.
An anarchist, and you almost bit my hand off!
There's a misunderstanding, Father. I'm not an anarchist.
Let me out.
What a comedian!
I assure you,
that hand-kissing was like a seminary student!
Very well, we'll have a fine time
while you're here.
Do you like the magic lantern?
He's been trying for 16 years,
and we've always passed on the magic lantern.
This time I have new plates, very interesting,
the work of the missionaries all over the world.
Leave it to us to think about the world, Reverend.
My dear pretentious friends,
remember that the only authentic bomb that has been launched
is the Gospel.
There's 15 minutes of water for those who wish to wash.
Hurry up!
How she's grown!
Do you want to send a note to a girl outside?
I don't know anyone.
Maybe someone inside the prison?
- Inside? - Yes!
- Among the women? - Yes!
- Okay! - But it'll cost you!
This is my hydropneumatic telegraph!
I'll give you paper and pencil.
Who's it for?
Which Fossati?
The little one!
It's ready. Give it to me.
We'll put it in here, and into the pipes.
Then, pressure to move the water!
Is this the one you started with the visit of Christian of Denmark?
Yes, in February!
There's so little time at home.
Your daughter must be quite bored.
It's her first time.
We hope it's better than last time!
- For me? - Open it up.
"Tomorrow, the generals arrive at the station. I won't be there.
- Who's to blame?" - Can I respond?
Come on, hurry!
It's already late. He'll have it tomorrow when they shower.
Just bread for me. Is it fresh?
It's hard!
Tomorrow, I'll bring you Viennese bread.
We'll see about it.
"I'm going to the mass for women. You go to the mass for men.
I'll be hiding in the confessional.
It's very important!
I'll be waiting for you."
- Anyone going to mass? - Yes, me!
He's up to something.
I've been thinking all night.
Don't you think we should tell him about the Wild Hole?
- Nineteen. - Nineteen.
- Franca? - Yes!
You! mulieribus y benedictus fructus ventris tui lesus.
Santa María Mater Deus ora pronobis pecatoribus...
What is this very important thing?
They didn't tell you anything? My father...
Your father? No. What should he have told me?
Come on, Franca.
They didn't tell you about the Wild Hole?
- About what? - The Wild Hole!
There's someone inside there!
No! Opening a confessional is sacrilege!
Ulysses Cecconato!
To the visiting room!
Your cousin.
What are you doing here?
- They got me out! - How?
In the confessional there's a secret passway...
the Wild Hole!
Under the seat, there's a hook.
- A hook? - A hidden hook.
I've never been so scared! There are rats this big...
in the street! It made me nauseous!
In which street?
The street!
what I wanted to tell you.
You did all that for me?
For Cemetery.
So that he can go get them.
- Get who? - The generals at the station!
Oh, yeah.
Is there a problem, Cemetery?
I was just thinking that...
they'll soon notice the escape.
They won't know anything
until roll call at night.
It's a dumb idea, without preparation.
- It would be crazy. - Why?
there needs to be at least two.
You have a mission to do, don't forget.
No. I'm sorry, but no.
Do we tell him that
there's a secret passage made by a comrade,
but that we've never used it?
Absolutely absurd!
Thumb up: we tell him.
Thumb down: we tell him nothing.
- Yes. - Ready, go!
Two for yes
and ten for no. Then, it's no.
Would someone have a clean shirt to lend me?
And a jacket, a vest, some pants,
to disguise myself a little in case they look for me.
And a tie, please.
A tie? How about mine?
- It's a bit sad. - And this one?
- That's better. - You're going?
And a little money. It's always necessary.
- Yes, I'm going. - To where?
To the Wild Hole.
- Huh! - How?
Luckily, I have my informers.
Ulysses, I was asking our friends here...
- But what informers? - Your shoes, quickly!
- Of course! - What did I tell you?
- Is he going to...? - Sure, didn't you hear?
And the money?
Thank you, thank you...
I'm poor, I'm an artist...
Thank you.
Is that all you have, Professor?
- Yes, yes... - Excuse me, Professor.
Professor! He forgot about this!
- Thanks. - That's it.
100 lire? Father!
I don't have change.
And now,
you'll have to help me back into the chapel.
How do we do that?
Tell us how we're to do that.
You've got a sudden urge to
watch the magic lantern.
The magic lantern?
They'll count us at the door.
They'll notice someone missing when we return.
