UMD Zombie Festival 2012


Uploaded by UMNDuluth on 13.11.2012

Transcript:

Well, welcome to Zombie Fest 2012.
This is the second year in a row we've had this event, and
hopefully we will make it an annual event.
My name is John Dahl, and I'll be your host tonight.
I'd like to first of all, acknowledge a couple people.
Chancellor Black and his assistant, Kate Andrews made
some financial support for this.
And I'm very grateful for their support.
I don't know if the chancellor's here tonight or
not, but a lot of gratitude for him.
I'd also like to thank the speakers tonight.
They're each going to endeavor to give a 15, 20 minute talk.
And that can be very challenging to give a short
talk, and I want to acknowledge the time that
they've put into it, and a lot of gratitude for them.
And also I want to thank you for being here.
I know you're all busy.
Many of you have exams and homework due tomorrow.
And we have about 360 seats in this room.
So the fact that it's almost full is quite an honor.
Thank you.
So what we're going to try and do tonight is what I'll call
the overlap.
And the overlap is this idea that there's really nothing
new in the world except for the space when you take
existing things and recombine them to make something that's
new and fertile and creative.
And that's we're going to try and do in this space tonight.
I have a rudimentary understanding of what our
presenters will talk about, but I don't know exactly.
I just hope that in the space we can
create something dynamic.
Because the people who are going to be speaking today
normally don't speak to one another.
It's a very eclectic group.

The reason we're picking the topic of zombies is to help in
this overlap.
Because almost any academic discipline could address the
issue of zombies.
That word means different things in political science,
in economics, in philosophy, in psychology, in biology, in
anthropology, in chemistry, and even, we'll see, in
mathematics that term has relevance.
So we use it as a way to connect people.
And the other reason that we're talking about zombies is
because, I'll be honest, zombies
are incredibly popular.
And one way you can measure this is just to look and see
how many times you see that word, zombie, in print
[? here, ?] in newspapers, or on TV shows, or in movies.
And zombies are very fun.
We like zombies.
We like to be scared.
We like to be scared by zombies.
And we like for that to end when we want it to, when we
close the book, or we turn the TV set off, or
we leave the theater.
I want to say that zombies also, in addition to being
fun, are used as a metaphor or a barometer for what I'll call
social anxiety.
We all have this.
We're all worried about chaos and breakdown of society.
We're worried about limited resources, global warming.
We're worried about the current political situation
here and abroad.
We're worried about social issues.
We're also worried about technology and keeping up with
technology.
And I'll just point out that tomorrow, Microsoft is going
to introduce the world to this new operating system,
which is Windows 8.
And I think many of us are happy about that.
But most of us are kind of freaked out.
Because we're worried that, what if there's
some kind of glitch?
What if there's a mistake that leads to
total societal breakdown?
I'm going to play a commercial here.
So this is a commercial from Toshiba.
And it sort of illustrates this point, that a new
computer was coming out.
A decision had been made.
And if the wrong decision was made, it would lead to total
chaos and a zombie pandemic.

The new Satellite with sleep and charge
and resolution plus.
If we don't include the impact-smart hard drive, we
can ship today.
Hm.

Uh.
Hm.
[INHUMAN NOISES]
[SCREAMING]
[INHUMAN NOISES]
No.
That Satellite has to have an impact-smart hard drive.
The all new Toshiba Satellite series.
We thought of everything.
So we hope that Microsoft [INAUDIBLE] everything.
[INAUDIBLE].
Well, we also use zombies as an educational tool.
I'm going to show you an example of this.
So how many in this room like math equations?
Raise your hand.
So not very many of you.
And those that raised your hand, put them down.
We won't believe you anyway.
So here's a math equation.
And before your eyes glass over, I want to say that
mathematicians refer to this as the zombie equation.
Now, I don't know exactly what this means, but I'm more
interested in it because it has
something to do with zombies.
What this means, we'll have to have a mathematician come next
year for Zombie Fest to explain the zombie equation.
I can tell you that S stands for susceptible humans.
Z is zombies.
And R stands for the removal of human beings from the
population because of zombies.
Essentially, it's an algorithm that explains the zombie
apocalypse and the spread of contagion.
Another group that has noticed the teaching power of zombies,
is the Center for Disease Control, the CDC.
And what they noticed was that right after the earthquake and
tsunami in Japan, there was the nuclear
reactors melting down.
And somebody actually emailed the CDC.
They were concerned that maybe this would lead to a zombie
apocalypse.
And the Center for Disease Control noticed that there was
a huge amount of traffic on their website because of this
word, zombie.
And so what they did was essentially introduce--
I'm going to show you.
This is the actual CDC website.

So you can go to this site.
And actually, there's a link for educators.
If you're an educator, here you go.
[INAUDIBLE].
So the point here is that everything you need to prepare
for a zombie pandemic is the same thing you would need to
prepare for a hurricane, an earthquake.
But nobody cares about that stuff.
We care about zombies.

So maybe you know a lot about zombies, maybe you don't know
anything at all.
This is for the people who don't know anything at all.
As Josh [INAUDIBLE] mentioned last year, there's two types
of zombies.
So we'll be talking about both tonight.
There's the historical voodoo zombie that has its origin in
Haitian and African origin.
Actually, zombie in this case means slave.
This isn't a particularly scary person.
This is a living person who's under the hypnotic or
drug-induced control of an overseer or a [INAUDIBLE].
Usually, this type of zombie is worthy of our sympathy not
of our fear.
There are a number of voodoo zombie movies made, none of
them particularly frightening, but interesting.
The other type of zombie is what we call the modern
zombie, which was introduced to the world in 1968 with
George Romero's movie, Night of the Living Dead.
This movie was made on a shoestring budget with
borrowed cars and part time actors.
But by today's--
adjusting for inflation, it's made over
$265 million worldwide.
And this introduced the concept of the modern zombie.
Although I'll stress that Romero never
used that term, zombie.
He referred to these as flesh eaters.
And he said the flesh eaters are three things.
They're a reanimated human corpse.
They are relentlessly aggressive.
And the third thing is that there's some biological
contagion that spreads these.
He got is inspiration from a vampire novel.
Really, there's no connection at all
between the flesh eaters--
there's no anthropological, historical, or religious
connection with the Haitian zombie.
So where's the name come from, since Romero didn't use it?
Romero was approached then years later by an Italian film
producer who said, I'll give you money for a sequel.
But here's the deal.
You have to give me exclusive rights to showing
this movie in Europe.
Romero said, fine.
The sequel was made.
When the movie appeared in Europe it was not called Dawn
of the Dead.
It was called-- it was renamed Zombie.
And the name stuck.
And it's still used today.
Even though, again, there is absolutely no connection at
all between these two zombies.
A lot of sequels proceeded after that.
And one of note is The Return of the Living Dead.
This is the first movie where they actually talk about
zombies wanting to eat human brains.
Brains!

And we'll be discussing that tonight, why a zombie would
want to eat human brains.
Brains!
The genre was reinvented in 2002 with Danny Boyle's movie
28 Days Later.
I have to admit, I'm a bit fan of this movie.
When Danny Boyle--
it was found out that he was going to be coordinating the
opening ceremonies for the Summer Olympics, I had high
hopes there would be burning zombies running
out onto the stage.
There weren't.
It was still a good opening ceremony.
Now in this case, the zombie is not dead.
It's living.
And more importantly, it's extremely fast, and
[INAUDIBLE]
are extremely frightening.
A year later, the zombie comedy was introduced.
Very popular and returned the zombie to a slow-moving state.
And then George Romero's movie was remade--
Dawn of the Dead-- not by Romero, in 2004.
We are now back to the fast zombie.
Romero wasn't crazy about this idea.
We'll get back to that a little later on.
So these are the people.
This is the zombie crew tonight that are going to try
and do this overlap.
For most of them, they are going to be involved in
describing the modern zombie.
And primarily it's the science and the survival
of the modern zombie.
But I thought that it was important to play homage to
the voodoo-style zombie and to maybe start with a
little bit of class.
So to do this, I'm actually going to show you a little bit
of the very first zombie movie ever filmed.
And this is the movie, The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.
This movie came out in theaters in 1920.
It's a silent black and white movie that's considered a
masterpiece of German expressionism.
And what that means, not only are the there's a lot of
expression on their faces, but the sets and the world itself
seemed a little bit out of kilter.
There are rooftops that are jagged, same with the roads.
I want you to pay attention to the houses, the angles, the
doors, the windows.
It's almost as if Dr. Suess painted them.
And in fact, there are shadows in the movie, but they're just
painted on shadows, either on the ground or on the wall.
I'd like to set up this movie.
Now, they don't mention the word zombie in here, but there
is somebody called a somnambulist named Cesare.
Now, Cesare has been in a hypnotic state.
He's been sleeping for 25 years.
He's under the control of the nefarious Dr. Caligari over
here, who will periodically wake up
Cesare to do his bidding.
Now that bidding can be asking Cesare to predict the future
or, possibly, murdering somebody.
So Cesare is a voodoo zombie slave in this movie.
I'm going to set this movie up.
We're going to just play about 10 minutes of it.
In this scene, we see two friends that are attending a
carnival in which Dr. Caligari is acting as a barker.
He's trying to get paying customers to come in and see
Cesare, who will be woken up and make a prediction.
And one of the friends makes a mistake that you never make
when you ask a fortune teller.
You never ask this question of a fortune teller.
You never ask them, when will I die?
He asked that question.
So what we're going to see in this movie is that it's almost
painful to watch without sound.
So the good news is that we do have some music.
And I'm going to introduce our first presenter, who will be
accompanying this 10 minutes on the piano.

So our first presenter is Dr. Tracy Lipke-Perry She's an
assistant professor in the music department here at UMD.
She received her doctorate in music from the University of
Utah, in piano.
And she also minored in neurophysiology from the
University of Arizona.
Excuse me.
She received her PhD from University of Arizona.
She also taught at University of Idaho for several years
before coming to UMD where she teaches courses on applied
piano and other piano-related classes.
The highlights of her solo career is that she's performed
at a reception for former Secretary of
Defense Melvin Laird.
And I'll go ahead and start.
I'll set the movie up, and Tracy will have just a couple
of brief comments to make, [? I think. ?]

And thanks to John for inviting me.
I know that my mission was to help create a creepy
atmosphere.
So I hope I can do that in a few minutes.
A few brief words about the score from
which I will play tonight.
The original score for Caligari is apparently lost.
But through articles from the time, we see that the original
score consisted of excerpts of Chopin's--
[? Schoengerg's ?]
works, Prokofiev, Strauss, Debussy, and the like.
What I will play from tonight is actually an
Arthur Kleiner score.
There are two copies of this.
One affiliated with the Museum of Modern Art in New York.
And the other in special
collections in the Twin Cities.
And in this score, there are compilations of everything
from Schubert to Beethoven to Chopin and Grieg.
Before we start the clip, I'd like to play a brief snippet
of Chopin that you'll hear once the movie starts, so that
you'll recognize that when that comes up.

