Apple's New Device! The iPad Killer Is Here | Heavy Petting Originals

Hey, man, I was interested in getting one of your tablets today. Sorry, we are sold
out of those. Oh, man, just my luck. May I ask what you wanted to use it for? I'm in
a book club -- I do a lot of reading. Well, we did just launch a new device for audio
books. Really? Yes. Okay, what is it? The iParrot. We give you a bird with the ability
to recite a classic novel or novels verbatim. Elvira, tell the Tale of Two Cities. It was
the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of
foolishness. Elvira, stop. Elvira, resume. It was the epic of belief, it was the epic
of incredulity. 18 years! Gracious creator of day! To be buried alive for 18 years! And
when I was brought to the north tower, they found these upon my sleeve. There is a great
crowd coming one day into our lives, if that be so. I would like the bean and cheese burrito,
shredded beef, a chicken enchilada. 20 minutes? Thank you. Elvira, resume. All through the
cold and restless interval, until dawn, they once more whispered in the ears of Mr. Jarvis
Lorry. I would like the bean and cheese burrito, shredded beef. Ah, chicken. 20 minutes? Thank
you. Whoa, stop, stop, Elvira. Stop. What are you doing? Why'd you do that? Alright,
resume, Elvira. Wondering what subtle powers were forever lost to him and what were capable
of restoration. And the play is broken up by Calvin -- what a game changer. This is
how you win a football game right here. Elvira, stop. What's wrong with you? So this bird
doesn't even read books anymore. All it does is recite my neighbors having sex all day.
Like, is there something you can do, like, press reset, start it over? Have you been
speaking in front of it? Yes. Have you been using these? What are those? The iParrot data
filters. The bird picks up everything you say. This was in your manual. I don't… I'm
a naughty girl, Tim. I'm a naughty girl. I'm really nauuuuuughty girl.