Come here.
4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14 and 15.
Are you there, Father?
Go ahead.
- Father, I need to confess! - Come back, later.
You have to help me, Father! It's a huge sin!
- Give it to me, quickly. - I don't dare!
Shut your eyes, open your mouth, and do it!
Do you promise to absolve me?
No, that's not how it's done!
First you tell, then, we'll see!
Hurry up, the Lord is busy.
Please, don't cry!
If you cry, the sin gets worse, and yours is already pretty bad!
Are you going to tell me or not?
I can't! I can't!
Yes or no?
Yes, I did it, but...
I don't have the courage to tell you about it!
- Mother! - What happened?
I've seen... I've seen the flames of Hell!
Don't go crazy on me, too!
You startled me!
- Startled? - It's an expression.
Light it.
Very good.
I'll go ahead.
- Come on. - Give me your hand.
Let's be frank...
My name's Ulysses Cecconato. Nothing more.
- I'm sorry for deceiving you. - You don't want me with you!
You don't trust me!
Or are you afraid for me?
- I'll go back to the prison. - But if you go back...
what will I do out here, alone?
Cemetery, you're marvelous!
Fine! Let's go!
I'll be marvelous, but you asked for it!
Yes, Cemetery! I asked for it!
Our canoe is crossing a river infested with alligators.
It's not that the missionary wants to baptize the alligators,
but if one of those vermin eats
one of the black brothers that's been baptized,
he'll go straight to heaven and the alligator gets nothing.
Go! He's back!
From the coconut, missionaries have shown the natives how to
extract butter, increasing their standard of living.
See how he puts the butter on his head?
This mass helps this black. What a radiant expression!
- Some people call that a "smile". - Change.
This is an adult giraffe. At it's feet you see the baby giraffe.
Observe its long neck.
This is a cathedral. It has been constructed,
but the slide of it hasn't yet arrived.
- Franca's disappeared! - How's that possible?
- She went to mass this morning. - To mass?
- She, too? - They escaped together!
So, it was she that told him about the Wild Hole!
Is something happening back there?
- No, they're interested is all. - Next!
We have to do something!
I suppose we have to look for her.
- And soon! - What's going on?
His daughter escaped with Cemetery!
She escaped with a man, be clear!
- Come on, let's go! - We can't just go, like that!
I'll pull her back by the ears, even if I have to drag her!
- And if they catch us? - We'll do it quickly.
Keep him occupied for as long as you can.
Let's go.
This is irrigation work,
which you can't see because it's all flat,
but the work is impressive,
according to the Father Superior.
Did you hear the salute of honor? They've arrived. What now?
Now, Cemetery will think.
Sorry, I'm bothering you.
Would the right-hand aide of Cemetery
- care for a refreshment? - No, thank you, Cemetery.
This place is full of people!
The best hide-out is always amongst the masses.
Who would suspect that two swimmers are planning an attack?
- That's true. - You know how to swim?
- Yes. - Good, let's go!
- Milk? - Nitroglycerine!
I hope they're not trying to tell us our job!
We'll put things where we see fit.
Add half a cup of
The Principles of Gastronomy.
[Speaking in Russian]
Nobody's here!
[Speaking in Russian]
They're real bombs!
The Arch of Constantine.
- How can I help you? - Something small and round.
- Like what? - I don't know...
- This? - Too small.
- How about this? - Too big.
This cauliflower is perfect!
Get rid of the leaves.
Make it into a nice package
with twine. Thanks.
There it is!
It's better you carry it. A woman's more natural.
- Isn't it a bit light? - A kilo and a half of Tritol.
Call me Ulysses. It's more prudent.
I didn't know that...
- the grocer's one of us. - No, he knows nothing!
They left him a package and he gave it to me.
I see!
Do you know who left the package?
He was at your house, the dark boy.
- The one with the pamphlets! - He's my secret agent.
It's not this, it's just noon. Don't be afraid,
I'm here...
Take it easy.
- Where are we going now? - Where to now?
- Yes. - To work!
- Yes? - Come on.
- We'll find her. - But in what condition?
Look how they left everything!
They don't respect anything!
Poor Mother, if she saw this floor!
Franca! Franca!
Don't you dare touch it!
- They're not here! - Nobody's here!
- It looks serious. - How many are missing?
No doubt, they're doing it!
Oh, God! Franca's just a child!
She has no right to bomb things without my authorization!
