New Year's Resolutions w/ Daily Grace, Beth & OkayNate


Uploaded by MyDamnChannel on 01.01.2013

Transcript:

[CLANG]

BETH HOYT: Hi, guys.
Well, here we are.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
-"The Avengers"
-Well it's what I've always wanted to do.

BETH HOYT: Oh, happy New Year.
DAILY GRACE: Uh.
Yeah, happy New Year, guys.
We're in a full celebration mode.
BETH HOYT: Totally.
We totally are.
Totally are.
DAILY GRACE: At least we were last night.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
Why is it that we set ourselves up every year to
come in to the new year feeling like the shittiest
that we'll feel all year?
Why?
DAILY GRACE: Because.
BETH HOYT: That's--
that's a good-- that's a good enough reason for me.
Well, welcome everyone to our New Year's show, a very
special "My Damn Channel Live," where we're going to
take a look at all we've done here in this studio.
DAILY GRACE: There have been some great moments, some
really epic moments, and some really drunk moments.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, but you know, like, drinks are--
they don't count in the studio,
because it's like work.
DAILY GRACE: Is that what you tell yourself?
BETH HOYT: Uh huh.
Yeah. 'Cause, I mean, like how else do explain the fact that
we've like a bar in our green room and that we play a game
called shots and shots?
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
And you know, come to think of it, I don't think I have ever
left this studio sober.
BETH HOYT: Work.
It's our job.
DAILY GRACE: It's a tough job.
But someone's got to do it.
BETH HOYT: And we do.
But maybe I'll make a New Year's
resolution to drink less.
DAILY GRACE: Me too.
Right after this hair of the dog shot.
BETH HOYT: Sure, yeah, me too.
DAILY GRACE: Great.
BETH HOYT: Um, OK, you guys, so just so you know where
we're coming from, here is a little mash-up of all of our
best drinking moments from "My Damn Channel Live." This one
doesn't count, not this one.
DAILY GRACE: This one's medicinal.
BETH HOYT: Uh huh.

[MUSIC]
-I don't drink all the time.
Like I'm not--
BETH HOYT: I don't drink all the time.
-Like I do on "My Damn Channel" show.
BETH HOYT: And I don't ever talk like that.
-I'm going to drink a lot before I go on camera.
BETH HOYT: No, That's not how, how it.
It's not what happens.
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: Absolutely Party!
-Party!
DAILY GRACE: Oh ho.

-Just measuring some vodka.
BETH HOYT: I mean, there's no marks on this, and--
-Um.
BETH HOYT: How does that measure?
-Yeah, well I put it my mouth and--
BETH HOYT: Also
-And I drink it.
And then I measure it as it's going down.
[MUSIC]
-It ain't a party until you've got Bacardi, am I right?
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: I don't want to get too tipsy.
Um.
Ah!
That is so refreshing.
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: Yikes.
I think after all that drinking in
2012, I need a kombucha.
DAILY GRACE: And I need a new liver.
BETH HOYT: Well, you look great.
DAILY GRACE: Ahh.
BETH HOYT: Hey, let's, like, do something and get our blood
flowing again.
DAILY GRACE: OK.
BETH HOYT: Like feel.
DAILY GRACE: Like a game?
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah!
BETH HOYT: OK, so I just saw these things.
Because, um, the day after we played chubby bunny a little
bit ago, we started playing this game, where
you combine two toys.
And basically, you put a marshmallow in here and you
try and catch in your mouth.
DAILY GRACE: That's what all adults should do.
Let's play.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
Quick tip is that it's harder than it looks.
DAILY GRACE: Great.
I love, uh, setting myself--
BETH HOYT: I don't think any of us did it successfully.
DAILY GRACE: Great.
I love setting myself up for failure.
