Felicia Day & Ryon Day Play Battletoads!

FELICIA DAY: Hey!
We're back!
RYON DAY: Howdy.
FELICIA DAY: We are playing a game this week that was very,
very widely requested.
So it's absolutely your fault if something goes wrong.
RYON DAY: And I've heard things about this game.
FELICIA DAY: What kind of things?
RYON DAY: It has to do with rocket sleds, I think.
FELICIA DAY: Will we get there?
We won't get there.
RYON DAY: We're not going to get there, though, so--
FELICIA DAY: No.
Our modus operandi is to not prepare and not get far.
[DING]
FELICIA DAY: All right.
Let's try it.
RYON DAY: All right.
Let's do this.
FELICIA DAY: Battletoads.
Battletoads.
RYON DAY: Battletoads.
Is that a chicken?
FELICIA DAY: It's a chick-- and I hate chicken feet.
And jeans?
This is worse.
RYON DAY: He does have jeans on.
FELICIA DAY: It's weird.
RYON DAY: His knees are bending like a people--
people's knees.
Clearly anatomically--
FELICIA DAY: That doesn't happen.
RYON DAY: --wrong.
OK.
FELICIA DAY: What is this?
RYON DAY: Obviously--
FELICIA DAY: Am I a toad?
B button lifts you up.
RYON DAY: [BLEEP]
Put me down, [BLEEP].
FELICIA DAY: No, You're a little--
RYON DAY: And you can't do anything about it.
FELICIA DAY: I match the ground.
RYON DAY: Come here.
Get over here.
FELICIA DAY: You can't see me.
You can't see--
You dick!
RYON DAY: What is he nudging me with his foot for?
FELICIA DAY: Doesn't look dangerous.
RYON DAY: He's like, hey guy.
Wow, it's a flying red sperm.
FELICIA DAY: What is that?
What is that?
RYON DAY: Oh, there we go.
I had to get on the--
FELICIA DAY: [SCREAMING].
RYON DAY: What the hell!
FELICIA DAY: What the [BLEEP]!
RYON DAY: All right, I got to get on my dune.
FELICIA DAY: No, you can't get out of there.
You can't go over that--
RYON DAY: Wow.
If either player dies, it kills us both?
FELICIA DAY: Well, it's corporal punishment.
Now, I pressed B. Whoa, OK, I threw that one over the cliff.
RYON DAY: That's very efficient.
FELICIA DAY: Watch this.
RYON DAY: Oh, the other hand is-- oh--

FELICIA DAY: God [BLEEP].
Sorry.
Sorry.
RYON DAY: That's twice as not sorry.
FELICIA DAY: All right.
I'll go over here.
Let's be efficient.
Let's do this--
RYON DAY: How efficient is that?
That's not efficient.
FELICIA DAY: He will not let me get off of him.
RYON DAY: You know, he's more trouble than he's--
FELICIA DAY: He cannot hover over that!
What a piece of [BLEEP]!
You get it, man.
Whoa.
RYON DAY: He didn't try to jump.
Well, they had to let--
FELICIA DAY: Well, we're farther.
RYON DAY: Oh, no, he's pissed.
Oh.
FELICIA DAY: What just happened?
RYON DAY: This is the enemy's point of view.
Like, we're staring through the enemy camera.
See?
This is it.
FELICIA DAY: No, that's not true.
Oh, wait.
I think he threw it at the camera.
RYON DAY: Wow, didn't I just say that like 10 minutes ago?
When this goes live, cut it to me saying, I think we're
throwing something at the camera.
And then, finally--
FELICIA DAY: You don't direct the show.
RYON DAY: --the realization--
FELICIA DAY: I'll cut the show as I want.
RYON DAY: This is the enemy's point of view.
Like, we're staring through the enemy camera.
See?
[CLUCKING]
Watch out, Toads, [CLUCKING].