[PIANO MUSIC]

[PIANO MUSIC]
Oh, yes indeed, my friends.
There's something [INAUDIBLE].

My father-in-law just sent me, it came in the mail today,
called How to Speak Zombie, a Guide for the Living.
I think he meant this for my children.
But they will never see this book because
I like it too much.
This basically teaches you how to speak zombie.
And I'll just read the beginning here.
It says, "This books is designed to help you navigate
everyday life now that the world has
been overrun by zombies.
Your best hope in this regard is to learn how to speak their
language." And then it goes on here, "Please note, if you
have time to learn just one phrase, and in fact, you are
in immediate danger, turn to the last page in the book and
press the brains button [INAUDIBLE].
Continue to push the button until the danger has passed."
So I thought we would give that a try.
I'm going to go all the way to the back.
I
going to hit B. Brains.
Brains.
So here to talk about brains is our next speaker, Dr. Jan
Fitzakerley.
I'll introduce her.
So Dr. Fitzakerley is an associate professor in the
medical school.
All three of her degrees are in physiology.
She received her PhD from Creighton University.
At UMD, she runs an active research lab studying the
molecular-cellular mechanisms of auditory neuroscience.
And she teaches undergraduate, graduate, and medical students
physiology and pharmacology.
Dr. Fitzakerley is also the director of the Minnesota
Brain Awareness Program that teaches elementary school
students about neuroscience.
Welcome.

OK.
So with all due respect to my colleagues who are speaking,
When you talk about zombies, in reality, it
is all about brains.
And that's what I'm here to talk about.
And I could talk for a very long time about zombie
neurobiology.
But I'm going to try and really confine my talk to four
fundamental questions.
The first question really is, why would zombies benefit from
eating brains.
What is the nutritional benefit of a brain?
And then we're going to move to the question of whether
zombies really are brain dead or they're
really just brain damaged.
And I'll give you my advice right now.
I think they're brain damaged not dead.
And therefore, we're going to talk about what could be going
on inside a zombie brain.
And last, I'm going to try to tackle the question, can
zombies learn?
Because those of us who want to survive the zombie
apocalypse really do want to know if their strategy is
going to change or not.
So I'm going to try and deal with that question last.
All right.
See if I've got [INAUDIBLE].
OK.
So first question.
Why would you want to eat a brain?
They're really hard to get to.
It's actually difficult to get a brain out of the skull.
And so you will see in various forms of movies and books
zombies eating brains.
But some of them seem to be perfectly happy eating flesh.
And so the question is exactly What is
the zombie food pyramid?
How much nutrition do they need to get from the brain
part of their diet versus the rest of
everything that they eat.
So you'll have to bear with me.
I know that some of you said that you weren't too
comfortable with math.
But I'm a scientist.
So we're going to do just a little bit of math here.
And the math we're going to do is actually trying to figure
out how many calories per day a zombie really needs.
So if you think about what a zombie's doing, most of the
time it's kind of walking around kind of slowly.
So that's about 200 calories an hour that
it's going to burn.
But if it's walking 24 hours a day--
because it's not sleeping--
so it actually burns about 4,800 calories.
And if you think about the rest of its body, it's going
to need about 5,400 calories a day.
So the questions becomes, could it get that from the
brains, or should it really eat some flesh as well?
OK.
So if you compare the actual nutritional component in terms
of calories, there's actually not much difference between
you brain and your muscle.
So somewhere around over 600 calories per
pound that you eat.
Which is not too bad, except that your brain is really only
2% of your body weight.
Doesn't matter how big you are, your brain is going to be
about the same size in every human.
Whereas muscles can take a wide-ranging value, but
somewhere around 40% of your body weight.
And that means a zombie, in order to meet that giant
calorie requirement, could get away with eating just a tenth
of a person a day if they eat the muscle.
But if they decide that they're going to eat brains
and only brains, they'd actually have to eat almost
three brains a day.
And again, that gets to the question of how hard it is to
eat a brain.
And so there's still not any benefit here to the zombie to
eating brains.
They'd be better off just eating muscle.
So what other parts of the brain could there be that
would benefit?
So if you actually do a comparison of what is in brain
and muscle, they're actually pretty similar.
They're mostly protein and mostly fat.
But there are two key differences that I think you
should pay attention to.
The first is, the zombie, by eating brain, actually gets
some vitamin C. And [INAUDIBLE]
why you need as a zombie to make sure you're getting your
RDA of vitamin C.
The other thing is, as I said, that the main difference is
that brains are much more fat than protein.
Whereas muscle generally is much more protein than fat.
So the question becomes, what benefit to a zombie would
there be of eating vitamin-C-containing fat?
And I think that is really the heart of the
upside of eating brains.
Which is that by maintaining your dietary requirement for
vitamin C, you're going to avoid a disease called scurvy,
which comes from vitamin C deficiency.
And the symptoms of scurvy are actually that your connective
tissue degenerates, and you have trouble with your skin.
You lose your teeth because your gums
deteriorate, et cetera.
And that's already happening for zombies.
So adding something else onto it that's going to make that
situation worse would generally be bad.
So maintaining vitamin C will help them maintain their
beautiful skin and teeth.
Secondly, fat is actually really required for your brain
to function.
So as long as if they have any functioning brain, want to
maintain it.
And the reason that your brain is so high in fat is that the
fat actually acts as an insulator and allows
electrical signals that your brain cells use to communicate
with each other to pass.
So this is a high-power micrograph of the nerve cells
as they're going through your spinal cord.
And all of this pink is actually insulation, or fat,
surrounding it, making it really like the wires that are
running through the walls.
So you're brain uses the same kind of insulation to carry an
electrical signal as the wires in the wall.
So if a zombie is getting his vitamin C, and he's getting
the fat, he's going to maintain his nerve function,
and he's going to, like I said, hang around probably a
little while longer.
So if these are the upsides to it, are there any downsides?
And I have to be quite honest with you, in general, there
are some downsides to having an all-brain diet.
And from a human point of view, that is the diseases
that are called transmissible spongiform encephalopathies.
Very big words.
What these are, are a form of disease called prion disease.
And in humans, the two that we know about are Kuru, which is
actually found in South Pacific islanders who practice
ritualistic cannibalism.
As well as, in the rest of world, in
Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.
And these are pictures from a patient's brain who have
Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease.
And the purple in the middle are misfolded proteins that
really get in the way of other brain function.
And at the same time, they cause these holes to appear in
the brain, which is where you get the spongiform part from.
And so these diseases are very horrible to have.
They are always fatal.
And that would be the downside to eating a brain.
Now, you can argue that a zombie might want to try and
get the short-term benefits versus the long-term
disadvantages.
But I just want to leave this section by saying, there are
pluses and minuses to eating brains, should you leave here
deciding that's what you want to do.
So next question that I had to ask is, can we think about the
zombie as being brain dead, or should we really be
considering them brain damaged?
So I do want to return to the idea of the Haitian voodoo
zombie just for a minute.
Because one of the thoughts about how this process would
work is that in order to create a zombie that would be
under your control, you would administer a toxin called
tetrodotoxin.
Now, tetrodotoxin poisoning actually does occur in the
world, particularly in Asia, where they eat the puffer
fish, which you can see here.
And puffer fish as its protection generates
tetrodotoxin.
And so there are outbreaks of tetrodotoxin poisoning.
The last big one was in Pakistan in 2008.
And we do know what the consequences of tetrodotoxin
poisoning are.
And that is, tetrodotoxin blocks the electrical signals
that your brain cells use to communicate.
And that causes a couple things.
If you have a very small dose, you're just feel a tingling in
your mouth where you ate it.
But if you get it in just a large dose, what it can
ultimately end up with is paralysis of your limbs so you
can't move.
And ultimately, that's going to block your diaphragm from
working, which means you can't breathe.
And that means somebody looking at you is really going
to think that you're dead.
Because you're not breathing and you're not moving.
And actually, if you don't breathe for very long, three
or four minutes, you start having your brain cells die.
So ultimately, tetrodotoxin can be fatal.
And obviously, somebody who's trying to create a zombie from
tetrodotoxin has to titrate the dose very carefully, so
that the person appears dead but really isn't dead.
OK.
So what do we know about what happens when you have a lack
of oxygen getting to your brain?
Well actually, that is a fairly common problem.
And we know that no matter what the cause of the anoxia,
it will cause problems that may sound familiar to you if
you think about applying them to zombies.
So cerebral hypoxia will cause difficulty learning,
difficulty with short term memory.
But it will also cause cognitive disturbances like
over-emotionality and decreased motor control.
And if it progresses far enough, it
will cause brain death.
So not to be too morbid for a second, I do want to define
what death is.
That is defined in Minnesota by state law as being the
irreversible cessation of all brain functions.
Now, by looking at this definition, I would put to you
that zombies cannot be dead.
And they cannot be brain dead.
Because we know that they have certain functions
that require a brain.
So if you list out certain properties of zombies, you can
see that they require their brain in
order to do those things.
So zombies do have a fair amount of sensory function.
They can see you.
They can hear you.
They can smell you.
And if they get close enough, they can actually feel you.
They can use that to generate and decide to
move and chase you.
And they can decide to eat you.
All of those things require a brain.
And they are all evidence of relatively
normal brain function.
They also have at least one property of what we would call
higher order thinking, in that zombies can tell themselves
apart from humans.
To my knowledge, you don't see too many zombies
eating other zombies.
But they do eat humans.
So they are able to differentiate things in their
environment.
So if these things are still working, we can then ask, what
exactly is going on in a zombie brain?
And in order to do that, I need to talk a little bit more
about what your brain looks like.
So this is a typical human brain.
Its largest part is the cerebral cortex here on the
top with the great big folds in it.
The next largest part is the cerebellum on the back.
And then you have your brain stem and spinal cord that are
on here in [? white. ?]
So those three big regions, we can ask the question, what has
to be working in a zombie brain?
And I would argue that I just told you that they can see and
smell and move.
And they can communicate that with their body through their
spinal cord.
So these parts that are now shown in green have to be
relatively normal in a zombie brain.
But that leaves these big parts out here that we have to
investigate.
So if you fill out the rest of this table, this is what I
showed you before about what is working in a
zombie brain down here.
There are other things that are not quite so
normal about zombies.
And if a doctor actually got close to them enough, they
would perform a neurological exam and try to figure out
what's wrong.
But I don't think doctors are that stupid.
So they are going to have to judge from afar what's working
and what's not.
So zombies have what we call positive symptoms, things that
are more prevalent than in the normal human being.
So they are abnormally strong.
They seem to have this weird desire to eat humans, which is
not generally normal.
And they have this extreme rage.
But they also have a whole bunch of what we call negative
symptoms, things are missing from a zombie's behavior that
humans have.
So decreased pain perception.
They walk kind of funny.
They have gait disturbances.
They have what we would term an aphasia.
So they don't speak, but they can moan.
That's a central nervous system problem.
They have this distinct lack of empathy for others when
they eat them.
They have what we call dysexecutive syndrome, which
is basically problems with higher order functioning,
things like logic and reasoning.
And they have insomnia.
Now, I don't have time to talk about all of these things.
But I'm going to try to talk just about the
three that are in red.
So why do they not seem to stop when we hurt them?
Why do they walk funny?
And why do they have this problem with
higher order thinking?
So one of the things that you need to think about-- if you
shoot a zombie, and you shoot them in the chest, and they
keep coming at you-- is whether or not they're
actually sensing the pain, or whether they just aren't
feeling the pain.
And so we in physiology distinguish that as
nociception is detecting a harmful stimulus.
And pain is active perceiving that something is wrong.
And there are three potential reasons why a zombie
might not feel pain.
The first is that they might not be detecting the stimulus.
If their skin is really messed up, they might not be able to
have the receptors present to detect the stimulus.
So they might truly not know that you're harming them.
Another possibility, though, is that they are extremely
motivated when they chase you.
And therefore, they are literally not paying attention
to the pain.
So what you have to think about there is that's also a
standard human response, right?
So we are capable of ignoring things that are
painful if we choose.
And the third thing is that they may not be perceiving the
pain, either when pain is occurring to them or when it's
occurring to others.
And that's the one that I want to explore just
a little bit more.
So this idea of, where in your brain do you actually detect
that pain happens?
A bunch of scientists asked that.
And they did that by putting somebody into and MRI and
watching their brain when they did something painful to them.
Now, you have to realize that--
it was just mildly painful.
But when you do that, when you put somebody in an MRI, and
you ask that question, the parts in red are the parts
where the activity goes up.
And this part at the top of the cortex here, that's the
part that responds and tells you that something's
touching your body.
So this is where the pain was kind of
detected in the cortex.
And that's fairly normal.
But this part down here along a region we call the anterior
cingulate gyrus, but you don't need to remember that name.
There's not quiz or anything after.
This region down here, people were kind of
wondering what it did.
So scientists being scientists, they did a
different experiment.
And the experiment they did was they actually showed these
people pictures of their loved ones being in pain.
OK?
And so when you do that and look to see what happens, What
you see is you don't see the red up here.
Which makes sense, because the person wasn't actually having
any pain caused to them.
But the same region down here was responding.
And so we think this is the part of the brain that is
encoding empathy or perception of pain.
And so what I would put to you is if we could do and put a
zombie in an MRI--
I don't think anybody's done that yet.
But if you could and you did that, I think what you would
see is that the zombie would detect the pain, but they
wouldn't care.
So this is what I think the zombie brain really does look
like in response to pain.
OK, the second thing I was going talk to you about is
what I call the dysexecutive syndrome.
And here, we actually know a fair amount of this as well.
And the story that tells this or maybe first had physicians
thinking about it was the story of a man called Phineas
Gage, who was a foreman on the railroad back in the 1850s.
So he was laying track, and his job was to put explosives
in the ground and blow up the rocks so that the train tracks
could be laid.
And they did that with this rod that you can see him
holding here.
And one day Phineas made a mistake, and that rod ended up
getting blasted through his head, out his eye and out the
top of his head.
This picture was actually taken about 10
years after his accident.
So even in the era before antibiotics, Phineas lived.
But the people who interacted with him afterwards said he
was no longer himself.
He walked, talked.
He actually sustained his own lifestyle.
He supported himself financially.
But he had a number of differences in his
personality, in his ability to think.
So they described him as being childlike.
He had excessive problems with anger and frustration.
And he was inappropriately aggressive.
Sound like anybody you know at all?
OK.
So one of the things that could be wrong in a zombie's
brain is that they've lost their frontal lobe, the part
right above your eyes.
OK?
So that's the second symptom that I was
going to talk about.
And the third is, why do they walk so funny?
So walking is actually a very complicated process that
you're going to hear more about later.
I just want to kind of set this up by saying that from
your brain's perspective, you actually have to do three
things in order to move your body.
You actually have to plan what you're going to do.
You have to initiate the movement, or start it.
And then you actually have to carry it out.
And those functions occur in three different
parts of your brain.
And I've already told you that we think that zombies can
initiate movement and execute it.
Which means that their motor cortex and their spinal cord
are working.
I've also told you, when I talked about Phineas Gage,
that the frontal parts of their brain-- their idea
generating and cortical association areas--
might not be working.
But it's also possible that zombies have problems with the
coordination of the event.
And those things are carried out in your basal ganglia and
in your cerebellum.
And so we do have people, unfortunately, that have
diseases in their basal ganglia and in their
cerebellum.
Those diseases are called Parkinson Disease if it's a
problem with the basal ganglia and spinal cerebellar ataxia
if it's in the cerebellum.
These people who have these diseases cannot walk in a
coordinated fashion.
They are going to have a very shuffling gait that's very
distinctive.
And you're going to hear more about these later.
So the bottom line here is that we take our map that we
had of what was working in a zombie brain, and we overlap
that with the regions that don't seem to be working in a
zombie brain, you can see that there's a fair amount wrong
with a zombie.
Not that you didn't know that, again, already.
OK.
So this is actually an increasing interest to
neuroscientists.
We now want to use proper, non-biased terminology when
we're describing these brain deficits for zombies.
And so there are people who have termed this disorder
either ataxic neurodegenerative satiety
deficiency syndrome or consciousness deficit
hypoactivity disorder.
And you can actually find many talks online by the authors
here if you are more interested in find out about a
zombie brain.
OK.
My very last question very quickly-- just trying to stay
on track-- is, if they have functioning parts of their
brains, can zombies learn?
Do we need to be worried about the fact
that zombies can learn?
And here, what I would say is that learning and changing is
a central part of how your brain functions.
Every second of every day, your brain is changing.
It is built into every one of your 100 billion neurons.
That's why we truly hope that your brain will be different
when you leave this room than when you came in.
Because brain changing and learning is
what your brain does.
On a macroscopic level, learning is a much more widely
distributed function in your brain.
By that I mean when we do those MRI studies and look to
see what parts light up, generally, when you're
learning something, almost every part of
your brain is involved.
And therefore, it is quite possible
that zombies can learn.
Because they have the neurons that can change their
behavior, and they have the macroscopic parts that
can let them work.
So I just want to summarize really quickly
my five major points.
The first is there are advantages and disadvantages
to an all brain diet.
If you're consider it as part of your Atkins program, you
need to think both short and long term.
The zombies are pretty much, I think, brain damaged and not
brain dead.
Zombie behavior overlaps, but is in no way identical to any
of our known neurological diseases.
It is primarily a dysfunction in the frontal lobe with some
possible cerebellar involvement.
And lastly, all brains chance, including zombie brains.
And so zombies can learn.
Before I close, I do want to say that I have some medical
students who are with me today.
At the end of the symposium, we do and will have some human
brains out at the back for you to take a look at them.
There are a couple of points that I want to make.
If you don't want to see them-- we'll reinforce this
point later-- you can go out the back and head in the
opposite way.
We'll be in the center of the room.
And because we want to respect the people who donated their
brains to the medical school, there are no pictures or
videos of those brains allowed.
Thank you.

