The Weekly: Supersize Me

Uploaded by WatchTheDaily on 02.06.2012

>>ROCK: This is the Weekly Daily News Network, and I’m Rock Hammer.
It may be the biggest threat ever to the Constitutional right of every man, woman and child to drink
boat-loads of crap.
NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg has proposed a ban on the sale of sugary drinks larger than
16 ounces.
Is this the end of the Slurpee and life as we know it? We hit the streets to find out
what you think.
>>LESTER: So, Bloomberg. Imposing a ban on sugary drinks over 16 ounces. Your reaction?
>>TOURIST: I think that’s very crazy, I think people should be able to drink whatever
they want to, whether it’ sugar, you should have your own choice whether you wan to participate
in healthy or not. >>LESTER: That’s what I’m saying. If we
want to tear our bodies apart we should be able to do it.
>>TOURIST: Right.
>>TOURIST: Well, I think that there are a lot of Americans that could stand to drink
less soda, so it’s not a terrible thing. >>LESLIE: Like who, Secretaries?
>>TOURIST: Uh, no I don’t want to name a specific group.
>>LESLIE: Truck drivers? Fat People? >>TOURIST: Fat People, yes. Ok?
>>LELSIE: Yes, that’s really what it is.
>>TOURIST: Someone wants to drink a Coke that’s 20 ounces, they should be able to drink a
coke that’s 20 ounces. Even if they have an obesity problem.
>>LESTER: That’s what I’m saying. And if not, you put them on diet drinks.
>>TOURIST: Put them on diet drinks. >>LESTER: And then they’ll have a cancer
>>LESLIE: So how many ounces in a 32 ounce drink?
>>TOURIST: 32? >>LESLIE: Good. It took you a minute though.
>>TOURIST: When I take sure in, I just go insane.
>>LESTER: Oh yah, you’ve got the shifty eyes. I can see it.
>>LESTER: Coke vs Pepsi? >>TOURIST: Coke.
>>LESTER: Sprite vs Sierra Mist? >>TOURIST: Sprite.
>>LESTER: Big Gulp vs Slurpee? >>TOURIST: That’s a tough one. Slurpee.
>>TOURIST: Slurpee
>>TOURIST: Slurpee
>>TOURIST: Slurpee
>>TOURIST: Big Gulp, because it’s cheaper.
>>ROCK: A 20 year old man lived at the offices of AOL for over two months before being discovered.
When asked for comment, a spokesman said, "It's just nice to see someone under 70 using
anything at AOL.”
A recent health survey suggests that 1 out of every 5 Americans pee in pools …. In
a related story, 4 out of 5 Americans lie about peeing in pools.
And finally, the first 6-year old ever to compete in the national spelling bee was eliminated
after failing to spell “Ingluvies.” When asked what went wrong, she replied, “Are
you sh***ing me? I’m 6”
For the Weekly Daily News Network, I’m Rock Hammer.
So I can’t buy a 32 ounce Big Gulp, but I can still buy a 40 of Schlitz Malt Liquor?
Whew, at least we have our priorities straight.
MMMM, Schlitz.