Ghost Sniffers: Episode 7: "Apple & Eve"

Closed Captioning Provided by Blue Forge Productions
FORGE: Harley, I really want to, but I have to stay home and keep an eye on Maxo!
FORGE: Today, tomorrow, forever! Responsibility isn't just a river in Sumeria.
FORGE: He's measuring the entire house, Harley.
FORGE: What do you want me to say?
HARLEY: I want you to say you'll catch the next ferry.
FORGE: Harley, I want to. I really do. But the Monster Bunny threatened his life.
FORGE: And Maxo is my brother. The only brother I actually like.
REEVE: Forge, just bring Maxo with you.
FORGE: Reeve? On the ferry? He hates ferries.
MAXO: I hate ferries.
REEVE: But they have those great hotdogs.
FORGE: I hate hotdogs.
MAXO: I love hotdogs!
HARLEY: Forge, the club isn't the same without you. It's been a month.
COSMO: Maybe you beat that bunny down, Forge. Like Watership Down,
COSMO: like way down, get down, back to the burrowship down.
FORGE: Cosmo. You make no sense.
HARLEY: Forge, you started CPAC. You can't just walk away from it. Bring Maxo. It'll be fun. Bye.
FORGE: Harley? You still there?
EVE: Forge?
FORGE: Eve!
EVE: Forge, your friends miss you.
FORGE: I miss them too, Eve.
EVE: They're rehearsing Alice in Wonderland. They want you to be Alice!
FORGE: We're on our way.
(parseltongue)
FORGE: Sorry. I don't speak parseldumb.
FORGE: Maybe Cosmo was right.
FORGE: I haven't seen the Bunny, the Four, or that filthy treacherous kraken in more than a month.
FORGE: Maybe this IS over.
MAXO: I'm the hotdog king of the world!
FORGE: Maximilian stayed home. He's been really great lately.
MAXIMILIAN: Nice move, Kraken.
KRAKEN: (appreciative sound)
MAXO: Forge, if the ferry boat hit an iceburg and our sole means of survival
MAXO: was debris only strong enough to keep on of us afloat--
FORGE: We would take turns on the debris so both of us would live.
MAXO: Thanks, Forge.
MAXO: I might grow up to be a serious actor.
FORGE: You can be anything you want to be, Maxo.
MAXO: I might be an actor already.
FORGE: You might be.
MAXO: I might be one actor playing two vastly different characters on opposite sides of the moral/ethical spectrum,
MAXO: in an emotionally rich and spiritually satisfying series about children who rise up from their
MAXO: circumstances to empower everyone around them!
FORGE: Maxo?
MAXO: Yeah?
FORGE: No more tuba.
FORGE: Hi everyone!
(greetings jumble together)
HARLEY: It's been too long.
REEVE: We've missed you.
COSMO: You already look like Alice!
FORGE: Let me introduce you to Maxo!
FORGE: Maxo?
FORGE: That's Eve.
FORGE: Also, you have hotdog breath.
MAXO: I ate a hotdog.
FORGE: Maxo, this is Harley, Reeve and Cosmo.
MAXO: Nice to meet you.
HARLEY: While we wait for the new acting coach, we can run lines.
COSMO: I love running lines!
REEVE: I like your new sniff hat, Forge.
COSMO: Feed your head!
MAXO: It's not new, Reeve.
MAXO: Forge can't try on any new clothes right now.
MAXO: Because the Bunny might grab me while she's in the dressing room.
REEVE: You try on hats in the dressing room?
COSMO: Through the looking glass!
FORGE: I'm very modest.
HARLEY: I remember now. You got that hat right after the investigation about the enchanted apple.
MAXO: Or not enchanted.
FORGE: I never figured it out.
REEVE: What happened then? I don't think I knew you.
COSMO: Go ask Alice!
HARLEY: You hadn't joined the club yet.
FORGE: I'll tell you the story.
EVE: Mint?
MAXO: Thank you!
FORGE: You're welcome.
FORGE: Despite the paranoid anti-homeschool rhetoric carried over from the McCarthy era,
FORGE: children don't need public school to be properly socialized.
FORGE: If it took a village to raise a child, we wouldn't be arguing about marriage equality, while mired
FORGE: in a two party system.
FORGE: Duh!
FORGE: That being said, I'm not too proud to admit that public school buildings give me the cold sweats.
FORGE: I mean, did no one else watch the first season of American Horror Story?
DEAN: Faith Athena Forge? (distorted)
FORGE: Holy Schecter!
DEAN: Excuse me! Frog in my throat!
DEAN: I'm the Dean of the Students, Dean Earnest?
DEAN: You must be the... ghost sniffer?
FORGE: Have we met before?
DEAN: Not that I'm aware of.
FORGE: Have you ever been a lighthouse keeper?
DEAN: No.
FORGE: A soldier in the U.S. Army?
DEAN: Not with this tie.
FORGE: Apparently, caucasian men are more prevelent than I've been led to believe by the casting department.
FORGE: I must be remembering something that hasn't happened yet.