Thank you, Jan.
We're going to shift gears a little bit.
Last year we talked about the biological and infections
agents that could lead to a zombie, either a human zombie
or an animal zombie.
Tonight, we're going to take that to its logical
conclusion, which is a disease spreading over the entire
planet and talk about the global wide zombie pandemic.
I'm going to read just two lines from a book called
Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Zombies.
"Zombies are not supernatural, superhuman, super strong, or
particularly super at anything.
Just the opposite.
Zombies are grossly natural in their rotting flesh, imperfect
brains, and limited physical abilities.
They don't pretend to be anything more or less than
what they are.
But what they are is the end of the world."
And here to talk about the end of the world from the zombie
perspective is our speaker, Dr. Jeremy Youde.
He is an associate professor and a department head for the
political science department here at UMD.
He received his PhD from the University of Iowa.
At UMD, he conducts research on global
health and African politics.
And he has written a book entitled AIDS, South Africa,
and the Politics of Knowledge.
Dr. Youde currently teaches courses at UMD in comparative
politics and international relations.
Please welcome Dr. Youde.

All right.
Well, thank you, everyone, for coming out this evening.
And like John said, I want to talk about the international
politics of a zombie outbreak.
How does the international community respond to
something like this?
And in a lot of ways, a zombie outbreak is the perfect case
of a transnational threat.
Think about it as something like climate change.
This is something that no state can do it on its own.
It has to work in cooperation with other states.
If Canada manages to prevent any zombies from coming into
Canada, that's great.
But that's not going to stop the overall threat.
So similar sorts of things are happening with zombies, like I
said, like with climate change.
So this is a perfect opportunity to look at what
sorts of factors facilitate cooperation and how we try to
plan for these unexpected events.
The international community at this point does not expect
that a zombie outbreak is going to happen.
But it's ready just in case it is because it's set up an
institutional framework for dealing with
these sorts of things.