FELICIA DAY: Oh, my god.
What the [BLEEP]
is that voice?
RYON DAY: It was a chicken, which was stacked like a
motherfucker.
FELICIA DAY: We're going down a wookie hole, which is the
same thing as a urethra.
Let's--
RYON DAY: Urethra is the wookie hole?
FELICIA DAY: That's what I call it.
RYON DAY: I'm never not going to call it that now.
Like, if I ever go to a urologist, I'm like, Doc, are
you going to look at my wookie hole?
It kind of burns when I urinate.
FELICIA DAY: I have a burning wookie hole, doctor.
RYON DAY: It burns when I urinate.
I think I need you to look at my wookie hole.
FELICIA DAY: [CLUCKING].
RYON DAY: [CLUCKING].
Watch out, Toads!
There's bound to be a whole toad-load of trouble.
[CLUCKING]
Get it, Toads.
You're Toads.
[CLUCKING]
FELICIA DAY: This is a horrible, like, who thought,
hey, they're [BLEEP]
toads and they're going to turn into a dumbbell.
Do you want to be on bottom or top?
So gross.
Stop it.
Watch out, Toads!
RYON DAY: Watch out, Toads!
FELICIA DAY: There's bound to be a whole toad-load of--
RYON DAY: A whole toad-load of trouble down in that crater.
FELICIA DAY: God, you're the master of that voice.
Oh, we're in the Turbo Tunnel.
RYON DAY: Turbo Tunnel.
FELICIA DAY: Level three.
RYON DAY: OK.
FELICIA DAY: Look at the sperm.
That's where the sperm are stored, below us.
Look at that--
girls and boys.
It's not how it works, guys.
These game plays always end up to be some kind of [BLEEP]
penis anatomy lesson.
Oh, god.
RYON DAY: It's another--
FELICIA DAY: Kick 'em.
Kick 'em.
Kick 'em.
RYON DAY: Freaky armless rat.
FELICIA DAY: That's what lives in your penises, men.
Oh, wait a minute.
This game just got good.
BOTH: Jump!
Jump!
[BLEEP]
Jump!
[BLEEP]
Jump!
RYON DAY: Oh, no.
Jump again!
Jump again!
FELICIA DAY: Jump!
BOTH: Low!
RYON DAY: High!

FELICIA DAY: I have zero lives.
RYON DAY: Last time.
FELICIA DAY: Last time.
RYON DAY: Do you want to kill more penis rats?
If you don't want to kill more penis rats,
you got to win this.
BOTH: Jump.
Jump.
FELICIA DAY: I jumped!
Oh, my god, I want to die right now.
BOTH: Jump.
Jump!
RYON DAY: [BLEEP]
I jumped too soon.
FELICIA DAY: I did, too.
It was premature ejumpulation.
RYON DAY: OK, ready?
Jump.
FELICIA DAY: This is the worst game ever.
RYON DAY: Jump.
Low.
High.
[BLEEP]
FELICIA DAY: This is the worst game ever made.
It's literally the worst.
Oh, god, it's awful.
RYON DAY: Ready?
Jump.
[BLEEP]
[LAUGHTER]
You gotta--
FELICIA DAY: No, premature!
RYON DAY: Premature.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, god, it's dinnertime.
We're done.
RYON DAY: OK.
It's done.
FELICIA DAY: All right.
RYON DAY: This game [BLEEP]
blows.
This is the worst game ever made.
FELICIA DAY: Thumbs down.
RYON DAY: This all possible thumbs down.
This is by far--
FELICIA DAY: I'm so angry right now.
RYON DAY: This is by far the [BLEEP]
game ever made.
FELICIA DAY: I'm enraged.
No, Bass Fishing, '96.
Did you see that one?
RYON DAY: OK.
Yes.
OK.
That was painful for me to watch.
FELICIA DAY: Oh, my god.
No!
Check your privates for, uh--
RYON DAY: Yeah, please go to the doctor.
Go to your doctor.
FELICIA DAY: Checking for penis rats.
RYON DAY: Check your wookie hole for penis rats.
Thanks.
Bye-bye.
FELICIA DAY: Bye.