BETH HOYT: I hope I don't knock out
any of Grace's teeth.
DAILY GRACE: Let's try it.
BETH HOYT: Ready, set.
DAILY GRACE: Ah!
BETH HOYT: [LAUGHS]
DAILY GRACE: I caught it with my hand.
That's half the battle.
BETH HOYT: I never said that wasn't a rule.
DAILY GRACE: [LAUGHS]
BETH HOYT: That hasn't broken a rule.
DAILY GRACE: This is like a fossilized
marshmallow, by the way.
OK, ready?
I'm going--
I have two marshmallow in here.
One, two, three.
BETH HOYT: Two marshmallows?
So better chances for me.
Hup!
DAILY GRACE: [LAUGHS]
Somehow I had three marshmallows in there.
BETH HOYT: All right.
OK.
DAILY GRACE: That was a great effort.
BETH HOYT: Thanks.
DAILY GRACE: OK, we can do this.
We're going to prove that girls are good at sports, too.
BETH HOYT: We're going to make this.
Yeah.
I always prove that on this show.
DAILY GRACE: [LAUGHS]
BETH HOYT: Oh!
DAILY GRACE: Ahh, so close.
BETH HOYT: I hit the rim.
I hit the rim.
DAILY GRACE: So close.
OK, ready?
This is going to happen.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
Mm-hm.
DAILY GRACE: OK.
Here we go.
One, two, three.
BETH HOYT: Hup!
Oh!
DAILY GRACE: Ahh!
She got it.
She got it.
BETH HOYT: [CHOKING]
DAILY GRACE: Girls are good at sports.
Are you choking?
BETH HOYT: Hurray!
DAILY GRACE: Yeah-ha-hah!
BETH HOYT: OK, let's get Nate in here.
Nate, will you be monkey in the middle?
DAILY GRACE: Get in the middle.
Ready.
BETH HOYT: What?
Grace, are you going to try and get it?
DAILY GRACE: I'm going to try and get it.
BETH HOYT: OK.
DAILY GRACE: Nope, Nate.
BETH HOYT: OK.
DAILY GRACE: Ready.
BETH HOYT: No, it was too--
DAILY GRACE: Ahh!
OKAYNATE: I just spit on it.
BETH HOYT: He did't get it either.
He didn't get it either.
DAILY GRACE: OK, ready?
I'll try it.
BETH HOYT: I lost the ball.
DAILY GRACE: Ball?
I got it right here.
Ready?
OK, Beth, I believe in you.
BETH HOYT: I'm ready, I'm ready to box out.
DAILY GRACE: One, two, three.
BETH HOYT: Huh!
DAILY GRACE: Ahh!
[LAUGHS]
DAILY GRACE: Oh.
So close.
BETH HOYT: Oh man.
DAILY GRACE: So close.
OKAYNATE: Oh, no.
BETH HOYT: It was close.
DAILY GRACE: No, it was very close, Nate.
OKAYNATE: Ahh.
BETH HOYT: Here you go, Nate.
I mean, here you go, Nate.
DAILY GRACE: Ready.
BETH HOYT: Yes.
DAILY GRACE: Arrgh!
BETH HOYT: Girls win again.
OKAYNATE: That's cheating.
DAILY GRACE: I'm a champion!
BETH HOYT: I love games.
DAILY GRACE: Me too.
It's also--
BETH HOYT: [LAUGHS]
DAILY GRACE: It's like winning when there's like no stakes.
BETH HOYT: No stakes?
What do you mean?
There is like a winner and there's a loser.
DAILY GRACE: Well then who won what we just played?
BETH HOYT: Um.
DAILY GRACE: See?
BETH HOYT: Well, no, OK.
Well, no, we both know--
we both know that Nate definitely lost.
DAILY GRACE: Definitely.
You suck, Nate.
BETH HOYT: OK, Grace and me may have different reasons
that we like games and competitions on this show, but
no matter what, we do a lot of them here at "My Damn Channel
Live." Here are our favorite super
intense competitive moments.
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: So I just want you guys to have fun and just
really go for it, OK?
Let the games begin.
-Great.
-OK.
-This seems really natural.
[MUSIC]
-OK.
-Yeah, I like the-- oh no.
-What that means, to wear forever.
DAILY GRACE: I've done this once before.
-We need to--
[MUSIC]
-Do we have any cherry pies in the house?
BETH HOYT: Oh, yeah, yeah.
-Wow, I wasn't expecting to have these so quickly.
BETH HOYT: Sure.
Let's give them 30 seconds to really, like, get in there.
-Yeah, yeah.
[MUSIC]
-A heart Oh boy.
Oh god.
DAILY GRACE: Hoo hoo.
-What is it?
DAILY GRACE: Ohh, ooh.
-Do you think it's real?
DAILY GRACE: Yes.
-God.
-[SCREAMS]
[LAUGHS]
DAILY GRACE: [SCREAMS]
Why does this company do this to me?
[MUSIC]
-Up next is the beautiful Soundly Awake, the beautiful
Daily Grace.