And so really at the heart, we're talking about an
infection agent when we're talking
about a zombie outbreak.
So the lead actor in this process would be the World
Health Organization.
This is not what they expected when they started it in 1948.
They were not contemplating a zombie outbreak.
But this is who we would all turn to.
This is who our institutional framework is organized around.
Part of the ethos of the World Health Organization is this
idea that microbes don't respect borders.
They're going to travel across borders.
So we need to have a global response to
these sorts of outbreaks.
I'm willing to bet that zombies don't read maps very
well, and that we're not going to be able to tell them, you
can't cross this border.
So again, we need to have some sort of
transnational response.
And if we look at the history of how we've dealt with
international infectious disease threats, we can see
sort of the ups and downs and the lessons that we can learn
for zombie outbreaks.
So initially, a lot of the early thought was quarantine.
Let's just close off our borders.
Anyone who is infected with this disease, we're going to
shut them off somewhere by themselves.
This makes a certain amount of sense in terms
of an initial impulse.
We'll shove all these people off, and then we'll be fine.
The problem is that it requires perfect information.
You have to know exactly where every case of this illness is.
And when you're dealing with something like zombies, people
may have a reason not to want to tell you that their dad has
become a zombie or that someone has been bitten.
They're afraid that that person's going to then be take
away and no be able to be part of their family anymore.
Even though the fact that they'll eventually try to eat
the rest of them.
That's later.
That's later.
Right now, we want to keep Dad here until he actually does
become a zombie.
So quarantine's not really effective.
And so starting in the 1800s, we saw the international
community coming together to deal with
infectious disease outbreaks.
How do we respond to things that threaten a lot of us?
And in particular, how do we respond to things that
threaten commerce, these diseases that may interrupt
the flow of goods and services across borders.
And so eventually we get to this thing called the
International Health Regulations, the IHR.
And the International Health Regulations came out of a
series of negotiations.
And the idea was, let's share some information.
Let's make sure that we're getting information that's
going to cross borders so we can all work together to find
some sort of outbreak.
So anything that is happening, we'll share this information,
we'll coordinator our policies.
We'll make sure that we're on top of things.
And presumably, these international health
regulations that go back to--
really to the mid-1800s, presumably these international
health regulations would work.
They would be useful here.
It just seemed like it on the surface.
In actuality, they would be horribly, horribly
ineffective.
Because the International Health Regulations as they
were written dealt with only four disease.
So they dealt with plague--
outbreaks of plague, you have to tell
everyone else about that--
they dealt with cholera, they dealt with yellow fever, and
they dealt with smallpox.
If those diseases broke out, then, hey international
community, everyone let's be cool about this.
Let's all share this information about
what's going on.
So if we had zombies that had smallpox,
yes, then we get involved.
Then we have to all work together.
But zombies that are all just walking around eating brains,
they're fair game.
We don't have any institutional mechanism that
exists to deal with this.
And eventually we realize, that's kind of a problem.
Not just because of zombies.
That was not the driving factor for the World Health
Organization.
But since 1975, we have discovered at least 35
infectious diseases that we never knew about before.
And we need to have some sort of way to respond to these new
infectious disease outbreaks and to get the international
community on board.
So really, what drove this home was the outbreak of
things like SARS.
Here was an infectious disease that we'd never before seen.
We need to find some sort or cooperation.
More recent, we've also seen things like avian flu--
and the concern that's arisen over avian flu.
And even more recently, we've had swine flu.
That's a perfect way to get swine flu.
Just as a general rule of thumb, avoiding avian flu and
swine flu, don't make out with animals.
Otherwise, you should be fine.
But these are exactly the sorts of things-- diseases
that we didn't know about before that we have to have
some way to respond.
We have to be able to be active really quickly, and we
have to have institutional mechanisms in place.
So a similar thing would happen with a zombie outbreak.
Here's an infectious agent we didn't know about before.
We've got to have some way to do something about it.
So what the international community did through the
World Health Organization is, in 2005, they revised the
international health regulations.
They created what we call IHR (2005).
So the big things that happened with IHR (2005)--
there were two really important elements.
One is that it said, you've got to have constant
surveillance going on.
States have to be keeping an eye on diseases that are
breaking out-- new illnesses, things that they
haven't seen before--
and setting up a system to report that information.
So you've got to constantly keep an eye out for something
new, something unexpected.
The other thing that was a significant change was to move
toward an all-risk approach.
Instead of specifying specific diseases that we need to
respond to, let's think about what the threats are.
Does this disease pose a particular threat, and if so,
then we'll respond.
And so they developed this handy-dandy decision making
matrix that we can use.
And it's really useful if we want to think about whether or
not we have to report an outbreak of zombieism to the
World Health Organization.
So we have this public health event that's detected.
We find something new.
Hey, there are people eating brains here.
This seems out of the ordinary.
What do we do about this?
Well, we look at our decision making matrix here.
That first chart that's on the far side there-- human cases
of small pox, polio, SARS, and influenza--
not really relevant here.
Again, zombies could have SARS, we don't know, but
that's really not the most pressing issue at this point.
The other two boxes in the middle there--
those are a little more relevant here.
Is this an event of potential national or international
public health concern?
I think we could probably say yeah.
And, are there human cases of diseases that have a proven
ability to cause national or international
public health concern?
If you've seen The Walking Dead, if you've seen
Zombieland, people get kind of freaked out when they discover
that their neighbors are eating each other's brains or
coming into their houses and trying to eat their bones.
This is going to cause them some issues.
So, alright, maybe this is something we have to report.
Maybe this is something we have to deal with.
Then they've got this list of four questions you have to ask
yourself whether or not I have to report this.
Does this have a serious public health impact?
Yeah, I think we can probably be pretty safe there.
People that are having their brains eaten, that constitutes
a public health impact.
Is this an unusual or unexpected event?
I fear the place that says no to that question.
Is there a significant risk of international spread?
Especially if we've got fast zombies, oh yeah, this is
moving and this is moving really quickly.
And it's going to be hard to get in front of this.
And then, finally, is there a significant risk of trade and
travel restrictions?
You know, commerce probably isn't going to be the first
thing that you're going to think about when zombies are
starting to overtake things.
But yeah, you know, you might not want to trade with a
zombie-infested country.
So that could have an effect on trade, and countries might
be tempted to close their borders, understandably.
So if we said yes to at least two of these four issues, we
have to report this to the World Health Organization.
We have to tell the World Health Organization that
there's this new outbreak, and then there's this whole
process that gets going.
The World Health Organization coordinates information, it
shares the information.
It's the organization that is there to respond to this, to
really lead the response that takes place.
Now, there's a reason that we think that this is going to be
better for zombies and SARS and avian flu and all of these
sorts of things.
One is that this new form builds clear lines of
accountability.
If you don't tell us that you have zombies in your country,
you're not living up to your international obligations.
You have this obligation under the World Health Organization,
under the International Health Regulation.
So we have clear lines of accountability that exist.
Second, it builds in a sense of peer-pressure.
We know that you need to be watching for this, and so
we're trying to make sure that you're doing this.
We're going to be putting pressure on you to be
reporting this information, to be living up to your
obligations.
And then finally, the idea is that if you don't report it to
us, if your government doesn't tell the World Health
Organization, we're going to find out anyway.
This idea of naming and shaming, that we may not have
the power to forcibly compel you to tell this information,
but this information is going to get out anyway.
During the SARS epidemic in China, the government was
adamantly opposed to the idea that there was some sort of
new disease that was breaking out and that the international
community had to get involved.
What did happen though, was 120 million text messages were
sent over the course of three days saying, hey, there's this
new disease that the government
isn't telling you about.
That's how the information about SARS got to World Health
Organization.
If a government's trying to keep information about zombies
from not getting to the World Health Organization, it's
going to get there somehow.
And so the World Health Organization can say, look,
we're going to get this information.
You might as well work with us as opposed to working against
us, because this way we can start things sooner.
So in a lot of respects, a zombie outbreak could be an
opportunity for the United Nations system and for global
governance to really come into its own-- to really bring
people together-- to the point where we could have the
zombies addressing the General Assembly of the United Nations
and being able to speak their case.
It'd be a really awkward session of the General
Assembly, but no less awkward than Ahmadinejad speaking to
the General Assembly.
So this could be the moment for the global community to
come together.
The downside, the potential alternative, is that it could
be the opportunity for things to really fall apart.
What we have learned, if we've learned nothing else, is that
a military type of response to the zombies is probably not
going to be supper effective.
If you're read World War Z, that doesn't really
work out too well.
We could theorize about whether or not we would use a
nuclear weapon against zombies.
But really, then what we get is something even worse than
zombies, we have radioactive zombies.
And that's just going to make things all the worse.
So really, a zombie outbreak relies heavily and crucially
upon diplomacy working, and working through these
international systems.
So thank our lucky stars that global governance, in some
bizarre way, managed to think ahead of this.
Our only hope is that we never have to actually put this
system into practice.
Thanks.
[APPLAUSE]
--Zombiecide, which is the killing of zombies, is
unethical behavior in humans.
After all, aren't zombies just humans with some type of
biological condition, and in the words of Rodney King,
"Can't we just all get along?"
We're going to try a different approach tonight.
In this case, we want to investigate the ethics of how
humans will interact with one another following the zombie
apocalypse.
Our next speaker is Dr. Shane Courtland.
He's an assistant professor in the philosophy department.
He received his PhD in philosophy from Tulane
University.
He is an authority on the philosophy of Thomas Hobbes.
And he's published works, including a book with a
chapter title-- and I had to say this-- "Cat Urine,
Medicinal Fried Chicken, and Smoking: South Park's
Anti-Paternalistic Libertarianism." Sounds like a
great chapter.
He teaches a variety of philosophy and ethics courses
here at UMD, including Philosophy of Law, Philosophy
of World Religions, and Medical and
Environmental Ethics.
Dr. Courtland is also the director of the Center for
Ethics and Public Policy at UMD.
Welcome.

Thank you, John.

I gotta get on the right slide, so just give me one
quick second please.
It's kind of stealing my thunder.

Well, like he was saying, my colleague last year--
Dave Cole--
actually presented on annual treatment for zombies.
I'm totally cool with killing them.
I have no problem with that.
In fact, I have a hard time not killing regular people, so
zombies are totally cool.
No offense to the zombies here.
So today I would like to spend a little bit more time talking
about ethics between people--
non-zombiefied people--
in particular in the context of a zombie apocalypse.
In order to do that, we need to kind of get a small
introduction as to what basic ethical theory is.
So this first ethical theory that I want to spend a little
time with is near and dear to my heart.
And it's the social contract theory.
It's a functional account of ethics.
Basically the goal here is to find out what moral systems
actually do, right?
So if you took morality away, what would that be like?
Of course Thomas Hobbes, who's pictured up here in the left
corner looking pretty darn near close to a zombie--
he's not trying to be a zombie,
that's just how he looks.
Ultimately it would be a horrible place.
I'm not going to really go through this whole quote, but
if you look towards the very bottom--
the life of man, solitary, poor, nasty,
brutish, and short.
And we can kind of think why this would be without ethics.
Ultimately there are lots of things that it does for us--
ethical systems.
And without them, you'd have to worry about conflicts
regarding scarcity of resources.
You wouldn't have an ethical system to go to
if it wasn't there.
You'd have to worry about conflicts having to do with
just fear, right?
You just never know if the person next to you is going to
be killing you.
I mean, just to put that in context, look at the
person to your left.
Go ahead-- other left--
all right, now they might smile and look nice to you.
But imagine this.
They're plotting your death.
It is, it's true.
It's happening right now.
And there's going to be nobody to help you.
At any moment, they will kill you and they will [INAUDIBLE].
Now notice, thinking this might change your behavior in
regards to the person next to you.
You might be a little bit skittish.
They might, just for example, like killing
people, you never know.
So what do we get?
We want to get out of this state of nature.
We want to get to a place that actually has a system of
ethics that can govern our life, a rule that can be
basically enforceable.
And these rules, of course-- these ethical rules according
to the social contract--
are mutually advantageous.
What that means essentially is that others like it, say the
neighbor sitting next to you, when you
don't hurt them, right?
And we of course like it when people don't hurt us.
So we agree to live by rules that are mutually
advantageous.
And we restrain our behavior.
I promise not to stick a pen in your eye as long as you
promise not to stick a pen in my eye.
And we're able to get along better.
Now ultimately, there's this thing in social contract
theory referred to as the shadow of the future.
Since this contract is largely about being mutually
beneficial, it's really concerned with how much of a
future we have together.
And things change, right?
So if I'm not going to benefit from a future with you--
say, for example, humanity is going to end--
I don't think I'm going to obey more rules anymore.
I'm not going to make myself a prey to you.
So you can imagine, for the movie The Road Warrior, we
have the one honest man.
It's going to be a short movie.
That honest man's going to die.
On the other hand, if I see that there might be some
benefit of mutual cooperation, I'm going to actually try to
obey ethical rules in regards to you.
Because I can benefit from cooperation with you.
It all is going to depend on how much of a future I view us
having together.
Now, if there is no shadow--
if ultimately our future looks very bleak, say zombies are
coming and humanity looks like it's on the outs--
we should expect a few things.
Ultimately, people are going to forget their past
obligations.
People are not going to really trust the person next to them,
because at any moment they can take stuff from them.
Now I have some clips that kind of show this.
Bear with me.

