Hi Shreadability | North From New York




Uploaded by vice on Oct 26, 2011

Transcript:

MALE SPEAKER: What's going on back there?
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: That's old Chief Two Beers, little
dismount before the trip.

Hopefully they're done before it gets dark.
Just busted him.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
BRAD GERLACH: He calls me and says, hey man, let's go do
some motorcycle riding.
Bring it on, dude.
I'm ready to go.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
How do you-- hey, how do you [INAUDIBLE] gas [INAUDIBLE]?
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Lefty loosey, righty tighty.
BRAD GERLACH: Yeah, I know that, but I mean did you press
it down or something?
Great, got to get it on footage.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, Chris.
How do you get the gas tank open, man?
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: You just do.
BRAD GERLACH: Spin it?
I looked at a couple of his boards.
I was like, oh man, this guy looks like he
knows how to shape.
I just called him up to--
hey, I want to get a board.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: The conversation was probably like
five minutes on the phone before I even knew who he was.
BRAD GERLACH: When he really knew it was me after a while,
I was like, oh shit.
Sorry, dude.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: What was your last name again?
He's all, Gerlach.
I'm like, oh OK, OK.
BRAD GERLACH: He's kind of a grump, you know, so--
He's [GROWLING], you know?
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: It's a big commitment to sponsor
someone like Brad.
These guys are like 50 boards a year.
And I don't have those cards in my deck right now.
BRAD GERLACH: Oh, we just ended up becoming friends.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Friends are first to me anyway, so--
Brad seems like a complete nut.
And he is a complete nut.
And he's always a good time, and you never
know what to expect.
BRAD GERLACH: Those are called "foors," fake doors.
Do you ever do that with words?
You put two words together like sweaty
balls, "swalls." Woo!

"Swalls!"
The exciting part was that we're going to meet in New
York, pick the bikes up in New York City, and then head up
north to New England.
And I'm always looking for waves.
And I'm always in some car, boat, or airplane.
And the most comfortable way to go looking for waves is on
motorcycle, for sure.
It's really fun to cruise with one of your best buds.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Obviously we have surfing in common.
But when we get together, it's kind of like the last thing we
usually talk about.

BRAD GERLACH: Think about when we first got going in New
York, couple times driving along, and then all of a
sudden going like--
I had a couple of visions of eating it and I was like, OK
just let it go.
Let it go.
Because it's just like [SIGHING].
Think about it.
You can just eat it so easily.
You're just like, splatter.

Hey, cheers.
Here's to not eating shit, huh?

That guy just threw a cigarette butt at you.
[INAUDIBLE]
Welcome to the Hamptons.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: This guy needs to ride
a motorcycle backwards.
Look at that hair.
BRAD GERLACH: Which guy?
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Right here.
BRAD GERLACH: What?
That's who you're talking about.
That's who he's talking about.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: No, there's another one.
BRAD GERLACH: There's another one?
The guy with the--
oh.
What?
The guy with the blonde hair?
Now he stopped talking and looked over and said--
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Yeah, we're talking to you.
What the fuck you want?
BRAD GERLACH: We're just wondering where we
could get the same--
is that a beanie?
Because that's cool shit, man.
I need that.
I need that.
I need that.

CHRIS CHRISTENSON: There she is, the mighty Atlantic.
BRAD GERLACH: Oh, shit.
Pumping.

CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Think we're going to surf this whole trip?
BRAD GERLACH: Oh, look at that little--
maybe low tide.

CHRIS CHRISTENSON: There's definitely a swell.
Those tides are so high.
BRAD GERLACH: Yeah.

Settle down, would you?

CHRIS CHRISTENSON: If we can find it where the beach maybe
like goes in and then hooks around that way, it'll
probably pick up swell.
BRAD GERLACH: We don't have any surf connection up here.
Like there's enough swell right now where people are
like, oh god, you could've come around the corner.
It was was like four feet and pitching out.