BETH HOYT: I'm prepared.
-All right, here we go.
BETH HOYT: Actually, I think it's going to be delicious.
That's what I tell myself.
-Here.
We got it.
BETH HOYT: Whoa, oh man, oh boy.
-This is weirdly sensual, don't you think?
No?
BETH HOYT: Nope.
[MUSIC]
-Flirt, seduce, then make out with your hand.
-What?
What do we do?
What do we do?
What do we do?
[LAUGHTER]
-I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I have a girlfriend.
She's over here.
-You want to have some real fun?
BETH HOYT: Of course I do?
-Yeah, that's how we have real fun, Russian roulette.
BETH HOYT: Oh gosh, you can't, you can't do Russian roulette
on YouTube.
-It's a--
guys, have you guys played this?
It's fun.
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: So many competitions.
I think one of my New Year's resolutions is to be less
competitive.
DAILY GRACE: That's a good one.
BETH HOYT: Oh, I mean, no, actually no.
It's to be-- it's to make sure I win.
DAILY GRACE: I have a resolution to not look at my
face as much as I do.
BETH HOYT: Oh?
That's good, if you need that.
OK, it's 2013 now.
DAILY GRACE: OK.
BETH HOYT: OK, and I also I have, I have a resolution to,
like, call people on the phone rather than text all day.
DAILY GRACE: Mm, I have a resolution to, uh, look at my
face a little bit more than I do.
BETH HOYT: Oh, that's-- that quickly changed.
Let-- wait, Nate, did you right this in the
teleprompter?
It says, it says I have a resolution
to be nicer to Nate.
DAILY GRACE: [LAUGHS]
That's ridiculous.
BETH HOYT: That's so dumb.
DAILY GRACE: OK, wait, did you write this for me too, Nate?
It says I have the same one.
BETH HOYT: I--
Nate, are we that mean?
Are we that mean to Nate?
DAILY GRACE: I don't know.
But let's find out.
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: And thus begins our little-- why are you?
What?
What are you doing?
OKAYNATE: I thought there was fire.
BETH HOYT: This is, this is crepe paper!
OKAYNATE: It looked like fire to me.
Hello, MegaBeth.
[LAUGHS]
DAILY GRACE: We are business acquaintances.
[LAUGHS]
BETH HOYT: Who's excited for "The Hobbit?"
-A friend of mine saw it and said it's "garbagio".
OKAYNATE: Why?
Why are you bringing me down like that?
BETH HOYT: Are you having a good time, Nate?
OKAYNATE: I got to [INAUDIBLE].
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: Can you get back to work.
Just get him out of that.
Oh my gosh, you're already transforming.
I'm going hit Nate in the face.
And then you can hit Dan after I do.
-Wait, wait, wait, what?
No, Beth!
No!
BETH HOYT: All right.
Oh my.
BETH HOYT: Nate, what did you put in the poison shot?
OKAYNATE: Poison.
BETH HOYT: Ahh.
-[COUGHS]
[CHOKES]
BETH HOYT: Nate killed Tyler Oakley.
OKAYNATE: We'll always have that month of Instagram photos
to remember you by.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
Did I do it?
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: Nate, I'm sorry.
DAILY GRACE: I'm sorry, too.
BETH HOYT: You know, I think we've both
resolve to be nicer.
DAILY GRACE: Yes, for sure.
So Nate, what are your resolutions?
OKAYNATE: My real one is actually to cancel my gym
membership, since I never go.
DAILY GRACE: You're boring me.
Stop it.
Please, stop.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
DAILY GRACE: OK.
Beth, what are yours?
BETH HOYT: Um, uh, you know what?
Well, we can--
DAILY GRACE: OK, fine, fine.
Nate, what are your resolutions?
OKAYNATE: Ah, to be a little bit more assertive, I guess,
and also to be a little bit more diabolical.
BETH HOYT: Wait, you want-- you want to be more
diabolical?
I can--
I can help you with that.
I can do that.
OKAYNATE: Oh, I think I need to find it on my own, Beth.
BETH HOYT: That's-- that's a good point.
I understand that.
Do remember when you went to Comic Con?
You kind of found it there.
You were kind of--
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, you were a total bad-ass.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
OKAYNATE: Yeah, a little bit.
I mean, Beth was more important, though.
I mean, she ended up saving the world.
BETH HOYT: That's so true.
Good point.
Really good point, Nate.
Let's watch that.
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: Hi, you guys.
It's Beth Hoyt from "My Damn Channel," aka MegaBeth.
I'm here at New York City's Comic Con.
The superhero racket is a goldmine.
MegaBeth is ready to cash in.
I know the fans can be vicious.
I'm ready.
Comic Con, you ready?
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: All right, the first thing I need is an
iconic image of MegaBeth.
We here in artist's alley.
Let's find them.
I'm here with Mark Dos Santos.
Will you help me with an illustration of the superhero
that is MegaBeth?
MARK DOS SANTOS: Sure.
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: OK, so the drawing is done.
We're ready to see it.
Mark was this like the most fun drawing to do, ever?
MARK DOS SANTOS: I don't know if it was the most fun ever.
But it was definitely fun, and, hopefully, it
help you on your way.
BETH HOYT: Hopefully?
I know it will.
Let's see it.
OKAYNATE: Heya, Beth.
Hey.
What are you guys doing?
BETH HOYT: I'm sorry, what do you want?
OKAYNATE: This looks like fun.
I want to get in on it.
BETH HOYT: Nate, come on, this is my thing.
There's like 100,000 illustrators here.
Find a different one.
Just let me.
Sorry about that.
MARK DOS SANTOS: No worries.
BETH HOYT: It's like the fans, just, you know.
MARK DOS SANTOS: You ready?
BETH HOYT: Let's see.
I'm ready.
Ahh!
MARK DOS SANTOS: There you go.
BETH HOYT: It's beaut-- do I look like that?
I love it so much.
Look at those.
Thank you, Mark.
MARK DOS SANTOS: Oh, no problem.
Thank you.
TRACIE CHING: So why don't you describe some of your
qualities to me.
It'll help me kind of get an idea of what
you're looking for.
OKAYNATE: Ah, I'm a really good listener.
I have a really organized Google Calendar.
I--
I'm really good summoning bartenders.
I really good at knowing when my phone is ringing.
I can tell the thread count of a sheet just by touching it.
TRACIE CHING: All right, so I am about finished.
Are you ready to see it?
OKAYNATE: Yeah, yeah, that'd be great.
TRACIE CHING: All right, here you go.
OKAYNATE: Nefarious Nate.
It looks kind of diabolical, sort of.
TRACIE CHING: Well, weren't you describing a villain?
OKAYNATE: A villain, huh?
Yeah.
Yeah, why not a villain?
OK.
[ECHOING LAUGH]
BETH HOYT: Thank you so much, Tracie.
TRACIE CHING: My pleasure, Nate.
BETH HOYT: Hi, you guys.
I here with Jeff Balke, master colorist.
And now you're having MegaBeth pop.
JEFF BALKE: Absolutely.
BETH HOYT: Just really take-- make sure that you get the
boobs exactly out.
JEFF BALKE: Oh, I'm going to get the boobs
comfortable in there.
BETH HOYT: Those are very accurately drawn.
JEFF BALKE: I, I got to ask you a question.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, please.
JEFF BALKE: What exactly is your power?
You do have a super power, don't you?
BETH HOYT: I knew I forgot something.
Shit.
Do you have any suggestions on like a cool superpower I
should have?
-Uh, shapeshifting?
-Invisibility.
-Robbing Pokemons.
-Telepathy would be good.
-Blast people with rainbows.
-Just hand out free rum.
-I think you could be a good heart breaker.
BETH HOYT: You guys, I'm here with Lorraine, host of
Marvel's "The Watcher." She knows a lot about superheroes.
She's going to help me out.
LORRAINE CINK: How about the power of flight?
BETH HOYT: OK, let's try flight.
[THUNK]
BETH HOYT: Ow.
NICK KROLL: I feel like most superheroes can
walk through walls.
BETH HOYT: I can--
I can maybe--
I can maybe do that.
NICK KROLL: I think you can definitely do it.
I believe in you.

