Christmas Eve on BBC1


Uploaded by northernanorak on 17.12.2006

Transcript:
Programs this Christmas Eve
on BBC1
at three thirty John Cleese is Basil Fawlty in Fawlty Towers
It's been an interesting fifteen years but all good things must come to an end
I hope you enjoy your new [inaudible] oh fuck!
At 4 o'clock, Under the Mistletow
Yes, I am going, now. To give myself up
But I have never felt more...awake
oh fuck and shit!
And at four forty five The Christmas Carol #singing# Are we still going? Cunt! You're a cunt!
At 5.15, the Ken Dodd Christmas Special
When Barbara Streisand was born the angels kissed her throat and she became a great singer.
Unfortunately for the Asians
Oh Bollocks!
Followed at five forty five byte in the country and Sue Lawley is all at sea
You just keep breaking up and i just don't know
what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing at all
at five fifty five the news from across the country in Nationwide
The Common Market more than just the landscape
of wine lakes and butter mountains. Fuck!
And at six twenty five, Grandstand
So from England's point of view, everything worked out as I'm sure they thought it would
with a semifinal at Old Trafford against New Zealand,
with the Oval... Shit
At seven o'clock
Mastermind introduced by Magnuss Magnusson Which will include Australia's own Mastermind
John Bond. Oh Shit
Then at seven thirty
the final episode of doctor who. Nobody in this fucking piece will shut up
At eight o'clock a special presentation of shakespeare's as you like it
ninny is this, thou scurvy patch?
I do besiege thy greatness
Oh for fuck's sake!
at nine o'clock comedy in the Beryl Reid Show. Oh Shit!
At nine thirty five, The Onedin Line
Right, I want to see the [indistinct] oh fuck
Then at ten o'clock Terry Wogan introduces come dancing
Now to the northwest, and it's the Foxtrot. For them, Stuart Yo... oh shit!
And at ten thirty, the Old Grey Whistle Test With the Stranglers
Any students from Guildford University? Fuck Off
At five past 11, Better Golf.
And this week special guest the true professional Michael Parkinson.
There'll be some marvellous ones for the VTR Christmas Show from this series won't there? All the bloody effort that goes into it
I'd just say bugger it if I were you, you don't give a bugger actually, 'cos fuck them
At 11.35, Isabelle's Return. Once we're married nothing can part us.
Oh fucking arseholes, I've just shit
Programs this christmas eve on bbc two, err, one Oh Fucking Arseholes.
Can we do a take two on that again?
this is bbc one
and this is bbc two
and this is television centre
and this is David Dunsbury, a Commissionaire on the main gate
and this is the main gate
and this is vision maintenance and this is Pres A during the strike
and this is the NODDY symbol
and this is the symbol of peace and goodwill
and this is a piece of good will
and this is Benidorm, where I went on holiday
and this is a
what is this
This is Good Kink Memorex. A show with a royal title featuring
no royalty whatsoever
after what happened last year
now some boobs during the last year
[laughter] what? Oh there's somebody...
Do you want to start again?