The US Revolt Against the Revolting: Election 2012! Absurdity Today, Episode 29

Uploaded by IronicNewsReport on 12.11.2012

Welcome to Absurdity Today, I’m Julianna Forlano
President Obama has been reelected to a second term
In his concession speech Mitt Romney wished the president well.
Romney: “I wish all of them well…”
His audience also resolved the age old question of what the sound is of one hand clapping.
“…But particularly the president, the first lady and their daughters.”
Sounds like less than one hand. Romney defeat can be traced to the loss of
several Key races: namely the Black, Asian and Hispanic ones.
Meanwhile the Obama victory was well received around the world including in Europe, The
Middle East and even China. The only third world country that revolted was Mississippi.
Oh Mississippi.
In Indiana republican congressional candidate Richard Mourdoc, who became famous for saying
that pregnancies resulting from rape are god’s will….was spontaneously aborted from congress…
Todd Akin also lost. He’s the guy who said that a woman’s uterus has like wonder woman
bracelets in there that can identify and repel rape sperm. Yea, he lost too.
Marriage equality was approved in Maine, Maryland, and Minnesota. Hey Mississippi! You’re next!....At
least alphabetically…
Puerto Rico voted to seek full US statehood. If congress approves, Puerto Rico would be
the state with the second largest population of Puerto Ricans.
Romney reportedly cancelled his staff’s campaign credit cards before they could even
get home on election night. When reached for comment, the staffers expressed
surprise at Romney’s true nature and relief that they didn’t vote for him.
Now that the election is overwith, countless Americans are adjusting to life without the
constant crippling fear of a potential Romney presidnecy.
If you or someone you love, are experiencing disorientation at the lack of sheer terror
in your life, you may want to listen to a weather forecast.
Um, also, a giant eye ball washed up on a Florida beach! Better get that back to the
illuminati pronto~
General Petraus resigned as the director of the CIA citing an extra marital affair. In
a letter he took full responsibility and didn’t even ask us to give him a fucking break.
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See you next week.