BETH HOYT: Ow.
That's a no-go super power.
OK, you guys, I've got Blair Butler of "Fresh Ink" on G4.
Do you have any suggestions for a super power for me?
BLAIR BUTLER: Super strength?
BETH HOYT: OK.
This is ridiculous.
Can you open this for me?
ROB CORDDRY: Go with a basic one, shoot something out of
your eyes, lasers.
Who cares?
[CRASH]
BETH HOYT: Man.
Do you have any suggestions for a super power for me?
-Super speed.
[WHOOSH]
BETH HOYT: Oh, yeah, oh, ow, ow, ow, cramp.
Oh no, no.
OKAYNATE: The power.
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]

[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
[COUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
BETH HOYT: Nate, what are you doing here?
OKAYNATE: I got an illustrator to draw me and
apparently I'm a villain.
BETH HOYT: Nate, I'm sorry, you're as evil
as I am super powered.
Just leave me alone.
[SAD MUSIC]
-Oh my god!
DAILY GRACE: Oh, a monster!
MegaBeth, look, it's a monster.
[ROAR]
DAILY GRACE: He's threatening to destroy Comic Con.
BETH HOYT: Grace, I'm not MegaBeth.
I'm, I'm just Beth.
DAILY GRACE: You are MegaBeth.
And now is your time.
[HEROIC THEME]
OKAYNATE: Yeah.
I believe in you, MegaBeth.
I believe in you.
DAILY GRACE: Go, MegaBeth.
Kill it!
NICK KROLL: I believed in you, Beth.
It was Inside you all along.
ROB CORDDRY: This is going horribly.
You're never going to win.
BETH HOYT: Excuse me.
Excuse me.

[GROWLS]
BETH HOYT: Oh, no way, OK, no, nope, get me out of here.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
[PANTING]
BETH HOYT: I think I found it.
I found my superpower.
I have super fear.
I have fear powerful enough to keep me alive to
fight another day.
OKAYNATE: MegaBeth.
BETH HOYT: Hi.
OKAYNATE: The monster is still in there.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
OKAYNATE: Aren't you going to fight him?
BETH HOYT: Are you kidding me?
Did you see that thing?
MegaBeth is never going to have a movie franchise if
she's dead, OK?
Well, this was quite a day for MegaBeth at Comic
Con New York 2012.
I've gotten an iconic image.
I met celebrities.
I hung out with a bunch of fans.
Most importantly, I found my superpower.
It may not be the coolest superpower, but it gives me
the one thing I need this business, longevity.
From "My Damn Channel Live," this is Beth Hoyt and
MegaBeth, signing off.

So much fun.
Grace, I love you being here for the holidays.
But you're a West Coast girl now.
How is LA?
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, it's, uh, it's great.
I'm driving a car now, a Hyundai Elantra.
BETH HOYT: That sounds like a four-door.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, four doors, blue.
Yeah.
BETH HOYT: That sounds glamorous.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, it is, it is.
I've been going to a lot of flea markets.
BETH HOYT: Oh yeah?
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: That sounds Brooklyn-y.
DAILY GRACE: It-- it is.
Where I live in LA is a little bit like Brooklyn.
BETH HOYT: Oh cool.
DAILY GRACE: So there's lots of like hipsters in tight
jeans, that kind of stuff.
BETH HOYT: That's an easy transition.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, so it feels like I'm at home.
BETH HOYT: Have you been seeing celebrities?
DAILY GRACE: Um, I thought I saw, like, a Kardashian the
other day, but it wasn't.
It was just a person with dark hair, so.
BETH HOYT: And a fancy white dress that they always wear?
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, did you see their Christmas card?
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
Uh, it looks real good.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
DAILY GRACE: It looks great.
BETH HOYT: It looks like the "Modern Family" ad.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: Isn't-- didn't they do that?
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, ah, uh, it's.
BETH HOYT: Well, they are the modern family.
DAILY GRACE: They are.
They are the beacon of all familial relationships.
BETH HOYT: What also I want is-- is only like as glamorous
as like are you going on like red carpets?
Is there like a red carpet to go to the grocery store?
What's happening?
DAILY GRACE: I bought a red carpet for my Kia,
to put in my closet.
BETH HOYT: In your closet?
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, it's in my closet.
So basically, I can say that I walk on a red
carpet every day.
So--
BETH HOYT: Yeah, or you get dressed on a red carpet.
DAILY GRACE: I do.
Yeah.
BETH HOYT: You are living the life.
DAILY GRACE: I really am living like a life.
It's really cool.
It's really cool.
BETH HOYT: It sounds--
DAILY GRACE: But I do miss me New York.
And I miss the studio.
So I'm so happy that I'm here right now.
BETH HOYT: New York and the studio miss you.
DAILY GRACE: [WHIMPERING]
BETH HOYT: But we're glad you're here.
And it sounds glamorous, your new life.
Like, I really want to live in LA.
But there are, there's just like a few things that stand
in my way of going there.
DAILY GRACE: Like what?
BETH HOYT: Like I'm a little accident prone.
I get "hoit" pretty much every other day.
So it's kind of best for me not to live in a city where
you have to drive around people.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: Last time I was there, I got injured just
standing on a bidet.
DAILY GRACE: Why were you standing on a bidet?
BETH HOYT: Ah, was that, what else, what else do you do on,
what else do you do on a bidet?

