Oh, dear me, how are the mighty fallen.
l could safely put my hand up my arse and say that is the worst record l've heard this centuy.
Oh, and coincidentally, l believe Billywill be...
a guest on my friend Mike's show in a few minutes' time.
Welcome back, Bill.
So, Billy, welcome back to the airwaves.
New Christmas single, coverof''Love Is All Around.''
Except we've changed the word ''love'' to ''Christmas.''
Yes. Uh, is that an important message toyou, Bill?
Not really, Mike.
Christmas is a time for people with someone they love in their lives.
- And that's notyou? - That's not me, Michael.
When l was young and successful, l was greedy and foolish.
And now l'm left with no one, wrinkled and alone.
Wow. Um, thanks for that, Bill.
- For what? - Well, for actually giving a real answer to a question.
Doesn't often happen here at Radio Watford, l can tell you.
- Ask me anything you like, l'll tell you the truth. - Uh, best shag you ever had?
- Britney Spears. - Wow.
No, only kidding. She was rubbish.
Okay. Um, here's one. How doyou think...
the new record compares to your old classic stum
Oh, come on, Mikey. You know as well as l do the record's crap.
[ Chuckling ]
But wouldn't it be great ifnumber one this Christmas wasn't some smug teenager,
but an old ex-heroin addict searching for a comeback at any price?
All those young popsters, come Christmas Day,
they'll be stretched out naked with a cute bird balancing on their balls.
And l'll be stuck in some dingy flat with me manager,Joe,
ugliest man in the world.
fucking miserable because our fucking gamble didn't pay om.
So ifyou believe in Father Christmas, children, likeyour Uncle Billy does,
buy my festering turd ofa record.
And particularly enjoy the incredible crassness ofthe moment...
when we ty to squeeze an extra syllable into the fourth line.
l think you're referring to-- # Ifyou really love Christmas #
''Come on and let it snow.'' Ouch!
So, uh, here it is one more time.
The dark horse for this year's Christmas number one,
''Christmas Is All Around.''
## [ CD Starts ]
ls the new Prime Minister in trouble already?
# l feel it in my fingers ##
Okay, what's next?
![[ENG SUB] Love Actually 01](http://img.youtube.com/vi/XLDS0xowLE0/2.jpg)
