Michael Josephson - The Importance of Ethics: An Inspirational Introduction


Uploaded by CSUNFacDev on 01.11.2012

Transcript:
>> Lauren Nile: Thank you everyone for coming. It's a pleasure to be back here with you after having Mr. Michaelson here with us last spring.
My name's Lauren Nile. I work in the office of human resources and I'm pleased to welcome you to
this special, very special presentation made possible through the support and
encouragement of our Vice President Tom McCarron. Thank you Vice President
McCarron, and in cooperation with the Department of Faculty Development, as
well. Is Daisy here by chance? Well, if she were we'd say thank you Daisy. Our
guest today is Mr. Michael Josephson, a world renowned ethicist. Michael is
trained as an attorney and served as a law professor for twenty years. He was
also a successful entrepreneur and a CEO of a prominent law education company.
To make a lasting impact on the world Michael left those lucrative positions to
found the Josephson Institute that helps teachers, students, athletes and
employees find the value of making values based decisions in whatever they do.
Today Michael is here to highlight for us how we can benefit both personally and
as university community by using values based ethics to guide our interactions
at home and work as well. So, please join me everyone in welcoming Mr. Michael
Josephson. [Applause]
>> Michael Josephson: Thank you. Thank you very much. Wow, this a return
performance, rarely am I ever asked back. I guess they're giving me a second
chance so I do appreciate that very much. Knowing-- how many of you are familiar
with the radio program? Wow, I'm much taller on the radio. [Laughter] That's one
of things the radio does. Those of you who are regulars know it's no longer on
the radio. The Annex cancelled that a while ago. But, you can get an app, you
know, on either iPod or Android called, "What Will Matter", so those of you who
missed them or want them I hope you'll be interested. And how many of you are
here because a teacher said you have to be here? Okay, thank you in the back. I
always like to know you know that that part of the audience is with us as well.
In fact, I want to start out with how excited, you are, you know to be talking
about ethics and character for a couple of hours. Especially, you heard my
background that I was a lawyer. Did that increase my credibility? [Laughter] It
doesn't always. I know there's certain audiences, you know, that's really going
to be a short lecture-- you know there are a lot of good stories you can share
with your lawyer friends like what's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A Doberman pincher. [Laughter] Or the difference between a shame and a tragedy,
it's a shame if a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff. It's a tragedy if two
seats were empty. [Laughter] So, I'll give you one more so you can get it all
out of your system all your anti-lawyer bias. Why is a lawyer like a sperm?
Because only one in a 100 million does anything productive. [Laughter] Anyway,
but the interesting thing is that the same kind of cynicism that people have
about lawyers and have had historically, today we have it in about virtually
every profession. Is there a single profession that has gone unscathed in this
whether it be journalists, people in a religious community, people in a business
community wherever you go you have people who say, "What's happening." Now, to
some extent every generation has said why, what's happening, but there just
seems to be some real evidence of some deterioration. And you may know that one
of the major things that our institute does is work with kids and we have a
program called, "Character Counts." And we have eight million kids involved in
Character Counts all over the country. And there are areas of really serious
erosion and it's partly because we as adults have not done our job. I mean kids
are not born moral mutants. You know they aren't lacking any gene, but it's
somehow what we're expecting of them, what we're demanding of them, what we're
permitting and the like that has contributed to this. And a large part is there
are no examples of whether we are leading the kind of lives that we hope they
will lead. But the good news is the country is more sensitive to this than ever
before. The very growth of the character education group movement that I'm
involved in is an indication of that kind of interest, but the fact is it's an
ongoing battle. I'm a-- I'm a Star Wars fan you know and it seems like the
battle between the force and the dark side is like forever. You know neither one
is necessarily going to totally obliterate the other, but we are on the side of
the force and I hope at the end you even feel more forceful about your interest
in trying to see you know what we can we do to try to make this society better?
When I ask the basic question of most audiences and say, you know, are you
satisfied with the ethical quality of society or if I ask you to give it a
grade, normally the vast majority of people aren't. And one of those cite
certain things in politics that happen that are very discouraging but look at
things that have happened certainly in business and the mortgage crisis and kind
of this whole economic debacle we're in was the result of massive
irresponsibility and fraud; fraud by the lenders and irresponsibility by the
borrowers. You know there were tons of borrowers who were borrowing far more
than they could ever pay back, but everybody was in a silent conspiracy of
nobody seems to mind, so it's all working out. And we have-since the great
depression the most significant economic downturn and that is affecting an awful
lot of lives. It affects lives, this very relevant. And so it's always that
context of this, to talk about this and what's important. You know there's the
story of this man he wakes up in the middle of the night and he's pacing back
and forth. And his wife says, what's the matter? We're supposed to pay Charlie
5000 dollars first thing in the morning and we don't have it. I just don't know
what to do. He goes back to pacing. She just picks up the phone and dials it.
Hello, Charlie, I know its 2:00 in the morning, I'm sorry to wake you but you
know that money we owe you, we don't have it, goodnight and she hangs up. And
her husband says what did you do that for? She says look now it's his problem.
Come to bed. [Laughter] Part of what we see in this society is to make it
somebody's problem. It's the church's problem. It's the school's problem. It's
the parent's problem. It's a business problem. It's the politicians. And the
answer is, yes, it is, of course. it's everybody problem, because everybody is
affected by it. Well whose responsibility is it? Who is supposed to fix it? Yes.
You know each and every unit, each and every constituency has a role to play and
you either play a passive role, which basically means you're usually a silent
conspirator to the degradation or you try to play a more active role. Whatever
sphere of influence you have, it could be just your family, Boy Scouts, Girl
Scouts. It could be in their classroom, but the idea is to decide whether or not
you're going to be passive about this or say, wait a minute I'm not going to be
a missionary. You don't have to sacrifice your life, but just say am I-- am I
doing something to make things better, or at the very least, not make things
worse. And that becomes a real challenge. And so, the challenge is doing
something different-- another story that I think tells a part of this is this
guy comes to his place of work. He's a construction worker at lunch and he has
this little lunch bag and he opens his lunch bag and he says, bologna. I can't
believe it. This is the fourth day in a row I have bologna. I hate bologna. And
he takes the sandwich and he throws it on the ground and his co-worker says,
calm down. If you hate bologna so much why don't you ask your wife to make
something else? He said, my wife didn't make this sandwich, I did. [Laughter] I
mean think about how much we've been making our own bologna sandwiches. So, if
you're not happy with politics don't blame the politicians, blame yourselves.
The people you want or the people you vote for or don't vote for and the people
you support or don't support is our system. It's our people. Blame yourselves.
If you don't like the way your kids are acting, blame yourselves, because that's
where we have some accountability. Now blame is not really the right word. I
don't want it to be blame as much. It's just that-- where can the fix start?
Where we can begin to this? First of all let's stop making our own bologna
sandwiches if we don't like bologna. That's a simple beginning. So, what are the
things you'd like to see more of or less of? Let's just take in this society in
general and that's a real question for your response. What are some of the
things? If you have the magic wand and somebody says okay I can change some
things. You got three quick wishes, and not about you but about society or
whatever and you can change some things. What would you like to see more of or
less of? Anybody like to like to start. Just give me some ideas, yes.
>> Less bullying.
>> Michael Josephson: Less bullying, okay. And that's not only in school, right.
It really has to do with the whole notion of intimidation that covers
relationships. Now, we see it most prominently in schools, but you'd like to see
less bullying, good. What else? Yes.
>> Less greed.
>> Michael Josephson: Less greed, okay. So, people are not as concerned with
personal financial gain and the like, right you know. What--
>> Less crowding of schools.
>> Michael Josephson: Less crowding of schools, okay. So, then the sort of
positive of that is more room in schools and better teacher-student ratio,
something of that nature, right, less overcrowding of schools, okay. What else?
>> Less entitlement.
>> Michael Josephson: Less entitlement, the people feeling that they're entitled
to something. Yes, what else?
>> More altruism.
>> Michael Josephson: More altruism, yea. And by the way that's our first more.
Isn't that interesting? When you talk about differences between whether you look
at the world if it's less or more. I want to talk about that, because every less
has a more side, right and every more has a less side. It's just the flip side,
but its how you immediately think about it.
>> More emotional intelligence.
>> Michael Josephson: More emotional intelligence meaning what that more people
understand more people and--
>> Understand themselves.
>> Michael Josephson: Okay themselves and other people. Good. What else?
>> Common sense.
>> Michael Josephson: Common sense, excellent. In other words it's obviously
uncommon, I suppose by the notion itself. And interesting, that was the first
word of virtue that we mentioned, really. These other things are important and
bullying relates to virtue I mean in a sense that it's disrespectful. But if you
look at what the deterioration is or what are the causes of some of these things
that you want less of, what are the causes of these things? It might be that it
really has to do with some fundamental ethics like more responsibility. If
people were more responsible what would that look like, if they were more
accountable? If people were more respectful what would that look that? What
would that look like if people were more kind or caring? So, you're going to see
that I'm going to repackage some of this around where what I think are some core
fundamental values. And by the way a value is nothing more than a belief. But,
it's a central belief. It's just not any belief of who is the best center
fielder for a team. It's the belief that motivates your behavior. It drives your
behavior. Sometimes they're called convictions if they go deeper. But your
values are really your beliefs, what you believe in. And you have beliefs on all
kinds of things right. You have beliefs about education. You have beliefs about
sexuality. You have beliefs about politics. You have beliefs about the kind of
the person you want to be. All of these things make up your quote, "Belief
system." Your beliefs are kind of personal. What's the difference between ethics
and values, you know values are beliefs. Well some of your beliefs has to do
with ethics and some don't. The beliefs that you have that have to do with right
and wrong are ethical beliefs. So, if you have a belief that honesty is an
important trait and you want honesty in people including yourself, that belief
or that commitment to honesty is an ethical belief because there is moral
significance to that. When you believe that everybody ought to get a good
education, well that could be arguably ethical in a way if you're talking about
equity. If the underlying principle is that everybody should have a fair
education, but if you're just talking from a practical matter it's a beneficial
thing, that's good, but it isn't necessarily ethical. And I want to try to talk
about ethical values and the importance of what we can try to do to develop
those. I want you to see this little film first.