[VIDEO PLAYBACK]
-I took my chances.
-Don't be an idiot.

-Please, there's people here right now who
could use your help.
-Fuck y'all.
[END VIDEO PLAYBACK]
Hopefully the FCC's not here right now.
That could be bad.
And if it's closed captioned, it's going to be interesting.
So what we saw there is from a film that ultimately I guess
is inspired by Romero, but it comes much later.
It's Dawn of the Dead.
And we see Ving Rhames here, a police officer.
And the police officer, as you saw, was being asked to help,
because he was a police officer.
But as you know, when everything's kind of going to
pot, and it seems like humanity is on the way out,
people having such role responsibilities quickly
forget about them, right?
And they just say, yeah, I'm really not going to be a
police officer anymore.
I don't care about my badge.
And we see this actually happening, or at least in some
instances-- so Katrina, for example.
Of course, New Orleans is not the most ethical place to
begin with, but when things went bad with Katrina, we saw
a lot of police officers just leaving.
We saw some police officers were in fact stealing--
cars and the like--
and driving to Houston.
And that's just a small contained thing.
New Orleans was eventually going to come back to its kind
of OK self.
It was nowhere near the zombie apocalypse.
If we get to a zombie apocalypse, we should expect
things to happen much worse.
I think we can say that.
The next part, 28 Weeks Later, we see a father right there,
Robert Carlyle.
He is actually at the very beginning of the movie--
I'm not going to show a clip because it's almost impossible
for me to find it--
he ultimately is living with his family.
Zombies break in, he has a chance to save his wife, and
he says, to hell with that.
I'm just running.
It's survival based, so he's thinking, this is it, and then
survival kicks in.
And when we see no shadow for the future, we should expect
things like this.
Now we have some more contemporary-- so
Shawn of the Dead.
The core about this is, this group of individuals decided
they're going to go wait everything out at the
Winchester.
And if you remember, at the Winchester, Simon Pegg--
this fellow right there, Shawn--
reads Bertrand Russell, right?
The only thing that will redeem mankind is cooperation.
I think we can all appreciate the relevance
of that now, right?
And the reason that you would want cooperation, and you'd
probably see it, at least in small little subsets, is that
you need people to watch you when you see sleep.
You need people to watch your back.
You can see this of course here with The
Walking Dead as well.
This is actually from the first episode of the season.
You need people to be behind you, because you can't see
that zombie right there.
Especially if you're Rick, you're in trouble.
Now you need these people to back you up.
And so that's the other thing we might predict if we have a
social contract ethic.
We will see these little groups of people actually
acting in a mutually beneficial manor.
Now, for the next theory--
this one you've probably heard of-- this is classical
utilitarianism.
We have some figures--
Bentham right there, Jeremy Bentham, and John Stuart Mill.
Classical utilitarianism is really easy to sum up.
So the right action, according to this theory, is the action
that better furthers or maximizes happiness and that
minimizes unhappiness.
Now to split that up into three parts--
first, actions are to be judged right or wrong solely
by virtue of their consequences.
Nothing else matters.
So it's consequentialism, meaning that the
ends justify the means.
The ends are very important.
Two, in assessing consequences, the only thing
that matters is the amount of happiness or unhappiness that
is created.
Everything else is irrelevant, so happiness is very
important to them.
And finally, each person's happiness counts as the same.
So you're no better than the person sitting next to you.
Your happiness is just as important as their happiness.
And so a utilitarian will try to figure out how to get the
most happiness in this world, right?
Now, another way to think of this is when you think about
two different questions.
What things are good, and what actions are right?
Now, these questions of course are different questions.
So we can kind of split them up, and you can see we do that
with one here.
We can have a wrong action bring a lot of good, right?
So I could be trying to, say, poison one of my friends.
I rarely do that, but if I did--
I poisoned one of my friends and it just so happens to have
a life-saving medicine in it.
I did the wrong thing, but it had good results.
Another thing we could say is that we can have right actions
bring a lot of bad, right?
So I can refuse to take somebody's life and that
person could end up hurting a lot of other people.
You might say, well maybe he did the right action by not
killing that person, but it led to a bad result.
Now for utilitarianism, they want to say that what is right
as far as actions leads directly to what is good.
So right actions are defined by utilitarians as what brings
the most good.
So what is good for a utilitarian--
pleasure.
What's the right action-- whatever maximizes or gives us
more pleasure.
So we see some of this--
say in World War Z. So World War Z we have the zombie
apocalypse breaking out all over the world.
And ultimately, they have to find a way to
kind of contain it.
So they pick a particular procedure.
It comes from, say Africa, particular
how they deal with--
or it was a doomsday theory with apartheid.
What they'll do is they'll sacrifice large urban centers
to zombie apocalypse parts-- zombie death--
in order to save the vast majority of people.
So they'll sacrifice thousands to save millions essentially.
And this, as you can see, is sort of a utilitarian
calculation.
So what they're doing is, they're going,
well, death's bad.
Let's minimize it.
Lets do what we can.
Granted some innocent will have to die, but that's what
we have to do in order to survive.
Now probably you've seen this.
This was last season on The Walking Dead.
So what happens here is Shawn, or Shane--
I don't want to say Shane because you might get the
wrong idea.
Shane and Otis are going to get basically equipment to
help one of the people in their group.
Shane realizes that they probably won't
make it, both of them.
So he kind of makes a decision.
Let me show you.

As you can see, Otis was going completely
willingly right there.
Now the point here is, at least with that version of
ethics, sacrifices have to be made and the person being
sacrificed won't necessarily agree that they have to be the
one being sacrificed.
So ultimately, Shane went ahead nonetheless.
Now the final theory that I want to go through is this
theory referred to as non-consequentialism.
It's actually the polar opposite of what we just
talked about.
And in this particular theory, the right action is separate
from what constitutes good.
So in this particular case, sometimes doing the right
thing requires you to do something that doesn't promote
the best state of affairs, right?
Sometimes doing the right thing requires you not to
promote the good.
And a common thing that you maybe have heard--
justice though the heavens may fall.
And to sound really cool, I have the Latin phrase right
down there.
Now I'm going to do a particular version.
This is Kant's version.
We have Immanuel Kant over there looking very
intimidating.
There are two basic sorts of things we have to talk about--
first, price.
Price is something that you can basically say you can
trade for something that's equivalent.
So, this podium thing--
I could probably get money and exchange for it to get
something like its equal.
Dignity, on the other hand, is above all price.
What that means is, you can't exchange something for it.
Now whenever we treat something that has dignity as
though it had a price, it seems repugnant.
So for example, I just recently had a child towards
the beginning of this month.
And say the child dies.
Now imagine somebody comes up to me and they were like, it
seems bad, Shane.
It really does.
But the good news is, nine months from now, you can pop
out another--
not me, my wife, right?
That would be odd.
But you can get another one right out.
And the good news is, since that baby really wasn't around
so much, this stuff is barely used.
You can still use the room, you can still use the clothes.
It's a very low cost.
Now note, when you say things like that, you're kind of not
really appreciating that this baby has value that's not
something you can exchange for.
It's something in and of itself, a dignity.
Likewise, the same thing happens to my wife.
Say my wife passes on.
And I'm all broken up about it, I'm really sad.
And you're like, Shane, it's not that bad.
You know, with technology nowadays--
what is it, eHarmony, 23 degrees of compatibility.
You'll get right back on your feet, probably in a month.
You'll be doing well.
It'll be longer than that-- my wife's not here, thank god.
So now the core of Kant's non-consequentialism is what's
referred to as the categorical imperative.
And he has many iterations of this.
But the one that's the most intuitive is the second
formulation.
So act that you use humanity, whether in your own person or
in the person of any others, always at the same time as an
end, never merely as a means.
What that means is, I can't just treat people like they
are a tool for me to manipulate, and
to get certain things.
They have dignity.
I can't just exchange them for my ends.
Now likewise, I can't exchange them for greater utility, so
where utilitarianism gets wrong, according to this
theory, they exchange people in order to promote the good.
So Shane [INAUDIBLE]
right, Shane goes, yeah, you know what, we really need
these things, these medical devices.
I'm going to trade Otis for it.
He's using Otis as a mere means to an end.
And of course, this theory would find that dramatically
inappropriate.
Another example--
this is a common sort of trope that happens--
how do you treat those who have been bitten?
Alright, this is another example from a Romero, I
guess, inspired movie, Day of the Dead.

[VIDEO PLAYBACK]
[END VIDEO PLAYBACK]
If you are going to fight a zombie, don't use bleach.
I just want to tell everybody it's probably not a good idea.
Now, what I want you to note here is that if you're using
this Kantian ethic, if you were just going to shoot them
without even asking, you'd be using them merely as a means
to an end, alright?
Ultimately, the goal here is your security.
You don't want to wait till he turns, so you
just shoot him, right?
On the other hand, if you were a true Kantian, you might wait
till they volunteer.
"Oh, okay shoot me now.
I'm ready." Now the reason that this might be bad is that
they might turn into a zombie, and you could die.
Now note, since Kant is a non-consequentialist, he's
going to say that the possibility of you dying
because you waited is of no concern.
Doing the right thing is important even if there are
bad consequences at the end of the day.
Alright?
If you were to just use that person, that would be immoral.