Anyways, it was just too bad, because I had a really big
night on the red carpet that night.
But luckily, I always travel with my extensive first aid
kit, so I was good to go.
Let's take a look at the Young Hollywood Awards red carpet.
DAILY GRACE: Whoo.
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: The glitz, the glamour, the red carpet.
I'm Beth Hoyt from "My Damn Channel" here at the 14th
Annual Young Hollywood awards.
I'm so excited to be here.
A little speed bump this morning.
We're good to go.
The stars are out.
Let's do this.
I'm going to pass out.
-Do you know where the tickets are?
[MUSIC]
GINNIFER GOODWIN: Thanks.
Well, how are you?
BETH HOYT: I love [INAUDIBLE].
I'm--
I'm about a two and a half.
GINNIFER GOODWIN: Oh my goodness.
BETH HOYT: I'm feeling all right.
Yeah, it's just for the style, like, I mean, I just thought
I'd use you, because I'm probably going to be wearing
this for like a while.
So do you have any tips how I can like cover it up, or what
I could do with this?
GINNIFER GOODWIN: You know what?
I say, own it.
BETH HOYT: This is my first red carpet, but not my first
concussion.
So we're fine.
JAMES MARLOW: You know, being on a red carpets makes me a
little bit nervous.
I don't know if that's really normal for anybody.
BETH HOYT: I'm really nervous.
I vomited twice.
I'm just hoping that, you know--
JAMES MARLOW: Uh, not that bad.

BETH HOYT: Eh, on a scale of 1 to 10, like how bad would it
be if I threw up on January Jones's dress tonight?
I'm here with--
-No.
BETH HOYT: James Van Der Beek.
-No.
No.
BETH HOYT: There's a question I've dying to ask you.
I've been waiting to meet you because I--
I just, um--

I'm sorry.
How long was I out this time?
What do you do when you can't feel your feet?
SIERRA MCCORMICK: I find somewhere to sit and I just
kind of discretely--
BETH HOYT: Oh, OK.
That's great advice.
SIERRA MCCORMICK: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: Thank you so much.
SIERRA MCCORMICK: You're welcome.
BETH HOYT: You look beautiful.
What are you wearing.
-I am wearing Alberto Ferrar--
-Ferretti.
-Ferretti.
BETH HOYT: That's OK.
-I always forget it.
BETH HOYT: I've forgotten my name.
Do you know?
Did I tell you my name when we met?

I'm James Van Der Beek, here at the James
Van Der Beek theater.
Wait, no.
I'm just wondering, if you know, possibly, what
hotel I'm saying at?
NICK KRAUSE: [LAUGHS]
BETH HOYT: Ashley Greene's up next, the
big host of the evening.
I've been wanting to meet-- see you all night long,
because I have this--
I have this question I want to ask you.
Oh my gosh, I just wanted to-- what?
[MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY]
So?
ASHLEY GREENE: OK.
BETH HOYT: I found an earring.

Oh my god, James Van Der Beek is coming.
OK, James Van Der Beek is here.
He is on the carpet.
I'm ready for you.
I'm so excited about this.
And I'm so close to falling asleep.
It's very weird to feel these two things at once.
It's so fabulous that you're here.
I've been waiting all night long.
JAMES VAN DER BEEK: Thank you.
BETH HOYT: Here's the think, though, it's--
I've been here for a while.
JAMES VAN DER BEEK: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: Slipping in and out of consciou--
JAMES VAN DER BEEK: OK.
BETH HOYT: I just, I'm afraid I'm going--
I'm going to forget this.
Maybe tell me my name and stuff, just so I
don't forget it.
All right, did I start off with my name?
JAMES VAN DER BEEK: No, you started off with my name.
BETH HOYT: (SLOWED DOWN) Hi, I'm James Van Der Beek.
JAMES VAN DER BEEK: It's all right.
BETH HOYT: Just give me that then.
How's it going.
JAMES VAN DER BEEK: Uh, I'm a little confused as what you're
doing here.
BETH HOYT: So am I.
JAMES VAN DER BEEK: OK.
BETH HOYT: I don't know what?
Did that happen?
I think I just want to sleep now.
Is that OK?
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: Wow, what a fabulous evening this has been
here at the Van Der Beek Theater.
I am Hoyt Beth of the "Damned Channel My." Dawson was here.
It was fabulous.
For once again, I'm Sophia Bush, welcome to the-- welcome
to the-- welcome.
I'm--
"60 Minutes" is next.
I'm just going to take a-- just going to take a minute.
Did it start yet?