Oh you guys are playing around a shore break.
Stingy and Doobag are over here doing four foot aerial
reverse and varials and shuvits and what not.
Because the waves offer that kind of playfulness, you know?
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: See that right there?
BRAD GERLACH: Maybe.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Let's go up another 20 more mansions.
BRAD GERLACH: Chicken!

Honey, I shrunk the kids.
Look at that thing right there.
Paddling into it, you're seven inches tall.
You and me are hooting because that thing feels like it's
about 30 feet.
Look at that right.
Look at it.
Off the bottom, boof into the lip, around that, we're in
France by supper.
You're on that next one.
Whoa, big cut back, float that section, come around there.
[MAKING SOUNDS]
Bam.
[MAKING SOUNDS]
Bang.
[MAKING SOUNDS]
Air reverse.
Oh god, see.
I told you.
Just around the corner.
I neglected to mention that Stinger or Doobag are only two
inches tall.
Let's get out of the leathers.
This board here was a gift from Skip.
This thing's 26 years old.
Chris was [INAUDIBLE].

CHRIS CHRISTENSON: We brought Harleys, then we got some Skip
Fryes, and we got an 11-footer.
You know, it's just such a different trip by bringing all
the standard boards, you know.
It's just fun to mix it up, ride something that you
normally wouldn't bring on a surf trip.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
BRAD GERLACH: Of course we're hoping to catch some surf.
But yeah, we didn't get it.
But we're kind of surfing on those motorcycles anyway.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: And if the waves were insane out here all
the time, this would be the best place in the
world to live, huh?
BRAD GERLACH: This would be a great place to have a surf
trip, when there's just waves.
And just come out, go around.
You come here in the fall time, get all
the colors, you know?
It looks like Hansel and Gretel live here.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: These bikes are perfect for this type of
riding, too.
Riding through the coastal towns, it's
almost like an instinct.
Like the other guy can just make a facial expression, and
you what he's going to do, or you know which way
he's going to turn.
Instincts take over with every [INAUDIBLE]
and different communications.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
BRAD GERLACH: Going through the beauty of New England with
the lakes and the rivers and the trees hanging over and the
cherry blossoms and the beautiful, perfect little
gingerbread houses-- it's like, is there a better place
in the world to ride a motorcycle?
[MUSIC PLAYING]

BRAD GERLACH: That's it.
I just wanted to pull over and look down one of these streets
just to check it out.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: I thought you had to make a phone call.
[LAUGHING]
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: I got to take a leak, man.

BRAD GERLACH: I might be Chief Two Beers, but this guy's got
to piss every fucking five minutes.

[MUSIC PLAYING]
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: It's just the diversity of the way the
land is here.
You just don't know what to expect because you can't see
what's coming, where down south it's just a straight
line, where up here--
it's almost fun getting lost.
We don't know where we're going to end up.
None of the roads are straight.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MALE SPEAKER: How far you going?
BRAD GERLACH: The cool thing is we don't know.
MALE SPEAKER: How far you going today?
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: We're going to end up in Rhode Island,
Narragansett.
MALE SPEAKER: I'm going up to Maine.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Up to Maine.
How long is that going to take you?
MALE SPEAKER: I don't know.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Yeah.
So you're like us, huh?
[MUSIC PLAYING]
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: It should be like--
It's going to be just one of those trips where you like,
talk about years and years and years-- you know what I mean?
BRAD GERLACH: Oh, this one time I did this bike trip with
this asshole.
[LAUGHING]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
MALE SPEAKER: Here comes the thunderhead.
Look at that real stuff.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Chris, damn it.
Chris.

BRAD GERLACH: It's definitely raining now.