I have a dilemma.
And I'm going to have you participate here.
Don't worry, nobody's really going to be
running for their life.
Yet.
So here's an example.
I want to see how you guys would answer it.
So right now, there's this hallway right here.
And there's a zombie horde that's coming up that hallway.
First class animation, I know.
So you are, as an individual, in a sort of control room.
You're seeing this all happen on closed-circuit TV.
Now, there are five people in this room.
There's one person in this room.
Right now, the lights are on.
All the lights are on.
The only control you have in that control room is by
pressing a button you can cut power.
All the lights will go out.
Except there's an emergency light right here that's
battery operated and will flicker.
So if you do nothing and leave the lights on, the zombies are
just going to go and eat these five people, right, because
they're the first people they'll see.
And now one person will have time to get away.
They'll go out a window or something.
On the other hand, if you press the button and shut off
all the power, then they won't see the five people.
They'll be mesmerized by this flickering light.
They'll walk past the five, eat that one, and that gives
five people the time to get out.
So the question, do you cut the power to save the five
people, but one person dies?
So raise your hand if you cut the power.
I know it's regrettable.
They'll be missed.
Or he will be missed.
Alright, that's what I thought.
Let's go to the next example.

So you are on this particular house.
There's a house here, or building--
a building right here.
Across this way you construct a rudimentary bridge, just a
couple planks of wood.
And on this bridge, there's a big guy.

He works out, he's a football player.
Don't worry about him.
Now, what's happening is the zombie horde is going below
you in this alleyway.
Like that.
I know, I have a future at Pixar.
So ultimately, there's five people on this side of the
zombie horde who are trying to get to this end.
But there's a fence, it's a chain-linked fence.
They have to climb over it.
Now this zombie horde is going pretty quickly.
These are fast moving zombies.
And it looks like, from what you can tell, the zombie horde
is going to overtake those five people and eat them.
But you also figure something out.
Now you're on this side of that little wooden bridge.
All you have to do is kick the bridge.
And if you just kick the bridge just a little bit, the
big guy will go tumbling in, right in front of the horde.
And since he's a big football guy, he's a strapping guy,
he'll fight them off long enough.
He's going to die, that's what's going to happen.
But it will be a long enough distraction to
save the five people.
They'll get over the fence.
So how many of you, by raising your hand, would kick the
board and sacrifice the football player?
Not so many hands this time.
What I want you to note is that this is basically the
example of what we just talked about.
There really isn't any difference as far as numbers.
Here people have a tendency to be outright, full-on
utilitarians.
It's the outright, full-on utilitarians that are like,
five's better than one.
That's obvious.
Here they tend to be a little bit more Kantian in nature.
Like, surely you can't just push over that guy.
For those people that are a little bit more skittish--
or not more skittish, but more accommodating, who are like,
"Oh, I'll push him in."
So let's change the example a little bit.

All you have to do is go, "Oops." Raise your hand if
you'd push him in.
Hands went down again, right?
Now there's still hands going up--
I'm not going to stand by you anytime soon.
But notice the closer and closer you get to people, the
less inclined you are to sacrifice them.
That's interesting.
Ironically enough, there's really nothing different,
rationally, between this.
You're still just sacrificing one person
for the greater good.
But it seems like if you have to touch them-- oh, now we
can't do that.
If I can press a button?
Totally cool.
I'll go ahead and sacrifice however many just
to save that group.
But as soon as I touched him--
No, no I can't do that.
Now I just wanted to give you that sort of food for thought
in that ultimately, you might have
favorite ethical theories.
You might say, well this theory seems abundantly clear
and obvious.
But the point of the matter is, we have different
intuitions, each of us at different moments.
When you get into the zombie apocalypse--
which was going to be happening on I think, what is
it, December 21?
Anyways.
When that happens, you're going to be present in these
situations that are going to pull you in different sorts of
directions, a and you're not going to know how to act.
And you're going to have these ethical theories, but it's not
going to be obvious even with those theories.
Right?
Thanks.

Our next speaker is going to address a very controversial
topic in the zombie research community.
It has to do with zombie speed.
And this is a very heated debate.
Danny Boyle introduced the fast zombie.
Simon Pegg reversed with the slow zombie.
And then we had the fat zombie in the remake
of Dawn of the Dead.
I just want to emphasize that the creator of the modern
zombie is a staunch advocate for the slow zombie.
And I want to read you--
this is just a short line from George Romero.
He was interviewed after the remake of Dawn of the Dead,
and he's commenting about the speed of the zombie.
"They can't run.
That's the other thing I insist on.
28 Days Later I can forgive, because they were not dead.
They were infected with some kind of virus.
So they're still human, therefore they could still be
people who move fast.
That Dawn of the Dead remake?
Christ.
What did they do, get up from the dead and go up and join a
membership at a gym?"
So that is the heated issue that our next presenter will
present for us.
This is Dr. Morris Levy.
Dr. Levy is an Associate Professor in Biomechanics in
the Department of Health, Physical Education, and
Recreational Sports.
He received his Ph.D. from Oregon State
University at Corvallis.
He teaches courses on human biomechanics and statistical
research methods in exercise science.
And he's also taught an international studies course
on soccer in England, which was [INAUDIBLE] with the
history department.
One of his research papers was titled, "Comparative
kinematics of full-weight-bearing and
suspended running." And we look forward to your talk.
But I actually wanted to just say one thing.
So my wife spoke with your wife and we found out that
actually today is your birthday.
Is that true?
And that today is your 50th birthday?
No, it's my 30th 30th exponent 1, 1, 1, 5, [INAUDIBLE].
It's a big birthday.
And I think the fact that you're here sharing your
birthday with us tonight, I [INAUDIBLE]
[APPLAUSE]
[INAUDIBLE]

So these are real jello brains, just like your mom
used to make.
I don't think we've got fifty candles on there.
But we do have a pianist in the room.
[PIANO PLAYING, SINGING 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' SONG]

I got my--
how many calories did I just eat?

Thank you very much.
Thank you.
I managed to [? find ?] the whole day without telling
anybody that it was my birthday today.
[INAUDIBLE]

Well, it was a good try.

So I'm supposed to talk about zombie commotion.
I know there's a big debate about the fat zombie or the
slow zombies.
And I'm really going to focus more on the slow zombies,
because I think the fat zombies are
really a different animal.
Essentially, you could look at human locomotion, and regular
locomotion, running locomotion, then you'd be
looking at fat zombie locomotion.
I think it's really different.
So I want to focus a bit more on the slow zombie.
And to give you a bit of a synopsis of what it is like to
look at locomotion in general.
And so, the first thing we need to know is that, a zombie
is going to be slow, so we're not going to have to worry
about the speed of light.
So we are going to go back to the model that
is a Newtonian model.
That's Newton, in case you didn't know.
And yes, Newton did find inspiration
from the apple tree.
It is--
I believe [? Sir Williams ?] taught me in a biography of
Newton, mentioned that Newton asked the question.
He said, "Why did the apple fall down?" essentially
thinking, "Why doesn't it go up?"
So of course that gives us gravity.
Now we like gravity.
Gravity is our friend, right?
Because if we didn't have gravity, well, we'd make a
motion and we wouldn't be there anymore.
Because we'd fly off.
So gravity is your friend.
And I'm going show you how gravity is your friend.
And, I used to do research on mountain biking so I had to
put something in there.
And it's our friend because he's going to be
able to come back.
But it's also a bit dangerous because
sometimes things happen.
And of course, gravity is a constant.
He came out all right.

He's fine, he came out all right.
As a matter of fact, there is another video that you can
find and actually, it's from his point-of-view, of the
guy's point-of-view.
So he's actually miked to himself, and he goes down, and
he goes up, and then the moment he leaves the bike,
there's an expletive coming out.
He comes down, and then the camera keeps on running and
you see the same picture for about thirty seconds because
he can't move.

So I meant to actually put another picture before this
one, but as Janet mentioned earlier, it is
all about the brain.
And locomotion is all about the brain.
We can think of locomotion as a set of movements.
And now this is a general picture--
I know it's not PG-13.
But this is actually one of the original persons involved
in motion mechanics.
His name is Eadweard Muybridge.
And he was very interested in locomotion and in all kinds of
things, taking pictures of animals, and
taking literally pictures.
So these are really interesting pictures.
What I like about this picture is that it shows a normal
human being walking, both on the sagittal plane, it cuts
you left and right, in the left and right half.
And then in the frontal plane, the frontal plane would cut
you in the front and the back.
And you can see that in a normal human being you'll be
having a particular step.
Probably like this.
And that your motion will be essentially driven by cycle
lengths and then of course a cycle rate of how quickly you
are going to step.
So you're going to step lengths, and how fast you're
going to step.
Now us humans, we can walk comfortably about 2.2 meter
per second.
That's about 4 miles an hour a little bit more
than 4 miles an hour.
Now, it's right, you can walk much faster, but it becomes
mechanically complicated for you.
It's very demanding and it's probably easier to run.
So walking is probably best, in that particular case.
If you're going to walk a fairly slow speed.
Zombies probably can walk four miles an hour.
I will explain the reason why they can do so.
It's because, more than likely, they have a
compromised brain function.
We know that there are things when you walk that are
invariant to essentially the individual at hand.
So that means that when you are walking, and if I look at
different angles--
these are different angles that you make, that you're
knee makes, your hip makes, you're ankle
makes with each other--
if you look at how they fit within the particular plane,
they are invariant to the speed at which you're going.
Well, a zombie doesn't do that.
And so that means that--
[? I should go back. ?]
This invariance means that it's not about the rigid
length system.
It has to have a higher motor function than is
associated with it.
And so of course, that's where Janet was right, it's all
about the brain, because the brain is essentially going to
control your walking movement.
So how do we generate walking?
Well, in this particular case--
this is probably not the best.
First of all, before we generate walking, we probably
need to think in terms of stability.
Walking is really a way of--
we really continuously fall.
So how are we stable?
Well, we're stable but in two ways.
We're stable by--
we can increase stability by
increasing the base of support.
We can step larger and wider, and if you are trying to push
me off, it's going to be a little harder for you to do.
I can also lower my center of mass, my center of gravity.
And that's going to be harder for you to do it because the
excursion that my center of gravity has to make to be
outside the base support.
It's a little bit longer in that particular case.
And that's what it's trying to generate.
So you see this line of gravity that is here.
In this case, it's over the base support.
In this case, not over the base support, so
Paul Bunyan will fall.
But we won't really fall because--

the reason why you will fall is really
because you have created--
this is probably not the best picture to express that-- but
it's because of what you've created.
You've created a force causing a rotation.
That's called a torque.
So once your center of gravity is-- the line of your center
of gravity moves outside your base support, like I'm doing
now, I fall.