Don't touch it, I said!
Keep still!
What do you want?
Go! A bomb's going to go off!
Not here!
A daughter and grandfather, all in one go!
What do we do now? Oh, God!
We've wasted too much time.
We have to get back before they finish the slides.
What about Franca?
What does this show?
It shows the same thing, more or less.
We've already seen this one.
I'm going to talk to the barber.
No, Papa, wait a moment!
No, Papa!
Let me go! I've made up my mind!
Don't move!
Mr. Gorgolano...
Mr. Gorgolano!
Put a hot vinegar mixture on his head.
I'm speaking to you!
- Careful! - Hold on!
Ma'am, we're speaking. Don't touch me again!
Mr. Gongolano, have you seen my daughter?
Isn't she in the jail?
No, I'm looking for her.
- If you see her... - Why would I see her?
Because she'll pass by here, I'm sure of it.
Be still!
And our grandfather?
You haven't seen him, either?
Him, too?
This isn't the lost-and-found.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Be still, he's almost finished.
I'm under the impression that you've gotten the gist
of what the missions are about.
What was I saying? I was right.
I've never had a more attentive audience!
Count them. There should be fifteen!
- Director! - Mr. Capellan...
Something very serious is happening here!
There should be four missing... the four Fossatis.
- My four friends, the Fossatis? - It's impossible they're here.
They were seen in the city today.
Director, I can't allow you
to say something like that!
- Who called? - Giuseppe Gorgolano.
Surely, a false name.
No! Giuseppe Gorgolano, Lovatelli Square!
Gorgolano. Find him!
Insults to the magistrate will be severly punished!
Director, I found this ball coming out of the fountain!
It's so wonderful to be with you!
It's so peaceful, as if nothing is going to happen.
Who knows? Nothing might happen, after all.
My dear Franca...
one has to learn to appreciate these times of peace.
We're here between two parentheses. Let's close them,
so that no one can come inside.
If I were rich, I'd buy lots of parentheses,
all made of gold,
to live inside, with you.
- You speak like a poet. - I am a poet.
I've been one since I understood that what matters
is action.
Action, of course.
- What's wrong? - A worm, in the bomb!
- Waiter! - Don't touch it.
- Take away this filth! - Excuse me, sir?
If I wanted to eat worms, I'd go to China!
You don't know how sorry we are, a thousand pardons, sir.
- It's fine. - Shall I take this away?
Don't touch it!
I'd like fruit and coffee,
and the bill.
Sometimes a little foolishness about nothing
makes me furious, like my father.
- Your father? - Yes.
He was a marvellous man. Two meters in height,
stronger than a bull, his name was Volcano.
And his nickname, who gave it to him?
Excuse me.
A Mexican,
named Soledad.
"Italian Daily"!
After the infernal attack on Santa Barbara in the Caribbean,
she lured the police to herself to save me.
And they killed her.
Oh, Soledad!
- "Italian Daily"? - No, thank you.
What a beautiful gesture!
Yes, very beautiful.
- She was a heroine. - How I envy her.
- Franca, you're marvelous. - Me? No...
I think so.
What a shame...
Too bad I'm not Cemetery.
- Again, with that. - I mean,
that I'm not the Cemetery you imagined.
You know, I've never gotten used to bombing places.
It's still difficult?
Yes, almost always.
Perhaps, it's the memory of her, of Soledad.
Yes, of course.
I'd forgotten her.
You're a bad liar, but better to believe you.
- Wait for me here. - I want to go, too.
- No, you've done enough! - I still haven't done anything!
Franca! Come here!
Excuse me!
Oh, God! The Arch of Constantine!
But nobody was underneath!
It's the Arch of Constantine! What will they say?!
Is it important?
- They'll register the whole city! - We need to save ourselves!
- But where? - In the jail!
Don't come back. Things are getting messy.
That's why we want back in!
No, wait! You can't!
They've found everything!
The director found a ball
with a note from your mother saying she escaped with you!
Then, the Arch of Constantine!
What were you thinking?
The Professor almost fainted!
He always says never to touch the Arch of Constantine!
- I'll explain everything! - What's there to explain?
You're public knowledge!
Didn't you see?
If you come back, you lose!
- We're safe now. - Hurry!
- Let's go! - Where?
- To England! - Why?
It's a paradise for fugitives.
- You should know better than I! - Yes, of course!
Go home.