FORGE: I followed Dean Earnest into the bowels of the public school beast,
FORGE: with a swiftly growing sense of tepid trepidation.
DEAN: Forge, this is:
DEAN: Beat,
DEAN: Wiz,
DEAN: Captain,
CAPTAIN: Yo.
DEAN: All-Star, and her little sister-
TWINK: Personal mascot.
DEAN: -Twink.
DEAN: These are the students affected by the enchanted apple.
FORGE: Seriously?
CAPTAIN: Dean attends every competition.
DEAN: This SCHOOL is my life.
ALL-STAR: No, really, he goes to every competition. Sports,
WIZ: Math,
BEAT: Spoken Word.
DEAN: I love you kids more than my wife!
CAPTAIN: Creepy!
ALL-STAR: Last week, we all won.
TWINK: Big time won.
WIZ: Epic wins. Phenomenal.
BEAT: Too phenomenal.
WIZ: Not statistically.
CAPTAIN: Dean has this apple.
ALL-STAR: His lucky apple.
DEAN: I.. I love apples.
WIZ: He carries it with him.
BEAT: Everywhere.
FORGE: You bring an apple to every competition?
DEAN: Yeah.
FORGE: The same apple?
DEAN: Yes.
FORGE: Like a pet apple?
DEAN: Yes!
FORGE: And you think magic is the problem?
DEAN: The students have never won at this level.
STUDENTS: Thanks, Dean.
DEAN: I believe in all of you!
DEAN: It just seems... Improbable.
CAPTAIN: An enchanted apple is probable?
BEAT: Does this make you angry, Forge?
FORGE: No, not particularly.
BEAT: Then, you don't know what's going on here.
CAPTAIN: Word.
BEAT: The tide of young voices drowns out the drone of the machine.
BEAT: The machine of ill-fitting cogs begrudgingly turning.
BEAT: Churning only to grind each other down.
BEAT: When down is no longer an option.
BEAT: The only option is up.
BEAT: And up is how we'll rise.
CAPTAIN: Yeah! You go girl!
FORGE: So...
FORGE: ...you think you won the Spoken Word competition on your own, no apple required?
BEAT: Quite the contrary.
BEAT: To be cynical is the be alive.
BEAT: The fruit is enchanted.
BEAT: The judges were hoodwinked.
REEVE: You had to interview all the winning students?
FORGE: Yeah.
HARLEY: Did you have an assistant that time?
FORGE: I tried.
FORGE: They all seemed so worldly and cynical.
EVE: She should have believed in herself.
COSMO: Trust yourself, Forge!
MAXO: That's what you just said!
FORGE: I should have. But Maximilian was not helpful.
MAXIMILIAN: I am indeed worldly and cynical, little sister, but I am also totally booked for today.
FORGE: What are you doing?
MAXIMILIAN: Riding around in a limousine.
FORGE: What!? Why?
MAXIMILIAN: To lift myself above the squalor of the working class. To be reminded of the luxury that
MAXIMILIAN: a mind such as mine deserves.
FORGE: On what planet?!
MAXIMILIAN: My chariot awaits.
FORGE: These students were tough cookies.
FORGE: Rocky-level competitors in their respective fields.
FORGE: I decided to divide and conquer to discover the truth.
FORGE: The poet, Beat, believed in the apple.
FORGE: Next up is Wiz, the mathlete.
WIZ: I've never been in a sword fight.
WIZ: But if I ever was, I'd trust my life to mathematics.
FORGE: Math?
WIZ: With physics, we know motion, action, reaction.
WIZ: With algebra, we solve for every unknown in the pattern.
WIZ: With geometry, we master spatial relations.
WIZ: With any successful battle, there's always a series of successful equations.
WIZ: Have I lost you?
FORGE: No, not at all. I was just considering the Sword of Damocles.
WIZ: Excalibur?
FORGE: No, Damocles!
FORGE: Dangling by a single horses hair, the sword dangled over Damocles' neck.
FORGE: Proving that loss is never far away, happiness is fragile, and riches are hard won.
WIZ: Hey, I won that contest fair and square kid. Enchanted apple? Bunk.
FORGE: I was intimidated by her math jargon.
HARLEY: How did you know about Damocles when you were only eight?
FORGE: Maximilian ate Maxo's sea monkeys.
MAXO: I got even.
MAXO: The Spork of Damocles!
MAXO: Oh, how fragile is man!
MAXO: His follies so tragic!
MAXO: His victory so fleeting!
REEVE: What about the cheerleader?
COSMO: Shake those pompoms!
HARLEY: Cheerleaders are athletes, Cosmo.
FORGE: Captain was very interesting, actually.
CAPTAIN: Thanks for getting me out of that room, Sniff.
CAPTAIN: Unless I'm on top of the pyramid, I'm claustrophobic!
CAPTAIN: Can I call you Sniff? Like short for Ghost Sniffer?
CAPTAIN: That's why everyone calls me Captain.
CAPTAIN: Short for Northwest Pacific Peninsula High School Cheer Captain.
CAPTAIN: My real name's Buck Reid Jr. After my grandma.
FORGE: Captain, Wiz doesn't think the apple's enchanted.