And the speed at which I will do so, it will be driven by
the magnitude of this force--
your weight-- and the [? mobile ?] arm is the blue
thing, the letter.
So if we think about zombies now, here is the expression
that you have.
This is how you generate movement.
Or you initiate movement, as we were talking earlier.
You need to lean forward in order to make that step.
And then you continuously make that step.
And you can keep moving.
Now, the zombie has a problem because the zombie brain is
compromised.
And the zombie brain--
the basal nuclei, is being compromised, probably the
cerebellum, as well--
the zombie cannot generate movement the way we do.
It's very unstable in this kind of position.
So what the zombie will probably do is he will have a
need to increase his base of support a little bit.
And he will probably lean slightly forward, very much
like the condition that you know as Parkinson's disease.
Probably won't have the shaking of the hands, and be
in control of movement.
There will probably be a little bit more control, but
the similarity will be there.
So you will have a fairly wide person, and
then leaning forward.
Which is why I said that a zombie cannot walk that fast,
because if you tried to walk fast when you have your legs
about this far apart, about shoulder's width apart, and
needing to keep control.
So if the zombie stays too close to himself like this and
he tries to go too fast, he will probably topple over.
Now that's a good thing because once he topples over--

you're probably too young for that particular advertisement,
"I've fallen and I can't get up." That's the zombie.
In the example of the Parkinson's patient, we chose
a very small--
if you're going to have a small base of support, you're
also going to have a very small step.
So if you want to go faster, you're going to have to
increase your base of support to move like that.
I've seen a few of the zombie [INAUDIBLE]
they seem to be walking.
Now, the "I've fallen and can't get up" is so important
to us because, what will the zombie do once he's down?
Or she's down.
Is zombie "zombia" when it's a her?
I think there's a lot of semantics
that need to be resolved.

Like, you're either dead or not dead, and so if you're not
anywhere between, there's no need for this other word,
because undead is not helpful.
I think next year you need an English professor.

So let's go back to our tripping, and the issue of the
person being on the ground.
I mentioned the issue of torque, the issue of rotation,
being able to be getting up.
Now if you've fallen--
and I'm not going to do that because Jason [? Davis ?]
[INAUDIBLE] really well.
Now once you're down, the problem is that zombies also
have a problem with joint stiffness.
We know that, and so they don't have the knee flexion,
the arm flexion is very limited.
So imagine yourself trying to get up without being able to
really bend your knee very much, and without being able
to actually--
once you're flat on the ground like this-- to try to push
with your arm in a fairly extended position.
It's going to be very hard for you to do.
And the reason is because you need to apply a force very far
away from the point of rotation.
And your mass is too large, so that means you have to create
a lot of torque, and you don't have enough force to initiate
a lot of torque.
Now the zombies need a lot of calories, I granted that.
Now I don't know if zombies go to the gym or anything like
that, but my suspicion is that zombies muscle
mass is fairly limited.
I think that zombies lose muscle mass over time.
Mainly because, well [? 2.1 ?]
brain [? today is ?] a lot, especially if there's not a
lot of us left.
So when you've fallen and can't get up, you don't notice
the way we tend to do things.
We tend to bend our knees or we will bend our arms.
And so the reason for doing that is because we are
decreasing the potential--
the [? movement ?]
arm, that lever, if you want, so that it's
easier for us to rotate.
Notice--
this is not like [INAUDIBLE].

But notice what the zombie would do because I suspect
that some of you have a question, hey can they always
climb themselves up?
Yes, they can, but they can't do this.
So they will have to climb up with an extended leg, so
essentially an extended leg like this, and they'll have to
have a lot of flexibility in their lower back
in order to do that.
Now I grant to you, probably, pain is not an issue for a
zombie, but it's still going to be a major
problem for them to do.
They're really not going to move very much.
So if you can make a zombie fall, or be on the ground,
you're probably going to be safe for a while.
Now, I agree--
Shane talked about a horde of zombies.
Now that's a problem.
Because you can get one to fall but then there is a whole
bunch of them.
That's probably one of the reasons why zombies are more
effective as a group.
Because if you push one away-- let's imagine that you push
one away, there is one behind him that is very stiff and
quite stable, because they tend to be very stable.
So it's going to be very hard.
You're going to push and there is another one coming up, so
it's still going to be hard.
So what you need to do is to find strategies, and this is
where Jason is going to talk about.
But find strategy to be able to get them one-on-one.
So we've devised strategy so that the corridor--
Shane's corridor is great, but let's make the
corridor one person.
Then we don't have to sacrifice anybody.
[INAUDIBLE]

So, that would be a good thing.
I think John, you mentioned at our [? meeting, ?] he said,
well let's get them up an elevator.
Now that's a great idea.
Those escalators.
It's a great idea.
You get one escalator, you push one,
[? and it probably ?] they're going to all fall.
[INAUDIBLE]
So there is a lot of strategy that you use.
And it's all based on the very basic concept
that zombies are so--

they're very stable, but once they are down, they're going
to be down for awhile.
So, the next presenter will tell you how to get them down.
Thank you very much.

OK, so our final presenter of the evening
is Dr. Jason Davis.
Last year, Edward Downs talked about video games and how
gamers, who are obsessively killing zombies, are going to
ultimately help us, because they're becoming
highly-trained in how to kill zombies.
But what happens when you don't have an AK-47 because
you weren't able to storm the armory and the [INAUDIBLE],
and yet you still have zombies threatening
yourself and your family?
Well, you're going to have to turn your
own body into a weapon.
And to show us how to do that is Dr. Jason Davis.
He's in the Information Technology Manager-- he is one
for the university.
And he received his doctorate in Education from the
University of Minnesota.
When I first approached Jason about speaking at Zombie Fest,
he first mentioned a zombie computer virus.
And I think we'll reserve that for next year.
He quickly turned the conversation to one of his
hobbies, and that is martial arts.
Jason has a second degree black belt jiu-jitsu.
And in addition to teaching UMD seminars and writings that
he programmed here, he also teaches jiu-jitsu at UMD.
So we welcome you, and hopefully you'll teach us some
good techniques.

Thank you, Don.
Can you hear me all right?
OK, I have one other guest who's going to help me with
some demonstrations-- that's Sohn Wehseler.
Sohn, can you come up here?
Sohn is a fifth degree black belt in Danzan Ryu jiu-jitsu.
He's my sensei.
He also has been a sensei in jiu-jitsu and judo in Danzan
Duluth for almost 25 years, I believe.
Excellent sensei.
Great all-around person.
Also someone who could, if he so chooses, could kill a
person with his bare hands.
Great person all-around.

So one of my students here at UMD was concerned on my
behalf, and asked me, don't you think it's going to
cheapen the whole jiu-jitsu thing a little bit if you
bring it together with the zombie thing?
Isn't it going to be a little undignified?
And my response to her was, well, I put on these pajamas
five days a week and pretend to beat people up.
So how is my Batman complex more dignified than zombies?

And I think you have to be a little bit out of balance to
do jiu-jitsu.
And so it lends itself to also being obsessive-impulsive
about zombies and everything else.
Not you, you're a mature [? and good ?] adult.
I'm only referring to myself here.
OK.
But as John mentioned earlier, when you start to combine
things and you start to re-frame what you already know
about something, it gives you an excellent opportunity to
just broaden that thought experiment a little bit.
And now, when we step on the mat, instead of trying to
figure out how best to counter something that a person's
going to do to us, now we re-frame it and think about,
how would a zombie do it differently?
And what would that mean in terms of our technique?
It'd actually give us a great opportunity to review what
works about jiu-jitsu on people.
So, with that said, first thing I need is a few
volunteers who are not intimidated by the thought of
great bodily harm.
Do I have a couple of volunteers?
I'm looking for particular--
and it would help to have a high degree of pain tolerance.
Very high would help.
Really, zombies would be preferable.
Everyone knows what it looks like--
[? have you ?] gotten UFC 24 hours a day on YouTube.
We know what it looks like to beat up a person.
Big deal.
So I'm not getting any volunteers.
Can we bring those brains back down here?
What if I throw brains in?
Will I get some zombies?
All right, there's a good one.
All right.
Hey, coincidentally, some of these
zombies are wearing gi's.
Yes, wonderful.
One thing about a gi.
People wonder whether a gi is--
how that changes your jiu-jitsu or judo.
A gi is just a t-shirt that has multiple uses as far as
throwing something.
It does give us a little more protection
when we hit the ground.

Let me talk a little bit about Danzan Ryu jiu-jitsu.
It was founded in the 1920s by an immigrant from Japan.
He moved to Hawaii.
He took very traditional Japanese martial art.
It's informed by jiu-jitsu, judo, lots of Western styles,
even Hawaiian [? KoDenKai. ?]
And ju means gentle, jitsu means art.
So it's the gentle art.
Jigoro Kano who was the founder of Judo said, push
when pulled, pull when pushed.
So the idea is, use leverage instead of strength.
And use science, really, instead of brute force.
There's a heavy emphasis on grappling, but it is a very
complete martial art.
I'm going to talk about most of the types or
classifications of techniques that we use in jiu-jitsu.
I'm specifically not going to talk about weapons, because we
just don't have time.
We do use weapons, but we are [INAUDIBLE].
And I didn't know if I could get volunteers if I had
weapons already.

So let's move on, and we'll just kind of explore each
classification of techniques and how
they'd work on zombies.
Now, let's just set some ground rules for the types of
zombies we're talking about.
We're talking about walking dead or
original Romero zombies.
Right.
We're talking about the fast-moving zombies.
Fast-moving zombies from 28 Days Later, do your jiu-jitsu
incredibly well and run like hell.
So that's [? gone. ?]
So now we'll talk about slow zombies.
Slow zombies have pain
tolerance, a high pain tolerance.
I presume they have a lack of circulation; we'll talk about
that a little bit.
They have a very upright posture, which actually is a
perfect way to play Olympic judo.
It's a wonderful way to avoid getting
thrown in some context.
And they have the movement that was just described to us.
And then they have some unique likely attacks or counters
that we typically don't expect on the jiu-jitsu mat.
All right.
So first I want to talk about Ukemi rolls and falls.
This is something that you have to learn
on Day One in jiu-jitsu.
And we typically learn this just to survive the stuff that
we're going to learn later, the cool stuff.
Now, I'm going to have to ask you to suspend your disbelief
for a minute and pretend that these zombies are humans.
Would you guys come out onto the mat and demonstrate what a
Sutemi or a self-sacrifice fall would look
like were you human.

All right, thank you.
And that is basically--
that's upon two inches of foam.
It's fairly hard.
Facility's management made me bring it in to keep the blood
up off the floor.
It's just enough to not break any bones, but
still nice and firm.
And I would argue that this is an incredible skill set to
have as a human for two reasons.
One, what happens in every zombie movie is that
eventually somebody makes a mistake and becomes the
slowest person in the group.
And that mistake, if it happens to be a fall and a
broken leg or something along those lines--
having this skill set can help you avoid that.
And then you may not be the fastest person but you're not
the slowest person, and that's good.
And the other thing is because we do this hundreds and
hundreds of times a week-- again, talking about that
mental imbalance I mentioned earlier--
we have to get up that many times and we get really quick
at getting up and really fast at getting up.
So that's a good skill set.
So now let's talk about strikes.
So, as I talk about each type of technique, I'm going to
talk about some of the aspects of the technique and some of
the effects.
I'm not being comprehensive here, but I think
you'll get the idea.
So typically a strike is precise.
You generate a certain amount of force, and you use your
hips and your full body to generate as
much force as possible.
And you come at a certain direction so that you hit
that, maybe avoiding a block, or maybe to hit something just
right to cause the right damage in the right direction.
And on a person, the effects would be pain or shock.
You'd knock somebody unconscious and there would be
a certain amount of damage.
So Sohn's going to show us a couple of these strikes, some
of our basic strikes.
First one, Atemi Ichi, is a hammer fist to the jaw.