CHRIS CHRISTENSON: A little wet out there.
Time for some cold ones and some crab legs.
Some real New England food, that's what I want right now.
BRAD GERLACH: So what are you going to have?
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: I want crab legs.
What else do they eat out here?
Crab legs, lobsters.
BRAD GERLACH: Scallops.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Scallops.
Lots of scallops.
BRAD GERLACH: Fish.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Beer.
BRAD GERLACH: Clams.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Clams, yeah I want some clams.
BRAD GERLACH: Steamers.
Steamers.
I'm going to have just a garden salad.
MALE SPEAKER: Yup.
You want the red wine vinaigrette?
Put it on the side?
BRAD GERLACH: No, I don't even need any dressing.
MALE SPEAKER: Nothing?
Just dry?
BRAD GERLACH: Maybe--
MALE SPEAKER: Blue cheese?
BRAD GERLACH: Maybe a lemon.
MALE SPEAKER: All right, I'll put a lemon for you.
Just remind me if I forget about it.
BRAD GERLACH: OK.
MALE SPEAKER: Just go ahead and rip you out
the big one, right?
BRAD GERLACH: No, the small.
MALE SPEAKER: Just a regular small salad?
BRAD GERLACH: Even just smaller than the small.
If they could just put a little bit.
If you could make a note just to make it really small.

CHRIS CHRISTENSON: You need to put some meat
on your bones, man.
You just getting a salad?

All right.
I'm going to get--
I want to get some fish and chips.
Are they pretty small or big?
MALE SPEAKER: It's a good size.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Good size?
MALE SPEAKER: Yeah, it comes in two pieces usually.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: All right.
And then I want to get a couple appetizers.
I want to get the seared ahi.
MALE SPEAKER: That's awesome.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: I'm going to get some clam cakes.
MALE SPEAKER: Is that for you?
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Yeah.
And then--
which one do you recommend, the jerk wings
or the buffalo wings?
MALE SPEAKER: I think the jerk, man.
They got the little sticky--
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: All right.
We'll get--
I want to get some jerk wings.
MALE SPEAKER: Jerk wings.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: He'll help me with a little bit of these.
BRAD GERLACH: Jerk wings?
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: And then I'll get some kind of lobster
because we're in New England right now.
BRAD GERLACH: Jesus.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: What are these different ones?
BRAD GERLACH: Yeah, the blueberry one's pretty good.
Even number four.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: Hold on let me try my beer right now.
BRAD GERLACH: This one's fucking tasty.

[INAUDIBLE]
that?

That was his food intake.
[MAKING SOUNDS]
MALE SPEAKER: I come out here.
I spit raps and rhymes, guys.
I'm the best dressed homeless man in all of Newport.
Singing's my game.
Bricks is the name.
Slick Rick [INAUDIBLE]
taking the blame.
And the money I make, I make it all by myself.
And then I have to share it with everyone else.
So [INAUDIBLE] took his rhyme to the very next level.
I don't carry a brick, but I will ring your bell.
A Roxbury crackhead don't sound cool.
Sing it.
You're a trip and a motherfucking fool.
And if you really don't mind, I got a show to put out.
Or do I really have to get to the very next shell.
Tick, tock, tick.
I see the clock on the wall.
The rhymes are still ripping.
Woo!

All right, fellas.
Thanks, my brother.
CHRIS CHRISTENSON: It's been one of our better
pit stops, for sure.
The rain came and I guess it couldn't
have been better timing.
Hey, Bradley.
Hey, how you doing, buddy?
How'd those two beers treat you?
BRAD GERLACH: I think I had more than two.
BRAD GERLACH: Old Chief Two Beers has got his
shoes off right now.
We're always waiting on Brad.
It's either he had two beers or he's talking to his chick.
I'm ready to go to the next spot.
But maybe I will just--
I think I might go check out some [INAUDIBLE].
I'll be back.

[MUSIC PLAYING]
BRAD GERLACH: There's no communication.
You're driving and just moving and passing things.
And it's almost like--
thoughts, too.
You know, like, here's a house.
Here's a lake.
You know, that's a thought.
[WOOSH]
Now you're past it.
And you're coming up.
Here's a gas station.
Here's an old monument, a statue.
Oh, wow.
[WOOSH]
And you're passing that.
And then you come around this corner--
The coolest thing is just like, I've never been to this
place ever before in my life, right where we're at.
And the motorcycle's what brought us here.

You almost want to get lost because getting lost is part
of the fun.
[MUSIC PLAYING]