[ Setting up film ]
>> Michael Josephson: Now it's not in English, so you won't understand it, but
you'll see the activity point that I'm working on. How do you like it so far?
Come on. Give you one more chance to do it. Well, I'm going to tell you about
this video. I hope its not going to be true with all the videos. Maybe it's just
something wrong with this one. But this is an interesting video and it was made
in India. And the way its set up initially is that you see it's a crowded rainy
day on the streets and a log has fallen in the middle of the street. A great
big, not a log, a big tree has fallen in the middle of the street and its
blocking everything. So, nobody can kind of get where they're going. You have
people doing this and oh my goodness, what are they going to do. In fact,
there's a policeman sitting in their car like this, what are we going to do? And
the average society, if you had to call the authorities, how long do you think
it would take? You know under the best of circumstances to move a tree is
probably a day you know waiting for it. Well this little boy who just was on his
way to school, wants to get to school. He goes up to the log and he just starts
to push it, sort of like a strong boy. So, other kids thought that seems like
fun and its raining and they start to help him push it. Still, it's a huge tree
you know moving. Now, all of a sudden people say oh these kids they're trying to
do this. We really ought to help and in a matter of a really-- 15, 20, 30
seconds all of a sudden there's a whole lot of people pushing and ultimately
lifting the log and they lift it and they move it and they just sort of end up
congratulating themselves. That's a video about self-reliance. That's a video
about who's going to solve this problem? Whose problem is it? It's yours,
because you are the only one that you control. You're the only person that you
have absolute say over what you do or don't do. Now, if you're also influential
in an organization by all means exercise that influence. But the notion was what
if we solved our own problems. What if we as a nation more and more said, wait a
minute, if we don't like-- take typically LA city schools. A lot of the schools,
in addition to other problems, are just in horrible shape physically. How hard
would it be to paint it, clean it? Wow, that's so expensive. Not if you did it
through the community. Someone has a hardware store and you know they give the
paint. A whole bunch of parents come and then how many-- how long would it be to
clean up those bathrooms? As long as people are willing to roll up their sleeves
and clean up the bathrooms and then people who want their children to go to
clean bathrooms and instead of waiting for someone to fix the problem. And
that's what I see as part of our challenge and our solution to whatever we see.
That's what we could call that, the public moral deterioration. And that's-- so
what if we just started piece by piece in the areas that I don't think are
really working well, at least can I roll up my sleeves and do something that
might make a difference. I'll show you, I hope I'll show you another video. This
video, you'll say what does this have to do with ethics, values and character?
Well, let's look at the situation this concert pianist found himself in. He
found himself in a situation where somebody's child was sitting at his piano,
shouldn't have been there. Think of range of reactions he could have had. If he
would have been upset you couldn't have been surprised, what's this kid doing up
here. He could have reacted to that by saying to the stage manager, get this kid
off the stage. He could have said from the stage, whose kid is this? Would you
remove him? He could have went to the kid and said you know this is totally
inappropriate. Go sit down. You start thinking of all the things-- he could have
just turned around and walked back and let somebody else solve the problem and
I'll come back when it's over. He had a lot of choices. What is going to
determine what he chooses and what he ultimately chose to do? His values, what's
important to him. What did he choose to do? He chose to make the classic
lemonade out of lemons by saying the kid's already up here instead of making it
horrible for everybody else and embarrassing them. Well, I'll help the kid play
and the kid's happy and-- why would he do that? Out of all the choices he had,
he had every reason to be you know this in appropriate, it's my stage. Why would
he-- what do you think would make him choose to do that? Now I said it was
values. What do you think that value-- what do you think those values were? What
value really motivated him to do that? Yes, in the back--
[ Inaudible audience comment ]
>> Michael Josephson: I'm sorry. I'm sort of having trouble hearing you.
[ Inaudible audience comment ]
>> Michael Josephson: Okay, she said since obviously the kid had-- she said gull
or fortitude to get up there that maybe he wanted to support that in some way,
because the kid showed some real courage to do that, okay. That's a fair
possibility, what else?
>> [Inaudible audience comment]
>> Michael Josephson: She said, I think he followed his heart. And I think the
most dominant thing, because even you're explanation, which is a good one would
be caring. If he didn't care about the kid or he didn't care about another
stranger what difference does it make whether he had the, you know, gull to go
up there. My point is that somehow he could identify with that kid, either
because he's a parent or maybe or was that kid at some point or something, but
you sensed that he had compassion and empathy of some sort. He wasn't angry. He
was, look at this. Now, a couple of things about that, where do you get those
values? Where do you get those? It's hard to say but somebody in his life was
encouraging, modeling, developing that characteristic in that person who became
a concert pianist so that it became one of his internalized reactions to things.
So, his internalized reaction in this case was caring or compassion. Now, what
was the benefit of this? Of all the choices he could have made, think of what
the consequences would have been. You know all the ones from storming off the
stage to saying whose kid is this? Throwing the kid off the stage in one for or
another; every one of those things would have created tension would have damaged
somebody, would have embarrassed the little boy. He chose what we call in the
institute, the best possible result. The best possible result is when you look
at a scenario of possibilities and you say of all the things you could have
achieved, which one could achieve the most benefits and the least harms, you
know sometimes no harms. Why was this the best possible result? First of all the
parents are very relieved. They were very vulnerable to be embarrassed in that
kind of sense. Second, the kid is not discouraged from this. It's not going to
be the most traumatic event in his life. In fact, it might be one of the great
positive memorable events that he thinks in his life. If you were the agent of
that pianist, would you be glad?
>> Definitely.
>> Michael Josephson: Thrilled. This is YouTube stuff right. I mean my God, his
acting in that way was so positive, the audience, do you think they felt better
about that? Do you think they were a little tense? If you were sitting in the
audience and you're a little tense and you're saying how's this going to react
and what he's going to do. And you're all vicariously uncomfortable. Everybody
won, because he chose instinctively, not because he calculated this all out he
said, you know go with my heart. Just do the right thing, don't make a big deal
about it, just go with it. That's where values comes in. And if it's an ethical
value, meaning a value that has to do with right and wrong and I think caring is
an ethical value. Caring and compassion for another human being when he doesn't
even know him at all, it has a wonderful impact, that's positive all the way
around. So, part of the challenge is or part of it is for us to know that and
the other is for us to realize how do we create that? How do we create more in
people, that sort of willingness to support and make their instantaneous action
you know, get this kid off my stage or the tantrum to the kindness, can we do
that? And even more important how can we bring it our more in ourselves. I want
to start with this premise. You do not have to be sick to get better. So, I'm in
no way implying or suggesting any more weakness or frailty on any of your parts.
I don't know you and I assume because you're here you're much more, except those
of you that have to be here, I don't know about you guys, because you have to be
here. But the other people who didn't have to be here presumably have made some
selection or some choice because you are resonate somewhat to this kind of
message. But the fact remains that you have to decide whether or not this is
something that's going to be in the forefront of who you are, so you're willing
to get better at it. Could you be kinder? Maybe you're a very kind person. Could
you be more patient? Could you be more tolerant? Could you be more honest? Could
you be responsible? And I think the answer is, of course, unless you're living
the life at the level of sainthood nor do you have to to be a good person. The
issue isn't just between being a good person and not being a good person, it's
being the best person that you can be today. Because the best person you can be
today may be different than what you can be tomorrow, because you grow, you
learn, you're dealing with different kinds of situations. So, let's just talk
just a little bit more about what ethics is and then how do we begin to create
and then what does it look like if we're going to make this much more prominent
in our style with everything from leadership to just living. Ethics is not about
the way things are; it's about the way they ought to be. What does that mean?
Watch the Jerry Springer show and that form of show long enough and you can get
an incredibly distorted view on ethics. See, here's this little girl who was
molested by her father, but she seems happy and they have such a good
relationship now. So, maybe it's really not that bad. And you know they parade
people with all kinds of bizarre kinds of relationships and soon you begin to
not know what's normal. All of these reality shows, I shouldn't say all, many of
the reality shows play on conflict, most of which is manufactured and with
manufactured conflict where people act selfishly, they act out of anger, and we
love the drama of it. Very few people sort of act at their best and if they did
we would think that it would be boring and we probably wouldn't even believe
that it was real. We are perfectly willing to embrace it being a reality show if
they're fighting and they're nasty to each other, because of some of the
assumptions we make. One of the things I confront often, whether I'm speaking to
a group as I did this morning to head coaches in sports or whether I'm speaking
to senior executives or big companies or any of other organization, it's usually
the feeling that there's a difference between theory and practice. Ethics is one
thing to talk about. Everybody knows what we should say and do, but that's not
the real world. Yet, we in the real world-- in the real world nobody can afford
being that ethical all the time. I mean you'd lose stuff, you wouldn't get stuff
that you want, you know. Maybe you'd lose a job, what people look at as a-- oh I
need this for my job. Really I can lie and cheat and steal, but it's important
for me and my family. Really, if that was a good enough excuse than there's no
morality because everybody fights in their family and we're back to tribal
warfare with no standards. No, self interest is not a moral principle. It's a
natural human principle, there's nothing wrong with it as long as your pursuit
of self interest doesn't damage other people's pursuit of self interest or at
least in a way that is dishonorable or immoral. So, the first thing we want to
know is abandon the excuse of anybody who says that's not the way it is. I'm not
arguing that's the way it is. I'm arguing that's the way it ought to be. If
there's a gap between the is and the ought, you're either an idealist who's
trying to close the gap between the is and the ought, by trying to move the is
or the ought or you're a cynic or a pessimist who says, just accept it, leave
the gap. Forget about the ought because it's irrelevant. And in every profession
there are people who will make that argument because they don't have the
strength or the courage or the will or fight to say no, that's not acceptable
for a human being who wants to aspire to being worthy and being their best. And
so ethics is not about the way things are, it's about the way they ought to be.