In the first drawer of my chest, there's a little box.
There's some jewelery from my grandmother. We'll sell them.
Meanwhile, I'll go to the cleaners and pick up my dress.
- To go to England? - Yes!
In an hour, at the Trevi Fountain.
- Who is it? - It's me.
- Who, Ulysses? - Yes, Grandfather.
- I've something to tell you! - No...
It's very important. Come up!
Grandfather, would you have any money?
- No. What for? - And a false beard?
- A false beard? - No, but wait...
- speaking of beards... - Fine, good day!
- And what's this? - They're bombs!
The real agents have come!
I'm trying to tell you, but you won't let me speak!
The Arch of Constantine! It was them...
One moment!
- Did you see them close-up? - In the flesh!
If they're the ones who really placed the bombs,
we're saved!
You were right!
- What are they? - They're bombs!
You've done a good job, comrade.
They're back!
Two men are coming up the stairs.
Come on, hide! Quickly!
Nobody make a move, until I give the order!
It's them!
- Now, they'll bomb the Coliseum. - Why the Coliseum?
They've already blown up the Arch of Constantine.
No! What a shame!
You, too?
I had my first kiss under that arch.
They're going to the Peace Fair!
They're not going anywhere! The others will get them!
- Very good! - Why didn't we get them?
Let them launch their bombs. Let them burn everything!
At 5:30, at the Peace Fair!
Seven bombs! Aren't we the party of order?
To re-establish order, what do we need? Disorder!
- Magnificent! - We have to do it right
because they're working for us.
- What genius! - To the Peace Fair!
What's happening?
- I have to go, too. - No! What can you do?
I forbid you!
Don't you understand that if someone dies
it'll be my fault? I'll stop it, for sure!
- Who? You, Ulysses? - Yes, I'll do it!
Then, they'll know you're not Cemetery!
- Good! - It'll fall on me, too!
Oh, my dignity!
Keep the change.
It's full of police. They'll have photos of us.
Don't worry, let me handle it.
Give me one of those bombs to start...
and make sure you don't move from here.
It's not a prison, it's a come-and-go,
says the head of the guard.
Whatever happens, remember I love you.
Me, too.
- Whatever happens. - Whatever happens.
Very good. Give it to him.
We'll no longer pave the streets with stones,
but with helmets.
- We're squashing the enemy! - And the tar that covers them,
we boil in the old camp kitchens.

And this observation balloon...
Quiet, children!
Science has found that Whooping Cough
can be cured with high-altitude flights.
Miss, bring forward the smallest.
Come, give the man a kiss.
- I've already had it. - You can have it twice.
Give them the flowers.
- I know everything! - Ulysses, try to understand!
It's too late!
See those two with the beards?
- Yes. - I work with them.
Let's split up.
You go after that one and protect him,
and I'll protect the other.
Every time he places a bomb,
tell me where he's put it.
Go ahead!
How may I help you?
- This stroller... - Don't touch it, please.
- You like this stroller? - Yes.
There are other kinds.
- I want this one! - Look how roomy it is.
I see it, I see it!
From war to peace, ladies and gentlemen!
Our pasta-cutting wheel is nothing more
than a spur from the Glorious Saboya Cavalry,
a useful object for every family
and a must-have memento for every patriot!
You can cook any meal in five minutes,
thanks to our hermetically-sealed casserole dish!
As you see, it's very simple!
Just turn the dial, and the casserole is ready!
- Perfect! - There's no danger of it exploding?
Impossible, sir, thanks to our automatic mechanism.
It's very simple, just put it over heat and in five minutes,
the soup is ready! Good bye, sir, thank you.
...from the Saboya Cavalry, an object useful for any family,
- a memento for our patriots! - five minutes, Voila!
- Excuse me. I want that casserole. - They're all the same!
No, no. That one has a bigger safety mechanism.
They're all the same!
- I want that one! - You want that one?
- Very well, there you are. - How much do I owe you?
Ten lire, sir. Thank you very much.
And two. Move it!
- This coin's worthless now. - Since when?
Since a long time. Don't you see it has Humberto The First?
- So what? - He's dead.
I know that. Bresso killed him!
- Where did you get it? - It doesn't matter, I want in!
It doesn't matter, if you understand.
- I want a ticket! - Give it to him. I'll pay for it.
It's gold!
Grandfather! Grandfather!
Ma'am! Ma'am!