[SIRENS]
BETH HOYT: Is that my ride?
Just one minute.
Just one minute.
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: Grace, if you could be on any TV show, which one
would you choose?
DAILY GRACE: "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo." I did not--
BETH HOYT: How would you fit in?
DAILY GRACE: Uh, I could be like the, uh,
cousin that has like--
BETH HOYT: Mm hm.
DAILY GRACE: --um, nine toes.
BETH HOYT: Oh my god, dreamy.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, it really is like a dream role.
BETH HOYT: That's sweet.
That would be awesome.
I--
I want to be on "So You Think You Can Dance."
DAILY GRACE: Ahh.
BETH HOYT: For, I mean, but I also want to
have the dancing talent.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'd also love to be, um, on "The Real Housewives of New
Jersey."
BETH HOYT: Oh my gosh.
You could.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, yeah, I'm from New Jersey.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, you just have to get married.
DAILY GRACE: And I could dye my hair darker.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, and go live there.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, and be more of a piece of shit.
BETH HOYT: Mm hm.
DAILY GRACE: Mm hm.
BETH HOYT: But you can still keep drinking.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, that's true.
BETH HOYT: All the time.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: You're required to.
DAILY GRACE: Exactly.
And more glitter.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, which is something I need in my life.
BETH HOYT: You can, you can make that happen.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: I think if you open one tube of glitter, you have,
immediately, more glitter in your life, for
the next few months.
DAILY GRACE: That's true, totally true.
BETH HOYT: Whether you want it or not.
I also want to be in "The Voice." And I want to win it.
I want to have also--
I want to have the talent of a great voice.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'd like be on the "X Factor", I think.
BETH HOYT: Mm hm.
DAILY GRACE: I don't know what my X factor is.
BETH HOYT: What the the X is, mm-hm?
DAILY GRACE: But I'd like to find out.
BETH HOYT: The mystery is exciting.
I'm like, I'm really frickin' talented--
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: Somehow.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
Like I just get up there and be like, what do you guys see?
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: That'd be interesting to see how far you
could get with that.
It think there might be something.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, I think Britney would be all like.
BETH HOYT: Mm hm.
DAILY GRACE: She does all those faces all the time.
BETH HOYT: Right, her yes and no.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
She does all those gifts of her-- of her just being like--
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
DAILY GRACE: --all the time.
BETH HOYT: Like people want my opinion?
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
DAILY GRACE: What am I thinking?
I'm having thoughts.
BETH HOYT: I mean, yeah-- um, hmm.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: It's weird that we chose those reality shows,
because we're like actors.
Isn't that kind of?
DAILY GRACE: Oh.
You know, right.
Then I want to be on "Breaking Bad."
BETH HOYT: Yeah, "Downton Abbey" is
what I wouldn't choose.
DAILY GRACE: Um, "Damages."
BETH HOYT: Actually, uh, "Homeland".
DAILY GRACE: Ah, do the face.
[CLAP]
DAILY GRACE: See, you can do that.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, we can do it.
We can be actors.
DAILY GRACE: We can do acting.
BETH HOYT: We can really.
Yeah, I think I resolved this year to not give up on any of
my dreams and to accomplish them.
DAILY GRACE: Yeah, me too.
BETH HOYT: You know who really taught me that this
year, on this show?
DAILY GRACE: Who?
BETH HOYT: Retta.
DAILY GRACE: Ah.
BETH HOYT: She's amazing.
DAILY GRACE: I love her on "Parks and Rec".
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
And I don't know if you know, but she's
an incredible dancer.
DAILY GRACE: Ooh.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, and motivator.
She is.
Let's watch this video.
Retta, everyone.
[MUSIC]
RETTA: I was really excited to hear that Valerie was
choreographing this piece.
I feel like once they see this, they're going to be
like, let's bring it.
Retta is-- bring her on.
BETH HOYT: I'm so excited.
I'm so, I'm really nervous.
I love "Smash." And I just want an opportunity to, like,
show them, you know, what I've got.
VALERIE SALGADO: A lot of times you just never know,
like you could find, like, the next star.
BETH HOYT: I am like--
I'm just like a bundle of nerves.
I, I'm already--
[RECORD SCRATCH]
BETH HOYT: I'm already beating myself up.
VALERIE SALGADO: OK, let's do this.
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: So I saw Retta doing a few moves before we
started learning the dance.
She was really good.
It'll probably be easier for her.
You know, it's nice to have a partner who can handle herself
and just really--
you know, I can glance over if I'm lost.
VALERIE SALGADO: Retta is awesome.
Like, I could just-- she didn't even have to move.
RETTA: I don't know that I have a process.
I kind of just feel the music, and my body takes over.
VALERIE SALGADO: She's just ready to go at any moment,
like just-- just like a cat.
RETTA: I don't find the rehearsals too challenging.
Uh, and I kind of had a dream about it last night, so I came
in feeling I had--
I already knew.
I don't, you know, over think it.
VALERIE SALGADO: So Beth works really hard.
She's very persistent.
Like, sometimes I have to go over things, like, over and
over and over again.
BETH HOYT: I'm just really shocked at how hard this is.
VALERIE SALGADO: Yeah.
BETH HOYT: Sorry.
VALERIE SALGADO: It's like she doesn't know the difference
between her left and her right.
Yeah.

BETH HOYT: I don't trust her.
Valerie's being a little tough on me.
I think she's not understanding that it would be
better for me if she was nice.
It-- it feels personal.
And I know it's not.
But it feels like she's attacking me, just because I
just need a little more time, you know, maybe, than
Katherine McPhee does.
VALERIE SALGADO: And turn and press, turn, press,
turn, and face her.

RETTA: I mean, Beth is very sweet.
But I feel like she kind of pulls a little
something from me.
And I don't want them to think that I'm on her level.
BETH HOYT: How are you doing?
RETTA: I'm good.
BETH HOYT: OK.
VALERIE SALGADO: I just, I don't--
I don't know if she has what it takes.
BETH HOYT: I feel like she's attacking me.
I feel like Retta is attacking me.
I feel like every--
I feel like everyone's attacking me.
I just--
I just want to be a dancing star on television.
Since I started watching "Smash," that's all I wanted.
VALERIE SALGADO: Five, six, seven, eight.
BETH HOYT: Oh, ow.
Ow.
RETTA: What, what happened?
BETH HOYT: Ow.

RETTA: I'm just saying, I better not see any tears.
Dance is no place for drama.
She needs to pull it together.
I don't think this is for me.
I think I--
I've got to quit.
I think I'm done.

I'm sorry.
I'm so, I'm so sorry.