And we don't have to be naive. You know people say, oh you're naive. I'm not
naive. I know what the real world is like, but I don't like it and I think I can
change it and I want to do what we can to change it and I hope you do too.
Another observation, ethics requires us to give up the idea that an act is
proper simply because it's permissible or that an act is ethical just because
it's legal. Sometimes that's as far as you go, okay. What can I do? What can I
get away with? What's legal? That's not a question that a person of character
asks. A person of character asks, what's the right thing to do? There may be a
debate on that. It's not an easy answer, but that's the question. It's not what
am I just allowed to do. So, there is an awful lot of conduct which is totally
legal, which is very bad. You can be nasty to your kids. You can be neglectful
to your spouse. You can not be prepared for class. You can do all these kind of
things and you can say this not good behavior, responsible or good, but it's
legal. So, what. So, the first point is to say we have to a higher standard than
just the notion of if I'm available; I must be a good person. An ethical person
often just chooses to do more than the law requires and less than the law allows
and again, if we're saying that the law is not the standard of ethics; that may
mean ethics might require you to do more than it says if you have to. And it may
require you to do less than it says you can. So, we get to the last of these
principles, the sequence. There's a big difference between what you have a right
to do and what is right to do, okay. Particularly these last two generations
have been very rights oriented. And you know, like kids from the beginning I
have a right to do this and I have a right to do this and you can't make me and
rights is very important concept. And there's a right fundamental issue in the
United States and democracies. Rights are really big deals. So are
responsibilities. And there is no right without a corollary responsibility and
the significance of this is, is that you have to make a judgment. Just because
you have a right to do it, doesn't make it right. Now, the purpose of all these
folks so far and statements is just to make it clear that there is a vast array
of human judgment that has to come into play in you deciding what kind of person
you want to be. What is a good person and how you ought to behave and you can't
pawn that off to somebody else who made the rules and say that that's really
good enough. So, you end up just saying what is happening? Now, normally I do
this by saying if you can interview the people who would date and marry your
children, what are the qualities that would be really critical to you. I always
point out it's a fiction, because you can't interview the people that would date
or marry your children, and take the opposite. But you know the fact is if you
got a picture of it, what are the things you want? I'm going to put up the first
one here, I think you want that person to be worthy of trust. You don't want
your son or daughter or somebody you love to be involved with somebody who
doesn't keep their promises, who lies, who's unfaithful. What's more toxic to a
relationship than dishonesty? So, the concept of trustworthiness is a concept
that I would argue is at the root of what we hope for for people in our lives,
right. But it isn't simply who marries your son or daughter, isn't that what you
want from your boss? Isn't that what your boss wants from his or her employees?
It's what we want from each other. We want honesty. We want to be able to trust.
What else, if you're ordering now? So, I put that on the table. Trustworthiness
is one of the qualities that I want if somebody is going to date or marry my
kids. What else?
>> Respect.
>> Michael Josephson: Respect. You absolutely want your child, good enough,
because it's the second one, and that is that you want to be sure that this
person treats your daughter or son with respect. Now, it's important to know
that respect is a little different than love and caring. The best example of
that is how many of you ever watched the I Love Lucy shows? Okay, funny shows,
but does Desi treat Lucy with respect or does Lucy treat Desi with respect? No,
they lie to each other all the time, he spanks her, you know. There are all
kinds of things that are really unique to the 50s you know that just take a
glance through that keyhole and realize that the way that relationships were
organized then was the male was clearly in demand. And so she plays the role of
a child much more than an equal. None of us I think would be satisfied with that
today, but he loved her, she loved him. It just wasn't respect. It was not a
built in situation. Have you seen parents who treat their children with
disrespect? Have you seen children that treat their parents with disrespect? So,
respect is this attitude of saying whether you like a person or not, and by the
way that's the real test. It's easy to treat somebody with respect when you like
them. The real test is if you're will to treat somebody with respect when you
don't like them. Not because they deserve it, but because that's who you are.
There's a story about a big debate the turn of the century in England and they
started to call each other names and the like and it got pretty, pretty you know
nasty and finally one the politicians says sir, I will treat you as a gentleman,
not because you are one, but because I am one. And that is an important kind of
think to recognize. Did your rules of civility get affected by other peoples,
well you started it. He was nasty to me first. That may well be true, but if you
did it you did it you know. Being nasty second isn't appreciated better than the
first person who was nasty. You know essentially blaming the other person. You
still had a choice didn't you? You had a choice whether to react on that level
or whether you would react some other way. So, the notion of respect is making a
decision to treat people better than they may deserve, because that's something
of who you are. Alright, now we've got two things. What else would you look to
order if you're ordering the perfect mate for your son or daughter, yes?
>> Responsible.
>> Michael Josephson: Responsible, gosh this is nice. This is not only perfect,
it's an order. Responsibility, now maybe you're reading from something I don't
know, but good work. In any event, clearly if somebody is going to marry your
son or daughter you don't want the kind of person that says I can't find a job.
Well did you look? Well I looked, but nobody is offering me a job. You know want
somebody that stood up and looked for a job, be self-reliant, be independent
right. Here's the problem irresponsible people are more fun. [Laughter] They
are. They don't have to go to work tomorrow. They're irresponsible you know and
so as a result you know when we see the TV shows and the like because almost
always it's this irresponsible cad who is loveable but totally unreliable. And
it's cute unless he's in your family you know or works for you. You know
irresponsible people make great dates and lousy mates. And so what we know is
that when we're talking about in any form of lasting relationship with somebody
we'd like to be able to count on them. You know we want to be able to count on
them, that they're accountable and they'll do what they say, etc. So, that's
important. Anything else in the order? Good. Honesty and honorable are excellent
and they're part of trustworthiness. So, we would include in trustworthiness,
integrity, honesty, loyalty, fidelity you know and those words that deal with
that cluster of things. Anything else while you're ordering? This is your chance
because if this is the only three qualities they have imagine what you might be
missing.
>> Fidelity.
>> Michael Josephson: Fidelity, yea and that is excellent and again, that's
normally part of this trustworthiness, the fidelity of being faithful through a
relationship, keeping your promises, keeping your commitments. Kindness, how
about that right? It could be kindness, compassion, caring any of those clusters
you know that you could really use. So, we certainly want someone to be kind or
caring, yes.
>> Courageous.
>> Michael Josephson: Courageous okay, and that's normally-- why do you want
them to be courageous? Do you want them to go jump into fires and to save people
or what do you mean by that.
>> [Inaudible audience comment]
>> Michael Josephson: I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you.
>> [Inaudible audience comment]
>> Michael Josephson: Okay, going after your dreams. Well why does that take
courage?
>> [Inaudible audience comment]
>> Michael Josephson: Okay, so you may hit roadblocks and have outsiders. So,
actually we're wanting two kinds of qualities that are important. Courage, which
means the ability to face the possibility of defeat or pain or fear and deal
with that and then you also have perseverance or tenacity, which is the ability
to keep going even when things are tough. Those are really important qualities
and we think they're part of responsibility. That's partly what it means. Well,
to save some time I'm going to tell you what you would have told me if we spent
some more time. You would have sometime, somebody would have said fairness. You
want them to be fair. We can't always go to his side of the family every
holiday, right or her side. I mean think about the notion of fairness. Your
movies, his movies, a relationship has to work on some division of you know
sometimes you get your way, sometimes I get my way right and there has to be
some notion of fairness. Then we have the one that was mentioned, caring,
whether its love kindness, caring, clearly that's critical. Surely you want the
person who's going to date or marry your children to love them, and cares about
them. The last one is often not mentioned, but I think it does play a role and
most people will agree with it, we call it citizenship. And that means just sort
of doing your share you know. You know if you have a roommate, pay your rent you
know when you're supposed to or when you're grandparents have a 50th anniversary
go to see them. It's that sort of communal thing, that living in a community,
that law abiding playing by the rules, etc. Now these six things, we call them
six pillars of character and they lend themselves to a very easy and mnemonic
called terrific, TRRFCC. And the idea of TRRFCC is simply that if you use this
as a matrix and really ask yourself, so is it ethical. I don't know what that
means. That's too broad. But if I say, okay if I do this am I being trustworthy?
Does it increase or decrease the willingness of people to trust them? If I do
this, am I demonstrating respect for all parties concerned? If I do this, am I
being responsible? If I do this is it fair? If I do this am I demonstrating
caring and compassion for others and am I being a good citizen? The point is
it's a matrix for which we suggest and we begin to look through our decisions
and understand that it's not okay to just have some of these. Sometimes people
are honest and have you ever heard the phrase brutally honest? What brutally
honest means is the way that honesty was expressed was brutal and hurtful and
not caring. So, you have to find a way to be honest without destroying someone.
