UFOs -- Ben the Over-Literal Dermestid Beetle Weighs In

Uploaded by wootchannel on 06.03.2011

Oh, no, it's the stupid Woot.com video podcast again.
He's Ben the Over-Literal Dermestid Beetle and he's got a bone to pick!
I've got a bone to pick with extra-terrestrialists!
Whenever some soft-headed dweeb wants to know whether I think, as he does, that our planet
is regularly visited by alien spacecraft, he will ask me whether I "believe in U.F.O.s"
This is a profoundly stupid question.
"U.F.O" stands, of course, for "unidentified flying object." Is there anyone who doesn't
believe some flying objects go unidentified? Obviously I "believe in UFOs," the same way
I believe people sometimes see faces they don't recognize, or flowers they can't name,
or occasionally come across words they don't know.
When people ask this question, what they really want to know is whether I believe their failure
to identify some shape in the sky is, in itself, PROOF that shape is an interstellar ship,
which was designed and constructed by an intelligent alien race, for the purposes of traveling
to Earth, taking a furtive peek, then quickly soaring away before the natives grow restless.
For the record, I do not believe this. Furthermore, if you DO believe it you are operating on
sufficiently low cerebral wattage that the question really ought to be not whether intelligent
life forms can be found traveling through our solar system, but whether one can be found
in that outfit you're wearing.
But say that's you. Say you subscribe this malarkey, and are trying to discover if I
share your intellectual defect. Don't ask whether I "believe in U.F.O.s." We all do.
Ask what you mean, which is whether I believe in visiting Spacemen.
Guh. The idea! You must be pulling my coxa. Anyway, I've vented about it now, so that's
the last I'll have to say on the matter.
But you know it won't be Cause he's Ben the Over-Literal Dermestid
Beetle and he's got a bone to pick!