FORGE: But Beat does.
FORGE: You're Beat's friend. What do you think?
Double click to edit
CAPTAIN: I wouldn't say we're friends.
CAPTAIN: This is high school.
CAPTAIN: BFFN, you know?
FORGE: No, actually, I don't know.
CAPTAIN: Drop out?
FORGE: Third grade.
CAPTAIN: Badass.
FORGE: Thanks.
CAPTAIN: Here's the deal, Sniff.
CAPTAIN: Beat, Wiz, All-Star and me?
CAPTAIN: It doesn't matter what any of us think?
CAPTAIN: We have the trophies. Done deal.
FORGE: But if the apple is enchanted, you all cheated!
CAPTAIN: Did the apple smell enchanted?
CAPTAIN: It's not about the truth, Sniff. It's about morale.
CAPTAIN: My cheer group, the Flying Pinkies--
CAPTAIN: Do you know what a Pinkie is?
FORGE: A baby mouse you feed to a snake?
CAPTAIN: The Flying Pinkies have never won a game. Ever!
CAPTAIN: But right now, whether they earned it or not...
CAPTAIN: They all feel on top of the pyramid.
FORGE: I still didn't know the truth about the apple.
FORGE: And there was one more student to interview.
REEVE: The football player, right, All-Star?
COSMO: Yeah, and Twinkle Twinkle Little All-Star.
HARLEY: At least All-Star and her little sister were close, like you and Maxo. That must have felt familiar.
FORGE: I'd hoped.
ALL-STAR: Can I be a presumptuous jock for a moment?
FORGE: Absolutely.
ALL-STAR: You seem a bit lost.
FORGE: I've never been so confused with so many big personalities in my life.
FORGE: And I live with Maximilian.
ALL-STAR: I might just be a jock.
TWINK: First female football MVP.
ALL-STAR: But I think about things.
TWINK: 4.5 GPA.
ALL-STAR: Maybe the apple is just a plain apple.
ALL-STAR: Maybe the power of suggestion created by its constant presence imbided it with
ALL-STAR: influence and this infused everyone with clarity, drive, and sure, even a touch of luck.
TWINK: Star dust and snails butts!
ALL-STAR: Twink!
ALL-STAR: Twink, calm down!
TWINK: No!
TWINK: The apple isn't magic! All-Star did it all herself, and you can't take it away from her!
ALL-STAR: Twink!
FORGE: I turned in my report to Dean Earnest ten minutes later.
FORGE: Are you sure we haven't met before?
DEAN: I just have that kind of face.
MAGNOLIA: Accion!
MAGNOLIA: Children! Small creatures yet unformed by twists of fate.
MAGNOLIA: Yet uncast in the molds of others making.
MAGNOLIA: This is your moment to rise.
MAGNOLIA: Prove to the watchers in the sky, in the shadows, beyond the sewer grates,
MAGNOLIA: that you are a force of nature, a force of good, a force to be reckoned with or fed french fries.
MAGNOLIA: It is your day to seize, to cease your folly, to walk your path, to lay your pavement!
MAGNOLIA: The steps have been taken. And they were found in your Pikachu backpack!
COSMO: What?!
MAGNOLIA: I, Madame Magnolia, your new teacher, have a arrived.
MAGNOLIA: With flourish, with flair, with fortitude.
MAGNOLIA: Well, let's begin the begin.
MAGNOLIA: Places everyone! Posture! Positions!
FORGE: What happened to Mrs. Raymond?
HARLEY: She joined a parkour team in Baltimore.
FORGE: What I didn't tell Reeve and the others, is that before turning in the report to Dean Earnest, I called a friend.
FORGE: A long time ago, she had gone to public school, and I wanted her insight.
FORGE: She said something that day. Something I'll never forget.
FORGE: I dont' know who I can trust.
FORGE: They lie to me, to each other!
FORGE: They change their opinion! They contradict themselves!
FORGE: You know what my friend said?
FORGE: She said....
EVE: Everyone lives their own life, Forge. They all have their own truths.
EVE: They might experience things together, but their experiences are unique.
EVE: Some truths will trap them, and others will set them free.
EVE: There are so many decisions to make, and the choice is theirs.
EVE: Ultimately, they decide.
FORGE: Eve? Are you free?
EVE: Yes. But it wasn't easy getting here.
HARLEY: I'm glad you came back, Forge.
FORGE: Me too!
REEVE: Thanks for the story.
COSMO: You should join CPAC, Maxo.
MAXO: Ultimately, I'd like to direct.
MAGNOLIA: Come children! Your parental units await.
MAGNOLIA: Parting is such saccharine despair!
EVE: Take care of each other.
FORGE: We will, Eve.
MAXO: Promise.
FORGE: Time to go home, Maxo.
MAXO: Forge?
FORGE: Yeah?
MAXO: Eve is a ghost!
FORGE: Eve is my friend.
MAXO: And only you and I can see her.
FORGE: That's right.
MAXO: Forge?
FORGE: Yes, Maxo?
MAXO: I have a crush on Eve.
FORGE: Of course you do. �