It's not as if there's-- that they're inconsistent. You can be candid without
being mean or nasty, but the idea is we need all these characteristics. You can
be very caring but you're not honest if lie to people all the time to make them
feel good. The problem is I'll quickly loose credibility and even you're ability
to make them feel good disappears because you lose credibility and that becomes
part of the process. Now, what is character? With ethics it's the six pillars,
ethics is trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring and
citizenship, TRRFCC. And then you say well what is character? Character is
basically ethics in action. When we say, now you can have good character or bad
character, I only want to talk about good character. So, when we say somebody
has good character we usually mean that they are a good person and they're good
a person because they act consistent with those ethical values. Characters doing
the right thing even when it costs more than you want to pay, that's where your
courage comes in, certainly. That idea of the willingness to do the right thing
even when, ooh I might lose this job or this person may not like me, I might not
get an A in this class or whatever. You don't always get what you want and
sometimes if you're not willing to pay the dues, see-- see ethics and integrity
actually are part of dues. You never know when or how much, but every now and
then in your life, you're going to have to do something that costs. And you have
to do it because that's a price you pay to be in the integrity club. You know or
you don't get to stay in the club. And you can't whine about paying the dues.
Oh, I'm paying the dues. You know I lost this, but come on you're in the
integrity club you know. It's worth it but understand that; it's sort of doing
the trade off. I mean doing the right thing when it costs more than you want to
pay is the only way you demonstrate that integrity is real to you. I mean
everybody can do the right thing when they get everything they want and there's
no negative consequence. That's the point on character and the final forming of
a person's character lies in their own hands. You see a lot of people confuse
character with temperament or personality. There are certain inborn kinds of
reactions we have and so some could that temperament. I mean some people are
more curious than others. Some are more bold than others coming out of the box.
I have five kids, including four teenage girls and they came out of the box
differently. Each of them, and the same strategy that may work with one does not
necessarily work with the other, and a lot just you know, I guess it's in the
DNA. But it's not permanent. That's a disposition to do that. One of my children
who was extremely shy for the early part of her life is now the opposite. She's
going into theater arts. She's an incredible performer. So, who knows she either
outgrew it or she made a decision to change it. So, these are not permanent.
Character you're not born with. Character is in values, the ones you choose to
hold on to. You may have gotten some of these characters from your parents
initially, but you're going to choose at some point in your life you choose am I
holding on to it. You know, if you ask a nine year old if he's democrat or
republican, they'll normally tell you what their parents are, right. They don't
have a sense of that. They didn't choose whether they're democrat or republican.
But many are republicans, because that's maybe what their parents are, but at
some point you decide. It's the same with religion. You may come from a very,
very religious home, but at some point in your adult life you sort of assess is
this what I really believe? Is this what I really want and you hold on to it and
grasp it or you change it or the like. So, the point is your values are your
choice and your choices make your character. And so what Anne Frank said, "The
formation of a person's character lies in their own hands." She as a 13 year old
was expressing the insight that you know we can choose to be honest or not so
honest. We can choose to be cowardly or brave. We can choose to do all of these
things and that will ultimately make up what people call our character. And when
we choose enough virtues, positive things, they say oh, good you have a great
and admiral character. Now, one of the most important factors in your success
and personal happiness is your mindset. So, here we have this back trap of
ethics and character. What's going to determine how I make these choices? What's
going to determine for instance whether that concert pianist you know makes the
choice to help that boy? And I'm going to call it mindset. It starts out with
what is your predisposition or attitude towards something. So, for example how
many of you see a big arrow in this logo? How many of you see a big arrow, okay.
It's the Fed Ex logo, okay. You know it looks like 10 to 15 percent. Normally
it's anywhere from 20 to 30 percent. An overwhelming number of people did not
see the arrow in this logo, so now what. Do you see it now? Do you see where it
is, okay? Now that I showed you where it is, is it pretty obvious?
>> Yea.
>> Michael Josephson: Aren't you embarrassed that you were such a fool to not
have seen that arrow. I mean how could you have not seen that arrow? It's so
there. Do you think it's there by accident? No, the guy who invented this logo
was so proud of his arrow. He said I've got an arrow. It's Fed Ex. It's going
this way. It's saying movement only to later find out that almost no one ever
saw it. [Laughter] And half of the people that saw it is because they went to a
lecture like this and then somebody told them and you're going to go tell all
your friends, right. You're going to race down and say watch Fed Ex. No, a
couple of important things about this, number one: You did not see it before,
but you will never not see it again, right. It's just one of those things. Of
course, I'm going to see it again. It's there and it's obvious. Now, do you know
why you didn't see it initially? I guess some psychology experts here; do you
know why people don't generally see it?
>> It's a negative space.
>> Michael Josephson: Right, it's the white space or the negative space and we
are used to it, if we're going to look at anything we look for it here in those
big colored letters. The negative space or the white space is the stuff that we
cut out and throw away, right, you know if you had somebody with a scissors. And
so, it just doesn't occur to our mind. You didn't make a deliberate decision;
it's just the way you've chosen to look at things. I look at positive space, not
negative space. But now that I've shown you the secret to negative space, now
you begin to understand well, maybe there's a lot of other stuff that has
negative space. Maybe there's things that are in there all the time, intrinsic.
This is intrinsic to this logo. It's not an accident. It's not incidental. It's
absolutely intrinsic to the design and I'm going to suggest intrinsic to
everything in your life is character and ethics and it's equally the white space
in a sense, because you don't think about it every day. You're not making a
decision in order to be ethical. You're making a decision and it either
manifests or does not manifest to know the quality of your ethics, but it's in
everything. It's in every interaction you have. There is some way in which that
interaction can be evaluated in terms of one or more of those six core values.
Alright, so I'm going to evaluate what did you well. Was that trustworthy? Was
that responsible? Was that respectable? Was that fair? Was it caring? So, the
first thing we begin to realize is that character and ethics really is inherent.
It's intrinsic, but it isn't always obvious. And so we need to be very sensitive
about our understanding when might our character ethics be tested? When it might
be even being formed and we don't recognize that we're forming it at this
particular stage. So, the question is what does that at all say about you? What
kind of person do you want to be and how are you expressing your core values?
So, you have this idea of who you want to be. Are you talking about it? Are you
acting on it? Is this evident? Would somebody who knows you say this is what
really this person's about. I was talking about that for the coaches for
example. You know there are many coaches who have very good, solid basic values
but maybe are not as articulate or not as, as overt about sometimes promoting
those values to the young people. Yea, well, it's your choice. Do what you want
as opposed to trying to guide them in a values kind of way. But at least the
point is you've got to ask yourself about your own arrow and what is it saying
or meaning about you. Yes?
>> [Inaudible audience comment]
>> Michael Josephson: No you, that's probably true. Six pillars of character are
six core ethical values. They may or not be your values, okay. You understand
your values are what you believe. Now, I hope you believe in all six. I hope you
believe in being trustworthy, respectable, responsible, etc., but the six
pillars are this universal statement of poor ethical values. Whether you adopt
them or not is part of your choice and you adopt them side by side with lots of
other values. We have beliefs about all kinds of things you know beyond what's
right and wrong, just what you like and don't like, what works and what doesn't
work, etc., okay. So, see if you can read this. I hope-- some of you up front
can read it and then we'll tell the rest of you in the back what the game was.
They're highly jumbled letters.
[ Silence ]
>> Michael Josephson: The point of this little assignment was to show you
something I think is very important here. Your mind does amazing things and
without your request. Your mind translated that, that if you look at it word by
word is total gibberish, totally jumbled. It would be a shock that you could
read this, but you read it almost at the normal speed, because your mind looks
for patterns. Your mind does some things. Didn't ask you, it said I'll fix this
for you, I'll translate. So, one let's tap into the fact that our minds can do
so much more than we know and that they're always operating on a level that
we're not aware of, okay subliminal, subconscious call it what you will. That's
at least part of the issue to know that your mind is doing it. Well, why is that
relevant? Well, let's look at some other things. Now, how many arrows do you see
here?
>> Eight.
>> Michael Josephson: Almost everyone sees eight. How come, because I taught you
the Fed Ex trip, right [Laughter] and you carried it over? You applied it to
another setting. You got it. Now if I would have showed you this first, the vast
majority still only see four arrows. They're going to look at the black arrows
and they're going to see those arrows. But look how smart you've become in just
a matter of moments. I say I got it, a technique a strategy that says look for
the white space. You know I get it and I say that hey, that's easy there's eight
arrows there okay. Good, now what do you see here?
[ Silence ]
>> Michael Josephson: Many of you see or should see eventually lift and, but you
have to draw a line here in your mind. See here your mind has to do one more
thing. It not only has to see the white space, but it has to realize that
there's a logical possibility that there would be a line there and if there
really was a line there the word would be absolutely clear, right. I would just
have to draw the thinnest black line. And some of your minds did that, some
didn't, but that's a harder version of the previous one, right. But it's the
same principal but it gets more sophisticated. So, there's efforts. It gets more
principle. It gets more sophisticated, more complicated sometimes in life. But
the fact of the matter is now we're going to add to our tricks that yea, we look
at white space, but we also kind of look for patterns and to see whether or not
you know it's not as explicit but nevertheless it's still telling us. What it
looks like to me is if you just look at the things on the bottom, the checks,
you know those little you know all those little Lego things. Now, what do you
see here?
[ Silence ]
>> Michael Josephson: Now, if you've learned the mind trick of drawing lines,
you see an E, okay. Now that I tell you that if you didn't see the E before can
you see the E now? You draw the lines, the logical lines where they are. Many of
you are proud of yourselves you saw the E. Did you see the number 227?