RETTA: Yeah, dude, why did you [BLEEP]
book this?
Why am I doing this?
She's in the hallway crying.
[SOBBING]

VALERIE SALGADO: Ah, I'm just doing a favor for a friend.
It's all it is, really.
RETTA: The choreographer is fine.
She's great.
I mean, she can't make it any simpler unless we just stand
there and clap hands.
I'll be nice.
Ugh.
Beth?
No, come back.
It's fine.
BETH HOYT: It just--
it felt really good, when Retta reached out to me.
RETTA: You're great.
BETH HOYT: Ah, I was having a bad time.
VALERIE SALGADO: Well, you know, after working on it a
little bit, I made the choice to simplify it a bit.
RETTA: Well, we've pared it down and made it simpler.
So I think she'll be OK.
She'll be fine.
She'll be fine.
It'll--
it's simpler, so it'll be good.
I'm so concerned about you touching me, I'm like trying
to do this.
BETH HOYT: [LAUGHS]
Um, Retta just like--
we just nailed it, first of all.
And she just reminded me of, like, why we're doing this in
the first place.
And it's just to dance.
It's because dancing feels so good.

[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: Yeah, after seeing that, I feel like equally
confident and totally destroyed.
I resolve to become a better dancer.
DAILY GRACE: I think you're a good dancer.
BETH HOYT: You do?
DAILY GRACE: Totally.
You nailed "Gangnam Style."
BETH HOYT: No, you nailed "Gangnam Style."
DAILY GRACE: No, you did.
BETH HOYT: No, you did.
DAILY GRACE: You did.
BETH HOYT: You really did.
DAILY GRACE: You were--
OKAYNATE: I feel pretty good about my "Gangnam Style." I
mean, you guys totally led me.
Ah, 'cause it's, it's 'cause of you guys.
DAILY GRACE: Let's just watch "Gangnam Style".
[MUSIC]
DAILY GRACE: And some of you left a
very interesting comment.
I think Grace and Beth should do the "Gangnam Style" dance.
Ahh.
BETH HOYT: And it's very aptly named-- is this, is this
awkward enough?
So we're about to do that.
DAILY GRACE: Let's do it.
BETH HOYT: Nate, can you, uh-- we need a backup dancer.
Can you, um?
DAILY GRACE: Go behind us and dance.
BETH HOYT: There you go.
You need this.

So, uh, are you-- are you going to be ready?
DAILY GRACE: You good?
You got this?
BETH HOYT: That is ritzy.
DAILY GRACE: OK, hit it.
[MUSIC - PSY, "GANGNAM STYLE"]
BETH HOYT: Yes.
That felt great.
I don't think I breathed the entire time.
DAILY GRACE: That felt really--
BETH HOYT: I forgot to breathe.
DAILY GRACE: Really good.
BETH HOYT: Nate, yeah, get back to work.
DAILY GRACE: Stat.
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: You know, another resolution of mine, to give a
shout-out to PawneeGoddess, LizLouis, Olivia Davidson,
Becky Hepworth, DjMistiqo.
DAILY GRACE: Yes, and thank you Lilian Carilo,
That2ndGirlLily, MrJotz, AeroChic777, and so many more.
OKAYNATE: Yeah, and thanks to AndThenThereWereCats,
LunisBadman, TheRealLiz, and MaRuizRico.
BETH HOYT: You guys, without you watching live every week,
or almost every week, and commenting such great
questions, we wouldn't have a show.
DAILY GRACE: You make our world.
OKAYNATE: Totally.
BETH HOYT: You guys are the shit.
And for those of you who've watched every week and to
those of you who are new to the show, here is a collection
of our favorite moments here at "My Damn
Channel Live" thus far.
Here she is, the Beth of the Year.
DAILY GRACE: Stop, Nate.
BETH HOYT: Yeah, Nate, this our thing.
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: (AUTOTUNED) Something's wrong with the
sound of my voice.
I'm trying not to sing, but I don't have a choice.
Is literally impossible to be off-key, sounding perfect is
easy as one, two, three.
-Ahhh!

DAILY GRACE: The baby was born with three thumbs.
When she rates movies now, there's going to be a whole
new system.
BETH HOYT: This is really fun for you.
Are you glad you came here today?
-Mm hm.
[MUSIC - ADIRA AMRAM, "PIZZA PARTY"]

DAVID CROSS: It's a win-win situation.
BETH HOYT: Absolutely.
Oh yeah.
DAVID CROSS: "The Avengers."
BETH HOYT: I really, really do like the sound of football in
the background.
Ahh!
DAILY GRACE: Who put this industrial sized wood chipper
here, Nate?
Someone could get really hurt.
Here, I'll just move it.
I hope I don't trip on it.
Ahh.
[GRINDING]
DAILY GRACE: [SCREAMS]
I'm dying!
My blood, I have so much blood.
I never knew I had so much blood.
That's impressive, really.
BETH HOYT: I can bench press you super duper easy.
It's like, you weight like nothing.
Silly string war, silly string war.
[LAUGHS]
BETH HOYT: Are you OK?
DAILY GRACE: I'm physically OK.
Wah, wah wah, wah, commenting on comments.
La, blah, la, la.
-Hey, she is kind of pretty for a man.
I, I like, I like the way she talks in her mouth-parts.
-Yeah, I want to say, happy birthday, Gabe.
You are my friend.
That's my request.
-OK, happy birthday, Gabe.
You are my friend.
You are my future friend or maybe
current friend, no problem.
-Perfect.
BETH HOYT: Oh wow.
Wow, what is-- that is impress-- this is.
-No, you know.
BETH HOYT: This is what mine is.
-Oh, no yours is sick.
Oh, shit.
BETH HOYT: Yeah.
-All right, dude.
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: Have ever really gotten coal as a gift?
You probably have.
-No, I never got coal as a gift.
BETH HOYT: Good, thank god.
-Uh, one time my grandfather died
two days before Christmas.
BETH HOYT: Just once?
-Just one time.
BETH HOYT: OK good.
Well that's a-- that sounds like a comfortable place.
-Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
BETH HOYT: It's what you see as comfortable.
DAILY GRACE: Can you fap to that?
Can you?
[MUSIC - BEAT BOX]
-Mm hm.

