Let's Play Shadow Man Ep. 47: Kill Kill Kill 2

>> RYAN: Audio test, this is an audio test. Because every time I don't do an audio test
all of the audio levels are wrong. Audio test.
Welcome back, Internet people. My name is Ryan and today we are playing Shadow Man for
the PC and there's a...
a tube.
It looks...
amazing. There's things on the tube.
I thought there was something scary and dangerous in there but it turns out there just sort
of wasn't. This is very exciting.
...Unless- Oh god.
Oh dear god.
Oh fuck shit piss.
Oh god! I'm right in front of him.
Oh god, he's stepipng on me. This is not going well for Shadow Man.
Eh! Eh! Ehh!
Well, it's a good thing the AI in this game is completely useless.
Oh god. Oh god.
Oh dear.
Oh god.
Well, Jesus. That wasn't very hard at all.
>> SHADOW MAN: Yes. The dark souls... are mine.
>> RYAN: Everyone keeps trying to make those big guys seem like they're really difficult
and it makes it every time I come close to them I start screaming like a little girl
but then they're just not difficult at all.
You guys are freaking me out.
Anyway. Uhhh.
Oh, that totally is... That's it.
I do believe I've finished this level.
Yeah, that's all three of the dark souls here.
So let's see what else there is here...
Oh, look at that. I finished every single level except for the engine block.
Oh, looks like it's time to go to...
one of these place with these awful Five people that I've been putting off forever.
It's been... It's been years.
Um, hm.
Alrighty so you guys may remember the musket man
who lives on a dreary lane.
I can now shoot him right in the face.
It's going to be exciting
I hope.
I really hope I don't die.
Oh god. Oh god, that's...
That's just lovely.
OK, so we're in this...
I remember being here before. I went over here and got...
murdered. It was awful.
Oh, hello.
Oh god, you shoot lots at me. Oh dear.
Eh.
[gunfire]
Ehh.
>> This is the end, beautiful friend!
>> RYAN: Beautiful friend? That's...
an odd thing to say to me.
So when does he die?
Am I even doing this right? I have no idea.
I sort of wandered up to him and am shooting at him and something's happening.
He's running into a wall.
I know whenever I get hurt I run into walls.
>> I know where you are, boy!
>> RYAN: Oh, you know where I am. OK.
I know where you are too.
Oh god. This is really boring.
I'll...
see you guys in a sec once this guy's dead.
Well, that was exciting.
I shot him a few times.
Then he died. [laughs]
That actually wasn't...
I probably didn't even have to stop the recording for that.
So... now I guess I get to explore this prison level.
Oh, barrels. I love those. They have bullets in them.
Those aren't floating skulls. I miss the floating skulls. The floating skulls were better and
made way more sense.
Oh, it's very dark in here.
Good thing I carry around a floating skull with fire on it.
Again, another thing in this game that makes perfect sense.
Oh. ... OK.
Music is a little depressing.
Do I have to shoot that with my regular gun? Do I even have my regular gun?
Nope, I can shoot that with the Shadowgun. That's good.
>> SHADOW MAN: This should be useful.
>> RYAN: I've got... a house of cards.
Or... cubes.
Or cigarettes.
I got an accumulator.
I don't know what an accumulator does. I'm going to guess that it accumulates things.
I can't for the life of me figure out what a possible use of an accumulator is.
I can however figure out what a possible use of that SMG is.
Got some... computer screens that are made out of four polygons so that's pretty good.
>> SHADOW MAN: There must be something down here.
>> RYAN: There must be something down here.
OK.
Um...
I wonder.
Let's try accumulating this door.
Nope, that just sort of doesn't do anything.
How about...?
Shotgunning the door?
Nope, that didn't do anything either.
Blowing it up?
Nope, that door is invincible I've decided.
Hm, that wasn't the only path. I guess I can go upstairs.
See what's... going on over here.
Can I go through any of these doors? There's doors everywhere but...
they don't have doorknobs so obviously I can't open them.
I love games from this era.
Good thing they have skulls in these...
Oh, what's down here?
Nothing interest- Oh, I fell down.
It just sort of looks like I've found everything in here
unfortunately.
Maybe I'll just return and go back to that one area where the one guy was trying to disco
me to death.
You guys remember this guy, don't you?
Milto? Milto something?
He's got a neon death sign and a neon kill kill kill sign because he is mentally disturbed.
Anyway, I could go through here and shoot him and stuff.
Hooray!
Oh, that can't be good for my back.
I wonder if he'll want to say a bunch more nonsense to me or if he's just going to...
come out sh- Oh god, you're right there! Oh god!
Don't shoot me!
I'm allergic to getting shot!
This is exciting.
Oh, Milto, what happened to your face?
It's covered in demon face bits.
Oh, where are you? Where have you gone?
I don't like this one bit.
>> MILTO: You can't make it on your own, pilgrim. You should know that.
>> RYAN: Oh, you're right there. Oh god, no, stop shooting at me please. Oh god. Oh god.
>> SHADOW MAN: The dark souls... are mine.
>> RYAN: Oh, delicious dark soul acquiring.
Is it just me or was it daytime the last time I was here?
Eh well.
OK, time to exploratoratate.
Good thing they keep those health globules in those pots and things.
So if I remember correctly...
Oop, gunfire there.
Last time I was here I ran down here yelling and screaming the entire way.
I don't remember there being anywhere to go.
>> SHADOW MAN: I need to open this.
>> RYAN: I need to open this apparently.
Don't get up or anything.
I need to open this too.
>> SHADOW MAN: I need to open this.
>> RYAN: OK, Shadow Man.
What? Did I just hear someone in the background yell "I am ze lizard king?" That's weird.
OK, so I got...
something I can't do anything with,
something else I can't do anything with...
a square with no textures. I'm not even exactly sure what that's supposed to be.
I love this game.
OK, let's see.
Lizard king. Who is the lizard king?
Oops, that's not the right button.
Right here, it was this guy.
Doctor Victor Karl something.
I don't remember...
don't remember what he did, nor do I really care but,
"He remains as ever disrespectfully yours, The Lizard King." That's funny.
He's good at writing letters. So that's...
That guy must be the guy...
that will unlock the rest of this very exciting place for me.
Oh, OK. OK, I get it. Those aren't...
It's because those are lizards. Oh, Shadow Man you're so subtle.
That looks like the Lizard King all right.
Mr. Doctor something or other.
Oh, there's more guys in here than there was the last time.
You know, these guys are smart.
They're putting the actual guys that are difficult to kill rather than those guys that go bluuuh.
Bluuuh.
Oh god. He got up.
That's smart. You've got to guard your...
You've got to guard your unopenable door with people that will actually defeat the people
that are coming by.
Oh, I do have to use the retractor on this horrible mangled body? Because that's sort
of gross.
I'm really scared as to what it's going to look like.
Ew. Ew, that was squishy noises.
Anyway, before I venture forth onto the writhing suppurating surface of
something or other
I'm going to make that a video. Thanks for watching, Internet people.