[ Inaudible audience comments ]
>> Michael Josephson: Now, why didn't you see the number 227? First of all it's
sideways and you're not used to thinking sideways. Suddenly it's not a perfect 2
and a 227, but it's-- you can clearly see that. But here's another thing, you
stopped looking once you saw E. That was only one thing and everything right.
There's one meaning to everything. So, you said I saw the E, no you're not done.
There could be more. There can be more. You got to look deeper, see more. This
is the idea of beginning to understand how you see and your mindset, to change
that mindset to say you know I'm going to approach every problem on the
assumption that maybe there's lines I have to draw. Maybe there's white space
that's relevant here, stuff I don't know that I'm hearing about you know that
could be really relevant to this. And you know what, maybe there's more than one
lesson to be drawn from this or more than one thing to see in that. What do you
see here?
[ Inaudible audience comments ]
>> Michael Josephson: This is a very classic one and it's a relatively easy one
and one you all would have seen something first. You either saw the saxophone
player first, that's more normal because it's the darker one, but some of you,
because you're already looking for white space, and you're getting that point.
You say I can see where that's a lady's face, right. The white space and the
black lady's face, right. And the majority of people see both within a few
seconds, I mean they see one and then they see the other. Once you knew it could
be more than one thing. Now, why is this relevant? What is the nature of most of
our political dispute, discussion today? I'm right and you're an idiot. I mean,
it's that simple. It's summarized to that. I'm right and you're an idiot. And
maybe you're also evil, but for sure if you don't know that this is a saxophone
player you are just an idiot. It's a saxophone player. And the other person
who's not focusing on the saxophone player and sees a face says, you're an
idiot, it's a guy-- it's a woman's face. But in this relatively simple example,
they're both right, right. Many situations do not lend themselves to one single
correct observation. It could be that both, it is both of those things. What's
the relevancy? How many arguments? How many stories? How many situations you get
into where you have to say wait a minute, let me see the white space or let me
see, excuse me the dark space. What else could this be? Can I understand what it
is you see and why? Instead of me concluding that you see it and therefore
you're an idiot, if I'm willing to explore tell me why you see it that way. Why
do you want a flat tax or why do you want this or why do you want to drill oil
in Alaska or wherever it is? At least understand their point of view. You don't
have to agree with it, but you should see it. You should be able to describe it.
It should be clear to you what that view is and that at least usually softens
the view that the person is an idiot. You just disagree with them. I mean if
somebody says they like chocolate ice cream and you like vanilla, you don't say
you're an idiot, because you like vanilla. You say I get it, but I really think,
you know, chocolate is more superior. Okay, it's a matter of opinion. Do you
realize in politics everything is an opinion? There are so few facts. They are
articulated as facts as if they're certain because they're believed so strongly.
But you see people have a tendency to confuse the intensity of the belief with
the likelihood that they're right. And so the more intensely they believe
something, they more passionate that they are about that conviction, the more
likely no, this is the one and only way and this is right. It's an opinion. Some
of opinions are better than others because they're more informed. Some opinions
are just equal to others because they're just the way I see it, that's the way
you see it. When we understand their opinions we don't call the guy who likes
the chocolate ice cream an idiot. We just say you know I really prefer if we're
going to buy it for the cafeteria let's buy vanilla. You know if you can only
buy one ice cream, I want vanilla. And then maybe we have to vote. I want ice
cream what are we going to buy? And the vanillas win. It doesn't mean the
chocolates are idiots. It just means they lost you know that sometimes happens
in a democracy. But, how does that change your mindset for the person that
opposes you, to the person you disagree with. Right now our mindset is that the
person who disagrees with us is wrong. And they just have a different opinion in
most cases and it's so hard for you to unwind from that. Yea, but your opinion
is stupid. You know your opinion is based on false assumptions and sometimes
there are, sometimes there's logical flaws and opinions and I don't want to get
too detailed. So, you might be able to at least literally unwind some opinions
as being flawed because they're based on false assumptions or logic. But by and
large on the big issue, the big issue of abortion, the big issue of gay
marriage, the big issue of capital punishment. It's not a question of everybody
being a fool. It's a disagreement, a balance of values that come out
differently. And we don't have to accept their values but we should understand
them and respect that they have them and advocate for our position, you know as
strongly as possible. I want vanilla and I'm going to try to get all of you to
vote for vanilla, but without the animosity, without the derogatoriness that is
creating divisiveness, that's really harmful. And part of it is just mindset,
the mindset that I can believe something very strongly and somebody else can
believe something very different, very strongly and I can't claim moral
superiority to that person because of my belief. I can just claim it's what I
believe. Any comment or questions? What do you see here? Again, I'm sorry those
of you close will see it more. It's pretty far with the lighting, but this is a
very, very subtle venture. It's a harder version. Some people see a man looking
this way. Some people see him looking forward. It's really brilliant how the
artist did this. I mean it's one of these really great little optical illusion
things. But it's just a more sophisticated notion, I'm trying to get you, you
know into the level of interesting to profound. And you begin to see, wow that's
kind of amazing, that could be both a profile and a head on, just an easy one
because I thought it was fun. And in sports today what you see, some people see
a Spartan right away, others see a Belfor, right. Was an accident, no. The
logoist was so proud of that, you know ambiguity that he put in. Now what about
this? What you see depends on your vantage point. You see the candle and then
there's a rabbit. But the rabbit looks like a hat. If you only saw the shadow
and somebody said, what's in front of the candle? What would you describe? The
hat. If you only saw the rabbit and said what would that shadow look like, you'd
say well it kind of looks like a rabbit. But you know funny things in the
shapes, this particular confirmation of the rabbit and his ears looks like a
hand. So, can your mind play the bad tricks? We said it helps you. Sometimes the
mind helps you with the rabbit, but sometimes the mind says you should be sure
you testify in court that it was a hand. Another person would testify in court
that it was a rabbit. But you only saw part of it. The only part you get to see,
it all is when I see both, all three things and understand how it is that people
think it's a hand and how it is that some people can think it's a rabbit. Which,
how much bigger is car three than car one? Now, those of you especially in the
arts already know this trick. It's a trick of perspective. The reality is
they're exactly the same size. Now, I have done this 100 times and I would still
swear to God the last one is twice as big. I mean I just, you will not convince
me. I swear to God you are not nuts, this is not a trick, until I measure it.
And I so okay, let's look at the wheelbase. Here's the wheelbase of the really
big car. Oh, it's going to be really big compared to this wheelbase, right.
Damn. [Laughter] They really are the same size. So, another level of humility
has to enter into ethics, the humility of be careful about what you're certain
of. Be careful, sometimes what you see and how you interpreted what you see is
not accurate. And yet you at least have to have some humility about that because
when you're so darn sure, you can be so darn wrong. And if your mind can play
those tricks, you have to start saying how does it do it? Why does it do it?
When does it do it and try to understand a little better, just like you
understand the white spacing. So, once you understand the perspective trick you
know, you wouldn't be fooled by that again. You know, I can show you three or
four other variations that you go I don't believe this. In fact, I used to do
that and I deliberately fooled them by having one really bigger and they so
jumped to the conclusion, I know they're the same size, wrong. The last one is
bigger, because I don't want you to jump to conclusions. You don't have to
count, especially when you can measure or test it out. Now, talking about
perspective, mindset. A man comes upon three people who are carving stone out of
a quarry and he asks them what are they doing? The first person says I'm making
bricks from the stone. Ask the second guy, the second guy says I'm making the
foundation for a building. Third guy, I'm building a cathedral. Now, they're all
doing exactly the same thing, right. They're paid the same, they're sweating the
same, they're doing the same, but what difference does it make how a person
looks at his work? If you were trying to hire somebody to work for you and this
was one of the interview questions, is there anything about this answer that
would make you want to lean towards any one of these candidates? Is it? Well,
what would it be?
[ Inaudible audience comment ]
>> Michael Josephson: She says I would want the one who is building the
cathedral because he has a bigger picture and a larger view. Well, why is that
an advantage? Don't you want him just to make bricks? Just shut up and make
bricks, I don't need you're bigger picture, you know.
>> [Inaudible audience comment]
>> Michael Josephson: Ah, see from that, she says I would want to be involved in
and care about what they're doing. From this description of the last person, do
you have a sense that they find their work more worthy, more worthwhile? Do you
have a guess or a feeling that they'll work harder, they'll try more and they
have a greater sense of pride? Clearly; the first guy will be a terrific brick
maker, but you have a sense that he sees his job merely. You can see him getting
bored. You can see him hating his job, hating his life, all I have to do every
day is make bricks. But this guy is going to walk by this cathedral some day and
even though maybe fifty of those bricks he had any part you know, but in his
head he says, that's my cathedral. He shares in that, wow. He created for
himself, created for himself out of his mind this wonderful sense of reward and
worthiness because he chose to look at his work in the broadest possible way.
Now, how many of you here are teachers? Okay, now I'm going to tell you, what's
the brick builder in teaching? The brick maker in teaching, excuse me, is the
person who says I teach math. I teach social science, whatever it is, and I'm
the best damn social science teacher there is, you know. And sure enough you'll
teach it beautifully so you're kids will know that subject. There is nothing
wrong with that. We need really good teachers of that area. But what would you
call the equivalent of the person who says, I'm building a foundation. That
teacher would say, I'm teaching math, but I'm also teaching kids how to learn.