-Chubby bunny.

GILBERT GOTTFRIED: Man, would I like to fuck that.
BETH HOYT: Oh.
-Hello.
BETH HOYT: [LAUGHS]
Isn't this fun?
-[LAUGHS]
It is terrific.
Well, I'm Kurt.
And this is Beth.
And you're watching "Live With Kurt and Beth."
BETH HOYT: Well, I should hope they are.
-I mean if they're not, what are they doing?
BETH HOYT: I don't know.
-What are they doing if they're not watching?
[LAUGHS]
[MUSIC]
BETH HOYT: Guys, thank you so much for watching our New
Year's show.
I can wait to go to bed after this.
DAILY GRACE: You want to go get a drink?
BETH HOYT: Yeah, totally.
Let's do that.
DAILY GRACE: Yay.
And thanks so much to all of you for watching and
subscribing and commenting.
BETH HOYT: And thanks to you, Grace, for hosting.
DAILY GRACE: And thanks to you, Beth, for hosting.
BETH HOYT: Doh.
Boom.
And to all the amazing guests we've had here in the studio.
DAILY GRACE: Yes, I've had some of my best friends and
some people I've never met before.
BETH HOYT: We had like a really great list of talented
people who have sat or stood or taken
gross shots right here.
Let's look at them.
DAILY GRACE: Subscribe and--
TOGETHER: Happy New Year.
DAILY GRACE: Stop, Nate.
BETH HOYT: Seriously.
[MUSIC]
STEVE RANNAZZISI: Hey, I'm Steve Rannazzisi.
And you're watching, "My Damn Channel Live",
live, (SLOWED) live.
-I'm Abbey.
-And I'm Alana.
And we're BudCity.
ADAM CAROLLA: Hi, I'm Adam Carolla.
-Hi, I'm Chris Gethard.
RETTA: Hi, my name is Retta.
-My name is Andrew W.K.
-I'm Bella Thorne.
-I'm Kurt Braunohler.
-Ayinde Howell.
-I'm Adira Amram.
-I'm Dave Hill.
-Baratunde Thurston.
-I'm Hannah Hart.
-Hi, I'm Christian Finnegan.
-Hi, I'm Arden Myrin.
-Hey guys, this is D. C. Pearson.
-Tyler Oakley.
-I'm Eugene Merman.
-Hi, I'm Kitty Pryde.
-Hi, I'm Julia Klausner.
And you're watching My God Damn Channel Live.
[RECORD SCRATCH]
-I'm just kidding.
There is no God.
-Hi, I'm David Cross.
-Hi, you crazy kids.
This is Emma Caulfield.
-We're the National Film Society.
-Hi, this is Tony Waza.
-Hi, I'm Matt McManus from "McMayhem."
-Hi, I'm W. Kamau Bell.
-I'm Dan Sagerman.
-My name's Dan Rollman, from Record Setter.
-Hey, I'm Michelle Vargas.
-Hey, I'm Sandy Pariq.
-Keep watching guys.
-My name's Ted Leo.
-Hi, it's Yvette Nicole Brown.
-Hey.
-Hey, I'm Thomas Ian Nicholas.
-Hi, I'm Julia Nunes.
-Oh my god, oh my god.
-Hey, I'm Nick, aka Soudly Awake.
-I'm Bree Essrig.
-Hey, I'm Dan Browning.
-Hi, I'm Troy Hitch.
-It's Capone.
-My name is David Reese.
-It's Taryn Manning here.
-I'm the internet's wheezy waiter.
-Hi, I'm Gabe.
-And I'm Max.
-And You're watching "My Damn--
-Sylvestri, Max Sylvestri.
-Hi, I'm John Glaser.
-Hi, hello, this is Mitchell Davis.
-Hi, my name is Reggie Watts.
-Hi, I'm Amy Miles.
-Hi, I'm Lance Reddick.
-Hey, we're Dave and Ethan.
-Hi, I'm Chris Crocker.
-Hi, I'm Jordan Carlos.
Hi, I'm Myk O'Connor from Whisker Wars.
-I'm Lorraine Cink, the Watcher.
-I'm Joe Moses.
-Hey, it's comedian, actor, author Finesse Mitchell.
-My name is Wilson Bethell.
-We're the Wing Girls.
-We're the Gregory Brothers.
-It's me, Shannon Coffey.
-Hi, I'm Josh Bentleman.
Hi, I'm John Benjamin, and you're watching "My--.
-Hey, I'm Janine Britto.
-Hey guys, I'm Dan Dobi.
-Hi, I'm Justin Halperin.
-Hey.
-I'm Luke Conard.
-I'm Franchesca Ramsey.
-Hi, my name is Jason Horton.
-Hi, I'm Danny Tamberelli.
-And I'm Mike Marona.
-Who am I?
What are you talking about.
I'm Trish.
-Hey, this is Wyatt Cenac.
-Hey, I'm Zachary Gordon.
GILBERT GOTTFRIED: Hi, I'm Gilbert Gottfried.
And you're watchen-ing.
You're watchen-ing?
You're watchen-ing?
-Hi, I'm David Wayan.
And you're watching "My Damn Channel Live."
RETTA: "My Damn Channel."
-And "My Damn Channel."
-"My Damn Channel."
-This is "My
Damn Channel." -Hey.
-"My Dang Channel Live."
-"My Damn Channel Live." Live.
-You're watching it live.
It's live.
-Hi, you're watching "My Damn Channel Live."
-Has nothing to do with guns.
-Is that one all right?
-Oh, fuck.
[DING]

-Cheers and party hard.
[LAUGHS]
[MUSIC]