- Who, me? - Yes, you!
- What do you have in the bag? - In the bag?
Open it, if you would.
- Melons. - Melons!
You should have said so.
Take it, excuse us.
- Melons... - Go on, please...
Take those bombs back now!
I won't take back anything! I'm stopping a massacre!
You don't see those two? Leave me, Grandfather!
Ulysses, if you do it, I'll tell Franca everything.
I've spent all day trying to convince her
that Cemetery doesn't exist, but it's no use. She's crazy about him!
Tell me. Yours should have three.
Yes, he's placed them.
He put one here, in the cuckoo...
He's not a traitor, he's a monster!
- That's it, a monster! - No, a traitor!
Yeah, a traitor!
And me, like an idiot behind him, loaded with melons.
- What do you mean, melons? - Yes, melons!
All the bombs have been placed!
When they explode, out with your jackets!
We'll help the wounded with our black jackets on!
- Give it to me, I'll push it. - No!
Why didn't you obey me? I told you to wait outside!
But are you sure?
Definitely. That's the couple we're looking for.
Agreed, let's get them.
One moment, excuse us.
Please, just a few questions,
perhaps a bit indiscreet.
Are you two married?
- No, married, no. - Engaged?
- Yes, obviously. - Very good.
The generals are coming this way.
- Paris, Amsterdam... - Paris...
Excuse me, do you think you finished your job?
You have to do it again!
Move it!
Ladies and gentlemen, we've come to what one may call
the heart of our exposition, the first prefabricated house,
the House of Peace!
A symbol and promise of a future,
finally peaceful and happy!
We're giving it to this couple who are eligible to represent...
See what you've done?
...honored to offer to this symbolic couple...
- You're mad! - And you're dispicable!
...a future happiness!
I hate you, I detest you! I'll kill you!
And, now, they're giving you a house! Satisfied?
I don't care! I won't die!
...the key
to this house,
that will be for you...
- Let me finish... - Yes.
...that will be for you, the House of Peace,
in this changing world and...
...damn! Excuse me.
The house is yours!
I don't know. Tell the Governor...
- Where is he? - In the house of peace.
- What are you doing, son? - Nothing.
I assure you...
It's the first time I've owned a house, and I want to see it.
- It's quite clean. - Excuse me?
- It's quite clean. - It'll be good for all of you.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
It would be a scandal! Keep your eyes open!
Excuse me!
It's 5:25!
- We're agreed. - Pardon me!
Excuse me, let me look here.
Excuse me, Your Excellence.
- Yes, my son? - Can you tell me the exact time?
- I think so. - Thank you.
- It's 5:30. - No, it must be running ahead.
- Now, you should say something. - Yes, I'll be brief.
In this house, there are seven bombs
that will explode in three minutes!
Out! Out!
Move it! Out!
Run! Everyone out!
This is going to explode! Cut it! Cut it!
Poor thing!
Don't be frightened. After all, he saved your life!
He saved your life, too!
- His straw hat! - I saw him fall into the basket.
That's good!
He can't have gone up with the balloon!
- He did! - No!
You picked a good day to see us. You sign up...
then, you disappear. Why?
We don't like when that happens.
- We don't like traitors! - I haven't betrayed anyone.
No matter, we won't have traitors.
When we're in power, we won't need prisons.
- What a revelation! - Don't be funny.
Though a little insolence doesn't bother us.
See who he's with?
But those are the Fascists!
Prisons are made to escape from.
Not ours!
We have prisons without holes.
What's so funny?
- Without holes? - So what?
- Well, there is a hole. - Go on,
draw us a plan.
Don't talk. Please don't talk!
What are you waiting for?
- Tell them or I'll hit you! - Then, hit me!
- You wouldn't understand. - How did you get out?
You may be strong,
but in your dictionary, there's a word mssing from the "L"s.
He didn't talk!
Liberty! You're a fool!
What do you know about liberty?
Liberty is a little hole in a prison,
like the marrow in a bone.
Enough! We'll see! Let's go!
When we're in power, we'll be there forever,
and you'll be persecuted, the rest of your life.
And you, all your life, a persecutor.
Cemetery! Cemetery!
Yes, Ulysses.
What have they done to you?
Let's get out of here.
Excuse me!
From the very start, I knew I was dancing on the edge.
Look out! Look out!
It's a bomb! It's a bomb!
It's a bomb!
It exploded, it finally exploded!