So, they learn other things as well, so the way in which they learn math is
going to be a transferable skill that I hope inspire them with some intellectual
interest. And so, I'm building a foundation in this young person so that they
not only can master my course, which they may or may not use in their lives, but
they're going to develop some attitudes and some skills that they will use. I
made a foundation. Wow, that's a good choice. Don't you want a twofer, a brick
maker and a foundation maker, but what's the cathedral maker? The cathedral
maker says I'm really help to shape this person as a human being, first. That's
the cathedral, the human being. And if I do my job right they're going to be
constructive, they're going to be helpful. They're going to be wonderful people.
They're going to win the Noble Prize, whatever. One of the favorite stories I
told those sports people today, and it's this famous story about this coach
called Amos Alonzo Stagg and he was an early football coach and he had a winning
season. His team was undefeated and he was asked the question, is this your best
team Coach Stagg? He says, "Well, I won't know that for 20 or 30 years"
[Laughter] because he built cathedrals. He was measuring himself not on just the
victories, not on just the championship, but he says, well I'm a coach and if
you want to know if this is my best team ever. I want to know what kind of human
beings he's turned out. Because if they turn out to be really good human beings,
maybe it is the best team I ever had. That's my cathedral. So, do we not want
teachers who are willing to invest the little extra effort, the little extra
time, the genuine caring and compassion to say, I don't care about you as a
student. I care about you as a person. Now, in math class this isn't always
easy, but there are interchange possibilities. There's ways in which you express
yourself. There's the stories you might share about yourself. There are things
that you could do that if you chose to, if one of your goals at the end of the
day is not only that they'll score on the AP test and get the score of five that
you want, but they're also going to be good learners and basically good people.
You have to be concerned with character. You have to be concerned with values.
That's what it is. That's how you build this cathedral. We have to be concerned
with are we doing anything to instill in these young people this sense of
values, the sense of who they are so that we could say I'm proud of that. I was
part of that, that person I helped shape and bring that. So, if you change your
perspective you change the way you experience the world. Change your perspective
from the brick builder to the cathedral maker. You've just changed your
experience of the world. You've changed your own experience from being somebody
who has a mundane, boring job that you can't wait to be over from somebody who
says, hey what I'm doing is important. It's still had work. It's still sweating
but you know what, it's worth it because look what I am a part of. And so when
you have a crappy day and you all will. No matter what job you're in you guys
will have crappy days. You know and just so okay, I sweat when I work but it's
worth it. It's worth it because of what I'm building. Now, let's look at this
video, I hope. I'll try it this way; otherwise I'll go out of the mode I taught
the lesson. Many of you maybe have seen that before. I know it's been on YouTube
a lot but it's a really interesting statement of values. In the normal sports
values you don't help an opponent to get a homerun. Certainly there was no law
requiring that. In fact, they had to be sure they were allowed to do that. Why
did they do it? They said it just felt like the right thing. Why do people cry
when they see that? Do you really think that old coach cries that often? Just
take a look at that face again and you know do you have a sense that this
probably a guy that cries a lot in his coaching, you know. And yet, when you
thought about this, now here's the instinct, his player's he's so proud of them.
He never taught them that, never taught them that. But maybe we should be
playing these kinds of videos to get to teach them that, to show people cry. I
mean okay it's nice. It's sweet, but why do you cry when you see just a softball
game with significance in terms of somewhere in Oregon. Anybody have a theory on
that? Yes.
>> You don't see it everyday.
>> Michael Josephson: You don't see it everyday, that's true. But you don't cry
at everything that's unusual. You can say I didn't see that before you know, a
two headed snail but you're not probably going to cry. So, beyond the uniqueness
of it and I think you're on to something, but I want to push you a little
further. What it is that you don't see?
>> That kind of reaction from people.
>> Michael Josephson: Yea, that kind of unselfishness, whatever that kind of wow
just spontaneous thing, yes.
[ Inaudible audience comment ]
>> Michael Josephson: Now a couple of things she said that in sports today kids
are taught to win at all costs, but in this case his girls stood up and didn't
do that. First of all I just wanted to caution you about fairness. Not all kids
are taught to win at all costs. Not all coaches teach that. And we need to be
fair about that, that's one model of coaching, right. One part of this optical
illusion I give you is coaches who teach win at all costs. There are a lot of
coaches who don't teach like that and that's equally true. They're just two
different philosophies about it. But, in any event in this case we don't know
frankly how this coach is taught. We know that he was awfully proud of his girls
once that really happened. Would you be proud of them if they were your school?
If this was Northridge, you know Cal State Northridge, I mean how great would
that make you feel? But what are we doing to produce that. It's almost like it
happened despite how we act rather than because we're creating a culture that
might nurture this kind of decision to start with. Now, I'm not going to say
with coaches or anybody else you want people to help the other team win, and of
course not. These are purely situational things. They happen, they're
spontaneous and you react. It's like the person who helps somebody out and they
fall. You know, to a good person it's an instinctive thing. You just do that.
It's not a question of strategy or not strategy. You know it's a question of
what you are, what are your values? And this is a great thing of values. I'll
show you another video by the Trailblazers. And by the way at that time they had
a pretty bad reputation; they were called the Jailblazers, because they had so
many different players in trouble. Why did he come out to do that? He didn't
know this girl. It wasn't his job? He's at college and he saw somebody and he
helped her. It wasn't because he was proud of his voice, you know. Can you
imagine how much kidding and ribbing he must have took afterwards, you know good
natured, but biased, because obviously that's not his strength. But he was
willing to subject himself even to that just to help a little girl. The first
one I showed you the concert pianist that was a PowerPoint, it was made up. This
one is real. This really happened. What does it tell you about his values? How
did it make you feel? Look how we feel when somebody does the right thing. Look
at the power, the intensity of just that sort of contains you, to say, wow, what
a decent, human thing to do; decent, human thing to do. Why are they so rare?
It's because the payoff is great. I mean, in each of these cases whether it be
the concert pianist or whether it was the girls who sacrificed to let the kid
run the bases or whether it's-- they all benefited from that, their act of
generosity. I mean they were heroes. People, I mean you get two million hits on
this YouTube video kind of thing. So, you really do get paid off, now you don't
want to do it for that, but then it's just a genuine sense of honest. But if you
do the right thing it does seem to pay off, you know! Because people like that,
they admire the one that did that more often. And I understand it is being done,
it can be done. It's really being done all the time. We just don't focus on it.
We don't catch it. We don't see it and we need to do it more. People are doing
wonderful things all the time; they're just not visible where it's open. Let's
make a note. Let's celebrate it. Let's be grateful for it. There are people that
are doing that. If you can change your mind you can change your life. If you can
change your mind, you can change your life. Oh sure, there's a few more values
meaning beliefs I'd like you to believe and accept that would help. Oh, I want
to show this one first, I have another video here. Optimism is a mindset.
Optimism is somebody who says I'm not sure how it's going to go out, but I think
it's going to be fine. You know positive attitudes are a mindset. The truth is
all sorts of people have negative mindsets. I'm one of them by disposition. I
try to train myself to have a positive one, but the way go it's always what's
going to go wrong and this is bad and the glass is definitely half empty, you
know and the like. And many of you, now we know the historical or biological
reason is fight or flight you know if you're more cautious you look at things
with that little sort of suspicion or skepticism you can protect yourself
better. I'm not sure if that's the theoretical, psychological justifications
I've heard for it and that might be perfectly valid. But the fact of the matter
is the difference between people with a positive mindset seems enormous in the
way they live their lives. First of all people with positive mindsets are way
more successful. All kinds of reason are logical, one they don't [Inaudible]
because you know a positive mindset, oh it didn't work out let me try again. You
do this again, so they're still at it. Second of all, they're much more fun to
be with you know and they're more interesting, you like people, I mean-- don't
all of them have at least one incredibly downer friend? [Laughter] That you just
have to fortify yourself when you're saying I want to be a good friend, I really
want to be a good friend, but they're just sucking the life out of me, you know.
Now, here's the sound thing, do you know some of you are that friend. [Laughter]
I mean for some reason think it's useful for you to unload on your life, and I'm
the victim and this is happening. Who does that help? Now, if at the end of it
you say, I feel so much better, okay maybe they have to suffer for your benefit.
But usually you don't feel any better. You look for the next person to bring
down with you. How many more people can I bring to this dark spot of mine? And
the fact of the matter is there are people who are naturally depressed. And I'm
not talking about clinical depression and things, I'm not making light of that.
I'm talking about just negativism. You know I'm talking about you have a choice.
If you look at this thing, I really had a major challenge with that recently in
my life when they canceled my radio show because that was something I came to
rely on. It was on for 15 years it was the-- it was the longest series that they
had really in the United States of that kind of thing. I was very proud of it.
People would come up to me and I heard your-- and I loved that, because I could
say anything I wanted and share it. And then the program manager said we don't
want to do this anymore. And my first reaction was what a jerk. I can't believe
this, you know we ought to start a revolution let's you know join march on this
radio station. You know and then all this wouldn't matter. It's a drop of sand
in terms of what their significance was. And from that resentment I just started
to say, what would I do to myself? You now what would I say to me if I'm doing
this? And it's great, oh actually coming from Dr. Seuss, "Don't cry because it's
over, smile because it happened." And I realized that's stupid; no it isn't
stupid. How damn lucky was I to have 15 years of a platform to say anything I
wanted and so few opportunities that are that free. No editorials. Nothing, I
post them they wouldn't even know you know. They trusted me. By the time I did
it I went home, posted it on the internet, it's there. I had 15 years and so I
could moan, oh it's not going to be anymore. I said, wow and it did make a
difference for me, it really did. It was the switch to say what a whiner you
know. So, what you know. And then once you get to that positive attitude then
you can move on and say, I still want to do this. So, what am I going to do? So,
I created the app. So, now you can get the What Will Matter app and so I'm still
doing it and so other people are hearing it. I'm doing a special version now for
kids and high schools and middle schools. It's called, "Something to Think
About." And we're giving it free to the schools and start sending it around. So,
it was a new opportunity. It was a new platform, but I could have moaned and
whined and did, for a little while. And it's just stupid you know, and so this
recognition that this kid taught the lesson. Maybe I'm not the greatest hitter
in the world. Maybe I'm a good pitcher. And at least if I think so I feel good
about it, so even if it's not true it's a good thing. One more, mindset,
perspective has everything to do with how you live your life. It's not the
circumstances you live in. Can you imagine somebody with worse circumstances,
literally born with no arms and no legs? The parents facing that plus the
parents had to face his issue and what they were going to do. And as you can
guess the parents didn't give up. They pushed him to go to school. They pushed
him to do things. They pushed him to do the things that he felt he couldn't do
until they raised a really confident young man, an incredibly confident young
man who has no legs. But is he living a miserable life, no. That doesn't mean--
I'm sure he has his moments and things but he found something fulfilling to do.