And then, next one he's going to show us, Mae Geri Ichi,
front kick.
[ZOMBIE GROANING]
Hu!
[ANGRY GRUMBLING]
All right.
So strikes, as you can see, is sort of a mixed bag.
When it comes to the typical knock-out punch, not
necessarily a good chance of reward hitting
a zombie that way.
In fact, if you skin your knuckles, now you're a zombie,
so that's a bad thing.
On the other hand, the kick, if it causes enough damage,
may [INAUDIBLE]
the zombie to at least slow him down, even though you're
not going to knock him out the way you might expect to do on
a person, you can, at least partially [INAUDIBLE]
a zombie.
So, strikes have some limited effect on the [? sensei. ?]
Now let's talk about escapes.
This is a really a great aspect of jiu-jitsu.
The idea here is, somebody put some type of a hold on you,
and get out of that hold.
You use surprise and you use leverage to your advantage.
Shift the control, create some distance.
And we'll show you a couple of escapes real quickly.
Sohn's going to show you Momiji Hazushi, which is a
choke [? stick. ?]

Hu!

And then here's one that you'll see a lot in both
zombie movies and Olympic judo.
Kata Eri Hazushi lapel escape.

Hu!

[INAUDIBLE] aggressiveness.
And the zombie, too.
So, as you can see, I'd say that the escapes that we
practice are 100% effective, because
getting away, using leverage--
perfect, perfect match for a zombie defense.
And after all, what you really want to do as the horde is
coming, it's that one zombie that grabbed his shirt that
really is going to be your undoing.
So getting rid of that and being able to run--
great thing.
All right, let's talk about holds.
So there are various types of holds.
Typically, a hold uses pain compliance, it uses leverage.
And the effects are to coerce the person or to set up
another technique, hold them long enough so that you can
apply something at a little more brutal level.
So we'll show you a couple holds.
Honyaku [? knee, ?]
which is a basic reverse hammerlock.

[ZOMBIE GRUNTING]
So typically, there would be an element of pain.
And a zombie, maybe not the pain.
But there's two points of control, and you're getting
those two points that are opposite each other.
So there's a reasonable amount of control but not [? in ?]
compliance.
And now I want to show you, or I want to have Sohn show you,
rather, Shiho Gutame, which would be
a very common hold-down.

All right, so you can see he's using leverage and basically
crushing the face with his stomach.
25 seconds from now, the referee would call the match
and he would win the judo tournament.
Unfortunately--

not a good idea on zombies.
So the first lock was somewhat successful.
The first hold was somewhat successful.
The next one was incredibly successful, but there was this
sort of what we'll call collateral damage [INAUDIBLE].
So we'll skip those hold-downs, especially those
that expose him to that harm.
Now let's talk about joint locks.
And this, incidentally, is a screen capture from a movie
called Tokyo Zombie from 2004.
And this is what it looks like.
It's an individual using a very common arm bar and
putting his thigh right across that zombie's face.
And there are no dire consequences, for some reason,
for him doing that in the movie.
So I'm pretty disappointed.
I have pretty much exhausted my Netflix subscription for
zombie movies.
But then I got to this point, so.
That's, again, that imbalance.
Let's get to the aspects of joint locks.
There's pain compliance, so there's leverage.
And the effects are getting coercion, getting submission,
a tapout, or breaking the joint-- incapacitation.
So we'll show you a couple of them.
We'll show you a fine joint manipulation.
Moroyubi Tori is a multiple finger break.

That's a good come-along if you're a bouncer at the bar.
All right.
And again, on a zombie, how well is that going to work?
Well, incompliance is 99% of that technique.
And breaking fingers is definitely going to slow a
zombie down.
And then Ude Tori is arm break.
And there are lots of ways to do this.
There's a way that you saw in the
picture, which is putting--
laying out.
I don't really want to show you how to do it on a zombie.

So once again, we're not getting pain compliance here,
but we are getting a reasonable amount of coercion,
adjustment, or leverage.
But what would that look like were we to do it on a
different-sized zombie or a zombie with different physical
characteristics?
Let's see it one more time.

Ahh!

As you can see, we blew our whole special effects budget
[INAUDIBLE].

So you've got possible decomposition issues
[INAUDIBLE]
So, and some radiation's not recommended at all.
Any kicks where you put your ankle across their face works
great on a human who's choosing not to bite you.
Doesn't work on a zombie.
OK.
So we have a mixed bag, again.
Oh.
This is actually for a talk I'm giving
next week in Denver.
I don't know how it ended up in this slide.

We're ready to talk about chokes.
So chokes have some of the same aspects
in compliance, leverage.
And then there's this blood constriction thing.
And then the effects, again, are control, submission, and
this case the incapacitation is unconsciousness.
So there was a study done by the University of Calgary
about a year and a half ago to talk about how
blood chokes work.
And they were studying how police officers could
basically put the sleeper hold on perpetrators and what the
effects would be.
So they actually used police officers as their volunteers.
And they did a very, very interesting study where they
could not quite tell what was causing a blood choke to work.
But the theory is there's three possible reasons that a
blood choke works.
One is that you're stopping the blood flow for the vein.
And the way you do that is by putting pressure on this
carotid sinus.
The carotid artery splits into two.
One goes inside and one goes outside the skull.
And there's a little space there called a sinus.
And when you put pressure on that, you're not allowing
blood to get up into the brain.
And as a result--
Brains.
And as a result, oxygen doesn't get up there and a
person goes unconscious.
Now if you stop air by pressuring the trachea, that
takes a few minutes.
It's just like holding your breath underwater, only a
little less pleasant.
But this blood choke, which is what you see when you see
somebody get choked out, is very quick.
It can be just a few seconds, and somebody will go out.
And so it's very effective.
There are other theories that maybe the fluctuation in blood
pressure that sort of sets the reset on a person's brain, or
it might be that waste not clearing out.
But in any event, it's a black box to me.
I know that if I apply pressure it works, a person
goes to sleep.
That's a good thing.
I don't think zombies have intact enough circulation for
this to work.
And you can see that that same structure here is compromised
in this example of a zombie.
So I doubt that the blood choke is going to work in the
way that we want it to work.
But let's try it.

So, Gyaku Eri Shime, reverse lapel constriction.

Just for fun, pretend you're a human again.

All right.

So if you're a human, what you see is the dark circle closing
smaller and smaller and smaller.
It feels kind of nice.
You'll feel a little bit warm.
If you remember to tackle, that's good.
Eventually, you'll be gone either way.
Now let's look at a really classic one, the Sankaku
Gatame triangle choke.
[ZOMBIE GRUMBLING]
All right.

Once again, very effective choke.
And there's an arm bar hidden in that one, too.

So, how'd it work on zombies?
Well, we're not going to get a choker, we
already decided that.
But you have somewhat effective control with the
first technique.
Second technique, again, you're having issues.
So, I think you probably don't want a zombie's face anywhere
near the collateral damage area.

So mixed bag.
All right, throws.
This is the most fun part that we get to.
This is what we look forward to.
So I'm going to talk about some of the parts of throws.
We could split this into types of throws and we could spend
all night here.
But there are aspects of throws.
So the key is the timing--
when do you apply the throw?
Kazushi is off-balancing, how do you get the leverage or
break their posture so that you can get the throw to work?
Tsukuri is the fitting into.
Kake is the actual throwing action.
And kime is the actual finishing of the throw.
And the effects are [? combatness-prone, ?]
and there could be other effects of damage included.
OK.
So Sohn is going to show you a few throws.
[? Tsiashi, ?]
which is tripping foot.

All right, good.
How about a [? peri ?]
[? rye, ?]
[? sunny ?] sweep?

All right, good.
All right, let's see Tai Otoshi, body drop.

Hu!
All right.
[INAUDIBLE]
Again, you'll see the gi isn't really necessary.
Just sort of makes us feel good.
And then, why don't you show us Tomoe Nage?
This is the typical sacrifice throw.

All right, good.
And then let's--
so, one thing about jiu-jitsu that probably everyone here
who's seen any jiu-jitsu knows, is that when it's a
one-on-one situation,
jiu-jitsu's incredibly effective.
But it's also true that grappling is relatively slow
compared to striking.
So let's imagine a situation where we can use a throw where
there are lots of zombies.
So let's say that Sohn is being chased by this group of
zombies, and he comes around a corner and of course runs into
another zombie.

We call that one zombie bowling.
So overall, when it comes to throws, because of the way
zombies move and because of that very short stride, the
timing is going to be harder.
And because they're so stiff, the Kazushi, the off-balancing
is actually going to be easier [? of a thing. ?]
The Tsukuri, the fitting, can be perilous.
Any throw where you would get yourself, your collateral
damage areas close to a zombie is a bad thing.
And the throwing action is pretty much the same.
The finishing can be a little perilous.
You don't want necessarily to be down on the ground with a
zombie, and you don't want to have a zombie laying right at
your ankles.
So overall, if we think about how jiu-jitsu works versus
zombies, I think what we want is--
rolls and falls and escapes are 100% effective.
Strikes--
much less so.
Strikes are sort of fraught with peril.
Some are OK, and many are not advised, [? though. ?]
Holds, joint locks, and chokes are
quite a bit less effective.
And throws you're going to have to be careful about which
ones you pick.
But throws-- but getting a zombie down on the ground is
going to be a great tactic as long as you're able to then
get up and run away.
So, I think that's all I have for you today.

I think we're going to have to spend all of our Zombie Fest
budget on getting the gi for the jiu-jitsu master.

So I want to conclude with one brief statement.
And again, this is from What You Need
To Know About Zombies.

"Preconceived notions about the living dead is a recipe
for disaster.
No one can tell you exactly how zombies will behave or
exactly what impact the chaos and panic may incite will have
on civilization.
Following the strict advice of others who claim to have all
the answers will likely get you killed and eaten in the
first days of the coming pandemic.
For me, I'm not interested in being right.
I'm interested in staying alive." So, once again, I'd
like you to join me in thanking all the
presentations.

Remember, we have real human brains outside that we'll be
respectful of.
And if you don't want to view them, [? veer ?] on.
And we'll see you back next year, for the
Zombie Fest will return.