He's touching all these lives. He's turned around. Now if anybody had a right to
feel bitter about their life I want the next time you start moaning about you're
sad because the brother you have has more of the money than you're making or
your job you have or your kids are misbehaving or whatever it is that's bringing
you down, think of this guy. Your troubles are nothing you know compared to
what-- but he had a choice. That was the cards he was dealt. You cannot change
your circumstances always, but you can change how you react to your
circumstances and that changes your circumstances in a different kind of way.
And you chose to make the best of it and it's inspirational to us all in a major
way because we know that there are times when we felt down on things that were
far less than this, but it still feels real and it's real. But get yourself back
up was his message and if you pull yourself back up and get yourself back up you
know, there's a different life out there. But it's perspective. How did he look
at his disability? There are a minority, but some substantial number of people
who have somehow turned their disabilities into a blessing. It's either helped
them drive-- Helen Keller, an astonishing lady, a miraculous woman who obviously
would not have been all she was without another astonishing, miraculous woman in
terms of her teacher, but she was deaf and blind and couldn't talk. Surely there
is no hope for that, but why do we know the name of Helen Keller. She wrote some
of the most interesting things and was a tremendous influence on people. But she
couldn't see, she couldn't hear and she couldn't talk, but she could think.
We're finding out that some kids who have autimism, I'm saying it wrong, autism
yea, I knew that, sorry, but have autism. I actually have an inner mind, there
was this thing I saw recently where on a computer and they had no idea what they
knew and what they were thinking and be able to do that and they were writing
books and having influence and things of that nature, it was so wonderful. It
was a wonderful opportunity and just, and opened their eyes to it. What a sad
thing to deprive ourselves of the possibility of a sense of joy, happiness and
optimism. Instead of how I started this lecture, isn't it terrible how bad the
world is. I've cut into that, but say isn't it terrific that it isn't that bad.
There are just some good things and I get to make it for what it is. So there's
the don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. So, there's the
don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. That's a value. That's a
belief. I choose to believe that one. How about this one, pain is inevitable,
suffering is optional. What does that mean? It means we can't avoid pain. People
will die. I'll get hurt. I'll get sick, okay but whether I suffer is the choice
of how much I dwell in it. Do I dwell in it? There's some people who live of
life of resentment and grudges. And they deliberately, although they don't think
they are, lock themselves in a dark dungeon because they are playing the old
tapes over and over again of how they were a victim and how they despair. I
don't want to minimize it. They may, in fact, had a horrible, horrible thing.
The parents of this young man could have been that way. They could have stayed
in the dark dungeon, oh there is no God. There is no this. I can't believe this
horrible thing, but the only thing that's amazing about this dungeon is the door
is unlocked. All you got to do is get up and walk through it. Say, I refuse to
be a captive of my worst thoughts. I refuse to be a captive of my worst
experiences, because it's stupid. It doesn't help anybody and I waste the life I
still have to live. But it's that, why would anybody do that. Holding grudges, I
love the phrase you know holding onto a grudge is like holding onto a hot stone
and hoping it will hurt the other person. [Laughter] You now you holding a
grudge, do you think it really hurts that other person. No, it's just you, but
you'll-- I'll show you, I'll be miserable. And you'll be responsible for my
misery and the more miserable I am the more you'll suffer, wrong! Choices,
mindset, responsibility, take the choice to have a positive attitude. Teach a
positive attitude. Model a positive attitude. When you find yourself sinking
into the negative, as you will, we all do from time to time. Literally force it
out, go away! Go away, I do not entertain you. You are not welcome here. I
refuse to dwell on you. So, you go exercise. You distract yourself. You do
something else, but don't allow this person to get into your head, because it's
stupid. And it prevents you from being the best person you can be. But here's
the good news, I mean it's not just like this like a self-help lecture because
if you feel that way you're going to be so much better to other people. That's
what I'm concerned with too, going to that next level. Yea, I want you to be
happy but I know if you're happy you're going to be a better friend, a better
mother, a better father, a better whatever, because you know what, that's the
way the cycle goes. We already talked about is the glass half empty or half
full? And of course, the answer is it's both. But, I mean my God it's half gone
already. I still have a half a glass left. Picture the hitter and it is purely
attitude and you can choose that attitude. You may not naturally choose the
positive attitude. You may have to train yourself to do that, but you can and it
will make a huge difference in your life and the lives of those people in your
life. So, another question, what roles does integrity play in our life. Okay,
well here's one coach who said whatever edge you can get if there are no
ramifications, you might as well push it. In hockey, if you're not cheating,
you're not trying. Hey, that's one approach. Here's another one from a football
guy. Everybody cheats, after that initial handshake, anything goes. The code of
honor and respect probably ends when they toss the point. And there are
undoubtedly, I want you to again visualize those optical illusions on two sides.
There are a whole bunch of people who are on the dark side and they truly
believe it. But, there's another position as well. Let's look at this one.
That's a choice for Mr. Juno, and first of all the key line. It's a choice. What
did integrity mean to him? That game meant a lot. It meant a lot to the
community. It meant a lot to the kid. It meant a lot to the golfer, but so did
the sense of honor in that game. And what he says is, "I'll know." And so he
did. That's a very different perspective than I should you a minute ago of the
hockey coach and the football player and the idea is where does integrity play
in your value system? Is it, that's nice but sometimes too expensive? Or is it
who you are and you say whatever price you had to pay, this is the price he had
to pay? He doesn't win the game. Now, would anybody do this in real life today?
Just last year a golfer named Ryan Davis did it and lost 400,000 dollars. He had
a backstroke where he hit some weeds. Nobody saw it, nobody saw it. In fact,
when he reported it they had to play the video three times to see it themselves,
but he knew it. And he was in the finals for the big playoff and it cost him
400,000 dollars. Yea, there are people who will do that. There are people who
say, yea it's just money and whatever, but this is my integrity. I only have
that once. What role does it play in your life? Here's another video with
another perspective on that. They had a big program in Puerto Rico and somehow I
used the wrong version of it, but basically this is a situation where this
fellow had-- it was the movie, "Cool Runnings" you know where the team from
Jamaica is actually doing the bobsled. It was pretty easy to get into it, but
not to win and the guy who was the coach had cheated. And he was asked why he
cheated and he basically said because it wasn't enough and then I realized if
you're not good enough without a gold medal, you're not good enough with it. So,
he had helped and the gold medal was going to change his life. That's what that
one was about. Sorry about that. Oh, I'll skip this one. The, now I can go back
to my slides. There's a story about this master carpenter. He worked for a
developer for maybe 30 years. And they were a good team, this developer would
buy these great plots of land and they would design and build these buildings
and sell them for a whole lot of money. But basically the builder only got a
small portion of that, it was really the developer. Well it came the time when
the builder said to his friend the developer, look it's time. I just want to
retire. I want to build a little house for myself and my wife and we're going to
do this and I want to retire. And the developer said, well just build me one
more house, you know just one more house please. And he said, alright and so
this design he said, you know I bought this magnificent piece of land with this
phenomenal view and I need you to be the one that builds the house. So, they had
the design and he starts to build the house and then the man says for all your
years of service I really thank you and he gave him a 20,000 dollar check. Now
that's a lot of money, but he thought for the millions of dollars he had made
for the developer, he was really resentful. So, that's it 20,000 dollars. So,
while he was building the house he kept thinking about that and he kept taking
shortcuts. He just wanted to get done with it, where he was known to be a
perfectionist, you now everything had to be right. Maybe the floors weren't
exactly straight. Maybe there was a thing here, but mainly he knew. To the-- it
looked good but he just wanted to get out. This is it, 30 years I just want out
of this. So, he finishes the house and he offers it to the developer. Wow, it's
magnificent because it looked beautiful. Everything looked fine. Only the
builder knew how many shortcuts he had taken and the defects that were in it.
And he says I knew you could do it. This is fantastic. This is a magnificent
view. I've always loved this piece of land and here's the keys and the deed.
[Laughter] Now, the significance was he misjudged his friend, but more than that
he will live his whole life in a house he built without integrity. He will know
from that creek in the floor. He will know from the unstraight wall or whatever
it is and that's part of the notion of integrity. You don't do it because
someone else deserves it. You don't do withhold it. It has to be who you are.
And when you're seduced by your own anger or your own resentment or your own
misanticipation to be less than you can be, you end up living in a house that is
not who you are and what it could be. What role does sportsmanship play in your
life? Now I understand that this is not just an athletic group, but I want
this-- sports is sort of relevant. Some stories I want to share with you. You
start with this thing from the Olympics. This is a true statement. The most
important things in the Olympic game is not to win but to take part just as the
most important thing in life is not to triumph, but to struggle. The essential
thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well. Everybody applauds that.
Is it real? Is it true? Is that going to be enough for the people who coach for
you, you know. Are you going to require that yea, go for the glory but win,
because if you don't win you got three years you know to go for the glory. And
that's a real challenge in terms of what does this mean. That was the Olympic
ideal. The Olympic ideal is to bring the world's finest athletes together,
knowing they're all incredible athletes and saying go at it, do your best. You
know the word competition comes from the Latin root "Competere", which means to
strive together. And that's a very important concept because real competition
your opponent is not your enemy. In fact, it brings out the best in you. If you
want to run your fastest race, run it with somebody who is faster than you are
or at least as fast as you, right. If you want to improve your game, fight
somebody's whose really good you know. Fight somebody that you can't fight and
you celebrate that moment of wow, we both were at our best. Maybe I did better
this time, maybe you did. Why can't I glory in I did my best. And that's all you
can ever do and that is victory. Now, that was till better. The championship was
still better and you want to go for that. And if that's your whole life, I
remember during that day at the Olympics, the Atlanta Olympics that Nike had a
slogan and I hated truthfully that said, "You don't win the silver, you lose the
gold." Think about that, you don't win the silver-- so the second best athlete
in the whole wide world should feel like a failure when everybody who is at the
Olympics should feel like a success. I had the honor of teaching all the
Olympians in 2008 a whole series of things about being ambassadors for the
country and all. And they're young people. They're young, who don't even
necessarily understand the significance of their natural representation who say
all their lives they've been an archer or badminton or you know whatever the
sports are that they play. But the fact of the matter is that that Olympic ideal
is an ideal of life too. Is of life, just not sports, so you wanted to be a
singer or you wanted to do this, you don't always get what you want. That
doesn't mean you can't have a good life. And that's the key, not getting what
you want is okay, but get something else then. And the point is that is that
this notion of having fought well isn't significantly weighing on the sports.
I'm going to do my best. I'm going to hang in there. I'm going to try to make
this work, and if I know I did my best, maybe it's a relationship that's not
working out well. At least know you did your best. Don't run away from it at the
first drop of trouble, you know. You got to hang in there a while. Now you don't
just have to punish yourself forever and stay in it, but you know can you at
least at the time say I really gave it a shot. You know, I couldn't think of
anything more to do, then you're okay. Then you should feel okay about yourself
and say that's what I was morally responsible to do. You know the story about
Jessie Owens and Luz Long. Jessie Owens in the 1936 Olympics, obviously a black
man, Berlin, Nazi Germany, the stands were full of Nazis with the swastikas and
Hitler had already said if any Negro had won they would not shake their hand and
it was a big deal. And Jessie Owens was then our country's best runner and best
broad jumper; that's what they called it back then, now it's the long jump, but
it used to be called the broad jump; it's in the Olympics. And in those days you
didn't have to coach on the field. You didn't have your personal coaches. I mean
it was so different. These athletes are sort of like just there, okay. So, he's
there trying to qualify for the broad jump. And on his first two jumps he foot
faulted you know and he crossed the little rubber thing and if he foot faulted
one more time he'd be disqualified. He'd never really get into the finals and so
it's this big very [Inaudible] looking guy walks up and he didn't know him. And
he takes a towel and he puts it about three inches before the jump and he says
jump off of this and then you won't foot fault. And he did and he qualifies.
Well, that man was Luz Long and he was the German jumper. He took the silver and
Jessie Owens got the Gold that set a world record that lasted for a very long
time. But more than that, this athlete, Luz Long when Jesse Owens won went arm
and arm with him around the ring with the flag, in front of Hitler, because he
felt that this was another great athlete. That's a concept of sportsmanship.
That's concept of courage and something that's really extraordinary isn't it;
1961 Winter Olympics you have Eugenio Monti, who's doing the bobsled, it's the
bobsled again, coming for the Italians and they were leaders. The Italians
hadn't won medals in years and years. So, he's one of the great for the
Italians. Maybe we can win on that one, you know and sure enough he was in a
very good position to win. And he had finished his run and then one of the other
sledders who was also one of the front runners and leaders, a fellow named Tony
Nash, came up and found out that his bolt to his sled had broken. And there
wasn't enough time to get a new one from his place and then he would have been
disqualified. Eugenio Monti was then down at the bottom run had heard this and
he quickly took the bolt out of his sled, because he had finished his run and
sent it up. Tony Nash put it in and had the run. Now, it would have been nice if
Eugenio Monti would have won, but he didn't; Tony Nash won. Now, he got
pilloried by his press, you know. I can't believe it. You gave up our gold
medal, you know. You did this. You didn't have to do it. Why would you do a
thing like that? And he said Tony Nash won not because he had the fault but
because he had the fastest run. And the sportsmanship award now that's given out
at every Olympics is named after Eugenio Monti. Nobody would ever know his name
otherwise. Why would you know an obscure bobsledder from Italy? And it's because
he got real immortality by an act of such generosity, but spontaneous generosity
and these happen all the time. I mean I don't mean all the time like every
single day, but lots have happened. There was one just recently in soccer where
I guy called a play on himself where it hit his hand and the referee had given a
goal to his side. And he said no it really hit my hand. It's not a good goal in
a big soccer-- these things do happen. And we have to understand because there
are people who say, you know what, life is too short for me to sell out on them
for the temporary experience of a particular kind of win. Attitude, I'm going to
just share with you and close with what I call winning attitude. So, here's some
values that I would like you to have if you will. Here's some things I suggest
that you believe that will change your lives, okay. One: The choices you make
today will shape tomorrow. Two: Every act has a consequence. Three: Pleasure
last for a moment, but happiness lasts longer. And understand the difference
between pleasure and happiness and the things that cause them. Be careful, just
because it feels good doesn't make it good. You can tell that's especially for
you young people in the back. [Laughter] I don't even feel anything anymore so
it's-- folks generally are as happy as they're willing to be. And think about
that, folks are generally about as happy as they're willing to be. That's a
particularly interesting thing. You can see who is depressed. You know Lincoln
fought depression all his life. You know but he kind of knew he was locking
himself into that. People are as happy as they're willing to be. How about this
one: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, Eleanor Roosevelt.
They can act like they're inferior. They can call you inferior but the feeling
of inferiority is entirely in your control. Don't expect too much or settle for
too little. Don't expect anyone else to make you happy, but don't allow others
to treat you badly. Hang on-- hang out with people who bring out the best in you
and be behind a person who brings out the best in others. Life is too short to
be little. Life is too short to be little, Benjamin Disrali. Your life is your
ship. You are the captain. Don't let anyone else take the wheel. It's easy to
dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our
responsibilities. What is popular is not always right and what is right is not
always popular. Getting personal: The most important reason to be concerned
about ethics is its impact on your own reputation and credibility and whether
you bring honor or dishonor to your family, because you set in a network of
people who are affected by who you are and whether you bring the best. No one
ever said on their death bed, I wish I spent more time at the office. So, when
you think of the values and how you're prioritizing things, to be thinking about
that, if you want to know how to live your life, think about what you'd like
people to say about you after you die, and then live backwards. Our souls are
not hungry for fame, comfort, wealth or power. Our souls are hungry for meaning
or the sense that we have figured out how to live so that our lives matter, so
the world would be at least a little bit different for our having passed through
it. I want to close with a poem; I have a few of them up here. I don't know if
enough, but they're also on our website, by the way, characercounts.org is our
website. And if anybody wants the slides just give me a card or something with
your email on it and I'll get Vi to send you all the slides. But this poem is
called, "What Will Matter." Ready or not, some day it will all come to an end.
They'll be no more sunrises, minutes, hours or days. All of the things you've
collected, whether treasured or forgotten will pass to someone else. Your
wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance. It will not matter
what you were owed or what you own. Grudges, resentments, frustrations and
jealousies will finally disappear. So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to
do lists will expire. The wins and losses that once seemed so important will
fade away and it won't matter where you came from or what side of the tracks you
ended up on in the end. It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant.
Even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant. So, what will matter? How
will the value of your days be measured? What will matter is not what you bought
but what you build, not what you've got but what you gave. What will matter is
not your success, but your significance. What will matter is not what you
learned, but what you taught. What will matter is every act of integrity,
compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered, encouraged others to
annihilate your example. What will matter is not your confidence but your
character. What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many people
will feel a lasting loss when you're gone. What will matter is not your
memories, but the memories of those that loved you. And what will matter is how
long you'll be remembered, by whom and for what. Living a life that matters
doesn't happen by accident. It's not a matter of circumstance. It's a matter of
choice. Choose to live a life that matters. Thank you very much.
[ Applause ]
>> Lauren Nile: Thank you Mr. Josephson on behalf of everyone here. I heard you
last spring and you were just as inspiring today as you were then. So thank you
so much for that message. It is 4:00, so I would suggest--
>> Michael Josephson: I will stay after to talk and answer questions.
>> Lauren Nile: Informally if people have questions. Okay. So, if you do have
any questions for Mr. Josephson and would like to make any comments, please feel
free to come up. He's generously offered to stay and interact with whomever
might want to ask him a question or make a comment. So, I'd like to thank
everyone on behalf of Human Resources and faculty development for coming out.
Please come and support all the other programs. I can't say that they are
equally as good, but they are quite good. So, go to the professional development
website. Look at the middle column at the top and you'll see all of the
offerings that we have for the rest of the academic year. Thank you again
everyone. You were wonderful. Thank Mr. Josephson once more for that
incredible--
[ Applause ]